Face the Music (A Brothers of Rock - GONE BY AUTUMN - Novel) (5 page)

Jocelyn shivered. She hated when Chad talked like that, because it meant he’d want something from her. There was a time when sleeping with Chad had been enjoyable. Now it was a mere chore, when it actually happened. He cared about money more than anything else, including spending alone time with Jocelyn.

She didn’t mind being ignored because she didn’t want Chad to touch her. But at the same time, she wanted to feel…
wanted. Needed. Beautiful.

She wanted someone to look at her like, well, the way Asher did outside. Sure, he was a famous musician who uses those same lines on every woman, but it was more attention than Chad had given Jocelyn in a long time.

Once the limo stopped, Chad slipped his hand down to Jocelyn’s hand. “Come on. Come upstairs with me tonight.”

Jocelyn forced a grin and a nod. She didn’t want to go upstairs with Chad. She didn’t want to go in his expensive apartment that he most certainly paid for and furnished with his paycheck from her business.

He pulled at Jocelyn and she slid from the backseat of the limo. She felt like whispering to the driver to wait for her, but Chad stepped in. He handed the driver some money and said something in his ear.

The driver then walked away.

Chad made her feel like a whore. Did he plan on sleeping with her and then kicking her out?

Her stomach flipped as Chad walked Jocelyn to the apartment.

Once they were inside, he shut the door and started to kiss her. His mouth was wide and aggressive. His tongue sloppy. His hands at her sides. When he groaned, he pressed forward. Jocelyn tried her best to stay with him during the kiss, but it was horrible. Just simply horrible.

Chad finally pulled away and Jocelyn took a much-needed breath. He took her by the hand and led the way to the bedroom. Chad sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes. He pulled at his tie and then waved for Jocelyn to come closer.

“Come here, baby,” he groaned in a drunken voice.

He thought he sounded smooth and romantic, but he sounded like a fool.

Chad touched her hips and ran his hands up over her shirt. When he touched her breasts, she wiggled and tried to move back. Chad laughed, thinking she was being playful.

“Take my tie off,” he said.

Jocelyn swallowed hard and reached for the tie. She slowly lifted it over Chad’s head and dropped it to the bed. He looked up at her with bloodshot eyes and Jocelyn suddenly had an idea.

“Lie back,” she whispered. She put her hands to Chad’s shoulders and pressed. She slowly climbed on the bed, on top of him.

“Yeah, that’s good,” Chad groaned.

Jocelyn straddled him and could feel that he was ready for her. She leaned forward, letting her hair fall in front of her. Chad’s eyes were wide for a second and then began to close.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “Close your eyes and relax.”

Chad touched her ass. He cupped her for a second and then his hands relaxed.

Jocelyn bit her lip and waited a few more seconds. When Chad let out the first snore, she knew it was her chance to get the hell out of there. She carefully moved off him and stood next to the bed. She watched him sleeping, his mouth open, snoring. He was dead drunk and that was fine with her.

As Jocelyn left the apartment, she felt an anger and pain inside her chest that wouldn’t go away. She suddenly wanted to scream at her father for never teaching her how a man should treat a woman. All he ever cared about was working and making money, which is why she assumed she had been attracted to Chad and his vision for her dream company. She didn't sign up to be taken advantage of.

The limo was still out front. The driver waiting.

“Ready, ma’am?” the driver asked.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” Jocelyn said.

“Oh… I…”

“Just so you know. I’m not that kind of person. I’m not going to be used like that.”

“Well, good for you then, ma’am.”

An hour later, Jocelyn was home in her own apartment. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it was much better than being with Chad.

With a glass of wine in her hand, Jocelyn bit her lip and walked to her desk. She sat down and moved pencils, papers, and sketches out of the way. She turned on her computer and started to search Gone by Autumn. She turned on the speakers and listened.

It was good.

Really good.

She recognized a couple of the songs from the radio and one from the show.

So Asher was telling the truth… he really is a rockstar…

Jocelyn sipped her wine as she turned the music up and closed her eyes.

