Exquisite Karma (Iron Horse MC Book 4) (22 page)

Smoke, however, wasn’t feeling as happy as Hulk. “What in the ever-loving fuck were you thinking? Of all the stupid shit you could have done, this was by far the fuckin’ worst. Do you have any idea what your leavin’ did to Beach? You got even the faintest fuckin’ clue the problems you caused?”

Oh no, I did
not
endure all the bullshit I’d gone through to deal with this. No way was I going to just bite my tongue and be a good girl while he went off. I’d put up with way too much crap in the past few weeks and I was beyond my limit. My heart raced as he continued to try to lecture me like I was a moron until I was about ready to slit his damn throat.

Hulk must have noticed my homicidal thoughts because he quickly stepped between us. “Sarah, honey, where have you been?”

“Somewhere with her head up her ass,” Smoke snarled as he texted something on his phone.

Normally, I love Hulk. He’s a good guy with endless patience and a smile that draws you in. We became good friends, and while I was glad to see him, no way was Smoke going to think he had any right to act like my dad. Fuck that.

“Listen, asshole,” I pointed right at Smoke so he knew for sure I was referring to him, “I don’t know what planet you live on where you think it’s okay to lecture me like you’re my daddy, but you aren’t, and I suggest you back the fuck off before I cut your balls off. I am in no mood for any macho bullshit and I don’t have the time or energy to waste on killing you, so kindly fuck off.”

Swan’s voice groaned from the bed, “For fuck’s sake, Sarah, can you stop yelling at Dad for ten damn minutes. Shit. And go get me some orange juice and some aspirin.”

We all flew to her side and it took her a few minutes to fully wake up, but as she did and I watched her interact with Smoke, I knew she loved him as well. In fact, it was almost sickening how into each other they were. I’d never seen Swan like that with a man, not even Stewart, so the open adoration in her expression as she gazed at Smoke, the way his normally mean features eased, made me all gooey inside.

My sister was in love with a good man and I couldn’t be happier for her.

At least something positive came of this mess.

They began to kiss and I couldn’t help teasing Smoke. “Ha! I knew you had a thing for her.”

Swan’s fair brows turned down as she frowned at me. “What?”

I ignored her, loving the way Smoke looked almost…guilty. “How the mighty have fallen. I bet every sweet butt from here to New Mexico is crying herself to sleep.”

He glared, then smiled at me, his dark eyes sparking with amusement as we fell into our usual pattern of shit-talking each other. “Speaking of fallen, Beach is waiting for you to call him back, Sarah. He wanted me to remind you of your agreement with him, one phone call a day, every day. And my Prez also wants you to know that
Papi
is on his way, and that you’re his now, princess. Get ready for a life of spoiled leisure after he punishes you for scaring ten years off his life.”

It took me a second to figure out what he was talking about, then I remembered a conversation Beach and I had when we’d first moved in together about checking in with each other. This was after he’d disappeared for four days, leaving me frantic to know if he was even alive. After he returned, and we had a pretty big fight, we’d both agreed to contact each other at least once a day. Phone call, text, email, messenger pigeon, didn’t matter how as long as we did. At the time I’d sworn I’d do it, that he could keep me locked up in a gilded cage like a princess in a tower if I didn’t check in faithfully, and evidently he remembered that conversation.

Then my brain digested the rest of the conversation.

Papi
was on his way.

Oh shit.

My knees grew weak and Hulk was there to brace me in an instant. “Always there to catch me. You need to get a new hobby.”

They tried to talk to me more, but I needed some alone time with Swan so I brushed the men off and dragged her into the bathroom before shutting the door and turning on the shower to block our conversation from prying ears.

I’m ashamed to say I came almost instantly unglued, my sobbing apology for not having caught our mother coming out in a broken whimper.

Swan evidently had enough of my pity party because she interrupted my babbling apologies for her getting kidnapped back in Houston by Los Diablos. “Hey, it’s not your fault. I wasn’t paying any attention. I should have seen them. I guess my paranoia was out of practice. Besides, Smoke saved me, and I started to fall in love with him that night.”

