Evil Spark (7 page)

I looked down. "Oh, hi, Intus. How are the kids?"

"Don't talk to me about kids. We've got twenty-six now and they are driving me nuts. Nice to have some sun for a change, makes it feel a little more like home. Got any Marmite?"

"Not on me, no."

"Shame."

There was silence for a moment; another brick fell. Intus disappeared in a puff of smoke before he got crushed. He reappeared balanced on Kate's blouse, then "accidentally" fell in. Lucky bugger. "Oops," he said, smiling at me mischievously.

"Well, nice day for it," he said brightly.

"Perfect, just bloody perfect," I said, wishing I was an imp too, right then.

Actually, permanently seems like a good idea quite often, apart from the Marmite bit.

Hidden and Hostile

Intus is an imp and until a week ago I'd had no clue if it was a male or female. But after an incident when I saw more than I bargained for, I was convinced it was him with his devilish bottom pumping away—ugh, I'm not going over what happened again. So it became a he in my mind, whether or not that was actually the case. I could have got him mixed up with his wife, Illus, which would mean he was a she, but the gender choice stuck.

Whenever I try to confront the naughty imp about gender, and the ways of love and relationships, Intus always accuses me of being gender biased and tells me I shouldn't judge sentient species on their sexuality, or their sexual preference, and the next thing I'd be saying was I thought proud, red Hidden—meaning imps—were lesser creatures.

I've had countless conversations with it-him-her denying the accusations, but to be honest when a tiny creature keeps jumping down Kate's blouse and winking at me I can't help but think of it as male. Hey, if I had the chance I'd do the same.

But if I say anything I'll be admonished for being gender biased and asked why can't women admire the female form too?—which is a fair point—and anyway, it was an accident and he didn't mean to fall into her cleavage and get lost in her bra.

So, like I said, he'd become a male, of sorts, to me. A woman would come up with a better excuse than, "Whoops. I slipped."

With Intus now on Kate's shoulder, we followed the troll through the hole and out to the back of the fitness center. It was pandemonium.

I've accompanied Rikka to numerous Dark Council meetings, where it's strictly humans in attendance—but never a Hidden Council meeting, as they are for Heads only, no exceptions—and the chaos when you get a group of mages, warlocks, wizards, seers, closely watched zombies, and all manner of magic interested humans in attendance is nothing compared to the sheer chaos at the back of the fitness center. Rikka would have had a fit.

Stepping out into the sweltering heat was weird, especially after it had already felt like a sauna in the gym. The sun was so intense I felt out of place and time, almost convinced someone had transported us to another country.

I took my jacket off, and watched my tattoos wriggle a little just by being in the presence of so many magical creatures.

The gym must have been packed, I was right about that. I saw many familiar faces, some not so familiar, and numerous that could have been anyone—trolls, dwarves, gremlins, and many other true Hidden all look pretty much the same until you get to know them well and pick up on the subtleties. Never say that though. It's about as speciesist as you can get, and a lot of them are quick to anger. Um, don't mention that, either.

The usual shortage of dwarves were huddled together, talking loudly and fast, accents so thick it was hard to understand a word—they get like that when they are in a group and excited—but talk to one on their own and they are careful to speak clearly.

Ghosts, souls that won't give up their magic for one reason or another, floated around the periphery, stealing what magic they could, practicing lame attempts at scaring everyone—when they will accept this is not the best crowd for such antics I really don't know. The trolls just loitered, mostly immobile and in the way, looking angry and menacing, but that's their usual look so you shouldn't read too much into it.

There were various humans, or sometime humans, too, each with their own abilities. From wizards like me that are adept at anything from subtly manipulating objects, to those that could turn invisible at will, to a few I knew were involved in things too dark to mention.

I spied, and ignored, a few very dangerous and very disturbing men and women that specialized in summoning demons. It's a risky business, and so absolutely terrifying in what you can conjure that it's no wonder these characters have perpetually terrified expressions—yet they always go back for more.

There is as much pleasure as pain to be had when you gain access to the netherworlds, and takes all sorts I guess. Some would call them sado-masochists, I call them a bit loopy. Not to their faces mind you. You don't want any nasty surprises in the night, if you know what I mean.

