Expecting a Christmas Miracle (14 page)

She began to see where Jadon’s bout of reminiscing was going. “Do you think that’s why Jack went a little wild when he was older? Because he was always competing for your parents’ attention?”

Jadon tucked his hands in his pockets and lifted a shoulder. “I imagine that could be one theory. Despite
my small size, and being delayed as a baby, doing all the normal milestones of sitting, crawling, walking and so on, I always did well in school.”

“Better than Jack?” she guessed.

He nodded. “Yeah. It wasn’t that Jack wasn’t smart, but he certainly didn’t try as hard.”

“So you feel guilty? Like it was your fault your parents paid too much attention to you and not enough to Jack?” she asked, already suspecting the answer.

“Isn’t it?” he countered. “Not that I did it on purpose, obviously, but it’s something I always wonder about. Let’s face it, if I had been the older twin, and Jack the younger, smaller twin, don’t you think it’s possible our lives would have been different?”

She swallowed hard, hating to admit he might have a point. No wonder he’d been so adamant that she pay attention to Grace, too, during Gretchen’s illness. Even now, despite his reassurances otherwise, he was worried that history might repeat itself with Grace and Gretchen.

Glancing down at Grace, who’d fallen asleep, Alyssa traced the tip of her index finger over her daughter’s dainty features, and vowed not to let that happen.

“At least now that we know, we won’t make the same mistake as parents,” she said slowly.

Jadon didn’t answer as she stood and placed the sleeping Grace back into her isolette.

“I know you said you needed time,” Jadon said in a low voice. “But I want you to know the offer of staying with me, at least for a while, is still open. I’m concerned about your ability to manage caring for the twins without help.”

Alyssa wavered. He was being the responsible one
again. Jadon had opened up about himself, more than he ever had. Which offered some hope. Yet she knew, once she took that step of going home with him, it would be very hard to go back.

Should she fight for her love? Or would that be a constant uphill battle? And was she strong enough to handle the impact of Jack’s illness on top of caring for Grace and Gretchen?

“At least think about it,” Jadon advised. “I’m working night shift tonight and tomorrow night, so it’s not as if I’ll be there much.”

Reassuring her he wouldn’t be there much didn’t sound promising. Were they back to being parents in name only? Ironic that she’d already come to feel as if his house was a home.

Their home.

She missed Jadon. And she missed her lopsided Charlie Brown Christmas tree. She needed to take a chance, to see if she could somehow bridge the gap between them.

“All right,” she agreed. “But only as a trial to see how well I can manage with the girls.”

A
LYSSA
second-guessed her decision several times over as she followed Jadon’s car through the streets to his house.

Yet when she entered the living room, surprised to find a variety of brand-new Christmas decorations, including a wreath over the fireplace, a nativity scene and tiny twinkling lights strung around the living-room windows, she realized how wonderful it felt to be there with him.

“Here, I’ll take your coat,” Jadon said, treating her as a guest rather than someone who might be living there. She hid a pang of disappointment.

“Thanks.” She crossed over to her lopsided Charlie Brown Christmas tree and gave the drooping branches a welcoming pat. “I see you didn’t toss him out for a bigger, better tree,” she observed. “And you’ve been giving him water.”

“Of course I’ve been giving him water. The needles are already starting to fall off. They don’t need another excuse.”

She smiled, knowing he was right. The poor tree would be lucky to last until the holiday.

“So why didn’t you replace him, then?”

“Because this tree obviously held a special place in your heart, and that was more important than how the room looked.”

A warm feeling filled her chest. Jadon did care. And if he cared, maybe he could learn to love. He certainly understood her better than she’d thought.

“I…uh, put all the baby stuff into the bedroom,” Jadon said, coming up to stand beside her.

Surprised, she glanced up at him. “You did?”

He nodded and she brushed past him, filling her senses with his musky scent as she went over to investigate. In the doorway of the spare bedroom she stopped and stared, realizing he’d done far more than simply set up the baby things.

He’d fully decorated the entire nursery.

“Oh, my,” she whispered, her heart melting at the obvious care and concern Jadon had put into every detail. Not only did he have the two cribs set up, and the dressers with changing tables across their tops strategically placed near each one, but he’d painted the walls a soft pink, had hung a border of tiny pink and white ballerina slippers around the entire room, and displayed two portraits of ballerinas on the walls above each crib. In one corner of the room he’d set a gleaming wooden rocker with comfy pink cushions, the perfect spot to rock and nurse the babies.

Completely overwhelmed, she didn’t know what to say. The Christmas decorations were special, but this additional surprise was beyond words. Maybe he didn’t talk about his feelings much, but his actions had definitely shown them. “Jadon, this is absolutely beautiful.”

His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I hoped you’d
like it. And don’t worry about the sleeping arrangements. I’d planned on putting a sleeper sofa into my office anyway, so I can sleep on the living-room sofa until it’s delivered. In the meantime, you can have the bedroom.”