Her strength bolstered my own, and I forced myself to get a grip. “I’m so proud of you, and so sorry I still haven’t managed to nail our mother down. That bitch is slippery, and I can’t get too close to her without tipping off her watchdogs. Please forgive me for dragging you into this, but I couldn’t do it on my own.”

“You didn’t drag me into anything; it was our waste-of-space mother. I’m so proud of you for going after her, even if I want to strangle you for putting yourself in danger like that! Where have you been? What have you been doing? And why the hell wouldn’t you contact me?”

“I couldn’t. Nothing I sent to you could be trusted not to end up in the wrong hands. They have hackers that make Stewart look like a rank amateur. This is the big league, Swan, and they don’t play around. I got the jewels; which’ll make Hustler happy. I got the codes which’ll make the Russians happy. And I know for a fact that we can trade them for our safety. The Russians will not only forgive our mother’s debt, they will add their protection to us. That leaves the Israelis, and I’m hoping that’ll work itself out.”

I hoped she didn’t see how worried I truly was, how much I feared for our future, but I didn’t want to freak her out so I continued to lie. “Soon we’ll have a strong enough shield of people guarding us, the kind of people who will seek bloody retribution on our behalf, that we should, in theory, be able to live the rest of our lives in relative peace.”

She stared at me, hope burning bright on her expressive face even as she continued to wring her hands. “Are you for fucking real?”

“Absolutely.” A sudden certainty hit me, and this time I spoke the truth when I said, “The Iron Horse MC is my family. Nobody fucks with my family and most especially, nobody fucks with my blood. I love you honey, so much, and I’m so, so happy to see you. I missed you.”

We talked some more before I finally got up the courage to reveal my big secret to her. Yes, part of me wanted to not let anyone else know I was pregnant before Beach, but this was my twin, and I needed to tell her. She, of course, was super excited, and before I knew it, I found myself whispering to her about how I feared I’d be a bad mother, like our own. I figured if anyone could understand my doubts, it would be her.

Swan surprised me with her vehemence as she scolded me for ever thinking I’d end up like Billie, and told me with complete assurance that I was going to be a wonderful mother. When I fretted about Beach hating me, she set me straight on that as well, reassuring me that Beach still loved me and that nothing I could do would ever stop that. Not even my past and my mother.

This caused more crying, and she gave me a pep talk like only Swan could.

“Look at you! Fuck, woman, you faced down bikers and the mafia, then managed to save the goddamn world by yourself. You’re a fucking superhero. Any child would be blessed to have you as a mom. Your past is just that—your past. And when did Sarah Anderson,
Playboy
centerfold, Pole Dancing Champion, and Ice Dancing Junior Queen of Nevada, give a fuck what anyone thinks of her?”

I sniffed. “When those two pink lines came up on the pregnancy test.”

A loud banging came from the door and we hurriedly cleaned up. Khan, the president of the Denver chapter of the Iron Horse MC, was on his way.

I knew I still looked like shit as I strode out to meet him, but I put some steel in my backbone. No way was I showing any hint of vulnerability to what was probably going to be a roomful of pissed-off bikers. The thought of all of them trying to lecture me about how “stupid” I’d been instantly put me in a pissed-off mood, and I grabbed Swan’s hand in an attempt to calm myself.

As soon as we stepped into the now crowded bedroom, Khan’s voice boomed out, “You scared ten fuckin’ years off my life! Where the fuck have you been? Why didn’t you come to me?”

I stared him down, taking in the deep lines around his eyes and how tight his lips were behind his long grey-and-black mustache. “That would require trust, and you know I don’t trust anyone except Beach and my family.”

He appeared genuinely sad as he said, “Should’ve come to me, trust or not.”

I glanced over at my sister, finding Smoke wrapped around her protectively like a living shield. “My goal, Khan, is to stay alive. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. As will my sister. It’s how we were raised.”

Smoke’s phone beeped, and as he read the text, the corner of his lip curved up in a grin. “Beach will be here in two hours. He says he wants to talk to you in person.”

Every nerve in my body seemed to light up with anticipation, even as the worry that I might have pushed him too far, broken his trust in me forever, haunted me. Not to mention the fact I was still a little pissed that he’d been so quick to accuse me of betraying him. That still stung and I whispered, “How can I love and hate him at the same time?”