Everyone and everything was in uproar. The noise was intense, the anger palpable, the magic almost overwhelming, and so strong it leaked worse than a punctured zombie dripping formaldehyde.

The heat was making many Hidden irritable, and others just plain angry. Nobody comes to Wales for the sunshine.

I spotted Dancer, so grabbed Kate and we made our way over, hoping to get some answers.

"Dancer, what the hell is happening here? Hard-Head was talking about a ninja attack by goblins that floated, tell me it's just getting a little excited and exaggerating." Even as I said the words I knew it sounded daft. Trolls are not known for fanciful embellishment. They aren't built that way; they're built of rock.

Dancer ignored me totally and tried to smile at Kate, but it was more of a leer than anything. I swear I saw him thinking about how to go about smiling. "Hi, Kate, you look very pretty today." Sweat glistened on his upper lip, making him look more creepy than ever.

"Hi, Dancer. You look, er, well?"

"Oh, I am, thank you. Well, I was. Did you guys miss it? I guess you did." Dancer turned to me. "Hey, Spark. And no, Hard-Head was not exaggerating, as if it could. They took the Boss. They took Mage Rikka, right from under our noses. Can you believe it?"

I took a step back. I'd forgotten just how much Dancer reeks of death. A week away and it was like I'd never been close to him before. Being a necromancer means he smells of damp soil, bleach from hospital raids, and other things even more unsavory. It's a part of him now, like he uses the stench of corpses and places of death as deodorant. "Come on, let's get away from all this. You need to tell me what's been happening."

"Sure. This lot were useless anyway." Dancer spoke loudly, and got a lot of angry looks for his words, but nobody objected as such. They were clearly all feeling a little upset about the fact he was right.

We moved away from the group and sat on a grassy rise that looked down on the fitness center. The Hidden continued arguing and shouting at each other by the massive troll hole in the wall, casting blame and generally being ineffective.

We settled ourselves on the wilting grass and watched the humans and non-humans as they shimmered in the heat haze, still so uncharacteristic for a Welsh summer's day I felt like I was in a dream, displaced and my mind not quite where it should be.

I watched as a pair of teenagers walked around the back of the building, looking for a little privacy. The whole group morphed as the Regulars came close enough to catch sight of them.

One minute there was a group of Hidden as I see them, and the next there was a slight shift and for a moment I watched, mesmerized as always, as the magic in all of our kind kicked in and everyone transformed into how people in the normal world see them. Or don't, like me.

Gone were the dwarves, here were a group of swarthy men with bushy beards and hipster haircuts wearing torn jeans—that people apparently do on purpose!—and carrying leather satchels rather than the usual chunky bags for rocks, hammers, and gold.

Trolls were replaced with fat men and very curvy women in dodgy tracksuits and ill-fitting leisure wear. Those just looking like humans stayed as they were, but became entirely unmemorable, impossible to describe or ever recall.

The ghosts were gone entirely, and the goblins turned into what looked like a group of slender marathon runners, all limbs and six packs, looking even more odd than they do in their proper forms with their gym equipment on—they really like to dress for the occasion.

A few imps, who Intus must have been with, turned into anything from weird-ass looking cats, to a dog that looked mangier than a Yeti that forgot its grooming kit and had wandered through the woods for a few years. You'd think, with eternity to practice, that imps would have the hang of it by now.

Needless to say, the kids turned back around quick smart and decided to go smooch somewhere else.

"Okay," I sighed, "what happened?"

"Well, I was talking to Rikka at his desk, everyone else was working out, and he was ranting a little about Grandma going missing and that it was the vampires and he was going to go medieval on their asses and—"

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow at that remark.

"Well, maybe not in those exact words. You know he doesn't like bad language, but he was ranty at any rate. And then out of nowhere, and I mean out of nowhere, a bunch of goblin ninjas floating in the air and wearing those cool soft sock shoe things and with swords and everything, um... well, they just nabbed Rikka. Lifted him up and whoosh, they were gone."

"Haha, come on, seriously? That's what Hard-head said. Floating goblin ninjas? Seriously? And they lifted him up? You have seen the size of him, right?"

