Faithless Angel (34 page)

Last night had brought another revelation, as well. Jesse wasn’t ready for heaven, for an eternity of light. He wanted a lifetime with Faith, and there was only one way for him to have that.

He’d never considered it before, because he’d been haunted, but now … Now he was at peace with himself, and Faith no longer needed a miracle to restore her hope in life. He’d seen the proof yesterday when she’d searched so diligently for Daniel. Her faith had already been renewed. She was returning to her old self, her responsibilities. She didn’t need a miracle to urge her on the right path. She was already there.

He shut off the water, pulled the shower curtain aside, and reached for a towel. Dripping, he crossed the tiled floor, stopping in front of the bathroom mirror. His eyes flickered. Light. Although clothed in flesh and blood, he still wasn’t an ordinary man. Not completely. Not yet.

But he could fix that, he thought, glancing through the open doorway at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. It was already late afternoon, today was the day. The anniversary of his death. He either delivered the miracle before midnight, or forfeited his chance at heaven and lived out his remaining days here on earth.

Gone was the urgency Jesse had always felt, the internal clock ticking his chance away. He wasn’t
anxious because he knew what he was going to do, or rather what he wasn’t going to do. As warm and comforting as heaven had felt, it paled in comparison to the warmth in Faith’s eyes. The hunger. The tenderness. The love.

Dammit, he couldn’t leave her. He wouldn’t. He would stay with her, love her with all his heart, make her happy and hopeful and all the things she should be. He could do it himself, without a miracle.

At least he told himself that, swore it with every bit of determination he had. He would be everything to her—friend, lover, pillar of strength—and it would be enough.
He
would be enough.

With that vow firmly in mind, Jesse Savage dropped to his knees one final time.

“Jesse!” Faith stood at the top of the stairs leading to the garage apartment and pounded on the door. “I know you’re in there! Open up!” She pounded harder. “Dammit, I said open up—”

The door swung wide. Clad only in a fluffy white towel draped around his waist, Jesse filled the doorway. Water trickled down his bare torso through the dark hair covering his chest.

In the bright light of day he seemed even darker, more mysterious….

Dead
.

She swallowed. “I know about that night.” Her voice was shaky. “About what happened to you. You’re … You’re supposed to be …” She couldn’t make herself say the word. But she didn’t have to.

He knew.

His gaze caught hers, and his dark eyes were shuttered. The specks of gold that always flared whenever he looked at her had dimmed.

He wore no expression, his face a collection of
sharp angles and planes. A day’s growth of beard covered his jaw, crept down his neck. His wet hair had been slicked back, curling down his neck, just above his shoulders. He adjusted his grip on the door handle, the movement rippling the muscles in his arm and shoulder.

He’s just a man
, she told herself. A
powerful, attractive, sinfully sexy man. But just a man
.

Suddenly an entire day of searching at the library, staring at microfiche records, seemed like a hazy dream, and a smile tugged at her lips. “This is crazy. I can’t believe I’m standing here about to say what I’m going to say. I mean, it’s so impossible.”

“Anything is possible if you believe.”

She gave him a pointed stare. “And if you don’t?”

“I’m here, Faith. Real, whether you believe it or not.”

She tried to swallow past the sudden lump in her throat. “But you can’t be. You’re …” She swallowed again. “You were murdered.”

He didn’t deny the fact. He merely held her gaze, his dark eyes probing into hers. “I’m not dead.”

She gave a quivering smile. “Of course not. I mean, I know that. You’re standing right in front of me.” She touched him then, as if to reassure herself that he was real. Warm muscle met her palm. So warm and …
alive
.

Hysterical laughter bubbled on her lips. To think she’d actually come here to confront him and accuse him of dying. Of being dead.
Dead
, for heaven’s sake!

But the evidence stayed rooted in her mind, and even while she tried to dismiss the thoughts as bogus, she couldn’t. Not until Jesse reassured her with his own mouth. Then she would trust him. She
would believe. When she heard the truth straight from him.

“I’ve been doing some research.”

He nodded.

