EXONERATION (INTERFERENCE) (15 page)

“I don’t think so,” I said, embarrassed to be talking about it in front of my father.

Dr. Emory came in a few minutes later and said, “So, what happened, Rebecca?”

“I was arguing with my husband, and he um, he pushed me back and I landed on the coffee table. I’m ten weeks pregnant.”             

“Does your husband make a habit of
pushing you? And, um, how about hitting you?” she said, looking at what must have been a bruise forming on my cheek.

“No.”

“Well, I’m going to try and hear the baby on my Doppler, but it’s a little early, so don’t be worried if we don’t hear anything. I’ve ordered an ultrasound and they’ll be coming over soon.”

She pulled up my shirt and my dad started to leave. 

“Daddy,” I reached out my hand to him, terrified to be alone.

She placed the wand very low on my belly. “Well, I think it may be a bit too early, as I suspected. We’ll have to wait for the ultrasound. So, are you going back to your husband? I really don’t think that would be wise. I can have our social worker come in and talk to you about your rights to protect your child from his father.”

I looked up at her and then over at my dad. It was time to stop lying to everyone. “I’m leaving Parker. That’s why he got angry, well, that’s part of the reason.” I took a deep breath, “The baby’s not…Parkers.”

I was waiting for my father to yell and shout, but he only squeezed my hand tightly and nodded.

“Oh. Well, then I guess it won’t be a problem. I’m going to suggest that you have someone accompany you if and when you have to see him again.”

“She won’t have to see him again. I’ll take care of that!” my father said, smiling at me.

“Okay, well, I’m not too concerned Rebecca. If you’re not bleeding, or cramping, then most likely everything’s fine. We’re just double checking with an ultrasound.”

“Okay.” She left and I faced my dad. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you again, Daddy. I love Shane. No matter what he’s done, I love him.  I can’t help it! Can I stay with you and mom for a while?
Just until I figure out what to do?”             

“You’re coming home?”

I nodded. “Is that okay? I won’t stay long.”

“Pumpkin, you can stay as long as you want, but…”

“But?”

“I just assumed you’d be going back to Shane.”

He didn’t even sound upset about it, but I didn’t have time to question him because my mom came running through the door.

“Rebecca, are you okay?
The baby?”

“I think so. They’re going to do an ultrasound to make sure.”

“Honey, what happened?”

I gave my mom a quick version of what Parker did, trying not to make him sound too terrible.

“But, why did he get so angry? He’s never been violent with you before, has he?”

“No, he’s never hit me or pushed me before. I made him angry. I told him I was leaving
him, and that…” I couldn’t say it. I took a deep breath, trying to re-gain the courage I’d had earlier when I told my dad the baby was Shane’s.

“You told him it’s not his baby,” she said, taking my hand.

I sighed and said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you. I know what you must think of me.”

“I think you’re a young woman that’s been deprived of her one true love. I know he took the money from your dad, Honey, but…and please forgive me, but I read some of the letters he wrote to you. I’m sorry, I know it was wrong. I just wanted to find out why he did it. I mean, I know how much he loved you. I could see it! I didn’t understand how he could do that to you. But he did. And, I just…I couldn’t let him hurt you again. We only let you see the one letter where he said goodbye. We thought it was the right thing to do.”

She pulled a large stack of envelopes out of her purse and handed them to me. “He was just as heartbroken as you were. I only read a few. I was trying to figure it out. But, when he took the money, I just couldn’t believe it. I figured if he could do that, then he didn’t deserve you. I’m sorry we kept them from you.”

“But, he said goodbye in the letter you gave me.”

“Yes, he was letting you go because he didn’t want you to wait an entire year for him to get out of jail.”

“I would have. I would have waited forever!” I cried.

“I know, that’s why I kept them from you all these years. But, even though he let you go in that letter, he begged you to wait for him in the very next one. I don’t think he knew what to do…or say. Maybe he felt guilty for taking the money.”

“I’ll be back,” my father said and walked out of the room.

My mom and I waited for the ultrasound and talked about what I was planning to do.

“I’m not ever going back to Parker. I think Daddy’s finally okay with that,” I gave her a half smile and she touched my bruised cheek.

“You never loved Parker like you love Shane.”

I shook my head no. “I never loved Parker. I was just…so lost. He was there for me when I had Shannon…and Shane wasn’t. I knew I’d never love anyone like I loved…love Shane, and if I couldn’t have him, then it didn’t matter who I was with. Parker was there. I realize now that it was unfair to him. He has every right to be angry with me. He thought the baby was his. I hurt him. I didn’t mean to.”

“Are you sure that it’s not?” my mom asked softly. “I mean, if he thought it could be, then…”

I was a grown woman and my mother already knew I’d committed adultery, so admitting that I’d actually slept with my husband was hardly a sin, “I slept with Parker one night a few months ago. But um, I used…I mean, I was…careful…that night.” I must have been bright red. I could feel the heat burning my cheeks.

“But you weren’t
careful
with Shane?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t plan on…being with Shane. It just happened. I love him,” I cried, sobbing in my mother’s arms.

She held me, letting me cry without any more questions.

“Rebecca!” Shane said standing over me.

My mother was hesitant, but she pulled back and stood by my dad, giving me the space she thought I needed. 

I was holding the letters in my hands and I was shaking as I looked up into Shane’s eyes.

“Oh my God, what happened?” he said, touching my cheek softly.

I looked over at my dad, afraid he’d charge after him, but he only gave me a small sad smile.

