Faith and Fidelity (20 page)

Vic dropped in for a few with Moses and Kalee. He couldn't remember a word of the conversation. Serena came by wondering if he was up to seeing Helena but midway through the visit he'd drifted off and when he woke up, Matt was sitting in the pleather chair, reading the
Daily News.

Then he fell asleep again.

Now it was almost dinnertime. He wasn't expecting any visitors for a few hours, with Matt running home to shower and his kids not expected for at least two hours. So that meant he had entirely too much time to worry. He played the conversation with Josie over and over in his head, until he could feel his blood churning.

How dare she? How fucking dare she?

He couldn't even form a coherent thought. Couldn't feel sympathy— she had lost her daughter. But hell, he'd lost his wife. And he was raising his kids alone. That wasn't easy. But he was doing a fine job and she could just mind her own business.

His heart was pounding. What if... No, he couldn't even think of the possibility.

A gentle knock on the door distracted him from his morbid thoughts.

“Come in,” he croaked, not at all sure the person on the other side could hear him.

He heard little bangs on the other side of the door, then it pushed open. He strained to see who it was...

Helena.

In a wheelchair, wearing a hospital gown, what looked to be half a straitjacket, and a really ugly robe.

“Shit.”

Evan couldn't help but smile.

She banged into the door as she maneuvered into the room with her left arm. “Goddamnit.”

“Need some help there?”

“Shut up.”

“Shouldn't a nurse... ”

“I'm AWOL. They said I should stay in bed.”

“Ah.”

She managed to get through the door, blowing a wayward strand of hair out of her eyes. Evan could see they were a little glassy, and she was holding her right side gingerly in the seat.

With a triumphant sigh she rolled her wheelchair one-handed up to Evan's bed, bumping into the rails.

“Hey partner,” she said with a wide smile. “How are you doing?”

Evan answered her with an even bigger grin, reaching down with his hand to grab hers. “Better. It's great to see you, Helena. You okay? How's your shoulder?”

He could see her go to shrug but then think better of it. “Formerly dislocated. Currently... uh... located? You'll have to excuse me, I'm very, very high on some fluidy stuff they've been pumping into my arm.”

Ahhh. He could relate.

“So you're legally high and your shoulder's okay. That much I'm clear on.”

She nodded happily. “And you? Mom said you were okay— no permanent damage.”

“That door amounted to a bunch of splinters in my chest. I'm okay.”

Helena's eyes suddenly filled with tears and she laid her head down on their clasped hands.

Ignoring the rapid mood swing— chalking it up to the drugs— Evan spoke soothingly. “Helena, I'm fine. Really. So are you. And that asshole's in jail. Everything is okay.” He spoke soothingly, squeezing her hand in his.

“I thought... I thought he killed you. I just heard... this... explosion. I knew it was a shotgun... ” She shuddered against the side of the bed. “You went down and I drew my weapon... ”

“Shhh... ”

“No, it's okay.” She looked up at him, her face wet and splotchy. “He blew out of that door like he was possessed or something. Slammed into me as I was yelling for him to freeze and then... we went right down the stairs... I don't remember everything— I whacked my head pretty well on the way down.”

Evan managed to reach over with his other hand and pat her face tenderly. “Good thing you have such a hard head.”

Helena's face contorted for a moment, trying to stay serious but a smirk wormed its way out.

“Jerk.”

He pinched her cheek. “How long you in here for?”

“I get out tomorrow. How about you?” She sniffled loudly.

“End of the week? I'm going to be out on leave for four weeks. Uhhh. I can't imagine just lying around for all that time.”

“Are you going home? How are you going to take care of yourself? I can't imagine they want you running all over the place.”

Evan felt that old familiar blush creeping up his face. “Uh... Matt's taking some time... ”

Helena bit her lip, a sly twinkle in her eyes. “Hmmm... ”

“Stop it. He's just helping me out... ”

“Oh, I'm sure.”

Evan roasted in embarrassment. Helena chuckled.

“You really are high.”

“And you are the color of a tomato, Evan. Calm down before they run in here with a crash cart!”

Staring at the ceiling Evan realized he was being ridiculous. Of all the people in his life, Helena knew about him and Matt, she was fine with it. Why couldn't he just relax?