“Because you’re a crazy bitch,” Swan muttered.

I was tempted to stick my tongue out at her, but Smoke said in a low voice, “Which one are you gonna embrace, love or hate?”

“What?”

Swan rolled her eyes at Smoke before turning back to me. “Just let go of your bullshit already and marry the guy. You’re obviously stupid for each other, so just make it official and live your happily ever after.”

She made it sound so easy. “Just like that?”

“Why not?”

“But there’s so much between us…”

Smoke chuckled. “Women…always overcomplicating shit. Here’s what you’re gonna do: When Beach comes in, you are going to tell him you’re sorry, then kiss him until he stops trying to talk. I’ll clear out the room across the hall, and you can take him in there and remind him how much you love him. Then, you’re gonna take your punishment from your
Papi
like a good little girl.”

I grinned at him. “Sometimes being a bad little girl is fun.”

“Tell me that tomorrow after you’ve had a night with Beach, knowing you scared the fuck out of him.”

“He’ll be fine,” I said with a pitiful attempt at nonchalance. My whole body was now shaking at the thought of seeing Beach again, of facing his anger. “Okay, he might be a little tiny bit irritated with me, but he acted like a dick.”

Smoke nodded with a smirking grin. “True. In fact, I think he might still owe you. Remember to make him beg for it if you really want an apology. Make him hard until his dick hurts and he’ll forgive you for anything once you give him that pussy he’s been starvin’ for.”

Looking down at myself, I couldn’t help but notice how frail my arms looked, how prominent the bump of my belly had become when I pressed the fabric of my dress over it. With my hair all ratty from the wig, the skanky outfit, and the remains of melted stage makeup on my face, I probably looked like a heroin-addicted hooker fallen on hard times.

“I look like shit.”

Swan slung her arm over my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. “Well, let’s kick Smoke out so we can get you ready for Beach and get something to eat.”

A little over two hours later, I was cleaned up and wearing an almost virginal white sundress that hid the bump of my belly while revealing a good expanse of leg. I’d washed up, eaten, and even gotten a small nap in while waiting for him to arrive. My skin smelled like Swan’s vanilla body lotion and I’d styled my hair the best I could with products borrowed from one of the old ladies.

I was still sickly looking due to all the weight I’d lost, but at least I no longer appeared homeless.

Smoke and Swan talked in low voices while I paced the room, both of them having given  up on talking to me while I waited for Beach.

All at once, tingles raced over me in a harsh burn of sensation.

Carlos was here.

I spun to the door, my whole body shaking with the tension, trapped beneath the need to run out there and see if my instincts were right, terrified of finding the hallway empty.

Before I could find the courage to move, my man strode through the door, breaking my heart into a million pieces as his midnight-blue eyes met mine, the grief blanketing his handsome face lifting the moment he saw me.

I raised my trembling arms to him and wrapped them around his strong neck, the press of his body so hot against mine, so real. My fingers plunged into his thick blond hair, finding more glints of silver at the temples than I remembered. The strong muscles of his neck flexed beneath my touch as an almost tortured sound escaped him that tore through my heart. There was so much pain in it, a staggering amount that brought tears to my eyes.

“Sarah,” he groaned against my neck, the relief in his voice filling me.

My mind barely functioned beneath the onslaught of my emotions, but I managed to whisper out, “I’m so sorry.”

He clutched me tight, not bothering with foolish words as his fingers dug into me. A buzz began to hum through me, the rasp of the cloth of my dress over my sensitive nipples making them bead up tight. The firm grip of his hands on me was heaven and he began to jerk down the zipper holding my dress together while his other hand disappeared beneath the skirt, gripping my ass hard enough to send delicious shards of pleasure racing through me.

Dimly I was aware of male laughter and voices, but I was too entranced by Beach to give it much thought.

The world spun around me and I wanted to laugh, scream, and cry all at the same time as Beach kissed me like he was trying to devour me. Our mingled taste flowed through me, setting my body on fire. My clit throbbed and I wrapped my legs tighter around his hard waist, the strength of his body easily holding me to him. His strong body moved against mine as he moved with me clinging to him like a kudzu vine.

