“Are we exonerated? Can we come in now?” asked Nate. He picked up his shoe and ushered Brynn towards the couch. “Can someone tell us what’s going on here?” Nate sat down and untied his shoe so he could fit it back on his foot.
“I’ll be right back,” Robby said. He walked back to his room while the others brought Nate and Brynn up to speed on the night’s events. He squeezed back through the door and opened the bottom drawer of the dresser. Under the sweatpants, he found his thick envelope. He bent the papers, stuffed them in his back pocket, and returned to the living room.
“Did you check his room?” asked Nate. “Did he leave a note or anything?”
“If there is a note, I’m guessing you planted it there,” Pete said to Nate.
“When, Pete?” asked Sheila. “I was here on the couch all night. When could Nate have snuck in and left a note in Brad’s room? You, Ted, and Robby are the only ones who have been down the hallway.”
“I’ll go look for a note," Ted said. He gave Pete a stern look and headed down the hall.
“So we’ll just go find Brad and ask him what happened,” Nate said. He finished tying his shoe and stood up.
“Wait,” Robby said.
Nate sat back down.
“We need to head north. We can’t be distracted by losing a member of the group,” Robby said.
“So we’re all just expendable?” asked Pete. “We’re not looking out for each other anymore? What’s the point of banding together if we can’t trust each other when we need help?”
“We’ve banded together to accomplish something we can’t do on our own,” Robby said. “We’re trying to help
everyone
, not just the people in this room. We have to be willing to make hard decisions and sacrifice.”
“So if I disappear tomorrow, you’re not going to spend one minute looking for me?” asked Pete.
“You’re the only one who can keep those tractors moving, Pete," Romie said. “We’d spend at least
one
minute looking.”
Ted came back to the living room empty-handed. “Nothing.”
“I’m not going,” Pete said. “I was willing to risk my neck, but only because I thought we were watching each other’s backs.”
“Okay,” Robby said. “Nate, can we assume you’ll drive one of the rigs?”
“Yup,” Nate said.
“Great,” Robby said. “Is everyone else in?”
Nobody responded. Their eyes shifted around, stopping short of eye-contact. Sheila looked down at the table where the empty bottle of whiskey still sat.
Robby pulled the envelope from his back pocket. “None of us are indispensable. I’ve rewritten all the notes I lost in the fire and pulled together all my theories. If I’m lost, I expect you all to proceed without me so I recorded everything I expect to lead us north and what to do when we get there. Lisa? Would you keep these notes?”
“Yes," Lisa said.
“So you’re in?”
“Yes," Lisa said.
“I’m in," Ted said.
“I’ll go too," Romie said.
“Good,” Robby said. “We really need at least six drivers or this trip will take forever. Are you coming, Sheila?”
She didn’t answer. She shifted her gaze from the table to the window, where the sun was just starting to brighten the sky.
“Brynn can mostly drive,” Nate said. Brynn didn’t say anything. “We’ll have to show you how these things operate, but you can handle it,” Nate said to Brynn.
“That’s a good fallback position, but if we can I’d like to…” started Robby. He was cut off by Pete.
“Fine, I get it. I’ll go,” Pete said.
“You’re sure,” Robby said. He said it more like a statement than a question.
Pete nodded his head.
“Sheila?” Robby asked.
She dragged her eyes from the window over to Robby.
“What? Of course,” she said.
“Good,” Robby said. “We’re back to seven, and with Brynn as a backup. Let’s get moving.”
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✪
Brynn pushed the slider another sixteenth of an inch to the right, raising the temperature in the cab of the tractor yet again. Robby unzipped his coat the rest of the way, trying to stay ahead of the sweat beginning to form under his clothes.
“It’s good to talk to another kid,” Robby said. He’d been trying for an hour to strike up a conversation with Brynn. “It sucks talking to adults all the time.”
When they were loading up the tractors and getting ready to head off, Nate and Brynn approached Robby. Nate made Brynn state the request—Brynn wanted to ride with Robby. This was his chance to finally learn something about Brynn. He figured since Brynn wanted to ride with him, they would talk. This assumption proved to be incorrect. Brynn hadn’t said a word to Robby since climbing in the cab.
