Authors: Vanessa K. Eccles
“What’s the matter?” Lil asked.
“No. Nothing. I’m fine,” I said, trying to shake Rowena’s image out of my mind.
She began kissing me again. My neck. She started unbuttoning my shirt. I placed my hands on hers and stopped her.
“I can’t,” I murmured, defeated by something I couldn’t control.
“Why?”
“You don’t want to know.” If I told her it was because I couldn’t see anyone but Rowena when she kissed me, she’d be appalled, and I wouldn’t blame her. I didn’t see Rowena every time we kissed, but when things started to get a little hot, it never failed. Rowena’s innocent green eyes would stare back at me and remind me of the love I once had, without the overtly sexual display. It made me angry. I wanted to be with Lil. She was sexy, in a way that I never saw Rowena. She was wild, and I wanted to experience that side of her. I wanted to
be
experienced. I felt like I’d been missing out on something, but strangely, I never felt that way with Rowena. I never needed more of her to be content in our relationship, but I did with Lil. There seemed to be something missing between us.
“What’s the matter with you?” she asked, frustrated.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, forcing myself into the seat to create some distance between her and I.
She gave me
that
look, and I knew I’d better come up with something.
“The spaghetti isn’t sitting well.”
Her legs released my waist, and she made her way back to the passenger seat. I watched as her eyes rolled and her face dropped into a pout. We sat there for a moment, both caught up in our own thoughts.
“Is it always going to be like this?” she finally asked.
I looked in her eyes, took her manicured hands into mine, and said, “Lil, it’s not going to be like this forever. It’s only been a little over six months. Things will get better, and we’ll be good. Okay?” I gave her a plastered smile and a long but forgetful kiss.
I placed the car in drive and headed back to her house. I turned up the music to keep her occupied and to save us from having to discuss the matter any further. I was raging inside. I became so angry at Rowena for ferociously occupying my thoughts. We all felt, deep down, that she was dead. I didn’t want to waste another moment of my life living in the past. It hurt too bad. Everyone told me time would ease the pain, and it did, but very little. What helped more than anything was having Lil, school, and my job to distract me. I’d convinced myself that all I really needed to get over Rowena was distractions.
Lil’s voice rang over the loud speakers. She knew every word to every song.
“Don’t you wish she were more like me?” she sang carelessly.
I angrily ran my fingers through my hair.
“No,” I whispered.
At that moment, I saw Lil for who she really was. Someone totally different than Rowena. Not even related to her. She was just what I needed to build a new life, one without Rowena. I looked over at her and smiled.
Chapter 19
After three days of traveling morning, noon, and most of the night, we arrived. I could see Royal Court’s gates. A large rock fence encased the town. Inside, near the back, was the royal mansion, surrounded by its own set of gates. Not just anyone could get into Royal Court. The royals kept their favorites close by — friends, extended family, talented musicians, actors, and artisans. There were others too, though. The court had to have bakers, blacksmiths, guards, and everything else that made a town function. We were staying with a blacksmith. He had a small, inconspicuous shop near the mansion. I could hardly wait to finally be there, but we had to find a way to get into the town first. Cale suggested we should take a shipping buggy by force and ride right in, but Chester thought that could make too much of a commotion. I agreed.
“Besides, what would we do with the people? Surely they would run and tell someone,” I argued.
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Cale growled.
“What are you going to do? Kill them?” I laughed sarcastically.
“I think I’m pretty damn good at keeping prisoners.” He glared.
I looked away and decided I’d let them figure it out. There was obviously no use putting my two cents in. I stared up at the dual moons and tried to relax myself. The journey had made all of us weary. We were hungry, restless, and exhausted.
I saw a young man walking towards the gates with a donkey in tow.
Befriend him.
I thought about it for a moment. If I could get in, I could get help from Humbert’s caretaker and come back for Cale and Chester.
“Hey,” I said, trying to bring the passerby to their attention.