Sleeping arrangements? She glanced at him, but he avoided direct eye contact, confirming her suspicions. He’d obviously planned on the two of them sharing the master bedroom.

Because he cared about her? Or was starting to love her?

Swallowing hard, she simply nodded, knowing she still wanted to share a bedroom with him, badly.

“So this is what you were working on while I was in the hospital,” she guessed, changing the subject to something safer. No wonder he’d looked so awful those few days, as if he hadn’t had any sleep. By the extent of the completed nursery, he couldn’t have slept much if at all. “Not just the Christmas decorations, but the nursery, too.”

“Yeah. I wanted it all to be a surprise.” He looked uncomfortable for a few moments, then said, “I’m going to take a short nap as I’m working tonight.”

“Of course. Use the bedroom. Don’t argue,” she interjected, as he opened his mouth to do just that. “It’s going to be difficult enough for you to sleep in the middle of the day, especially with how sunny it is, without trying to do that in the middle of the living room.”

He hesitated, but then acquiesced, murmuring, “Thanks,” as he headed into the bedroom, gently closing the door behind him.

Alyssa felt curiously lonely without Jadon’s presence. In fact, suddenly she felt very much like the guest and not someone who belonged here. She tried to rest for a bit in the living room, thrilled at the festive atmosphere, but then found herself going back into the nursery and picking up one of the matching pink elephants as she settled into the rocking chair. It was all too easy to imagine how cozy things would be once the girls came home.

But this arrangement was only temporary, wasn’t it?

They couldn’t just simply share parenting duties and nothing else. A family in name only? No, it would never work.

She loved him too much.

And she wanted a happy family. And Jadon’s love, forever. She wanted it all.

For the first time in months, since the day she’d discovered she was pregnant and had been unable to get in touch with Jadon, she allowed tears to slip down her cheeks.

Her heart and soul ached for what she’d never have.

Jadon couldn’t sleep. Sleeping in the middle of the day had never been easy for him but, with everything seemingly falling apart around him, rest was more elusive than ever.

He stared at the ceiling over his bed, trying not to relive the moment when Alyssa had seen the nursery, her eyes lighting up with excitement and pleasure.

He’d once hoped she’d feel as if she belonged here. With him. With the girls, too.

Marriage was such a huge step. One he hadn’t planned on taking. Alyssa deserved marriage, full commitment. Because they’d made a family with Grace and Gretchen.

Yet Jack was family, too. His brother.

His cell phone rang, startling him badly, making him swear under his breath at how he’d forgotten to silence the ringer as he fumbled in his discarded clothes for the instrument.

His stomach twisted when he realized the caller was his mother. “Mom? What’s wrong? Jack can’t possibly be out of the hospital already?”

“No, nothing is wrong,” she quickly assured him. “Ah, actually, we’re here to see you.”

“Here? In Cedar Bluff?” Jadon shot out of bed, frantically searching for his pants, imagining his parents were right now standing outside his front door.

“Yes, we’re at a restaurant on Main Street. What’s it called, Josh?” she asked his father. “Oh, yes, The Spinnaker. The food was excellent.”

He tugged on his pants, cradling the phone between his shoulder and his ear, hardly able to believe his parents had shown up in Cedar Bluff. “Ah, okay. That’s not far away.”

“We were hoping we could come to your house and then visit the babies, Grace and Gretchen.”

Momentarily closing his eyes, he let out a soundless sigh. Of course they wanted to visit the babies. He couldn’t blame them. But he needed to talk to Alyssa about this, too. So much for keeping his two families separate. “Why don’t you come here first to meet Alyssa?”

“That would be nice,” his mother agreed, sounding excited.

He gave her directions that she repeated for his father. He hung up and sank down onto the edge of his
bed, running his fingers nervously through his hair. He was nervous. What would Alyssa think?

His parents hadn’t brought Jack, but what if Jack discovered the news about the twins? He’d want to see them, too.

There was no use dwelling on all the complications. He had to deal with his parents first.

He pulled himself together and finished getting dressed. He opened his bedroom door and hesitated, seeing the nursery door was still ajar, and went with his instincts to search for Alyssa in there.

He saw her sitting in the rocking chair, clutching one of the pink elephants to her chest, tears glistening in streaks down her cheeks.

“Alyssa? What’s wrong?” Alarmed, he crossed the room to kneel beside her.

“Nothing. Everything.” She swiped at her eyes, offering a pathetic attempt at a smile.

He couldn’t stand it. Rising to his feet, he took her hand and drew her up and into his arms. “Shh, it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine.”

She buried her face against his chest, shaking her head as if she disagreed with him.

“Yes, it will. I promise.” He kissed the top of her head, smoothing a hand down her back, offering comfort in the only way he knew how. He wasn’t sure how he’d fix it, but he wanted to find a way. For her.

Slowly the tension eased out of her body and she melted against him in a way that caused his own body to harden in awareness. Knowing that intimacy was impossible for more reasons than just one, he forced himself to ignore the discomfort.

