Expose' (Born Bratva Book 3) (11 page)

“
Lyubov moya! Lyubov moya!”
I gasp over and over, tears streaming down my face as he breaks through and bottoms out inside me in a single, powerful stroke.

He wraps his hand tightly around my neck and presses his forehead to mine, then begins to thrust in earnest. “Someday, I’ll tell you what it means. Tonight, I’ll show you.”

Kodiak

I wake up and stretch like a cat, enjoying the familiar ache of well-sexed muscles after a long night of fucking.
Mmmm, a long, satisfying night with my little virgin kitten. So, so good. I can still taste her on my tongue, still smell her arousal, still feel her--
I bolt upright in bed and take in my surroundings before I untangle my legs from the sheets. My fist crashes down on the mattress and I roar in frustration when I see the empty space next to me.

My woman isn’t in my bed, and there will be hell to pay.

I knew you were a fucking runner, Logan. I’m setting this shit straight now.
I toss around the idea of calling her to see where she is but decide it’s better to catch her off guard. Seeing her, face to face, will send a message of just how serious I am. It’s real fucking easy to deal with somebody over the phone, but face to face is when shit gets fucking real.

I light a cigarette and run a hand through my hair in exasperation.
Shit.
The day is only getting started. I push the intercom button and call down for coffee and a bagel with cream cheese, something quick I can eat on the run. It may be time to have another talk with the professor but that can be accomplished over the phone. You know, just a friendly call to remind him of my expectations where Logan is concerned.

I step into the shower and allow the water to wash over me as I consider last night and all that it means. I never considered Logan being a virgin because I’ve never encountered one before. All things considered, I won’t be dealing with any other women at all now—unless it’s business.

Logan doesn’t realize it yet but she took things to a whole new level by giving me her virginity last night, and by sleeping next to me afterwards – right up until she fucking left. I can feel myself getting angry as I hurry up and wash my hair and soap down my body. Suddenly the thought occurs to me that she may not be in her dorm at all. What if she couldn’t handle being with me that way, what if she left and went back home?
Fuck.
A feeling I’m not accustomed to courses through my gut and straight to my heart—fear.

Growing up Bratva, I’ve faced damn near everything you could imagine. I’ve had guns pulled on me, the shit kicked out of me, and I’ve been threatened with doing hard time, but never have I felt the terror I feel right now at the thought of losing Logan.

I get out of the shower and throw on clothes, grab the coffee I asked the maid to put in my travel cup, leave the bagel because who can fucking eat anyway, and head out the door to get my woman. As usual, Lukyan is standing at the car with his arms folded across his massive chest. That’s a good thing because today may just be a day I need to put my bodyguard to work.

Logan

I’d gotten up early this morning flooded with a tsunami of thoughts. It felt pretty overwhelming and I didn’t want to bother Kodiak, so I quietly snuck out. I suppose part of me snuck out to escape the reality of what happened last night, but I’m the queen of denial when I don’t want to think about something that’s troubling me—so denial it is. I even came up with the perfect avoidance behavior to keep me occupied and out of Kodiak’s reach today – I’m huddled in the library, studying…and continuing to do a little research on the world of Bratva. Of course, my mind wanders to the events of last night.

The evening had been so intense with meeting his family and mingling with the Bratva elite. I’m glad that hurdle is out of the way. Not being accustomed to one night stands, I hadn’t been prepared with clothes for the next day, so I slipped out early this morning and returned to my dorm. Kodiak had looked so peaceful sleeping, among other things—things like hot, sexy, and dangerous. Even in his sleep the man looks like trouble.

A quick trip to the dorm gave me enough time to take a shower -- a necessity so I could wash the scent of his cologne from my body – if I don’t, I won’t be able to think of anything but him all day. But who am I kidding? He’s all I’m thinking about anyway.

This is all new to me, being attracted to someone sexually. It’s a lot to take in and I need some time to myself to deal. And speaking of dealing, I guess I have a new job after all, since Kodiak pretty much announced it to his mother last night. I’ve tried to resist his efforts to bring me on board at the gambling house, but he’s relentless and I do need the money. And the chance to observe the Bratva elite in their own element is just too tempting to pass up.

Paying for a cab hadn’t been in my budget but the situation demanded it, so there went my coffee money for the week. It’s a feeling I’ve become accustomed to, being responsible. Doing things like budgeting are second nature to me. I grew up knowing that if I didn’t take care of myself, no one else would. I remember my mother’s arms wrapped around me as a child when she was on a good drunk. “Don’t be like me, princess. Don’t ever depend on a man to take care of you. Get out, get out as soon as you can so you won’t be your mother’s daughter.”

The bitter times far outweighed the few heartfelt conversations we had – not that she remembered any of them. Instead of talking about my day at school or what movie we wanted to see that weekend, I was stepping over her drunk body and making sure she didn’t choke on her own vomit. Perhaps my alcoholic mother has been my greatest inspiration because sometimes you learn more from a bad example than a good one. I did exactly what she said: I got out… because deep down inside, I knew she was right.

