She was surprised he’d even come back.
He stomped up the stairs to the porch a
moment later. He didn’t take the time to put up her board, which
irritated her, before he barreled inside. She turned around just in
time to see him open his mouth to start yelling.
“No,” she said simply. She lifted her hand
to stop him. “You don’t get to yell at me. Look, Hale, I’m sorry I
didn’t tell you I was a virgin.” She gritted her teeth, because he
didn’t look like he wanted to yell anymore. He was softening and
moving closer to her. She shook her head and backed away. “I chose
you,” she whispered. “And you just left me up there.”
“I came back.” Hale tried to close the
distance between them again. He looked torn between his fleeting
anger and his passion for her. The emotions warred across his face,
his eyes wide and consuming.
“But you left.”
“And came back,” He insisted again,
emphasizing each word.
“My virginity isn’t just some fake smile,”
she said. For some reason, she couldn’t help but wonder if her mom
had stood like this, like Kyra was now, arguing with a
boyfriend.
“What is it then? You could’ve told me.”
Water rolled down her body in tiny droplets.
It dripped from her hair and onto her shoulders. “I know,” she said
quietly, her eyes meeting Hale’s. “But my virginity feels like a
mistake. It feels like something dirty, because it’s my failure as
a human being. Who can’t let themselves be touched or loved or even
let someone stand that close to them? I’m a virgin because I can’t
deal with the emotions of letting someone take it from me. But with
you…” Kyra shrugged, “…I would have risked them.”
Hale finally caught her, but she only let
him wrap his arms around her. He felt salty too; the water was
still slick against his skin. It soothed her to feel the ocean on
their bodies.
“You talk about your feelings like they are
dangerous.” His words ruffled her hair with their breath, and her
eyes drifted closed.
“They are,” she said so quietly she barely
heard herself.
He hadn’t heard. His hands cupped her face
as he leaned back to look at her. “Sorry for leaving tonight. I’m
not good at handling my temper.”
She lifted a shoulder, smiling slightly. “I
thought it would make me hate you.”
“I thought I hated you too.” Hale mimicked
her shrug.
“Maybe we both don’t have it figured
it.”
“Apparently not.”
Kyra’s grin slipped away. “Why is it so
hard?”
“Think that’s why they call it ‘life.’ Cause
it’s supposed to suck sometimes.”
“I liked it when it was easy.”
He dipped his forehead against hers. “Was it
really easy, or were you just faking it?”
She pulled away and smacked his chest
half-heartedly. “I had it good before you came along and made me
realize how awful it really was.”
“I’m glad I did.” Hale caught her hand and
held it against his chest.
“I don’t know if I’m worth it,” Kyra
murmured, her eyes skimming over the floorboards again. She could
give everything to Hale and he might still think she wasn’t good
enough in the end. And she didn’t know if their relationship would
be worth the pain his rejection would cause. For her entire life,
nothing had seemed worth it when compared to the darkness inside
her. So she’d played it safe. Until now.
“I think you’re the most complicated woman
I’ve ever met.”
It wasn’t the right thing to say. He was
supposed to say she was everything he’d ever wanted. But that was
silly, and it wasn’t Hale Cooper. She smiled. “I think that’s the
best compliment you’ve ever given me.”
“Truce?” Hale grinned.
“Truce.”
With that, he took her hand and led her
toward her stairs. “I’m going to sleep with you, Kyra. Tonight and
maybe tomorrow night. And if you play your cards right, I might
stay the weekend too.”
“Um…” she paused on the stairs, a frown
tugging at her mouth.
He glanced back at her and pulled on her
arm. “I’m going to sleep next to you, because trying to figure you
out is exhausting. Don’t worry about any unwelcomed advances. I’m
too tired for that shit tonight.”
He didn’t wait for her answer, but she
followed him anyway. They didn’t bother with showers or changing.
They collapsed onto her mattress and scooted under the covers. Hale
wasted no time wrapped her in his arms. Her back was tucked against
his chest, his arms encircling her. For the second time that night,
Kyra sank into his body and let go.
She fell asleep right away.
sixteen
T
echnically, I have
the day off.”