*

Asher took his beer and went outside on the deck. He leaned over the railing, forcing himself to use both his elbows to rest on. There was a little discomfort in his left arm and hand, but it was definitely better than before. It was healing. That’s all that mattered. Maybe in another day or two he’d be able to strum a couple chords. The band had another show at The Jack in three nights.

Smiling, Asher made a promise to himself that it would be a memorable night.

He heard the door slide open and out came the sound of music playing. It quickly went away as the door shut.

Asher didn’t look back as a set of hands slid around his bare stomach. He’d ditched the shirt an hour ago, right before he and Steph jumped into bed the first time.

Her left hand moved down, her fingertips sliding into his pants and stopping. Her other hand climbed up towards his chest. She dug her nails into him, scratching a little, and then biting at his back.

To Asher, it was all the same routine. There was no emotion in any of it, just the high of feeling pleasured. Enjoying the moment, the climax, all that. But there was no emotion.

“You coming back inside?” Steph asked.

“Yeah,” Asher said. “Just collecting my thoughts.”

“Why’s that? What’s on your mind?”

Simple. Jocelyn. What a name. What a pretty face. What amazing eyes. Those sexy curves…

“The band and stuff.”

“What about?”

“Just stuff.” Asher slowly turned around. He looked down at Steph. Her hair was messy. Her eyes drunk. Her smile laced with lust. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

“I always worry,” Steph said. “Is there more to the story I need to know?”

“Nothing at all,” Asher said. “Just ready to get on stage and play.”

“Well, you were using your left hand before…”

Asher laughed. “Yeah, I was, wasn’t I? I’ll be playing guitar soon enough. Then I’ll feel whole again.”

“It means that much?”

“It means everything. Nothing makes me feel so right with the world.”

“It’s not my place… but the accident…”

“Nothing to talk about, Steph. It’s done. It’s over. Let everyone else figure it out. I just want to play guitar. Tour. Write music. Do my thing. I’m not going to stand on a pedestal in a suit and tie and advocate for something.”

“You could have been killed.”

“That’s the danger of this career,” Asher said with a grin. “I’m a man on the edge.”

“Mr. Badass.”

“Always.”

“Let’s go back inside,” Steph said.

“Actually, I’m kind of comfortable right here.” Asher raised an eyebrow.

“Well then,” Steph said. “I don’t want to ruin the moment. But maybe I can add to it…”

Before Asher could say anything else, Steph kissed his chest. He looked down and watched as Steph slowly eased her way down his body. She touched his jeans and quickly opened them. Asher took a deep breath and put his head back. He looked up to the sky and felt Steph starting to take care of him.

It felt good, really good.

Call it weird or whatever but Asher shut his eyes and saw Jocelyn standing before him. It was almost nice to feel something again.

(5)

Asher stared at the guitar as it rested against the stand. He looked around and double-checked that he was alone. That was the strangest thing about being a rockstar sometimes. Having the chance to be in a venue - no matter how big or small - without anyone else in it. It was empty and haunting. Almost like you could stand there and hear the echoing screams of previous shows.

But all Asher could do was stare at the guitar. He touched the headstock and sighed. He crouched down and grabbed it. With his eyes shut, he balanced it on his right leg and put his left hand to the neck. He opened his hand and tried to finger a chord. His left hand shook with fury. With his teeth gritted, Asher fought through the uncomfortable feeling and strummed the chord. He then opened his eyes and started to play a few notes with his fingers.

“Where’s Asher?” Ryan’s voice boomed.

Asher hurried to put the guitar back on its stand and stood up. He stretched his left hand, swallowing the pain. He stared out to The Jack. There was someone behind the bar, setting up.

“I’m up here,” Asher yelled.

Ryan appeared on stage and looked around. “What are you doing up here?”

“Wanting it back.”

“Soon,” Ryan said. “Come on, man, have a drink with me. Raine is out of town right now. I’m losing my mind. I need a distraction.”

“Okay,” Asher said. “I could use a drink.”

Ryan put an arm around Asher and they walked off the stage. “How was the reporter? She give you a story to tell?”

Asher laughed. “Aren’t you the one that fell in love with a reporter?”

“Yeah, I did. Are you in love?”

“Nope. Far from it. She’ll write her story and it’ll be a big deal. I don’t think it’ll take care of anything though.”