I don’t hear from my parents these days and they don’t hear from me. But I’m sure they’ll get in touch when they need money – as if I have any to give them. It occurs to me that Kodiak’s family is everything that mine isn’t. They take care of their own. They’re loyal. They honor their commitments. They have each other’s back. They enjoy each other’s company. Hell, they love each other. These Russian gangsters have forged closer family ties than my suburban, middle-class family.

I can’t stop thinking about sleeping with Kodiak last night. It isn’t even so much that I lost my virginity since I made the decision to give that part of me to him. I am, however, worried about how it will change things between us. I don’t know what this means for us. I wonder if I’ve unexpectedly found a kindred spirit, someone who can relate to the pain and secrets I’ve hidden from the world.

I think Kodiak has secrets too. He seems happy with his family but there is a darkness within him that feels different from the other members of the Glazov family. He is one of them and yet he is different. I don’t know what’s causing the turmoil that lies just beneath the impassive mask he wears in public. True to my nature, it just makes me all the more curious about what it is he’s hiding.

Just when he shows me a moment of warmth, I can almost feel it as he realizes it and catches himself. Then those black eyes go cold again and I am once again dealing with the coldhearted Bratva male that I first met. But no matter how much he tries to freeze me out, all it takes is one look across a crowded ballroom and everyone else just disappears and it’s just the two of us. What I tried to tell him last night is still true – we’re from different worlds and it could never work. I don’t think Kodiak is the kind of man who’ll listen to common sense. Knowing that Glazov is making him watch my every move takes the responsibility out of my hands and puts the proverbial ball in Kodiak’s court. It remains to be seen just how serious he is about carrying out his father’s orders.

All of these thoughts fill my head as I stare blankly at the book in my lap. I’m curled up on a couch in the corner of the library’s main room that opens off of the lobby. I’ve been perusing the archives on doctoral dissertations and investigative journalism studies. My laptop is on a nearby table and is open to a history of Russian mafia. It’s interesting stuff, to say the least. Apparently, there has been media speculation over the years about whether Kodiak is really Glazov’s son, but no one has been able to confirm anything.

My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice and I look up to see Kodiak’s mother and Katrina – the woman I met last night who stood up for me against her husband, Novak. Once again I can’t help but wonder what in the world she sees in Novak. Opposites really do attract, I guess.

“Logan, what a coincidence seeing you here,” Kodiak’s mother says in her smooth, sultry voice.

I address her first. “Mrs. Glazov, what a pleasant surprise to see you again. You, too, Katrina.”

“Please, dear, just Kathleen will do,” she demurs. “You’ll make me feel old.”

“Oh, no. No, I-I didn’t…”

Mrs. Glazov smiles serenely at me and I realize she’s the same caring person she was last night, so it wasn’t just an act for the company she was entertaining. It’s a relief to know that she seems to accept Kodiak’s pursuit of me. But I’m not naïve enough to think she isn’t a force to be reckoned with. It’s no secret that she holds tremendous power in the Bratva world. It takes a strong woman to be with a Glazov man and I see that strength in both of these women. I resist the urge to chuckle as I think to myself that it must catch people off guard when she goes all
Bratva bitch
on them. I’ve heard some stories and the woman is fierce.

“So, what are you doing here?” she asks brightly.

“Oh, just homework, you know… college stuff.”

“Well, it’s wonderful to see you, dear. Now, I don’t want to interrupt you from your studies so this won’t take long. My son has made it pretty clear he’s quite smitten with you. I look forward to seeing more of you. So we just wanted to say hello and perhaps set up a luncheon date with you.”

“I’d love that.” I blush at her mention of Kodiak and am surprised when I realize that I mean what I’m saying. I don’t feel the awkward nervousness around these two women that I feel around the Bratva men. I walk a few steps over to the table where my backpack and open laptop are spread out. I close the laptop quickly and glance up to find Katrina’s eyes fixed on me.
Shit, shit, shit!
I find a slip of paper and write down the dorm pay phone number, trying to hide how my hand is trembling. A tinge of embarrassment goes through me as I explain it. “That’s the number to my dorm. I don’t have a cell phone, um, everything goes for school. You know, books and stuff.”

“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Personally, I think it’s admirable that you’re willing to sacrifice for a higher education. It takes grit to make your own way in this world, but I think you may know that already. I’ll call you soon and I’m looking forward to it, dear.”

Her cell phone rings and she glances at the screen, and then at Katrina with a smile and an eye roll. She leans in and lightly kisses both of my cheeks, then turns back toward the lobby as she takes the call.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I hear her say as Katrina kisses my cheeks with more promises of phone calls and lunch soon. As the two women walk away, I can’t help but marvel that I think I just made my first female friends since entering college.