Kyra stirred, blinking into the bright light
streaming through her bedroom. Hale stood next to her bed with a
thermos of coffee in his hand from Sweet Roasts. He looked ready
for the day, and apparently he’d gotten a head start on Kyra.
“What?” she mumbled, tasting her awful
morning breath. Quickly, she reached for the coffee to burn it out.
Hale handed it to her and sat down on the edge of her bed.
“The inside of the house is getting painted
today, so I have the day off, since Cade handles the
subcontractors. And we need a break from this house.” He rolled his
eyes. “Actually, I need a break from this house, and I want to take
it with you.”
Kyra burnt her tongue, but the coffee tasted
like heaven. She moaned her approval. “Where are we going?” she
asked a moment later.
“To my favorite spot on the island. So get
dressed and wear hiking shoes.” He smacked her butt through the
thin sheet, which sloshed her coffee, and left the room.
When she went downstairs ten minutes later,
Hale appeared from the back of the house and presented her a bag.
“Breakfast of champions,” he said. She peered inside the bag and
discovered a still-warm bagel. “You can eat on the drive over.”
“Where’s your favorite spot?” Kyra asked as
she followed him out the door, locking it behind her. She stole a
glance at Stevie’s house; the lights were off with no sign of
activity.
“It’s a surprise,” he answered cryptically.
His smile was crooked and goofy, but Kyra liked it. He acted more
laid back and comfortable today, and after last night, Kyra
welcomed the change with relief.
Hale’s truck roared to life. Kyra munched on
her bagel, which was the delicious blueberry kind, as he navigated
through town. They rode in comfortable silence, music playing
quietly in the background. Kyra didn’t know much about country
music, but she recognized some Johnny Cash and George Jones, which
surprised her because it was so different from his usual hardcore
rock music.
“What are you staring at?” Hale asked,
keeping his eyes on the road.
Kyra laughed. “How did you know I was
looking at you?”
“I can just tell.”
The rasp in his voice took on a husky edge
that sent chills down her arms. “I thought you only listened to
rock.”
Hale flipped on his blinker and turned
right, heading out of town toward the northern end of the island.
Kyra hadn’t had much time to explore more since her tour with Cade,
so she was already getting lost. “My mom used to play this stuff
all the time when we were kids. I guess it kind of stuck, because I
like it.”
“How is she really doing?” she asked
carefully, not knowing how far to push him after the group had
talked about his mother last night at dinner. She munched on her
bagel, taking small bites and watching Hale out of the corner of
her eye.
His grip tightened slightly on the wheel,
but he said, “She’s tough. Maybe too tough. She won’t tell us when
the pain gets too bad, and she insists on living at her house. It
makes it hard to keep an eye on her, but the nurse we hired is
really good.”
“Is she starting another round of chemo
soon?”
“No.”
The single word said it all, and Kyra knew
when to drop the subject. She turned to the window and marveled at
the scenery; Canaan Island was beautiful, with lush trees and
jagged cliffs. All the houses and buildings were bright, cheerful
colors, but the buildings were becoming fewer and fewer as they
drove farther north, the road narrowing and twisting along the
towering bluff. Kyra could just make out the crashing waves far
below them as they went around the sharp corners.
“You’re really not going to tell me where
we’re going?” she asked, growing excited.
“Nope.” Hale shot her another grin, once
again easing the tension. He looked as excited as she felt.
“Have you always lived on the island?” Kyra
neatly folded her bagel bag and put it in one of the cup holders.
Hale’s car was a lot neater than hers, which was no surprise. There
were probably landfills neater than her car.
“Left for college. Didn’t work out, so I
came back.” Hale turned off the main road and headed down a
single-lane service road. Kyra bounced in her seat when he hit the
massive potholes. She reached for the door handle and held on.
“Why did it not work out?” She almost bit
her tongue when they hit another bump.
Hale shrugged. “Wasn’t for me. I never went
to class, and I hated the types of people there. I couldn’t find my
place with them, so I left.”
“And you’ve found it now?” she asked,
raising her eyebrows at Hale’s profile. She thought about his gruff
and grumpy personality. From outside appearances, he certainly
didn’t fit in with the typical Canaan crowd.
