Faking Sweet (6 page)

Read Faking Sweet Online

Authors: J.C. Burke

‘I've, um, got to check my emails, Mum.'

‘Oh?' For a moment she frowned at me, almost like she'd forgotten where she was. ‘Well, don't forget we're having an early pizza so don't get too caught up gossiping with Miss Calypso. Make sure you tell her I saw Sally. Sally's her favourite too.'

‘I'm not coming to dinner, Mum.'

‘But your father wanted to celebrate our first week in Sydney.'

What was the catch? My father had never suggested celebrating our first week anywhere. He was always too busy ‘settling in'. Probably just as well, or we'd be fat blobs rolling from one pizza parlour to the next.

‘I'm tired Mum, and I've got stacks of Shakespeare to get through.'

‘You're not hiding in English work again, are you?'

She had a point. Usually that was my device for surviving a new school without feeling like the usual no-friends, nowhere-to-go loser.

But this time she couldn't have been more off the mark.

‘Bring me home some pizza,' I called from my bedroom door. ‘No anchovies.'

I shut the door, and for a while leaned against it, the masses of thoughts tumbling through my head.

I scrolled through to Calypso's last text. I couldn't face the others. It said:

Hello! Hello!

‘Hello yourself,' I grumbled.

I kicked off my shoes, laid on my bed and tried to figure out a plan that'd get me out of this disaster without looking like I'd stuffed up again.

Number one, Calypso didn't have to know Scott turned up. That wasn't really breaking the honesty pact. In fact it was only omitting a tiny detail and it was in her interest. Just because Calypso said she was over Scott doesn't mean she actually was.

If Scott had been my boyfriend I would've found a more flattering photo for my bedroom wall. Then, come to think of it, if I looked as good as Calypso did in that photo I would've had it up on my wall too. Calypso thought she looked a bit like Rachel Bilson from
The OC
and she did. But Scott was so much better looking in real life. Anyway what was I doing even thinking about Scott? He was only good looking on the outside. Inside he was a rat.

I sat at the computer, my decision made. Honesty and loyalty. Calypso had every right to expect that from me. After all we were besties and we had a pact. Our friendship was the only thing that mattered.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Unexpected arrival

Hey Calypso

I'm just going to be completely honest coz that was the deal we made. Someone rather unexpected turned up at Spotti. Drop the ‘p' for a ‘c' and that's who it was – Scottie! Ouch! Sorry, I had no idea. He just popped out of nowhere. Don't worry it wasn't like he noticed me. Not that he was paying attention to Jess either. He seemed to have his head up his bum the whole time.

Jess saw me. Don't worry she thought I was waiting to try stuff on but it did kind of get in the way of completing Step 3. But I got a peek in her dressing room. There was nothing hidden in there I'm sure of that. The big Nazi of a shop lady made us all leave our bags at the door. Jess's bag was there for sure.

Got Mrs Gideon for English. Jess is definitely the TP. And I see what you mean about Jess being a complete performing hog.

She pushed herself into getting the main part in the play we're doing. Talk about hopeless. She could hardly read, let alone act. No wonder she was such a biiiatch to you. She would've been totally threatened by your talent.

My mother says to tell you she saw Sally from The Price is Right. Mum reckons she's even prettier in real life but to be honest I can't think which one she is. Is she the blonde, the blonde or the blonde? Hah! Perhaps that should be Jess's career. She could get her performing fix without having to open her mouth. That'd save the world a lot of pain.

First week out of the way and counting.

Miss ya heaps,

Lotsaluv Hol xx

I went to the fridge, got a Diet Pepsi and flopped onto the couch with
Home and Away
as my company. I dangled my feet over the armrest waiting for Calypso's reply, and wondering if she was watching
Home and Away
too.

Dear Me,

Jase's party was so so so so cool and I so so so wore the right outfit!