Shh! They’re never going to agree to you going alone. They would be too worried about you getting hurt or captured.
Cale and Chester looked at me curiously.
“Never mind.” I shrugged. It was true. They would never let me go inside the court alone, but it would be much easier to get one person inside the gates than three. “I’m going to look for something to eat. I’ll stay close,” I whispered and got up. They nodded reflexively, encompassed by their conversation.
I walked through the trees until I reached the road and quietly followed the man.
Go ahead. Let’s get this over with.
I thought for minute, trying to figure out a way to befriend this stranger.
What if he’s a crazy person? What if he hands me over to the royals?
He won’t.
“Sir, could you help me?” I asked as calmly and softly as I could.
He turned around quickly and questioned me with squinted eyes. Someone approaching him in the forest must have been suspicious.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I seem to have lost my company. And I can’t get into town without my friend. You see, he works for the blacksmith near the castle gates. Do you know him?”
“I know of the blacksmith.”
“Well, I’m sure he will be worried about me, and seeing how it’s getting dark, he’s probably panicking at the thought of me having to spend the night in the forest alone.” I batted my eyes and tried desperately to seem innocent and sincere.
He hesitated. I could tell he was considering taking me in, but something caused him to second-guess himself.
“Okay, hop on the donkey, and I’ll pretend you’re my wife.”
“Thanks so much, sir.” I smiled.
He gave me a boost as I climbed up the animal. We started towards the gates.
“Roe, I’m so glad I found you,” I heard Chester call out in a not-so-happy voice.
We both turned back and saw him standing in the road with his fists clinched.
Well, there goes that plan.
“I thought I’d lost you,” I called out to him a moment later, trying to conceal my lie from the stranger.
“Well, that worked out,” the man said and helped me down.
I walked back to Chester. We both watched silently as the stranger and the donkey trotted away. When they were out of earshot, Chester took me by the shoulders and stared at me. Betrayal flashed across his face.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered in the darkness.
He didn’t say anything and eventually let me go. Then he led me back to camp. Cale stood anxiously, glaring at us as we approached.
“What the Mezz were you thinking, Roe? Do you
want
to get yourself captured? Is that it?” he snarled.
“I don’t know,” I said. I really didn’t know why I would’ve walked up to a complete stranger and followed him into the lion’s den of Royal Court. I’d done some naïve things in Mezzanine, but even in my bravest moments, I wouldn’t have done that.
Then it hit me. It was her.
Julia, stay out of my head!
“I can’t believe you would leave us. Why would you think it’s okay to leave on your own?” Chester’s voice quivered in a mix of anger and hurt.
“Guys, I need to tell you something. I’m not alone in my head anymore.” I began to tell them about Mr. Carol, Adela, and Julia. “I don’t really know how to explain it. I hear her sometimes, and it’s hard for me to know if it’s her voice or my own. I can’t trust my thoughts anymore,” I went on. I would have thought that they’d look at me in disbelief, but instead, they nodded in understanding.
“Blast it, Roe! Why didn’t you tell me before?” Chester asked.
“I don’t know. It was a terrible experience, and part of me didn’t fully believe it. I didn’t want to talk about it right away, and we were traveling towards the Court with more important things to figure out. You and Cale had your hands full trying to iron out a plan. Besides, I thought I could handle her. I will be more careful from now on. Promise.”
“Rancid royals. They are nothing but a plague,” Cale said, staring at Royal Court in the distance. “Having one implanted in your mind is about the worst thing, second only to becoming one. Julia was more of a beast than I ever could be. Power will contort even the purest of people.”
I wasn’t a beast.
“She was the most powerful royal ever to live in Mezz. Only royals from Terra held more power. It’s hard to believe but life here was even worse when she was in power. Once she dissolved an entire town into dust. We now call it Dunes. All the inhabitants are now dirt under visitor’s feet,” Cale continued.
“That’s horrific,” I said to her more than to him. She stayed quiet.
