Exhale (39 page)

Red was the color of death. The color of Fire.

She shrank back, but there was nowhere to go. An endless plain of white nothingness held her prisoner, separate but parallel to the realm where people slept and dreamed. A part of it, yet apart from it.

She belonged neither here nor there. She opened her mouth to speak or scream or cry, but no sound came out. Just an exhalation, soft as a bird feather floating to the ground.

She was dead. Never even got to say goodbye to Gavin.

The muscles around her eye twitched, and everything blurred.

Gavin.

Scarlet.

She remembered.

The final scenes of her life rewound and played back…

She reached into her purse for her phone but couldn’t find it. Someone in the crowd at the dock must have taken it. She went to the tent to change. The clothes she’d left there were gone. Puzzled, she bought a cheap tee shirt and shorts from one of the harbor shops and dressed in the public restroom. On her way out, Scarlet’s biker Fyre Elemental friend—yes, he must have been a Fyre—stopped her and said Gavin was in trouble and needed her help. She didn’t believe him, but couldn’t risk not going in case he was telling the truth.

He took her to Gavin’s house and sent her inside. She saw herself having sex with Gavin on the bed. He shot her with a powerful rush of water, and she flew through the air. Her final moments were filled with the darkest, deepest sadness she’d ever experienced. When the lights went out, her vision turned not black, but blood red.

The man she loved had killed her.

Death was the color red.

A voice pierced the thick cotton air. It wasn’t human.
Can we help you, Zoe?

Another joined in.
You fight for us. Let us fight for you.

And another.
Our numbers dwindled in the past because of man’s greed. But now we are stronger because of you.

She turned in a slow circle. Nothing but mist, yet her heart—or whatever functioned as a heart in this afterlife—told her she was surrounded. Vague blue lights penetrated the fog, giving it an eerie tinge. She stopped counting at a hundred, but there were many more ‘bodies’ than that.

Holding out a hand to the group, she thought,
Are you whales?

Yes,
the collective replied.
Let us help you.

I’m dead. I have no voice or body.
And in truth, after the betrayal she’d witnessed—intentional or not—she had little motivation to return. Sadness was easier to deal with than outright pain.

Go back to Gavin.

Lily. It was Lily who said that. But her voice came from somewhere outside of this place.

He killed me. Twice—my heart and body. I can’t go back.

You must. He needs you.
The humpback’s words tapered off as if she were losing strength.
And the whales need you too. I never reached the baby in the harbor last night.

She’d forgotten about the baby…

Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how to return.
She gestured to her shimmery white body, then dropped her hands to her sides. Death was hopeless.

You must let go of the fears that tie you down. Allow the Water to flow inside you.

How?

Close your eyes. Remember who and what is important. Then exhale…
Lily whispered.

Helping the whales was a no-brainer, but could she give Gavin another chance? She trusted Lily, but what if the whale was wrong? Maybe Gavin knew exactly what he was doing with Scarlet all along.

But that didn’t make sense. He wanted her dead as much as Zoe did.

He made a mistake.

If she went back, could she risk having her heart broken again? She had experienced the pull of that biker guy’s Fire at Shaggy’s and knew firsthand how tempting it was. Scarlet had proven she wouldn’t stop until she got her man. What if Gavin wasn’t strong enough to resist Scarlet’s allure?

Indecision paralyzed her.

A sob-riddled voice cried out to her from far away. She closed her eyes and focused hard on it.

Gavin.

Tightening her mental grip on his sad sound, she pulled herself a little closer. It
was
him. Was he crying over her?

Watery emotion returned to the body she’d left on the other side and slammed her consciousness with incredible force. Trembling hands held her in an epileptic grip. Thin, blue sadness flowed through the arms that had cradled her in countless dreams, but the invisible boundary between them prevented his warmth from reaching her now. She longed for those beautiful, strong arms to hold her again…

Tears fell on her closed eyes. Liquid regrets…

Her body rocked. Undiluted worry…

Oh, God.

Would she ever be able to forgive what he’d done to her?

Would
he
?

Someone else took command of her body, but Gavin remained close. Her heart jerked. Her neck twisted. Broken pieces fused back together, but she remained lifeless.

