Exit Stage Left

To Eva, who is always center stage in my life.

I’m warming up with my raisin face when Trevor appears in the doorway. So I do what I always do when I see him in the two classes we have together—I turn away and make it at Amanda instead. Scrunching up every muscle in my face is the last step in my routine of acting class warm-ups.

“That’s a nice look, Casey,” she says. “Show that one to Trevor and you’ll scare him off for good.”

I hold every muscle until it hurts, and then let it go, stretching my eyes and mouth as wide as possible. I might not be great at finishing pre-calc homework like Amanda, but no one can out-acting-class me. Once I rearrange my expression back to normal, I avoid Trevor’s gaze by checking out the front of the room where Ms. Sharp is busy arranging a stack of props that have zero relation to each other. Tiaras and cardboard-cutout clouds, a stuffed cat and a monocle. A giant furry monster glove falls to the floor. It’s typical Ms. Sharp.

“Trevor’s already seen my raisin face, by the way, and I think he
likes it,” I say to Amanda.

She squishes her lips together, which means she’s trying not to laugh at me. She might as well let it happen, since she’s only about 50 percent successful at keeping it in. I did this experiment back in middle school, where I tried to see how many times I could make her laugh in one day. I lost count somewhere after twenty.

“He was watching you through that whole solo you did in Choral Ensemble today,” she says.

“Him and everyone else. I was kind of standing in front of the entire room.”

“But he was
watching you
watching you. You know what I mean,” Amanda says, eyeing me like she expects me to lose all my resolve and go running back to him. Again.

I peek around her to see if Trevor’s doing any kind of watching me now. He’s not—just sitting there, doing something on his phone. Ms. Sharp lobs the stuffed cat at him, which is acting-teacher talk for
Get off your ass and help me with these props
.

I turn my attention back to Amanda. “He’s not looking at me now, which is exactly how I want it.”

“If you’re rehashing the latest episode of Casey and Trevor, I’m going to sit somewhere else. Because I’m not listening to this again.” Harrison drops his bag on the floor next to mine.

“Nothing to discuss, because nothing’s happening. We should talk about more important things, like auditions. More specifically, who else is trying out for Maria.” I eyeball pretty much every girl in the room, sizing up my competition for
The Sound of Music
. Kylee—too
quiet. Brianna—gorgeous voice, but not enough range. Rose—can belt out a number like no one’s business, but not so good at acting. Sophia—probably the next Meryl Streep, but sings like she’s underwater.

“I heard Gabby wants the role,” Harrison whispers as Ms. Sharp starts class. He pulls off his black-framed glasses and wipes the lenses with this pristine-looking microfiber cloth he keeps in his pocket. Not on his shirt, like every other guy on the planet.

“No way,” I say through my teeth. “She was bragging about that car lot commercial she booked just yesterday.”

Harrison shrugs, and a tiny flutter of nerves makes that veggie burger and mountain of salad I had for lunch twist in my stomach. I need this role, more than anyone else.

You see, I have an exact plan for my life, and it goes something like this:

        
1. Dazzle Ms. Sharp with my talent (and obvious commitment to theater).

        
2. Land lead in
The Sound of Music
because of number one, above.

        
3. Score recommendations from Ms. Sharp and one of her famous theater friends so fabulous that the New York College of Performing Arts will have no choice but to beg me to audition.

        
4. Nail audition and apply early decision to NYCPA.

        
5. Get email congratulating me on my acceptance and offering me a full scholarship, because NYCPA doesn’t come cheap
and I have zero in college savings.

        
6. Be amazing in college and end up on Broadway before I’m twenty-one.

        
7. Collect awards and accolades.

Basically, if I bomb this audition, my only other choice is going to community college. Or maybe waiting tables at some roadside diner in Nowheresville, Kansas.

And none of this involves, requires, or has anything to do with hot guys who have soft brown eyes. Like the one who’s looking at me right now.

“Casey Fitzgerald!” Ms. Sharp’s voice booms across the room. “You look lost in dreamland. Are there ponies? Maybe rainbows and unicorns and violins and
not paying attention
. So, if it isn’t too much trouble, would you please come back to the dismal real world and join your assigned partner for today’s exercise?”