He sighed. “He insisted. And I'm really thankful because I don't know what else I'd do... ”

He gave her a stern look. “Don't tell him I said that.”

“Macho stubborn pride in play here?”

“Yes.”

“Hmmmm... ” She smiled at him. “You two have it in spades.” Helena readjusted herself in the chair, suddenly looking a little tired. “It's going to be crazy around that house with the kids... ”

Evan felt himself tense up. “My in-laws have the kids. They insisted.” His voice was flat.

“Oh.” Helena squeezed Evan's hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. My mother-in-law pissed me off yesterday. I hate not being able to take care of my kids right now. They don't need this sort of thing in their lives, not when it was just starting to feel... . “He let out a shaky breath. “Starting to feel slightly normal, like we had it under control.”

“Hey, hey. This is just a little setback. Your kids are going to be okay. They're with their grandparents, they'll get a little spoiled, they'll come home in what— a week or two? In the meantime, you rest and do everything the doctor's tell you so you'll be 100 percent for them when they do come home.”

Evan nodded, shot her a tender smile. “Thanks, Helena. And I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would've done... ”

She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “No problem guy. I'm hardheaded remember? And you have... a very strong chest. Like Superman.”

For some reason that struck them both as funny and they started to laugh quietly. Helena snorted and it was pretty much over after that.
Too many drugs
, Evan thought. Too many drugs and too much stress and pain and worry and this is what happens. Two rational adults with tears streaming down their faces for absolutely no reason.

Helena was holding her arm. “Oh ow!” she cried out, then giggled harder. “Ow, ow, ow!”

Evan had his hand on his chest. He felt the same way— it hurt like hell but man, he needed to laugh.

The door opened at that very moment and Matt peeked his head in.

“What the hell?”

Neither one could get a word out. Another snort from Helena and both were off again.

Helena was rolled back into her room after she and Evan became somewhat coherent and realized just how sore they were. Matt helped a nurse deposit her into bed— she was asleep before he walked out the door— then headed back to Evan.

Matt pushed his way into the room, smiling at the memory of the two partners, red-faced and teary-eyed, giggling helplessly over what he determined to be absolutely nothing even slightly amusing.

Vic Wolkowski was standing next to Evan's bed.

Matt stopped in the doorway. Vic and Evan looked toward him— both seemed a bit wary.

Me too
, thought Matt.

“Hey, Vic.” He nodded to his friend, ducked into the room. His eyes darted around, finally rested on Evan.

“Hey, Matty. How you doing?”

“Good thanks,” was his quick response, feeling slightly uncomfortable in Vic's presence.

Vic cleared his throat awkwardly. “Just wanted to check on you guys before I headed home. You're... ah... looking better already, Evan.”

“Thanks, Vic.”

“Is there anything you two need? I could stop at the store or something before I leave... ”

Silence. Matt couldn't think of what to say.

Evan shook his head, saying, “Thanks, Vic. I can't think of anything.”

“Okay then, I'm off. You fellas have a good night.”

“Thanks for coming,” Evan said.

“Night.” Matt spoke quietly, feeling like a moron. Vic's shoulders were hunched a bit and he obviously felt terrible. “Can I walk you out?”

“Uh— sure. That would be... great.”

Matt paused to give Evan's blanket covered leg a quick squeeze.

“I'll be right back, okay?”

Evan winked. “Go on. I'll wait here.”

Matt laughed, his tension easing. “Good man.” He caught Vic's eye and pushed open the door.

Vic walked out, giving Matt a little nod. “I'll stop by tomorrow, Evan. Night.”

“Night, Vic. Thanks.”

Giving Evan a little wave, Matt let the door close. He and Vic stood there for a moment, looking everywhere but at each other. Matt cleared his throat. Vic looked up, then away.

“So, uh... Evan's looking much better. Even since yesterday,” Vic said awkwardly.

Matt nodded in agreement.

“When is he going home?”

“End of the week.”

“Hmm.” Vic stuck his hands in his pockets. “You let me know if he needs anything.”

“Thanks.”

Matt's insides hurt. He couldn't believe that after more than fifteen years of friendship, he and Vic were standing here with nothing of substance to say. The worst part was that they couldn't even look each other in the eye.