Zoe shivered.

Remember who and what is important…

Yes. The whales were important. But Gavin was an imperative.

She exhaled with every bit of breath, love, and soul she had.

Chapter Forty

A loud, hard wheeze rasped from Zoe’s white lips, and Gavin’s heart collided with his ribs.

Jet leaned back and slid the other Elemental’s hands out of Zoe’s chest. A rattle gave way to a series of wispy coughs.

Holy fucking hell, Zoe was alive!

Gavin lunged forward and draped himself over her waking body. Warmth returned to her skin. Her heart thumped against his ear, regaining momentum in slow, steady beats. He cried like a fucking pussy, and then cried some more.

“I’m so sorry, Zed. So sorry…” He tugged her torn shirt over bare breasts, and cradled her in his arms. The air moving in and out against his shoulder was the sweetest sensation he’d ever felt. Reminded him of the day he rescued her from drowning. But a thousand times better.

Jet stood up gingerly and waved the other Erthe to her side. They started down the drive. A long, deliberate-looking line of dark red soaked through the back of Jet’s shirt. Almost like an artist had painted a bloody flourish across the skin beneath. The smell of iron hung in the air. What the hell? He hadn’t seen her bump into anything.

Gavin sniffled through the daze. “Are you okay?”

She faced him and nodded. “Yeah. And Zoe will be okay too.”

“Thank you.” He choked on the shards of his words. “Thank you both.”

He didn’t wait to see if they left. Zoe stirred in his arms. Her breathing evened out, but it still hit little speed bumps here and there. She reached for the back of her head and grimaced. Gavin took her hand and kissed each finger in turn. She stared at him. The corners of her lips curled up for a second, then fell back into a straight line.

He would never forgive himself for what he did to her, even if she did. He covered his face with his free hand, and lost his shit again. Funny how before he met Zoe, he couldn’t scrounge enough Water to even threaten a Fyre Elemental, let alone blast one to hell. Right now, the Water was all he had. He buried his face in her hair and squeezed her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered. “She was
you
. I threw out the code word, and she gave the right answer. She smelled like you, had your voice, the scars on your legs—even had your aura. She fooled me. If I’d known the truth, I would have killed her on sight.”

Goddamn it, how did he not see it?

While Jet had gone to work on Zoe, he had plenty of time to think about where he’d gone wrong. The tote bag, the heat, Scarlet’s flippant attitude about the whale…If he had thought with his head instead of his dick, he might have noticed these little inconsistencies.

But the lack of song should have been the biggest giveaway. He’d been so eager to get inside her, he hadn’t paid attention to the most important clue. No way Scarlet would have been able to reproduce Zoe’s song.

He should have known better.

He shook his head. Hardest lesson he’d ever learned. He’d never make that mistake again. Might not have the chance to anyway.

“Can you talk?” He pushed sticky red stands of hair away from her face. “You probably don’t want to, but I need to know if you’re all right.”

She opened her mouth, then swallowed. “Yeah. I’m all right.”

But the hurt in her eyes and the navy blue holding her aura for ransom told a different story. Emotional pain. Grief. Devastating loss of trust.

He looked away.

Zoe tested the ground with her fingers and gingerly pushed herself to a sitting position. She wrapped the remains of her shirt tight around her, drew her knees close, and hugged them. Her shoulders hunched. Dirt and blood etched stripes and splotches over her skin, magnifying the crow’s feet around her tired eyes. Now dull gray, they’d lost their blue, and the spark that used to live there had disappeared.

She scrunched up her face and turned away from him. Long hair fanned around her knees. Her body shook with silent tremors.

The tattoos on his left forearm darkened to blue-black. Lips quivering, he stood up and paced the driveway. Couldn’t take it.

He hadn’t just killed her body. He’d murdered the trust between them.

He pulled a balled fist to his mouth and bit the inside of his cheek. “This is going to sound so fake, but if I don’t say it now, I’ll never forgive myself.

