Authors: Ryan Schneider
Susannah grinned. “I made one additional phone call.”
Howard returned with Helen Flanks and her robotic companion Sparky. Helen and Sparky both wore black leather, and lots of it: leather boots, leather pants, and matching leather jackets.
“Nice jackets,” said Zammy.
“Why, thank you, dear.” Helen wore a black leather bustier under her jacket. She was not ill-equipped.
Delilah eyed Helen’s bustier and whispered to Zammy, “I should totally get one of those.”
Zammy grinned. “Totally.”
Helen addressed the room. “I’m Helen Flanks. This is my lover, Sparky.”
“Good evening, everyone.” Sparky was bare chested beneath his jacket, revealing the olive-skinned muscles of his chest. He was not wearing the much-debated hood he’d worn in Candy’s office.
“We’re clients of Doctor Calvin’s,” said Helen. “Truth be known, we’ve always counted her as a friend as well. We owe our relationship to Doctor Calvin. When Susie telephoned and said you had a lead on Candy’s whereabouts, we came right over. You’ll have to excuse our appearance. Monday is Moto Guzzi Orgie night at the seniors’ center. We didn’t have time to go home and change. But we’ll do anything we can. Won’t we, Sparky?”
“Most assuredly.”
The doorbell chimed.
Susannah held up both hands. “It wasn’t me.”
“I’ll get it,” said Zammy.
Zammy came back a few moments later with a robot and a man in a yellow suit. “Everyone, this is Romeo, owner of the Six-Thirty-Six Cafe, home of the world’s best vegetarian fish. And this tall drink of lemonade is my good friend Oberon, owner of Mechanical Man.”
“Who called them?” Danny asked.
“I did,” said Zammy.
“Actually,” said Oberon, “Z called me while I was having dinner at Six-thirty-six–”
“Sampling my newest creation,” Romeo exclaimed. “Vegetarian barbecue ribs!”
“–which are quite good,” said Oberon. “I told Romeo what was happening and we came right over.”
“That tub of shit Les Grossman has been paying health inspectors to try and have my restaurant shut down for years,” said Romeo. “If I have an opportunity to stick that prick with a few regulations of my own, then honey, count me in because I am in like the latest new party drug. Only, I heard that stuff can make you go blind, so stay away from that shit.” Romeo waved his arm and snapped his fingers in emphasis.
“I heard that, too,” said Poo. He raised his arms and felt about in the air with his hands. “It’s not true.”
Oberon said, “Z told me you all might be going up against Grossman and his cronies. That sack of shit has been trying to drive me into the ground for a decade. I’ll show him for screwing around with my livelihood.”
“Poo was just talking about livelihoods,” said Atom.
“I’m a robot salesman,” said Oberon. “The day will likely one day come when robots are declared autonomous beings, which would make my job tantamount to slavery. When that day comes, I’ll gladly switch from the robot sales business to the robot adoption business. But until then, my livelihood depends on robots. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that bastard rule the world. Plus, I sold the
Pagaz
units to Zammy.” Oberon and Zammy shook hands.
“How’s it hangin’, Obie?” Zammy asked.
“You know me, the water in the urinal is cold.”
“And deep,” Zammy added. “I thought you said you were going to finally burn this yellow suit.”
“Yellow is going to be the new black, just you wait and see.”
Zammy pointed to Helen and Sparky. “I think black is the new black.”
“How’re the
Pagaz
workin out?”
“Perfect,” said Zammy. “Not one freeze-out among them.”
“Freeze-outs are down eighty-six percent,” said Atom. “
Eighty-six percent
. That is significant.”
“But we did lose Rennie tonight,” said Blendo.
“No, not Rennie!” said Oberon. “He’s such a nice guy.”
“And he makes the best linguini,” said Bella.
“Can he be repaired?” Oberon asked.