Abruptly he stopped and we broke apart long enough for me to glance around at what appeared to be an empty bedroom. The warm amber table lamps bathed Beach’s face in gold light, revealing how much he'd aged while I’d been gone. Terrible things shone briefly in his eyes and I mourned the way all the stress had marked him.

We studied each other and Beach reached up with a trembling hand, cupping my face and swiping his thumb over my lips. “Sarah.”

“I’m so sorry,” I repeated, unable to put into words everything I was feeling.

His grip on my chin firmed and anger twisted his features as he scowled at me. “I’m unbelievably pissed at you for running away like that, for puttin’ yourself in so much danger. Do you have any idea how much I’ve needed you? Can you even begin to understand how fucked up I’ve been without you?”

Ashamed, I looked away, fearing his disgust when he learned I wasn’t only endangering myself, but also our unborn child.

Part of me wanted to hide it, to avoid conversation that I was scared to have, but I’d never been the kind of person to run from my fears. I needed to tell him, now, before anything else was said.

“Beach, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Later.”

“But—”

“I said fuckin’ later!” he roared as I stumbled a step back, a tiny bit of fear breaking through the wall of guilt I’d built around my hidden pain. “I thought you were
dead
, I thought you were being tortured, that you were somewhere begging for your life, and I couldn’t
find
you! Every time I closed my eyes, I would see you broken and bleeding while some animal ended your life in misery.”

Abruptly, my emotional pendulum swung the other way and I yelled at him, “Yeah? Well last time I saw you, Beach, you were accusing me of betraying the club. Sorry if I wasn’t sure what your reaction would be if I contacted you.”

He hunched forward like I’d hit him in the stomach. “I know, I’m so sorry for doubting you,
mi corazon
. So fuckin’ sorry.”

The pain radiating from him had me braving his defensive rage as I wrapped my arms around him and held on, trying to let go of my anger. “I love you. I’m sorry too.”

“Never again,” he groaned in desperation against my head. “Sarah, promise me, never again. I won’t survive if you do this again.”

“I swear it.”

My gaze caught something on the side of his neck and I jerked back while tilting his head for a better look. It was a tattoo, a big one, and it spelled out my name.

Holy shit, he’d gotten my name tattooed on his neck while I was gone. I instantly loved the fact that he’d put it someplace so visible, someplace everyone was bound to see. The black ink stood out from his tanned skin proclaiming him as mine and I teared up.

“Oh, Beach.” I traced the flowing letters of my name on his strong neck. “It’s beautiful.”

He grasped my hand and exposed where I’d tattooed his name on my inner wrist. Kissing it softly, he traced the suddenly sensitive skin with the tip of his tongue. “Better or worse,
mi
Corazón
. Those aren’t just words with us, but a promise. Gonna marry you as soon as we can have a wedding without worryin’ about assassins.”

I struggled to keep my mind on target, to tell Beach about the baby, even though all I wanted to do was make love to him until we both passed out. “Honey, I really need to tell you something.”

“Your dad clued me in on his plan. I got Tom working on it—he owes us, big, and this’ll call us even. We’re gonna make them an offer they can’t refuse.”

My breath came out shaky as the scruff around his lips abraded my tingling skin. “What?”

Now licking his way up my arm, he bit the sensitive skin of my forearm before looking up at me with a purely wicked gleam in his eyes. “Later.”

“But I—”

My words were cut off as he scooped me up then tossed me onto the bed, his weight following me. He jerked the top of my dress down, the delicate straps snapping easily beneath his strength. I drew in a deep breath to tell him to stop, but he took my now super-sensitive nipple into his mouth and I practically shot off the bed.

Holy shit, I knew they were more tender than usual, but I had no idea it would be like this. A harsh moan ripped from me as he added teeth, and I found myself trying to jerk his head from my breast even as I arched closer to the lush sucking of his mouth. Each pull sent harsh daggers of warmth straight to my clit and I wondered if I’d be able to orgasm like this.

He released me long enough to whisper, “Fuck, I missed these perfect tits.”

