Fairytale Lost (9 page)

L
ukas arrived
at Emmalyn’s house with a big bag of Italian food to act as a buffer. Food had always been a good way to soften Emmy up.

“Wait, can’t call her Emmy,” he reminded himself. He rang the bell praying she wasn’t waiting on the other side with a weapon. Lukas held the food in front of his face as she opened the door.

“Peace offering,” he said before she could fuss. Snatching it away as she reached for the bag, he teased, “You have to let me in to get the food.”

“Smells like Italian,” she said skeptically, sniffing loudly.

“Your favorite,” he replied, eyebrows wiggling in invitation.

Em cocked her head to one side and crossed her arms over her chest. “And what might that be, pray tell?”

Lukas’s smile slipped just a notch. He prayed silently that his memory was as strong as he thought. “Shrimp parmesan?”

She didn’t move, with the exception of raising a single eyebrow. “Are you asking or telling me?”

“Telling. Now move so I can come in. The food is getting cold, and you hate cold food.”

Emmalyn narrowed her eyes. “Damn it,” she thought, “he remembered.” Sighing loudly and dramatically, she stepped aside and let him in.

Smiling widely, Lukas walked in and headed straight for the kitchen. He was unpacking the bag as Em walked in. He noticed the slight curve of her stomach and was transfixed. Emmalyn shifted under his stare.

“What?” she asked, checking her clothing for stains or holes.

“You’re starting to show. I guess I wasn’t really prepared for that.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah.” Suddenly very self conscious, Em sat on a stool at the counter as Lukas laid their food out.

They ate in silence. Emmalyn couldn’t deny that this was a scene from her dreams many a night. When she ended things with Lukas, her heart was broken, and she was angry. She’d spent so many of her days waiting for her dad, only to be disappointed, and she couldn’t and wouldn’t willingly do that again. But that didn’t mean she didn’t love Lukas desperately. She did then, and she still did. She would have sworn she could feel the ice around her heart melt just a bit.

After their lunch, they went into the living room. Em shifted around a bit, trying to get comfortable, but Lukas kept staring at her stomach and making it difficult for her to settle down. Lukas’s first statement nearly caused Em to faint. “I think we should get married,” he quietly tossed out.

“Have you lost what little brains you have left?” Emmalyn was incredulous. One night of sex and now he was actually suggesting they get married. She didn’t know whether to laugh or slap him. “I thought we were going to have a serious discussion. Just because you knocked me up and remembered my favorite food does not mean all is well between us.”

“Em, I want our kid to have both parents. I really think we would be good parents.”

Emmalyn sat in a chair and put her feet up on the coffee table. She was staring intently at her nails when she asked, “What does your fiancee think about you wanting to marry another woman? I know you don’t have enough focus to be a bigamist.”

“That isn’t funny, Emmalyn.”

“I wasn’t joking, Lukas.”

Lukas stood and began to pace the floor, trying to determine the best way to proceed forward. He needed to be meticulous in how he delivered his message to Em, or risk having the entire situation blow up in his face. Weighing the pros and cons, he figured he was doomed regardless, so he went straight for the heart of the matter.

“After you came to the house, Sunny left me. I couldn’t give her a sufficient reason for not having told you about her or our engagement. She thought that meant that I didn’t love her.”

“Do you? Do you love her?” Emmalyn didn’t want to know the answer to that, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking. Unwillingly, she held her breath.

“Not the way I love you.” There. He’d said it. And then he waited for her response.

Her eyes pierced him straight through. “And why didn’t you tell me about her? It couldn’t have just been the sex.” Her fingers fumbled over an invisible piece of string.

He ran his hand grimly over his face then he sighed deeply. “Emmalyn, please. I don’t think I can handle much more honesty today. I can accept that us getting married isn’t a good idea right now.” Her head popped up, but he pressed on. “But, the fact is, I’m not engaged anymore, and I want to be a part of our child’s life.” He paused, unsure about pressing his luck any further. He decided to lay all his cards on the table. “I want to be a part of your life.”

Emmalyn fought the rising anger in her mind and her heart. “Jesus Christ, Lukas, you don’t get it. You never did. I always thought you were oblivious to what I needed, but I don’t know if that was the case. If you can’t be honest with yourself about this, how can I believe that you are being honest with yourself about the baby? I want you to really think about what you know about me, our history, and whether or not you can be there for this child the way it will need you to. Because if you can’t, I don’t want you anywhere near either of us.”

“Em — “ He broke off when he realized Emmalyn was fighting tears.

“Lukas I’m really tired. Can we do this some other time?”