Partner? I glance at Amanda, who’s got her desk pulled up next to Harrison’s. She shakes her head and points to her right . . . at Trevor. Who is looking at me again. Well, as best he can anyway, with that floppy blond hair hanging in his eyes.

“Greaaaat,” I say under my breath.

Harrison rolls his eyes in typical Harrison style. He has no concept of relationships and sort-of-relationships and how they end and why people who were in sort-of-relationships shouldn’t be doing acting class projects together.

“This century, Casey. Time is a-ticking,” Ms. Sharp says in the semi-deadly voice she usually reserves for the last week of rehearsals.

I scoop up my stuff and slide into the empty seat next to Trevor.

“Rainbows and ponies? More like practicing your Tony acceptance speech. I was in the front row, right?” he says with his usual killer smile.

And
this
is why I can’t be acting class partners with him. Because it’s completely confusing. That smile and those eyes and I want to push his hair out of his face so badly that I have to sit on my hands. I was
so
sure back in June that we couldn’t be together. So I called it off and spent the summer learning my audition song and memorizing an entire play (it doesn’t matter what Amanda says—it is too entirely normal to memorize every line of the show you’re auditioning for).

“Don’t you wish,” I mutter. Because I don’t trust my mouth to say anything else. Otherwise, I might find myself spending way too much time with him in the props room. Which kind of happened a lot last year. And the year before.

“So I was thinking—”

“What are we supposed to be doing?” I look past him toward Ms. Sharp, as if that’ll answer my question.

“Uh . . . creating character sketches to use for improv next week.” He leans over the notebook on his desk, hair in his eyes. Again.

“That’s easy.”

He looks up and gives me that smile. He could probably score a toothpaste commercial with it. (But it does
not
affect me—at all.) “For us. You probably have a list of characters for the whole year.”

I smile back. Stupid traitor face. I’m a professional—I should have complete control over my expressions. “Only for the next two
months,” I tell him. It would’ve been more, but Harrison and Kelly threatened to hold an intervention for my weekly method acting. I mean, come on, we go to an arts school. I operate on the assumption that we’re expected to be a little . . . different.

“Don’t tell me you’re quitting,” he says.

I wave a hand. “No way. I just have to rein it in a little until Kelly gets over me outing her crush on Ian Grimes when I was doing fortune-telling last week. And of course that brought up Harrison’s old grudge from my cat week freshman year, because he can’t let anything go.”

Trevor laughs. “That was classic.”

Yeah, it was, but then Harrison wouldn’t talk to me for two days. Apparently I scarred his reputation when he tripped over my “tail” and ended up crashing face-first into the freshman lockers. Anyway, just because my friends get embarrassed doesn’t mean I need to choose another route to dramatic success.

And at least Trevor appreciates it. It’s interesting how well we get along when we aren’t together.

Trevor reaches over and tugs my Save the Whales shirt. “This is cute. Are you some kind of activist this week?”

First, there is nothing even remotely cute about this T-shirt. It’s a size too big and is completely shapeless and came from Goodwill. Second, he’s flirting with me. Third, I’m having a hard time not flirting back.

“Vegetarian,” I say to my notebook. “So, characters. I think I’ll test-drive my Hollywood Diva next week.”

“Test-drive?” He laughs. “Case, you don’t even have a license.”

He called me Case. Which makes him laughing about my real, true, 100 percent genuine fear of driving not quite as bad.

I poke him with my pen. He grabs it and folds his fingers around my hand. Just as I’m wondering if a little distraction isn’t a good thing, Gabby slides up the aisle toward Ms. Sharp. And Trevor’s eyes flick over to her.

I pull my hand back and bite my lip to keep from saying anything. He looked at her for only a split second, but it was long enough to remind me of exactly why we can’t be together. I study his profile as he starts to write something, and try to figure out why it is I keep coming back to him. This is how it’s gone between us since my freshman and his sophomore year, when we were both cast as leads in
The Music Man
. He looks at me with those eyes and flashes that smile, I flirt, he flirts, we get together for a little while, he starts looking around, we fight, I break it off, he goes out with other girls, I start to regret ending things with him, and then he always comes back.

But not this time. This time, I refuse to go past the regretting-it part. I have too much on the line this year to be distracted by Trevor—the one who is so insanely good at distracting me—and all the drama that comes with us.