As the night continued, we sat silently around the fire. I think we were all mending our minds of the afternoon and preparing them for the next morning.
“Cale, I’ve wanted to ask you something for a while now,” I said, breaking the silence.
“What?”
“Did the royals curse you to be a werewolf or whatever?”
He laughed. “No. And I’m not a werewolf. I don’t change when the moons are full. I can change whenever I like, and it’s not a curse. It’s my gift.”
“Remember I told you that everyone here has powers — something magical about them?” Chester interrupted avoiding eye contact with me.
“I remember. But everyone?”
“Every. One.”
“What about Rose? Or is hers limited to poisoning people?” I asked.
“Not exactly. Rose has extraordinary strength. Why do you think she’s not afraid to live in the forest alone? No one would mess with her. She may be beautiful, but there is a raging storm inside of her. She is a firecracker,” Chester said.
“But I thought you saved her once?” I asked.
“That’s what she told me, but I know the truth now. She was only playing damsel in distress to win some gentlemanly attention.”
“I thought she owed you a favor?”
“I continued to play along. It’s served me well to let her continue to think I’m oblivious.”
“Yeah, I would never get too close to her. One of us made that mistake before, and it didn’t turn out so good,” Cale said with a laugh.
“Wait. So the scar on her face isn’t from a lost battle to a wolf?” I asked.
“It’s from his feeble attempt to defend himself. Believe me he has never lived it down.” Cale grinned.
“How many beasts are there?”
“Enough to give the royals a good go.”
I stared at the moons and stars and thought aloud, “I wonder what my power is?”
“Don’t know. It took what seemed like years before I started realizing I could turn invisible, and even then it was haphazard. I got scared; I turned. It took me a while longer before I had mastered it.”
We decided to call it a night and hope for a better tomorrow. Chester put his arm around my waist, but I could still feel the tension between us.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s okay. It scared me — the thought of losing you again. You can tell me anything, Roe. I’ll be here always. Your knight and shining armor, remember?” He pulled me close.
Before long, we were asleep, but dawn always has a way of sneaking up on you. We were awake before any of us felt rested. Cale put out the fire.
“Put these on,” Chester said, tossing me some clothes out of his pack. I looked at him curiously. “Blacksmith apprentices are rarely women, so you’ve got to look like a man. Tie your hair back and pull up the hood.” He held the blanket with both hands and stretched it out behind his back. They both looked away, but I still felt a little awkward.
I put on the brown leather pants and was surprised to see that they almost fit. They were somewhat loose, but the belt did its job. The white shirt with the ruffled cuffs wasn’t half bad either. Chester had good taste, and I did’t feel completely ugly. I tied my hair back and put on the black hooded cape he handed me.
“Done,” I said.
He turned around, folded the blanket over his arm, and wrapped his arms around my waist. It was nice to feel his affection. We were all so concerned with Madeline’s escape that personal time hadn’t really been a priority.
“I want you to know I really care for you, Roe. You’re perhaps the only other person in Mezz who knows what it’s like to have lived in Terra not long ago. We remember having lives there and know the struggle of trying to live here. Whatever happens today, know I’ve never found something… or… someone worth risking the royals for until I met you. You’re genuine kindness draws me to you. You’re willing to risk your life for Madeline, and that inspires me. You’ve given me hope in this miserable darkness. Thank you for helping me live. I never felt alive in Mezzanine until now. Here. With you.” He leaned in and kissed me. My stomach twisted in knots. I could hardly breathe.
“Oh, come on,” Cale growled.
Chester pulled away slowly.
Cale took some ash and thoroughly rubbed it into both his long hair and beard.
“Hello Humbert. You’re right on time,” Cale said and patted his feathered head. Humbert docked himself there, and we all headed towards the gate. Our hoods and the early morning served as our disguises.
Two armed men stood on either side of the iron gate. The stone walls to Royal Court were easily fifteen-twenty feet tall. We couldn’t scale over them. The only way in was through these men.