A giggle escaped me that quickly turned into a moan as he sat up between my legs, his magnificent arms flexing while he ripped off his cut, then his shirt, the absolute perfection of his thick body sending my hormones into overload. When he covered me with his weight again, I took in a deep breath of his familiar musk and found myself growing even wetter. Damn, he smelled like a weird mixture of sex and home, pleasure and safety. The primitive parts of my mind rejoiced at being reunited with my mate.

The coarse hair of his chest rubbed my nipples while he softly kissed my mouth, his busy hands roaming over the parts of my body that weren’t pressed tight to his.

When he reached between us towards my belly, I startled. “Wait!”

Looking at me like I’d lost my mind, his lust-filled gaze narrowed on me. “What?”

“Wait…I…Beach…give me your hand.”

I took his large, calloused palm in my own and swallowed hard enough that my throat clicked as I slid it over the hard curve of my normally flat belly. “I’m pregnant. Carlos, you’re going to be a father.”

His gaze grew glassy and he stopped breathing long enough that I grew alarmed.

Then I was pretty sure he fainted for a second.

Honest to God, his eyes started to roll back in his head and he slumped forward, giving me all his weight.

“Beach!” I yelped. “Squishing me.”

“The baby!” he yelled as he abruptly came too, his frantic gaze going to my stomach while he lifted himself off me in an impressive plank. “Did I hurt the baby?”

“No, no honey. She’s perfectly fine.”

His normally dark tan paled as his arms lost some of their ridged straightness. “She?”

“Yes. We’re having a baby girl.”

Then he closed his eyes and began to pray in Spanish so fast, I worried—until I realized he was thanking God over and over again.

Leaning up, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me, but he remained stiff.

“I want to see.”

When his gaze met mine, I nodded, worried and unable to read his expression as his gaze bore into mine with an intensity I’d never seen before. It was like he was looking all the way into my soul, his entire being serious to the point of being dire. My stomach clenched and I hoped the pill I’d taken earlier kept on working. Abruptly the darkness in his blue eyes disappeared and was replaced with an incredible warmth that took away all my fear and worry.

He was overjoyed that I was pregnant.

With a gentle reverence that was totally at odds with his earlier dress-ripping actions, he slowly tore the fabric away to reveal my stomach in all its glory. I made sure to use coconut oil on it nightly and so far the skin was smooth and stretch-mark free. The baby books called this the “pretty belly stage”, and Beach seemed utterly entranced as he leaned down and began placing kisses all over my bump while talking to his daughter in Spanish, calling her his little flower and other sweet names.

While he bonded with his baby, I ran my fingers through his hair, marveling at the way the tension seemed to melt off of him, how life was returning to his face.

He began to kiss his way lower on my belly, until I started to squirm as he drew closer to other parts of me that had missed him as well.

I couldn’t help but wonder if my lady bits were more sensitive now due to the pregnancy.

Beach answered that question when he gently stroked the panel of my teal cotton panties between my legs. I groaned and right away arched into his touch, desperate for him. When he scraped his thumb nail over my clit, I swear my legs shook and I opened my eyes, needing to see him.

“Naked,” I begged, “please.”

When he didn’t do as I asked, I tackled him.

The look of surprise on his face would have been comical if I wasn’t so desperate to have him inside of me. I pawed at his pants, yanking and jerking them while Beach laughed, the warm sound bringing an answering ring of joy through me. It was such a vital sound, so filled with life, and when I managed to yank down his pants enough to pull out his cock, he didn’t fight me.

“Anything you want,
mamacita
.”

Wise man.

I held his length in my hands, ready to plunge myself down on him, but he had other ideas. With a growl and a surprising show of strength, he plucked me from his hips and brought me up to straddle his mouth instead. I lurched forward until he steadied me with an impressive display of raw strength before grasping my hips and pulling me down onto his ravenous mouth.

At the first lash of his tongue, I fell forward, my hands tearing at the pillows as he nuzzled between my legs, hungry noises escaping him as he feasted on me. Warm tingles raced from my pelvis down to my toes, and back up again as I began to rock against his mouth, eager to come. He knew just how to eat me right and when his tongue circled my clit, slow, hot, and wet, I tensed then exploded with a scream. My orgasm was so powerful, rocketing through me while Beach kept licking, gripping my hips and forcing me down on his face.