“Of course. Emmalyn, I’m not trying to hurt you, and I certainly don’t intend to hurt our kid.”

“You never intend, but it always seems to happen, doesn’t it?”

She went to the front door and opened it. She couldn’t make eye contact with him as he walked out without another word.

L
ukas drove away
from Emmalyn’s house with his mind whirling at a hundred miles an hour. Emmalyn was right, and it was eating him alive. She and the baby deserved better than what he’d given her the first time around. He wasn’t sure how, but he needed to figure out how to answer her and quickly.

He pulled up at his father’s house and was happily surprised to find his brother’s bright orange muscle car parked in the driveway next to his dad’s old Oldsmobile. Lukas shook his head at the old but well-maintained car. Lukas had offered to buy his father a new car many times over the years, but Pop insisted there was nothing wrong with the old car. He grabbed his duffle bag from the passenger seat and made his way to the door.

Using his key, he let himself in the house. As usual, his father and brother were in the middle of a loud, angry argument, though Lukas couldn’t quite tell what it was about. He dropped his bag by the door, and shook his head before following the sound of the yelling through the house to the back porch.

“Hey, hey, hey, what the hell are you two fighting about now?” he broke in as he stepped out to the sunroom attached to the back of Pop’s house.

“Lukas! What are you doing here?” Pop asked in surprise.

“Hey, bro, nice of you to come visit me,” Jaxon smiled.

“Oh, shut up, boy. He ain’t here to see your trifling ass!” Pop swiped at Jaxon.

“Nice to know somethings never change.” He reached down and slapped his dad’s shoulder before hugging his brother. It had been over a year since they’d seen one another.

Jaxon, a chemical engineer and commissioned officer in the United States Marine Corps, had been deployed overseas for the past eight months. They didn’t know exactly where he’d been sent, but every time something blew up in one of the countries the United States was at war with, he had a feeling Jaxon was behind it. Jaxon and their father had never seen eye to eye on anything. Visits home usually involved some kind of blow up between the two. “How long you home?”

“Two months. Apparently, I like my job too much for comfort. I’m on ordered rest and relaxation.”

“Nice.”

“Did you bring Sunny with you?” Pop interjected.

“Uh, no, Pop. She stayed in San Diego.”

“I like her, bro. She is fine! Yo, she got a sister? A cute cousin or something?”

“Looks aren’t everything, Jaxon,” Lukas said cryptically.

“The hell they ain’t!” Lukas and Jaxon burst into laughter, but their father didn’t join in.

“Lukas. What happened? What are you doing in North Carolina?” Pop cut through their laughter.

“Damn, Pop, can’t Lukas come into the state without you being grouchy?”

“I’m talking to your brother, not you, so shut your mouth.” Pop shook his pointer finger at Jaxon, and the three were transported ten years into the past.

Jaxon’s eyes darted in confusion back and forth between his father and brother. “I’ve missed something here. Pop is always happy when his favorite son is home. Unless… Lukas has messed up. Yes! I am so glad I’m here to witness this one.”

Pop rolled his eyes and huffed loudly. “Jaxon, go to your room if you can’t behave like a human being. Lukas, start talking.”

“Did he just send me to my room? I’m a United States Marine Corps officer. You can’t just order me around like a kid.”

“Not in this house. I’m the captain of this ship!”

Lukas and Jaxon exchanged looks. “Should I tell him I’m ranked higher than a captain or what?”

“Nah, it won’t help.”

“God damn it, Lukas!”

Lukas sighed and sat down on one of the loungers. He closed his eyes and spoke, “Sunny left me.”

“What? Why?” Pop pushed when Lukas refused to explain further.

“Well, Emmalyn came to San Diego to see me. I wasn’t home, but Sunny was.” Lukas sighed as he recounted the interaction between the two women. He cringed when he recalled the look on Em’s face as she walked out of his house.

“Oh snap! Cat fight.”

Lukas gave his brother a dirty look. Jaxon recognized the line and promptly stepped back across it. He knew Emmalyn was still a somewhat sore issue between his brother and father.

“Why the hell is she stalking you clear across the country?” Pop looked like he was about to have a heart attack. His eyes were bulged with anger.

“She wasn’t stalking me, Pop. She…” He couldn’t say it. He did not want to tell his father that he’d gotten his ex-girlfriend pregnant. But he may as well get it over with. It wasn’t the first ass-chewing he’d gotten that day, and it wouldn’t be the last. “She’s pregnant. She came to California to tell me.”