The doorbell pealed. Alyssa lifted her head from his chest.

“Someone’s here,” she said, rubbing her face as if to erase the evidence of her tears.

“My parents.”

“Your parents?” Her gaze widened in shock.

“I’ll get rid of them if you want me to.”

Just that quickly, the shocked surprise turned into exasperation. She swiped the dampness from her face. “They’re your parents. You can’t just get rid of them. Not when they’ve come all this way to see you.”

Still unsure, he nodded. Maybe one, slightly dysfunctional family was better than trying to divide his time between two families? There was only one way to find out. He held out his hand. “Come on, I’d like to introduce you.”

She trustingly placed her hand in his. “I thought they were divorced?” she asked as they walked into the living room.

“They are, but I think maybe they’re working on getting back together.” Jadon still was a little surprised by that revelation himself. The absence of a wedding ring on his dad’s hand and the way he seemed to be renewing a relationship with his mother had convinced him his dad had ditched his second wife. Or, more likely, she’d ditched him.

He opened the front door to find his parents anxiously waiting on the front porch. “Come on in, Mom. Dad.”

His parents entered the house, their gazes immediately seeking Alyssa, who stood near the center of the living room.

“Alyssa, these are my parents, Janet and Josh Reichert,” he said, performing the introductions. “Mom, Dad, this is Alyssa Knight.”

Alyssa’s tremulous smile betrayed her nerves. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said.

“It’s so nice to meet you, too.” His mother wasn’t shy, but crossed right over to envelop Alyssa in an enthusiastic hug. “We’re so glad you and Jadon found each other. And we just can’t wait to see the babies. Twin girls.”

Alyssa’s smile faltered a little as she glanced over at Jadon, her brow raised questioningly. He tried to reassure her with his gaze that the decision was hers.

He’d abide by her wishes.

Alyssa found herself immediately warming to Jadon’s parents. They were both so nice and friendly it was difficult not to like them.

And as they chatted, she began to hope that the fact Jadon had told his parents about the girls meant he was planning a future together.

“Of course you’re welcome to see the babies,” she told them.

They all climbed into Jadon’s car, talking as he negotiated the short distance to Cedar Bluff Hospital, the brown building standing out starkly against the white snow. She told his parents about the labor and delivery, having to go back and repeat the entire story about how she’d fallen into Lake Michigan, which had sent her into early labor. They were horrified and thankful everyone was all right.

Inside the hospital, Jadon’s parents commented
about how friendly the staff were when they were constantly greeted by people she and Jadon knew.

“That’s why I like it here so much,” Jadon explained to his parents. “It’s like everyone is part of a family.”

Up in the nursery, Jadon’s mother started crying when she saw the babies. Jadon’s dad held her with a sturdy arm around her shoulders and Alyssa’s, though his own eyes seemed a bit moist as he gazed down at the two isolettes holding Grace and Gretchen.

“They’re just beautiful,” Janet said, reaching over to give Alyssa another hug as she sniffled loudly. “My granddaughters.”

“Would you both like to hold them?” she offered, feeling very much like a proper daughter-in-law.

When they both nodded, she fetched warm blankets and wrapped Grace and then Gretchen, handing one baby to each of Jadon’s parents. They settled into the two rockers, rapt expressions of sheer wonder on their faces.

“Thank you,” Jadon murmured as they stood back, allowing his parents some time with the babies.

“For what?”

“Allowing them to visit.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure.”

She stared at him, realizing he would truly have stood by whatever decision she’d made. If she’d thought the situation would bring too much stress, he would have turned them away. Love shone from his eyes and she realized that with Jadon actions spoke much louder than words.

He’d shown her how much he cared in everything he’d done for her. Why had she been so hung up on the words?

He was offering her the family she’d always wanted.

Maybe it wasn’t perfect, she knew there would be challenges to face with Jadon’s twin brother, Jack, but did she really have anything to complain about? No family was completely perfect, and wasn’t it their flaws, along with all the love and laughter, that made the whole package?

And worrying about illnesses of any kind, emotional disturbances, cancer, pick-the-disease-of-your-choice was ridiculous. There was no predicting the future. There was no point to living your life in fear.

“Jadon, I would never keep you or your family away from the girls. Ever.”

“Really?” He didn’t look sure.

“Yes. And I hope someday you’ll allow us to be a part of your family, too.”

Instead of closing down his emotions, a glimpse of hopeful surprise gleamed in his eyes. And she understood he didn’t want to be the cause of distress, so she needed to convince him that when you loved someone, you made sacrifices for them.

Wasn’t that what Jadon had done with Jack? He’d made many sacrifices, she was sure.

None of this was Jadon’s fault. He’d done the best he could, considering the difficult circumstances.

“Alyssa, your girls are the most beautiful babies in the entire nursery,” his mother gushed. “Don’t you think so, Josh?”