Finally, Vic sighed. “Listen, Matty, I'm sorry if I did or said something wrong the other day. If I reacted the wrong way... all I can say is I was shocked... I... ”

Matt held up his hand. Jesus, this was ridiculous.

“You didn't do anything wrong, Vic... It's just a weird situation.”

That could apparently be agreed on, because Vic nodded heartily.

“I don't want things to be like this,” he said, making sweeping motions with his hands.

“They won't be, Vic. Really. We just need to get... used to things. Right? It's weird, it's different, we're both a little freaked... it'll be okay. We're fine.”

Matt let out a long held breath. Vic looked like a weight had been lifted.

“I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll come by, see if you need anything.”

Nodding, Matt smiled, trying to convey to Vic that they were “okay.”

“Night, Vic.”

Happy now, Vic extended his hand, shaking Matt's heartily. “Night, Matty.”

Matt watched him walk down the hallway. Okay. This was good. Fine. Being mature, talking to people about his... relationship. With a man. Everything was good.

Just fine.

He felt the tight pull of tension between his shoulder blades, but shrugged it off. Then he turned and went back to Evan.

Helena left the hospital on Wednesday, headed for the guest room of her mother's house. She didn't look thrilled when she visited Evan to say good-bye. Much as she loved her mother...

“It'll be fine,” Evan whispered as Matt and Serena chatted in the doorway. “She'll make you big meals, fuss over you a lot, and it'll make her feel good.”

Helena stuck her tongue out at him. “You can be magnanimous— you're going home with your cute boyfriend.”

Evan blushed. “Helena... ”

“You get takeout... sex... action movies... I'm going to have to watch Rogers and Hammerstein musicals and eat broccoli.”

“Good-bye, Helena,” Evan said loudly.

Serena came over to the bed with a smile. “Ready to go, dear?”

Evan grinned. “Have fun, Helena.”

They said their good-byes, Helena shooting daggers at Evan until the door closed.

“What was all that about?” Matt asked, sitting on the edge of Evan's bed, his eyes warm.

Evan chuckled. “Helena thinks I lucked out with my recovery situation.”

Matt stroked his fingers along Evan's arm, eliciting little shivers from his lover, stilling his laughter.

“And why is that?” he asked smoothly.

“She's jealous I'm going home with you... Thinks it'll be more fun than hanging out with her mother.” Evan said softly.

“Mmmm... ”

“I think she's right.”

Evan felt that roller-coaster feeling come over him, that same feeling he'd been having around Matt for weeks. He knew the kiss was coming and it still shocked him, how much he wanted it.

He didn't wait long.

Matt pressed his mouth against Evan's, at first just brushing their lips, then dipping down again to taste him deeply.

The sense memories flooded through Evan's body. Every kiss, every touch. The rush of emotion, of lust, overtook any small fearful part of him. Evan reached his hand up to touch the back of Matt's head. He threaded his fingers through the soft hair, pulled his mouth closer.

Matt responded immediately, groaning his approval into Evan's mouth.

He pulled away, taking in a big breath and leaning his forehead against Evan's.

“When do you get the fuck out of here?”

“Friday morning,” Evan managed to get out.

Matt moaned.

With a small laugh, Evan tightened his grip on the back of Matt's neck. He tilted his head, angling his lips to tease Matt. “I need my rest.”

“Right now?!”

“No you idiot... ”

Matt made a sound, halfway between a snort and a sigh, and leaned back into the kiss.

Evan saw his kids twice before he left the hospital. They arrived precisely at the time he told his mother-in-law and seemed tearfully relieved to crawl into bed and give him hugs. Josie waited in the hallway, which was fine with Evan. He had absolutely nothing to say to her at this point.

The kids were still miserable about not being able to come home— Miranda being the most vocal. Evan swore they'd be home in just one week, and then they'd start preparing for Christmas.

Temporarily mollified, they left the room when visiting hours ended, making him promise he'd call them every night.

Choking back unwelcome tears, Evan watched the door close. He stared up at the ceiling and counted the hours until morning, when Matt was coming to get him. Home, then seven days recuperating and finally the kids would be home.