“WHAT?” Jaxon and Pop exclaimed in unison. Lukas didn’t bother opening his eyes. He knew the look each was giving just as clearly as if he was looking at them. He cracked an eye when Jaxon began to laugh. All he could do was sigh.

“Pop, I don’t need a lecture on this. I’m going to take care of my kid.”

“And what about Emmalyn?” Pop demanded.

“She doesn’t want me. Hell, if she had her way, I’d go back to California and cease to exist. She didn’t know about Sunny.”

“Damn, bro, that is fucked up. I know how much you loved her.”

It was more than Lukas expected from his brilliant but very immature younger brother. The two brothers were exactly ten months apart. Jaxon and Lukas had been toddlers when their mother committed suicide. They relied on one another for support and always had each other’s backs. They were complete opposites but loved each other unconditionally.

“That girl is ruining your life. Mark my words.” Angry beyond words, Pop stormed back into the house.

L
ater that night
, as they had done countless times while growing up, Jaxon and Lukas snuck out of the house and went down into the woods. They’d had hundreds of talks down near the creek that ran through the woods at the edge of their father’s land. The spot was as peaceful as it always was. Their father had fielded several offers to buy the land over the years, but he was content to stay right where he was.

“Pop’s wrong. I don’t think Emmalyn is going to ruin your life.”

“Thanks. I needed to hear that,” Lukas admitted, poking the ground with a stick he’d picked up during their walk.

“I think you’re ruining your life.” Jaxon had always been the academic in the family. Lukas took a while to find his footing and career. Jaxon, on the other hand, had a plan from the start—college then the Marines. He’d wanted to be a military officer since he was a kid, and it was the only thing Jaxon took seriously. Everything else was just a colossal joke.

“How so?”

“Are you sure you and Emmalyn can make it this time? You were a mess when she dumped you the last time.”

“I told you, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s complete bullshit, and we both know it, so be honest with me. Or are you still lying to yourself where she’s concerned?”

Lukas stared at his brother. Damned if that wasn’t exactly what Emmalyn had told him earlier that day.

“I can see from your face that you are, in fact, still very much in denial.” Jaxon laughed. His brother’s habit of living life by the seat of his pants left no room for introspection. He shook his head and laughed again.

“I had this exact conversation with Emmalyn earlier today. She told me that I wasn’t being honest with her. I mean, I thought I was. She said I didn’t get. She was right. I don’t get it.” Lukas tossed the stick toward the water. It made a brief splash before sinking into the creek. He rolled his head on his shoulders, hoping for an epiphany. It didn’t come.

Jaxon stared at his brother. He didn’t want to get involved in whatever Lukas had going on, but the pure misery on Lukas’s face forced Jaxon to step in. “When you and Emmalyn were dating, you put anyone and everyone before her. You loved her, no doubt, but it didn’t take much for you to set her aside to help someone else—especially Pop. And you know how Pop feels about Em.”

Lukas frowned. “Emmalyn didn’t need me to tend her. She’s never been that kind of girl.”

“You’re such a dumbass,” Jaxon mocked. “Every woman is that kind of girl. You can’t tell people you love them, and then not think enough about them to show up when they need you. So the question is—why would you treat the woman you love that way? Why wouldn’t you make her your first priority?”

Understanding began to dawn on Lukas. Jaxon smiled at the look of astonishment on Lukas’s face before continuing. “Pop always told us that all we had was each other and that no woman should come between us. I turned that into focusing on my career. So, yeah, I’m busting ass in the Marines, but I go home alone every night. And you took the one person you love more than anything and treated her like some side chick.”

“Fuck. I didn’t see it.” Lukas punched Jaxon in the arm. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something before?”

Jaxon laughed hard. “What makes you think I knew that all along? The Marines sent me home because blowing up people and places no longer bothered me. I became a machine. I had to see a therapist. Stupid fucking new Marine Corps. Wanna make sure we aren’t all going to shoot up a bunch of civilians or embarrass the Corps somehow. It was with the therapist that I understood all this.”

Lukas and Jaxon sat quietly, stewing in their own thoughts. The brothers had been through so much, together and individually. It was nice to be able to just sit and talk again.

“I do love her, you know. I want to be with her and the baby,” Lukas said.

“I know. But Emmalyn isn’t going to listen to a word you have to say because you’ve said it all before. If you can’t be what you’ve said you’ll be, you should give up now.”

“Hell, I’m not even sure that’ll work with her.”

Lukas and Jaxon sat silent for a minute. Jaxon smiled at Lukas, and Lukas immediately sighed. He knew that look. Jaxon was about to say something stupid. He didn’t disappoint.

“So, Sunny’s single now? Mind if I look her up?”