“I was looking at old newspapers. After last night …” She licked her suddenly dry lips. Her gaze caught his. “Jesse, I went to City Hall, and to the library, to try to find some record of you.”

“I was born in Restoration.”

“I know that. City Hall didn’t have a birth certificate, but they had …” She swallowed and tried again. “They had a death certificate.” Her gaze collided with his and the words poured from her lips. “You died from several stab wounds exactly one year ago today.”

“It wasn’t my time to go.”

She shook her head, trying to clear it. She’d expected him to say the account was wrong, the death certificate forged. That he was part of the Witness Protection Program and had assumed the real Jesse Savage’s identity. Or that maybe he really was Jesse Savage, now a criminal running from the law, who’d needed to fake his death to evade justice. Or …

“What are you telling me? You didn’t die that night? The newspapers were wrong? The death certificate is a fake?”

“I didn’t say that.”

She threw up her hands. “You’re not
saying
anything. Yes or no. Did you die?” She couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth. Obviously he hadn’t died. He was alive and well and standing right in front of her.

“Yes.”

The word thundered through her head, shaking her sanity and sending her reality into a tailspin. This wasn’t happening.

“You mean yes, the newspapers and death certificate were wrong?”

“No, I mean I did die that night.”

He grabbed her hands, but she pulled away, afraid that if she touched him, she might want to believe his ridiculous explanation. She pushed past him into the apartment and crossed the room to gaze out the window. “This is crazy. It can’t be for real.”

“It is,” he said, shutting the door and coming up behind her. But he didn’t touch her. He simply stood there, so close, so warm, so … alive.

“You remember that guy we met up with last night outside the bar?”

She nodded, her attention fixed on the window. She stared at the roof of the shelter, while her mind flashed back to the rage she’d seen in Jesse’s eyes, the anger holding his body tight.

“He was the one.”

She whirled. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

She backed away from him, her mouth open, soundless for several seconds. “He—he was the one? The … the one who
killed
you?” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t understand this. If he killed you then how can you still be here? What are you? My imagination? Some sort of ghost? A devil? An—”

“—angel,” he finished for her. “Sort of.”

She blinked. “Sort of?”

He stared at her. “Do you believe in Fate?”

She shrugged, clasping her trembling hands in front of her. “I guess so. I never really thought about it.”

“Not it. Her. I did die that night, but it wasn’t my time to go. It was an accident of Fate. She made a mistake, took me too soon; so here I am now, flesh
and blood, with another chance to live out my life. I didn’t want that chance at first, but now I do.”

“Let me get this straight. There’s a preordained time to die, and you died too soon?” He nodded. “You were shortchanged?” He nodded again. “So God—”

“It’s a bright light,” he cut in. “I don’t know exactly what it is….”

“Okay, so this light gave you a second chance to live here until your time does come?”

He nodded.

She shook her head. “You really expect me to believe all this?”

“You already do.” He stared deep into her eyes, into her soul, and saw the truth.

You already do
. The words whispered through her head. His words. Their words. They were linked, connected by some invisible force. The same force that had brought him back here. To her.

“To save you,” he said, reading the frantic thoughts racing through her head. “You’re a good person, Faith, and that’s rare in this day and age. They couldn’t stand to lose you.”

“They?”

“The voices in the light. They didn’t want to lose you. Fate had to correct her mistake, so I was sent to you. You were lost, Faith, and I was to help you find your way.”

She inched to the side and backward, and came up against the wall. Leaning back, she splayed her fingers against the cool wood, needing to feel something real. Jesse wasn’t real, and this couldn’t be happening.

“Faith, trust me.” His fingertips forced her chin up and her gaze met his. “I am real. I’m flesh and blood.” He touched her hand to his chest. “You felt me with your hands, your body. I’m a man now.”

“And the past year?”

“I told you the truth before. I was wandering … in the nothingness. And then I knew what I was to do, and what my reward would be. I never understood why I was chosen. There were many who would have jumped at the chance to come back. But now I realize it was because of Rachel—Jane. My sister.” His eyes brightened and he swallowed. “Thank you, Faith,” he said in a quiet voice that wrenched at her heart. “Thank you for being there for her, for helping her find her way out of the nightmares, and for all you did.”