That's one thing Scott's handy for-coming shopping and telling me what looks good. The black shorts were a hit. I'm pretty sure Jase thought so. I caught him having a perve a couple of times. No wonder Scottie said, ‘I don't think you should wear them to Jase's.' Oh well' it's a free world and luckily that means I can wear whatever I want.

Tonight I'm going to the movies with absolutely everyone. Scott scored some freebies from his dad. Don't know what we're seeing but who cares, coz Mum said I could get the top from Lipstix seeing as I finished my book. Well I didn't read it to the very end but I read the last page so at least I found out the ending.

The weekend would be perfect if I could just change one thing-it didn't end.

First period on Monday is English and I'm scared. Mrs G made me read out a huge part on Friday and I'm terrified she'll make me do it again. The whole class was so quiet while I was reading. It was awful. My mouth kept drying up, which made that stupid Shakespeare even harder. I wished I'd got Holly's part. She only had a few lines.

I'm so glad I have you to talk to. You're the only one I can tell all my secrets to. I found that you-know-what in the back of my drawer last night. I still don't know what to do with it. I wish you had legs and arms so you could dispose of it for me. I know it brings me bad luck.

One of the guys at the party was asking Saskia what happened to Calypso. I knew what was coming next so I went and had a dance with Scott. I still have to tell myself not to feel bad about what happened with us. I got lucky. She didn't.

Better go, Saskia's on the phone. Probably ringing to tell me what she got up to last night. I know she hooked up with Jase even though she'll deny it.

Jess xoxoxoxox

There had been no email from Calypso after
Home and Away
, or half an hour after that, or half an hour after that. Not even one on Saturday. No texts either.

I checked MSN a million times. I knew Calypso was still banned but maybe she'd managed to bribe her painful little sister, Tiffany, into not dobbing. She wasn't on. Instead I got chatting to some random Goth who only wanted to discuss her latest blue-black hair dye job, the black skirt she'd bought at some market, and how nobody really understood her. Like, who cares?

There could only be one reason why Calypso hadn't replied. Best case scenario, disappointed. Most likely, pissed off. I wanted to squeeze every pimple on my forehead until they were red and swollen. Why couldn't I just get one thing right?

Mum wanted me to go to the movies. Dad even asked me to go sailing with him. That almost shocked me out of the doldrums. But ‘no' was the only word I could manage.

I couldn't risk being too far from my computer screen and, besides, I felt horrible. Moving and speaking was a chore.

On Sunday, I was still in my pjs from Friday night. Dad kept hassling me, but it's not like I had anything to get dressed for. I looked at the clock. It was 10.13 am, so my phone and I crawled back under the sheets, the stale smells of my bed my only comfort. How could it be thirty-six hours later and still no word from Calypso?

When the ‘beep beep' came it sounded like an explosion. I landed on the floor with the sheet tangled around my feet, the mobile trapped somewhere in the left leg of my pyjama pants.

‘Hang on!' I called out to no one. ‘I'm coming, Calypso.'

Her message read:

This isn't working. C.

‘This isn't working?' I repeated. ‘This isn't working?' What did Calypso mean by that? What wasn't working? Step 3? The plan? Us?

I typed:
What do

Then deleted it.

Don't get it?
Deleted that.

Finally I settled for the safe option.

R u ok?
and pressed ‘reply'.

The number, Calypso's number, the ten digits I knew as well as the fluff in my bellybutton, didn't appear. Instead it showed a different one, but it did look kind of familiar. I could vaguely recall one that ended with 999. I just couldn't remember whose it was. Maybe Calypso was using her mum's phone. I hit ‘send'.

Beep. With one eye shut I peeked at her answer.

Y did u follow her??

So she was pissed off.

U told me 2.
I replied.

This was getting very confusing. Didn't Calypso remember she told me to follow Jess? Didn't she remember that I heard Jess say she was going alone? How did I know Scott was going to turn up? What difference did it make anyway? There she was again protecting Scott when he didn't deserve it. It's not like I would've been nice or friendly to him. Just like I knew Calypso would never be chummy with Joe or Miranda.