“You talk like an adult," Brynn said.
Robby was startled by Brynn’s sudden statement. He almost forgot to answer.
“Yeah? What makes you say that?” Robby asked.
“Pull over. I gotta pee.”
“Sure. Well, wait, I can’t really pull over. You remember how much trouble we had with the soft snow near the edges of the road before? I’m afraid if I veer off this course at all we’ll get mired again.”
The journey started very slowly that morning. Just north of Portland, the snow became incredibly deep—ten to twenty feet in spots—and it got worse as they continued north. Pete, at the head of the convoy, guided the group along the right side of the road. There, the crown of snow on the northbound lanes looked a little less deep. The massive tracked vehicles punched right through the snow, bogging down to a crawl.
Pete radioed back that he would scout a better path. About halfway back in the line, Robby didn’t see Pete until he crested the hump of snow which followed the highway north. Pete was nearly swimming in the snow until he reached the top, where the crust had some integrity and supported his weight. After they maneuvered the tractors up to the top of the hump, they moved much more easily.
“Pull over,” Brynn repeated.
“Like I said, I can’t. I can stop if you want to just go off the side or something. Nobody will watch.”
Brynn shook his head.
“You want a cup or something? You can go in the back seat?”
Brynn shook his head.
“What do you want to do?” Robby asked. The boy wasn’t offering any suggestions. They rode in silence while Robby considered the problem. The cloud cover was even thicker here, north of the city. It was about noon, but the sky had the same grey, gloomy look it always did. Robby wondered if anyone else needed to go to the bathroom and then he thought about the women of the group. They couldn’t just leave the tractor in gear and piss out the window. That’s what Nate said he would do when the time came. The women might also want to pull over, but how would they?
Robby picked up his radio handset. “Anyone else need a bathroom break?” he asked.
Lisa’s voice came over the radio first, but she was interrupted by Romie. "Sure do.”
“Me too,” Lisa said.
“Already taken care of,” Pete said.
Robby turned to Brynn. "Grab those snowshoes from the back seat and start putting them on.” He sensed Brynn would really want some privacy. Brynn slid over the seat and started to rearrange the food and gear to make enough room back there to maneuver.
Robby kept his speed until he saw Nate’s sled in front of them start to slow. Before embarking they agreed to maintain a certain distance between tractors at all times. The line of tractors stopped. Brynn threw open the back door, aligned the edges of his snowshoes on the step and then jumped down into the snow. After a quick roll, Brynn was back on his feet and reaching up to close the door behind him. Robby grabbed the other set of shoes and made his way onto the track to put them on. Ahead, he saw Nate rounding the back of the corpse-loaded sled in his boots; gingerly putting each foot down so he wouldn’t punch through the crust of packed snow.
Robby cinched the last strap and paddled his snowshoes over to Nate.
“Brynn have to pee?” Nate asked.
“Yeah,” Robby said.
“I should have warned you—Brynn needs privacy,” Nate said.
“No worries.”
Robby slipped out of his snowshoes, climbed up the back of Nate’s trailer, and stood on the seat of the snowmobile lashed there. From the head of the convoy, Pete was whisking an even pace towards them. The big man showed his dexterity on snowshoes. Romie, Lisa, and Sheila formed a group to walk towards a small clump of branches—the tops of trees sticking out of a deep mound of snow. Brynn was disappearing over a snow bank at the edge of the road.
“I don’t see Ted,” Robby said as he dropped down from the back of the trailer. He tried to land light on his feet, but he sunk down to his knees. Nate helped pull him out of snow.
“He radioed that he was going to stay in his cab—you didn’t hear?” asked Nate.
“Nope, but I left pretty quick to put on my snowshoes.”
“I don’t know if those things help or hurt. I’ve never had much use for them,” Nate said. “Pete’s the exception. He moves like a goddamn gazelle on those things.”
Robby nodded. He collected his own snowshoes from the back of the trailer and debated whether he should put them back on. Instead, he decided to use his break wisely and he moved a few paces away from Nate and turned his back. As he urinated in the snow, he heard Pete and Nate greet each other.