Zammy turned to Rukara. Rukara withdrew his phone from a pocket of his trenchcoat (which was giving off a subtle red light), and made a call. “Hey it’s me. What’s the status on Rennie?” He listened. “And how much to fix him?” Rukara turned to Zammy. “A million five.”
“Shit, with our profit margin, that’s almost six months’ take.” Zammy turned to Delilah. “What’re we going to do?”
Canary stood. “Do it. I’ll pay for it.”
“You don’t have to do that, Mr. C.,” said Zammy.
“I want to. We’re all in this together.”
“Thank you,” said Zammy. His thanks were echoed by Delilah, Rukara, Bella, and Rony.
Danny surveyed everyone in his living room. “I’m not sure what to say. Except, thank you. I’m sure with your help, we’ll find Candy and Harley and will get Candy back.”
Laura rose from the sofa and stood beside Canary. “There’s just one problem. We have no idea where they are.”
“I do.”
Everyone turned.
Standing in the hallway, just outside the room, was Rory.
~
“I let myself in. I hope you don’t mind.” Rory went to Danny and threw his arms around him. “Sorry I’m late. And I’m sorry for ruining your life. You’re a good friend, and I love you. I want you and Candy to be together. You deserve to be happy. So does she. So, I hope you can forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” said Danny.
“I never should have opened my mouth. I should have let you and Candy be happy.”
“No, I needed to know the truth. A relationship with any chance at success has to be built on truth and honesty. It was my fault, I didn’t handle it well. We’re in this situation because of me. But I’m glad you’re here.” Danny surveyed the room. “I’m glad you’re all here. It means a lot to me.”
“So what’s the plan?” asked Floyd.
“Harley once told me about a private island where Grossman goes for vacation,” said Rory. “I’ll bet you positrons to popcorn that she’s there.”
Danny grinned.
Chapter 35
All Night Long
It was after midnight. Santa Monica airport was deserted. The airfield was dark, punctuated by the rows of blue lights on both sides of the taxiways.
In his hangar, Danny performed the pre-flight walk-around of the Viper Jet. The pre-flight inspection was as much a ritual as an inspection. It was time used to connect with the aircraft, to rediscover its nuances before climbing inside the cockpit and experiencing the magic of flying. The Viper Jet hadn’t been in the air in almost four months, not since his night flight with Candy. This inspection had to be thorough.
The fluorescent lights overhead brought out the shine in the black and green paint. Danny ran his hands gently over the aircraft. He searched for cracks or dents, loose screws or unseated rivets, as well as any dripping fluids. With a clean, soft cloth, he removed the remnants of dead insects accumulated in flight. Small black splotches, tiny wings, and small bodies that crunched when he wiped them away.
He began at the cockpit and worked his way backward and around, the way he always did. He squatted beneath the wings and inspected the landing gear. He checked the wings’ leading edges and the full travel of the control surfaces, including ailerons and elevons.
He reached into the cockpit and flipped the Master switch to
On.
He walked quickly around the jet. All lights were on and functioning. This was to be a night flight. Illumination was critical.
With the checklist complete, Danny took up from the shelf a clean cloth and a small can of micro-acrylic cleaner. He sprayed the windshield and canopy with the cleaner and waited for it to foam. Once the distillates had penetrated the microscopic pores of the acrylic, Danny wiped it away. The canopy was left deep-cleaned and shining. Cinderella always rode in a carriage right and perfect.
Satisfied, Danny towed the jet out of the hangar. Ten minutes later, he was strapped snugly in the cockpit, engine at idle, and completed the last items on his Before Take-off Checklist.
He advanced the throttle a bit to get the jet rolling, and used the rudder pedals to steer as he taxied onto the runway and into position. He aligned the nose wheel with the white runway centerline.
He glanced at his rear-view mirror. At the seat behind him.
The seat was empty.
The last person to sit there was Candy. Everyone had offered to ride in Danny’s airplane. Howard had been particularly insistent, until Canary reminded Howard that he was needed to pilot one of the other two jets.
No, the seat was reserved for someone special.