Confirming her thoughts, he snorted
derisively. “I’m the type of person that will never fit in. People
see me and think I should be in jail or doing drugs—or both. Maybe
I look like some in that crowd, I guess, but that’s not me. And I
don’t think you fit in either, Kyra. You think you do, and you try
really hard. It’s not working though, is it? See, that’s where we
are different. I’m okay with it. I don’t think you are yet.”
Kyra was stunned for a moment, uncertain
about how he’d turned this around on her. “I’m fine with who I am,”
she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Whatever
you say. I bet if you were real and honest with people, your videos
would do even better than they do.”
“My videos do fine, thank you very much.”
They hit another bump, and her elbow cracked against the door.
“I’m not trying to make you mad.” Hale
stopped the truck in front of a large metal gate with a crooked,
bent
No Trespassing
sign. He turned off the engine and
looked at her. “I’m just telling you what I think.”
His gaze was simple and open. All he wanted
was for her to be honest with him too. She took a deep breath. “I’m
trying.”
He smiled. And it wasn’t his crooked, snarky
one either. It was a real smile, and it hurt Kyra’s heart. He
looked like a child when he smiled, like a little boy without the
harsh judgments of his neighbors. It was a smile he’d probably
given his mother countless times when she was healthy and young and
he played in the house with Cade while she listened to old country
music. It takes a real man to smile so unguardedly like that, Kyra
realized, and he was smiling it for her.
“Try harder.” With that. Hale jumped out of
the car, slinging a backpack over his shoulder. Kyra blinked as the
door slammed. It took her a moment to recover, and when she did,
she rolled her eyes at his back.
“So much for having a moment,” she mumbled
before she got out of the car and followed him. He headed down the
fence line, stepping through tall brush and briars. She went after
him carefully, making sure not to snag her bare skin on the
thorns.
“Are we doing something illegal?” They
passed another warning sign about trespassing.
“So many people come up here, the cops don’t
care anymore.”
Aside from the ugly fence, the area was
beautiful. The trees were thick, blanketing her in pine smell, and
seagulls squawked above her head. From somewhere up ahead came the
slight sound of waves. Hale crunched along the path in front of her
until they came to a slit in the fence. He pulled back the metal
for her.
“Thanks.” She ducked through and watched as
he followed just as quickly. He pulled the chain link back into
place like an expert. Clearly, this wasn’t the first time he’d been
up here.
“This is your favorite place on the
island?”
“Yep.” Hale adjusted his pack and took the
lead once again. “You’ll understand in a minute.”
The trees opened up some as they climbed a
slight hill. The grass scratched against Kyra’s thighs as she waded
through. A breeze bent the limbs around her, making the trees sing
in tune with the birds. Pockets of brightly colored flowers cropped
up along the way. And all the while, the ocean smell grew stronger,
overpowering the pine scent. The waves grew louder, and their pull
ached in her chest.
“Look there.”
Kyra followed Hale’s finger and saw a tall
lighthouse emerging through the trees. It sat atop the hill they
were climbing, which she now saw was a large bluff. The lighthouse
was positioned right on the very edge, its base surrounded by
rocks.
“Oh, wow,” she whispered, taking in the
sight. They kept climbing, but she slowed to look up at the
lighthouse.
Its age was clearly apparent, and it
obviously wasn’t in use anymore. The door at the base was boarded
up, and the paint had peeled and crumbled off. It towered into the
sky with a narrow railing wrapping around the very top. The glass
surrounding the lights up there was broken away, but Kyra could
tell it had once been majestic. Now it just looked kind of sad.
“Now you can see why this is my favorite
place,” Hale said, sweeping his arm to the view in front of her.
Kyra hadn’t even noticed they’d come to a stop on the edge of the
bluff.
The bluff overlooked a small cove with sides
made of huge rock outcroppings that the waves bashed themselves
against, sending sprays of water as high as the bluff’s edge. The
wind buffeted against her, causing her ponytail to twist and swish
around. Looking down at the battle of water against land, she had
the sense of power and war, ageless and unending. It was raw and
powerful, consuming and devouring. They could’ve been the only ones
in the world standing up here, except for the lighthouse, which
felt like a presence of its own.