“I …” Her throat tightened and hot tears spilled down her cheeks. She closed her eyes as memories rushed at her—visions of Jane’s smiling face and dark eyes—Jesse’s eyes. Denial waged one last battle inside her. It was all too incredible. Unbelievable.
Impossible
.

“I know it sounds wild and crazy,” he went on. “Hell, a year ago I wouldn’t have believed it myself. The afterlife, angels and devils and all that hoopla, was just a lot of bunk, a nice explanation to give people hope in a hopeless world. But it isn’t a crock. It’s real. I’ve seen it.” He stared past her, and for the first time since she’d come into the room, she saw the specks in his eyes twinkle and flare. “You die, but that’s not the end of it. Afterward, there’s this light,” he said, wonder in his voice. “And it’s so bright, so warm…. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“I have,” she said. She touched his jaw and drew his gaze to her own. “Every time I look at you.”

The last niggling doubt slipped away as she stared at him, into him. Some things weren’t meant to be explained logically or rationally. Some things simply
were
.

Jesse had come to her, had saved her, loved her,
and she refused to question the how and why. It was enough that he was here now, in front of her, with her.

She smiled, and for the first time in a long time Faith Jansen started to believe in a happily ever after.

Then she heard the shout coming from downstairs, the pounding of footsteps, and her happiness shattered.

“Faith! Jesse!” Bradley called out, his fists pounding the door. “They found Daniel! He’s on top of the old Marbury Building, and he’s getting ready to jump!”

Ten minutes later, Faith and Jesse swerved to a stop in front of the Marbury Building, a six-story structure that had once housed Marbury Savings and Loan. The savings and loan had gone under, the building closed up to await sale. That had been nearly six years ago and the property still stood vacant. Once neatly trimmed shrubs sat neglected, now a tangled mass of overgrown vegetation partially concealing the broken first-floor windows. The
NO TRESPASSING
sign shone like a red-and-white beacon against the crumbling brick.

There were many trespassers now. Patrol cars littered the parking lot, along with an ambulance and a fire truck. A police barricade blocked the front of the building. A group of uniformed officers held a buzzing crowd of onlookers in check.

Jesse killed the motorcycle’s engine, climbed off, and reached for Faith.

She hesitated, her gaze sweeping the front of the building, her neck craning up as she directed her attention to the small figure peering over the edge of the roof. Daniel.

Her heart stopped beating for a long second and fear iced her insides.

“This is too intense.” She shook her head, a swirl of doubt gripping her body, refusing to let her budge. “I—I don’t see what I can do to help.”

“Just being here will help, Faith. You’re his foster mother.” Then Jesse’s warm hand covered hers. “Come on. It’ll be all right.”

She gathered her courage and managed a nod. A few seconds later, she was following him through the crowd to the front of the barricade, where Bradley waited for them. There an officer ushered the three toward the building.

Faith wasn’t quite sure how she managed each step. She’d covered many blocks over the past two days, beating the pavement to find Daniel, and now that she had, she could barely manage the short walk to the front door.

The minute she and Jesse and Bradley stepped inside, they found themselves in the middle of a monstrous room that had once been the bank lobby. The floors had been stripped of carpet, and an old Cupid fountain was now a decapitated block of chipped concrete. Police officers, firemen, and paramedics overflowed the room. Jesse stopped to answer background questions about Daniel, while Bradley went to use a nearby cellular phone to call Estelle.

“The name’s Miller. Detective in charge,” said a middle-aged man in a suit, who gripped Faith’s elbow and led her toward the stairwell at the back of the building.

“This is the only way up or down,” the detective said when Faith hesitated, her hand on the banister. “I’d offer you the elevator, but those things are in sorry shape, even if we could get the power turned on. Besides, they don’t reach the roof, and that’s where we’re headed.”

She stared up into the impenetrable blackness, and panic swamped her senses. Her fingers tightened. This was different, she told herself. This wasn’t just searching for a missing teen. This was life and death. Life
or
death.