“Hey, what’s up?” she answered brightly.
“Can I stay at your place tonight? I just need some time
to think.” Horns blared as I raced across the street, desperate to get as far
away from my building as possible.
Sam was silent for a moment. “Of course. Is everything
okay?”
“Not really,” I said as I hailed a cab. “Dallon and I
had a fight and I’m worried it’s not going to work.”
“What happened?”
The cab stopped and I gave him Dallon’s address before
answering. “It’s kind of hard to explain, Sam. I’m going to grab clothes and
then head over. Will you be home?”
“Not until late. Just call and I’ll buzz you in. Make
yourself at home and we’ll talk when I get home. OK?”
“Thanks, Sam. You’re a life saver.”
My heart was beating rapidly as the cab pulled up at
Dallon’s. I knew he wouldn’t be home, but I still felt nervous about sneaking around
his place. I didn’t look at the security guard as I passed, scanned my access
card for the top floor and then waited in agony for the elevator to arrive. It
took me less than five minutes to pack everything I needed. Like I had when I’d
moved out of my hole, I threw multiple items in my bag before grabbing all my
cosmetics from the bathroom.
I waited until I was in the next cab before texting
Dallon that Arnold didn’t have to pick me up. Then I turned my cell off and
pulled my legs up to my chest.
***
Sam and Luke’s apartment had a similar setup to our old
one, but everything was nicer. The appliances were stainless steel and the
counters granite. All our furniture had been Sam’s, so it was like being in a
renovated version of our old place with someone else’s furniture thrown in.
There were pictures of Sam and Luke everywhere: on the mantle above the
fireplace, on bookshelves, on the kitchen counter, and in the hallway leading
to the bedrooms. My stomach churned thinking about how normal their
relationship was to mine.
Luke was the first to get home, and the first thing he
did was order us a pizza. I was already in a pair of sweats and a long sleeved
shirt and watching TV on the couch. Luke grabbed us both a beer before joining
me.
“You okay?” he asked and when I nodded, left it at that,
knowing I was going to be drilled by Sam later.
Curiosity was getting the best of me, so I turned my
cell back on, curious to see if there would be any messages. There were a few
missed calls which had all gone straight to voicemail, and one text message.
Where did you go? Please talk to me.
I didn’t respond. Talking to Dallon would be a bad move
right now. I needed some time to think about what I wanted. I was still angry,
and I didn’t want to do anything rash.
Sam arrived just in time for pizza, and we ate and
watched
The Simpsons
before she whisked me into their study to set up
the air mattress. The first thing she did after closing the door behind us was
pull me into a hug.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Everything has
just moved so fast and I need time away to think.”
I helped Sam pull the air mattress off the top shelf of
the closet and we sat on the ground beside it as it inflated. This trusty
mattress had been a bed for more than one drunken friend during our University
years, and suddenly I yearned for easier times before when life had been about
meeting new friends.
“What happened exactly?” Sam asked, breaking my
thoughts.
Explaining in person wasn’t going to be any easier
because there was no way I could get into what Dallon was about and what had
transpired the night before. No matter how angry or hurt I was, I would never
betray him like that. Revealing something like that about myself to Sam was
also not a possibility.
“It’s just so intense between us,” I said carefully. “I
think I want to get my own place.”
“What changed?”
“Dallon wanted to meet for lunch, but then my boss asked
me to go, so I texted Dallon to let him know I couldn’t. BUT, he’d decided to
surprise me with a bouquet of roses and we ran into him in the elevator.”
Sam frowned, confused. “So he was mad about that?”
I sighed. “Well, not exactly. He asked Ren if he could
have a minute to talk to me alone, and then he tried to prevent me from going.”
Sam covered her mouth with her hands. “I would have
killed him.”
“I almost did.”
“So I was right about him being controlling.”
You have no idea
. “I was
mortified, Sam. He said he didn’t like the way Ren looks at me. I got angry and
asked if he thought Ren liking me was the reason I got hired, and he didn’t
deny it! Later he texted that he doesn’t think it was the
only
reason.
That was his idea of an apology.”
Sam shook her head in disbelief. “What a pompous
douche.”
I smiled, remembering my nickname for him. King Douche. He’d
earned it again.
“Meanwhile, we ran into his old flame last night, and he
was pretty friendly toward her but doesn’t see anything wrong with that.” My
cheeks heated slightly, knowing I hadn’t told Sam the whole truth, but it was
as close as I could get.
“He likes you, Amy, so don’t worry about that,” Sam
said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “And he isn’t the first man to be
possessive, but he needs to learn how to control it. Doesn’t he understand that
he could affect your job? It’s your
job
.”
I could tell Sam was thinking about what she’d do if
someone were to embarrass her like that at her work. Sam’s career was one of
the most important things in her life, more important than Luke, I suspected.
“It’s also incredibly insulting that he implied you
didn’t get the job on your own merit,” she added, getting riled up again.
“Oh, I know,” I said, focusing on the expanding
mattress. “That’s why I need time. He said I was talented, yet he jumped to
this conclusion. Now I’m starting to worry he was right. I mean, does it make
sense a stranger would take such an interest in my future? And he did ask me
for lunch.”
Sam grasped my shoulders. “Don’t let an insecure man
make you feel this way. You
are
talented. Your boss—Ren—picked up on
that and hired you for that reason.” She shook her head angrily. “First you
were feeling like Dallon was the one with everything to offer, and now that
you’ve gotten this great opportunity, he’s threatening to wreck it by making
you feel like you got it for the wrong reasons.”