“I admit I’ve destroyed this relationship, but I know where I went wrong, and I don’t need any secret code words to confirm who you are anymore. If you want to leave, I don’t blame you. I probably would do the same. But there’s something I have to tell you before you walk out of my life forever. I love you, Zoe Morgan. I fell in love with you in your dreams, and I fell even harder for you here in Realis.

“If you never want to speak to me again, I can respect that. All I ask is that you consider sticking around until the new Wæter Archelemental is put in place. You’re the only one who can talk to her. So, it’s not just me who needs you. The whales and the Wæters and the Wyldlings need you too.”

She turned her tear-streaked face to him. The blue returned to her eyes. Or maybe it was the tear-induced red that made them
appear
blue again.

After a long stare he couldn’t decipher, she pushed herself to her feet. She stepped toward him on wobbly legs and stopped right in front of him.

“I’m staying,” she whispered, iciness underlying her voice. Her aura shifted to dark green, and light orange hung on its corona. Unwavering determination. No blue in sight.

No ‘I love you too.’ Could he blame her after what he’d done?

The approach of a vehicle in the drive diverted his attention from the sucker punch her aura nailed him with. He looked past her shoulder to a beat-to-hell Toyota spitting gravel in its wake. Jack.

Gavin braced her upper arms. “There’s no making up for what I did to you. No penance harsh enough. But I will spend the rest of my days trying. I’d give my life for yours—sell my fucking soul to take back what happened. I love you more than I love myself, Zed.”

She met his eyes and nodded.

Fuck.

Jack slammed the car door and ran straight to Zoe. Gavin let her go and stepped out of the way, head lowered. Jack folded her into a tight embrace.

“God damn it, Zoe, you scared the motherfucking shit out of me.” He held her in an iron grip, arms crossed behind her back, fists balled, and head resting on her shoulder. Her arms dangled at her sides.

That did it. Gavin had to get out of there.

Holding back another onslaught of tears, he wandered inside to his bedroom, grabbed some clean clothes and got in the shower. Scarlet’s natural cloying cinnamon scent bled from his pores. His lips, tongue, and cock reeked of her. He closed his eyes as the water hit his back.

The sickening smell would never leave him.

* * * *

Zoe’s ears burned and eyes flooded as sobs wrestled their way out of her lungs. She couldn’t stand up any longer, so she let herself go. Jack accepted her weight without protest. He might have squeezed her a little harder. She was so numb, it was hard to tell.

“I gotcha, Peanut.” He choked out a laugh. “I used to call you that when you were a baby. And sometimes Beauregard, but only when your mom wasn’t listening.”

Something akin to laughter stuttered out of her too.

Jack held on tight. She needed a father now more than she ever had, and here he was. So, she let him take her pain. He seemed happy to accept it. And she couldn’t deny the warmth that moved between them. Father and daughter reunited after decades of separation. It felt like they’d never been apart.

God knew how long they stood in the driveway, her crying and him rubbing her back in soothing circles. Eventually, they went in the house. Gavin came down the hall in a fresh set of clothes, his black hair wet. His lips attempted a smile, but never fully committed. He scratched the back of his head and stuffed the other hand in his cargo pants pocket.

She couldn’t see clearly through her bleary eyes, but she was certain he didn’t meet her gaze. She blinked a few times, then reached out to him. He shuffled closer and took her hand. His was ice-cold. Same as hers.

How much blood loss could a heart endure before it finally gave up trying?

Jack pulled away and looked at Zoe, then Gavin. He pressed his lips together tightly but without judgment. The three of them exchanged glances. No one spoke.

Jack turned toward the fireplace, raised a brow, and snuck a look at Gavin. “Well, at least we know your Water’s working.”

A puddle of diluted blood saturated the beige carpet. Pale, medium, and vivid reds painted morbid shapes that would have given a crime scene investigator a cheap thrill. Broken bricks lay scattered around the hearth. The two halves of what used to be a wooden mantel formed a backwards ‘L’ with the horizontal piece on the carpet and the vertical one leaning against the remains of the fireplace.

Gavin had done…
that
to her?

Zoe couldn’t stop her shiver, so she touched the back of her head to try to cover it up. She didn’t want to make him feel worse than he already did.