“Probably not,” Ryan said. “But it had to have been nice to get that shit off your chest.”

“Of course,” Asher said.

The rest of the band was backstage. They all had a few drinks as The Jack opened and quickly came to life. Music was on, the bar filled up, and the floor was jam packed in all of twenty minutes.

JT was last to show, coming through the backdoor with a guitar case in his hand. He put it down and waved.

“Get over here, man,” Asher said. “Have a beer with us."

JT joined the band. They had a beer and Asher pulled JT to the side. To explain his plan for the night.

The band took the stage less than an hour later. The crowd was as loud as the other night. They were so into the music and the show. Asher did the same thing, standing at the back of the stage. He was able to see the band and crowd, but they were not able to see him.

Again, Asher watched JT jam out. He hung to the side, staying out of the Gone by Autumn light. The band was on fire though. Playing hard and fast. Running through song after song after song. It was obvious they were all eager and ready to get on stage somewhere else. Back on the road.

Asher looked at his left hand and sighed.

The band finished one of their latest hits and Asher snuck around to the side of the stage. He grabbed an acoustic guitar and looked at one of the techs.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” he asked Asher.

“Going to play fucking guitar,” Asher said.

He stepped up on the side of the stage as JT was walking toward him.

“Ready for this?” JT asked.

“Yeah,” Asher said. “Just cover me, man, okay?”

“I got it.”

JT grabbed an acoustic also.

Tanner did the same and his jaw almost hit the floor when he saw Asher holding a guitar.

“What the…” Tanner asked.

“Get on stage,” Asher said.

Tanner walked by Ryan and said something. Ryan looked over at Asher and smiled.

“We’re going to slow things down a little,” Ryan said. “But I think we have a surprise for everyone.”

Asher felt someone tugging at him. He turned and Sam stood there, wide eyed.

“What the hell?” he yelled.

“I’m a rockstar, Sam,” Asher said. “I can’t help myself.”

“Can you play?”

“We’ll find out.”

Asher took the stage before Ryan could say anything about Asher’s return. When the crowd saw Asher on stage with a guitar strapped and ready to go, they went wild. Asher strutted right up to the mic, nudging Ryan out of the way.

“Hey!” he yelled. “I think I’m ready to play!”

The response was electric.

Asher nodded and smiled.

“Hey, Jimmy,” Asher yelled. “Do me a favor, man. Get some house lights on. I want to see everyone. Let’s slow this thing down for a second.”

The lights slowly came on. Asher could see every face. From the far corner tables to the bar. As he took the sight in, he froze on one face at the end of the bar.

Jocelyn.

She had a drink in her hand, and next to her was the same jerk from the other night. He was talking with two other people. But even from where Asher stood, he could see how deflated Jocelyn looked right now. She stared into her drink, slowly stirring it.

He shook his head.

“Okay,” he said. “Is everyone ready?”

The crowd cheered.

“No,” Asher yelled. “That’s not good enough for me. I want everyone looking at me. Right now!”

He waited until Jocelyn looked at him. It was impossible to see her pretty eyes from the distance, but it was fun to imagine all the little features that made her so stunning.

“Let’s do this,” Asher said.

He stepped back and looked at Tanner. Then he turned his head to JT and gave a nod.

Ryan went to the mic and ran a hand through his hair. “This… uh… okay. Take it away, Asher.”

Asher forced his hand around the neck of the guitar and strummed a chord. It hurt, but he got through it. Then came the second chord. And the third. Asher looked to Tanner and smiled.

Playing through the first verse and into the chorus was simply hell. Asher had to walk toward Blake a few times to hide the pain on his face. But he didn’t stop playing once. And when it came time to solo, he simply turned and looked JT, giving the
okay
for the guitarist to play Asher’s part. And JT did so flawlessly.

The entire three-song set took no more than fifteen minutes, but for Asher, it felt like an hour of someone smacking the back of his hand with a damn hammer. When he finished the last song, he took the guitar off and held it up in the air.

Everyone at The Jack was watching and cheering. Well, everyone except that guy Jocelyn was with. That’s where Asher’s eyes went first. Right to her. She was standing, smiling, applauding.