“Hey,” Pete said.
“Pete,” Nate said.
“Any problems with the rig?”
“Nope.”
“How ‘bout you, Robby?”
“No problems, Pete,” Robby said, walking back to the two men.
“If either of you see any change in engine temp, let me know right away,” Pete said.
“You expecting any?” asked Nate.
“Always expect problems and you’ll never be surprised by them,” Pete said.
“Fair enough,” Nate said.
Pete walked over to the other side of the trailer and looked up and down the highway. “Who’s with Brynn?” he asked.
“Nobody,” Robby said.
“Jesus,” Pete said. “I thought we decided we should always stick together when we’re not in the tractors?”
“He’s right over there, I’m sure,” Nate said, pointing in the direction of Brynn’s footprints.
“That’s what we thought about Brad,” Pete said. “Fuck.” He shuffled off, following the tracks.
“Wait, Pete!” called Robby. “Brynn needs privacy.”
“I’m not going to watch or anything,” Pete called back over his shoulder.
Brynn was spared embarrassment. He crested the snow bank before Pete got there. Pete waited for Brynn to catch up and then the two came back to Robby’s tractor together.
“There’s an overpass just north of here,” Nate said. “Do we have a plan? Just go under, like the last one?”
“Nope,” Pete said, shaking his head. “Brad told us the snow was right up to the structure. I figure we’ll have to find a way around.”
“He also said he found a thick crust from Falmouth north,” Robby said.
“On a snowmobile, it might have seemed thick,” Nate said.
“We’re making terrible time,” Pete said. “We’re not going to make Kingston Depot before sunset.”
“I say we hole up in Freeport,” Pete said. “Brad said we can get into the L.L. Bean. We’ll follow his tracks there if we can and stay the night.”
Robby bowed his head and considered his plan for several moments.
“Probably worth checking out,” Nate said.
Brynn shed his snowshoes and climbed on top of the snowmobile lashed to the trailer. He turned the handlebars back and forth, grinding the skis on the deck of the trailer. Pete, leaning back against the edge of the trailer, reached back and stilled the skis. Brynn let go and stood up on the seat.
“Women coming back," Brynn said.
“Wave them over here,” Pete said, turning his head to address Brynn.
Just as Romie, Lisa, and Sheila rounded the corner of the sled, Robby looked up from his concentration.
“I’m a little wary of following Brad’s path,” Robby said. “But as long as we’re cautious…”
“What are we talking about?” asked Lisa.
“Let’s go back and run it by Ted,” Pete said. “So we don’t have to repeat ourselves.”
✪
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✪
✪
✪
Everything took longer than they thought—navigating around overpasses, refueling, crossing the river. Even following Brad’s snowmobile tracks was a chore. In some places the wind scoured all tracks and left an icy flat plain. In others it looked like the tracks were only hours old.
They used the GPS to get close, but in the end the sunset reflecting off of jagged glass led them to the spot where Brad had broken into L.L. Bean’s retail headquarters. With the line of tractors and trailers parked at a safe distance, Pete poked around in the snow with a ski pole and found a row of shattered windows. He pointed his flashlight inside and found the top-floor offices of the retail store. He waved everyone over and they climbed inside as a group.
Between headlights and handheld flashlights, more than a dozen beams cut through the entombed office.
“Jesus," Lisa said. “Why didn’t Brad just turn around and leave?”
“He was cold, and this was the first he’d seen of civilization since leaving his house," Ted said.
“I bet they sell heaters downstairs,” Pete said. “Let’s go get one going.” He motioned to Ted and they headed towards the door next to the elevator.
Lisa turned back to the windows, where Robby was still looking at the snow drifted in through the broken panes.
“Why would Brad break so many windows getting in here?” Lisa asked.
“He only broken one getting in. This one,” Robby said. He pointed his light towards the floor where it glittered off shards of glass. “These windows were all broken outwards. That’s why we found the glass on the snow out there.”
Robby led Lisa back to the rest of the group, who followed Pete over to the stairwell door.
Ted picked up a fire extinguisher from the carpet. “He used this to wedge the door open,” Ted stated.