Danny was coming back with Candy in the passenger seat, or he wasn’t coming back at all.
That much he had already decided.
He advanced the throttle to take-off thrust. The engine wound up, Danny removed his toes from the brake pedals, and the Viper Jet tore down the runway.
In moments he was ripping through the night sky, sailing out over the ocean, and toward the rendez-vous point.
~
Danny circled the Viper Jet in the sky over Santa Barbara Island, the smallest and centermost of the eight Channel Islands. Santa Catalina was another of the eight land masses. Danny could see lights along its coast as he banked left and circled southward.
He confirmed his pre-selected radio frequency and pressed the push-to-talk button on his joystick. “Viper to Big Bird. You copy?”
Silence.
“Viper to Big Bird, are you on-air?”
A female voice answered. It was Laura. “Roger, Viper. This is Big Bird. We have you in sight. We’re heading one-eight-zero and descending out of five thousand.”
“Roger, Big Bird,” said Danny. “Nice to see you made it.” He flew north, then pulled hard to the left and circled around behind the southbound jet, until they were flying parallel.
Laura waved from inside the cockpit of the big G-950. “Is Baby Bird with you?”
“Negative,” Danny replied. “I’m flying solo up here.”
“Roger that.”
“We’ll wait a few more minutes.”
“No need for that, sir.” An airplane dropped out of the sky and pulled up level with the other two jets, with Danny in the middle of the formation.
“That’s a nice jet you’ve got there, Howard,” Danny radioed. “How’s she handle?”
“A bit like your aircraft, sir, but with more passengers.”
“She’s sexy,” said Danny, “but can she do this?”
Danny gave his flight control stick a crisp pull and a roll, until he was inverted, flying upside down between the other two jets.
Faces appeared in the oval windows along the fuselage of both of the bigger airplanes. In Canary’s Big Bird appeared Floyd, Susannah, Moshe, Tikva, Helen, Sparky, Atom, Blendo, Rony, Bella, Rukara, Poo, Zammy, Delilah, Oberon, and Romeo.
Peering from the windows of the smaller G-288 Baby Bi
rd were Rory, Tim, Maggie, Isaac, Nik, Gali, Copper, Turing, Blackie, Whitey, Kong, and VanCat.
Rory came on the radio. “Lookin’ good, show-off.”
“Thanks.”
“I could have ridden with you, you know.”
“I know. I just. . . . I wanted to. . . .”
“Don’t worry. We’ll get her back.”
Danny rolled his jet upright and assumed the lead. “Let’s head south, one-seven-five.”
The three aircraft flew south. Bright, orange lights of the San Diego metropolitan area passed by on their port side.
At regular intervals, Danny checked on his friends. Canary and Laura were clearly visible in the cockpit of the bigger jet, their faces bathed in a subtle glow cast by the instrument panel. On Danny’s other side, the red eyes of Howard and Bernard gleamed from the flight deck of the smaller Eighty-Eight.
All four of his fellow aviators wore radio headsets, which appeared particularly fascinating on Howard and Bernard.
Danny wondered if an all-robot flight crew were legal. Probably not. Howard was a fully-licensed pilot. Bernard was literally learning on the fly. At any rate, the folks in the back certainly didn’t seem perturbed about entrusting their lives to the two robots. It was a testament to the trust robots and humans could share.
If everyone made it out alive—
when
Danny insisted to himself,
when
everyone made it out alive—and they were back home, he would have a newfound respect for robots, having seen firsthand what they were capable of, and what they were willing to do to help their friends, robot and human alike.
“Everybody awake?” Danny radioed. “We’re almost to the border. Time to do some water skiing.”
Danny pitched the nose of his jet downward and descended toward the water. Flying at night over the water presented a unique challenge, for it was virtually impossible to see where the sky stopped and the water began. Both appeared equally dark. Water was also incompressible; it tended to receive fast-moving objects much as did concrete. Flying into the water, therefore, would not be comfortable.