Dancer looked at me hard. "Do I look like I'm joking, Spark? Do I?"

"No, you don't."

"Well then."

"Okay, so where the hell are they? Where's Rikka?"

"Gone, like I said."

"How are we supposed to find Grandma, and organize this lot, if Rikka's been taken too?" This was getting out of hand. Could it get any worse?

"I know what to do," said Intus cheerily in his deep baritone from Kate's shoulder. She put a hand to her ear at the loud rumble.

I knew it wouldn't be good. Imps, and Intus in particular, are not known for their subtlety. "Okay, let's hear it."

"We need to go visit the gnomes. They are good at this sort of thing."

"What sort of thing?" I asked suspiciously.

"Finding missing mages. It's their thing. They love a treasure hunt."

"Look, Intus, this isn't a treasure hunt, it's a...." Maybe he was right. Maybe the gnomes were the perfect choice to help. "Okay, you might have a point."

"To the gnomes," shouted Dancer. We looked at him with shock. "What? I've always wanted to say that."

"Um, why?" asked Kate.

"Dunno, just sounds funny."

I guess it did. Or would have if Mage Rikka and Grandma weren't missing.

Goblin floating ninjas! What next, golden, carrot munching, singing minotaurs? Then I remembered. He'd gone on a round the world trip seventy-five years ago and nobody had heard from him since. He must still be enjoying himself.

Yeah, ours is an odd world, I know.

Time to Breathe

With the new girl gone from behind reception, I took a set of keys for one of Rikka's Range Rover SUVs and told Dancer we would wait for him in the car. To my surprise, he remained calm and collected, taking charge with an ease and authority I never knew he had in him. He was not just believable as a person in charge, he truly was the one in control.

Dancer made a call, arranging for a temp from one of Rikka's agencies to come cover. He somehow managed to arrange to have the wall repaired that same day by a bunch of dwarves that didn't mind dirtying themselves with such mundane work as long as the gold was good and yellow, and generally began sorting out the mess and taking charge. It was weird to watch. Like he was another person.

While he was making his calls, we went out to the fleet of vehicles. The heat bounced off the cars like we were in an oven, blinding us as sun glinted off mirrors and polished black metal. Once I pressed the fob, and the car flashed its greeting, we got into the nice shiny four by four.

I put the air conditioning on straight away, turning it up to max, and we all breathed a sigh of relief. The humans did, at any rate. Intus didn't like it. He's used to the heat, being an imp and all, but it was tough. Kate and I were melting like ice cubes under Intus' thick leather dungarees.

Aah, new car smell. I love it. It's why I never buy my own wheels. I can always use Rikka's and they are always the latest models, but it's the smell, the squeak of polished leather, the clean interior and the knowledge that the chance of them breaking down is minimal. Oh, plus it means free fuel.

Things were moving too fast. I hadn't recovered properly and I'd already used magic that morning, so was still a little queasy. Not only from magic use but from worry. Where was Grandma? And now Rikka. What was happening? My world was crumbling around me and I felt displaced. Lost. Without Kate I would have gone wild, I know I would. Rampaging around, breaking down doors, and smashing heads, or blasting heads more like, and it would have probably got me into a lot of trouble.

"Can we sit quietly for a minute, please? I need to think and I need to breathe."

"Sure," said Kate, smiling in sympathy.

"No problem," barked Intus, snuggling up to Kate. I didn't even have the energy to feel jealous. Much.

I tried to think rationally but my head was a mess. What was the connection? What on earth would make someone snatch Mage Rikka? Well, actually there were no end of reasons. He has made a lot of enemies over his nine hundred years. He is grumpy, bossy, greedy, powerful beyond compare, runs the Councils in a strict but I think fair way, but is the Boss, so has enemies.

And then there were the vampires to consider. He, and they, namely Head Vampire Taavi, do not get on. They are what you would call, not close friends. They disagree about everything. The only thing they ever agreed on was staying Hidden, and even then there have been times when Taavi pushes for revelation, saying it would be better for everyone, meaning he and his kind could run riot and recruit so many vampires that the world would be teeming with them. Not a good idea. It has led to arguments, for sure.