“I’m okay,” I managed, but I knew I wasn’t. I needed to hear that my baby was alright and then I needed to talk to Shane.

“Did…Parker…hit you?” he asked, looking shocked.

“He um, he was angry. I don’t blame him. He didn’t mean to push me. It wasn’t that big of a deal…”

“The hell it wasn’t! I’m going to kill…”

“Shane!” My father yelled.

He stopped and looked at my father, obviously still respectful of the elder man.

“You’ve already been in enough trouble. I’ll handle Parker. Trust me, he’ll be sorry!”

Shane nodded and turned back toward me. “What happened?”

“I told him I was leaving him and moving back in with my parents for a while.”

He thought about it for a minute and then said, “I knew he’d be angry when you left him, but I never thought he’d hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there! I’m sorry for so many things.”

“He didn’t hit me because I told him I was leaving him.” I looked up into his eyes and knew that even though he’d broken my heart, he deserved to know the truth.

“Then why?”

“He hit me because I told him…” I took a deep breath. “I told him, the baby was…yours.”

It was his turn to take a deep breath. He glanced back at my parents and then reached out and touched my cheek.

“They know,” I said.

He nodded. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I would have loved him or her no matter what, because it’s a part of you. But, it sure makes things easier. You’ll never have to see him again! I love you, Rebecca. Please come back to me! Please!”

“I um, I’m moving in with my parents. Please understand. I’m really confused right now.”

He sighed. He started to argue with me, but the ultrasound tech came in at that time, putting off our discussion for the time being.

“So, it says you’re approximately ten weeks pregnant, is that right?” the woman asked me.

I looked up at Shane and nodded. “About that; give or take a few days.”

“Okay, well, I think we’ll have to use the vaginal wand to get an accurate picture at this stage. If anyone needs to leave, now’s the time.”

My parent’s started to leave the room. “You can stay,” I said.

“I um, I don’t think I need to see…I mean, your mother and Shane can…”

I actually laughed at my dad. “You won’t see anything. Just stand over there and watch the monitor.”

The tech asked me to take off my clothes and get into a gown. I stepped into the bathroom and noticed blood on my underwear. I did the only thing I could think of, I yelled for Shane.

He was at my side in an instant. “What’s wrong?”

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “There’s blood…”

He helped me into the gown and then helped me back to the bed. He told my mother to go get the doctor. She looked
as white as a sheet, but she did what he asked.

“I’m bleeding…now.” I was starting to panic.

“Let’s have a look okay? Don’t panic. Let’s just see where it’s coming from. Can everyone step out, please?”

The tech
moved the machine from the doorway and headed out the door, followed by my parents. Shane looked at me, asking me with his eyes what he wanted me to do. I grabbed his hand and said, “No, stay. I need you…please.”

“I’m going to make an assumption that this is the baby’s father?” Dr. Emory said while donning gloves.

“Yes. This is Shane Ramsay. Shane, this is Dr. Emory,” I managed through a few more tears, terrified I’d lost my baby.

“Oh, Dr.
Ramsay, I thought I recognized you. You set my dog’s leg when he ran out into the street and got hit by a car. Great job! Okay, let’s see what’s going on.” She looked at the blood in my underwear and gently probed my vagina, “It doesn’t appear to be too worrisome. It could just be from my earlier exam. Let’s see the ultrasound.”

She called everyone back in and had it been under different circumstances I might have laughed out loud at my father. He was staring at the wall, refusing to even look my way when the tech pulled out the vaginal probe.

Dr. Emory actually inserted the wand, guiding the probe up toward my cervix. She watched the screen for a few minutes and then said, “Everything looks fine.”

I heard sighs throughout the room, including one from myself. I let up on the death grip I had on Shane’s hand and laid my head back on the pillow, thanking God that I was still pregnant.

“So, is this a grandson or another beautiful granddaughter?” my father asked.

“It’s a little too early to tell. Give it another five to ten weeks or so, and then I can tell you.”

“I don’t want to know,” Shane said.

“You don’t?” I asked.
             

“No. It doesn’t matter. A healthy baby is all I care about.
And a healthy mom. Promise me you’ll stay away from Parker!”

“I will.
I told you, I’m going home.”

He sighed. “Okay. That may not be my first choice, but it’s better than you
and Shannon going back to him.”

The Forbidden Stairs

I was able to leave the hospital but was told to take it easy for the next couple of days. Shane drove me to my parents’ home while my dad and mom followed us in their cars.

I was quiet on the ride home. I wanted so badly to be able to tell Shane how much I loved him, but the money he took to leave me kept my feelings bottled inside. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t get over the fact that he took the money.

“When you’re feeling up to it, we really need to talk,” Shane said as he pulled into the driveway.

I assumed he was finally going to fess up about the money, but I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. I nodded. I was still holding the letters in my hand, refusing to let them go.

He looked down at the letters and said, “There were a lot more than that, Rebecca. I wrote at least one letter a day, sometimes more for over nine months.” He touched my cheek and leaned over to kiss me, but I shook my head no.

“I need some time, okay?”

“What’s going to happen with us?” he asked with his heart on his sleeve.

“I don’t know. But, I swear I’ll never keep your children from you. You’re a good father, Shane. Shannon needs you, and so will this baby.”

“Do you need me?”

“I need…” I looked down. “I need to get to bed.
Doctor’s orders.”

He smiled and got out of the car. He walked me inside but stopped at the bottom of the stairs.
The forbidden stairs.
I actually laughed as he stared at the staircase like it was Mount Everest and he had two broken legs.