Tears filled my eyes again. “This job… It means a lot to
me. I feel like I’ve finally got a goal, like I’ve finally figured out what I
should do with my life and I can make something of myself.” I hesitated before
adding, “My parents actually said they’re proud of me.”
“Exactly. Don’t let him ruin that for you. You’re better
than that.”
“I think I gave him the wrong impression of who I am,” I
said quietly.
“What do you mean?” Sam turned off the mattress pump and
looked at me curiously. Suddenly the room felt very silent. I scrambled to
think of a way to explain it.
“Dallon has called all the shots. Everything he’s
wanted, he’s gotten. I think it’s led him to believe that I’ll do whatever he
wants.” I blushed and continued quickly, “Even when it comes to my work life.”
Sam smiled a half-smile. “Then there’s only one thing
you can do to fix that: don’t let him.”
I nodded. I’d already made that decision by coming here,
but Sam’s confirmation gave me the courage I needed.
After putting sheets on the bed, we returned to the
living room where Luke was now watching baseball. I took my phone out of my
purse and re-read Dallon’s message, suddenly feeling guilty for letting him
worry.
“I’ll just tell him I’m all right but I need some time,”
I told Sam.
She didn’t look impressed. “Fine. And then turn off your
phone.”
I texted back a quick message and hit send, hearing the
resulting beep as if his phone were in the room with me.
Then there was a knock on the door.
Sam and I looked at each other, and a slow, awkward
smile spread across her face. I nodded, and she opened the door to reveal
Dallon looking grave, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
Dallon King and his boundary issues.
“Don’t come in, I’ll go out,” I said and joined him in
the hall, pulling the door closed behind me. I stalked away down the hall and
into the staircase so we couldn’t be overheard. Spun around to face him, arms
crossed.
“What are you doing here, Dallon?”
“It’s nice to see you too,” he said dryly. “I was
worried about you. Or is that not allowed?”
“Worried about me or worried about what I’m doing?”
“It’s the same thing,” he said, glaring as if offended.
I put my hands on my hips. “No, it’s not. You said that
the lines are blurred for you. You can’t control me in real life, Dallon. It’s
my life. It’s my job.”
“I know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I know I
went too far. After our fight last night, I thought you might run.” He paused.
“I’m sorry for what I said.”
“I’m not.”
He stiffened. “Why not?”
“Because it was the truth. It was what you really
thought.”
He swallowed hard.
“How did you find me?”
He had the grace to look guilty. “Your cell. I installed
GPS software on it.”
“Of course.” I closed my eyes briefly. This was my
fault. I’d let this happen. By giving him ultimate control over me, I’d let him
believe I was his property.
“I wanted to take care of you. To make sure you’re
safe.”
“That’s not the way to do it.” I leaned back against the
cement wall, putting my hands behind me. “This past week has been amazing and
you’re very important to me.”
His eyes began to move back and forth as he anticipated
what I was going to say next.
“But I have to look out for me right now. I finally got
a job, Dallon. I’m figuring out what I want to do and I can’t let anything come
between that.” I took a deep breath. “Even you.”
“What are you saying?”
The sudden fear in his eyes threw me, and I looked down
at my feet. I couldn’t believe I was actually saying these words.
“I’m protecting my job. You embarrassed me today,
Dallon, and I don’t want to lose it.”
“Bullshit,” he said, stepping rapidly toward me so that
he was only a foot away, looking down at me with wild eyes. “You aren’t afraid
of that. You’re afraid because I freaked out after seeing Ruri and said a bunch
of stupid shit.”
My chin shook a little. “Things you might have meant.”
“I screwed up, Amy. I felt guilty about Ruri and blamed
myself for the things she did next.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“No, I’m not.”
“But you care about her.”
“Yes, because she was an important person in my life,
and I’m human.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down.
He slammed a palm against the wall above my head, leaned
over me. “But you’re the one I yearn for, Amy. I’m never happier than when I’m
with you. You have me completely—mind, body and soul.”
My heart ached; I wanted so desperately to believe him.
|You made me feel ashamed, Dallon. Of the things I’ve done.”
“Don’t. Don’t ever feel ashamed about who you are.” He
took my face in both hands, his eyes searching mine. “Everything you’ve
revealed about yourself makes me love you even more.”
Love
. There it was again,
but could I believe him?
“You think you have to be someone you’re not. You don’t
have to pretend with me, Amy.”
“I’m not pretending,” I responded, but my voice shook.
“Then say you forgive me. Because I am sorry, Amy—I’m so
sorry I made you doubt how I feel about you.”
When I pulled my face away, he let me, but the hurt was
evident in his eyes. Then he scowled. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth about Michael?”
My breath caught in my throat. “What are you talking
about?”
“You didn’t tell me you have a restraining order against
him. What did he do, Amy? And why did you keep it from me? I’m assuming it was
more than cheating on you.”
I glared and tried to step around him, but he placed his
other hand on the wall, caging me in.
“You said me confiding in you is important. Shouldn’t it
go both ways?”
“Let me go, Dallon.”
His jaw tightened. “Answer my question.”
“I didn’t tell you because I don’t really want to talk
about him. Not with anybody and definitely not with my new boyfriend. How did
you even find that out?”
“I have a friend that’s a cop.”
“Bullshit,” I said, turning it around on him. “You did
more sleuthing than that.”