Just ring her, I told myself. There's nothing like direct conversation to sort things out. That's what my dad reckons, except when it comes to the home front of course. Then the only direct conversation he likes is him talking while Mum and I listen.

Anyway, I did it. Not straight away though. It took at least twenty minutes of psych up before I could even bring myself to touch the phone, let alone actually ring the number. Especially when I didn't even know whose number I was ringing.

Straight away someone picked up.

‘Yep?' the voice on the other end said. It wasn't Calypso. In fact it sounded like a bloke.

‘Um, who is this?' I asked. ‘I'm after Calypso?'

‘Yeah, well, who are you?' he grunted.

‘Um, Holly. I'm a friend of …'

But the stranger started shouting, ‘Miranda? Miranda! There's someone on your mobile. Miranda? Oi! She's looking for Calypso.'

The phone fell out of my hand. I watched it bounce on the carpet as another voice, a girl's voice,
that
girl's voice, chattered in my bedroom! ‘Hello? Hello? Hello there? Is anyone there? Hello?'

I stumbled down the hallway and into the bathroom. I slid down the wall and onto my knees. The tiles were so cold. I lay on them, face down, staring till my eyes began to water and blur. Of course, the mobile ending with 999 was a number I once saw written on Joe's hand.

What on earth was Calypso doing with Miranda's phone? What on earth was Calypso doing with Miranda?

I got into the shower and turned on the cold, hoping that shock would override the one I'd just had. They say the brain can only recognise one site of pain; like if you burn your hand then whack your foot with a hammer. But I'd just proved that theory wrong. I felt pain everywhere.

Dear Me,

Scott was so mean to me at the movies last night. He kept whispering and laughing with Isabelle. Yet he's always telling me what a pain he thinks Isabelle is. He was doing it just to get to me. He said my new top from Lipstix made me look like a real skank. I should've said ‘Jase seemed to like it.' Which I swear is true. Jase seriously did NOT stop staring the whole night. That's 2 nights in a row now. I can't believe Saskia reckons he likes her.

Less than 12 hours till English. I had a look at the play tonight but I just can't say that Shakespeare stuff. It's like my tongue gets stuck on the roof of my mouth. I can't chuck a sickie either coz there's Rock Eisteddfod practice all arvo.

Saskia hooked up with some random hanger-oner who came to the movies with us. He was pretty cute but Saskia better watch herself or she's going to start getting a name with the guys.

I spoke to Isabelle about it coz I thought maybe we should say something to her but Isabelle said ‘no way'. I know this sounds kind of psycho but I reckon Isabelle would be quite pleased if Saskia got a bad reputation.

You should've seen Isabelle flutter her eyelids when Scott said to her ‘Don't you turn out like Saskia.' I wanted to slap her across the face.

Good night Me. xx

It was almost midnight when my mobile rang. But I was still awake. I'd been lying on the bed for hours just staring at nothing. This time it was Calypso's number on the screen.

‘Hello.'

‘Holly?'

‘Hmm.'

‘Are you pissed off with me?'

‘Why would I be, Calypso?'

‘You are mad.'

‘How, how would you feel if …' I couldn't hold it in any longer. ‘If, if you just suddenly had Jess or Scott on your mobile?'

‘Hol, can I get a word in? I'd been at Miranda's 'cause we had to do some dumb Biology project together,' Calypso sighed. ‘You know what a loser I think she is. How can you think I'd do that to you?'

‘It felt really, really bad hearing Miranda's voice.'

‘Did … did you speak to her?'

‘No, I didn't speak to her,' I snapped.

‘Oh.'

‘I'm not that stupid, Calypso. I just heard her pathetic, fluffy voice and it made me feel horrible.'

‘I'm so sorry, Hol.'

‘You know, Calypso, I
should
be asking you if you're pissed off with me.' I was mad and I was on a roll. ‘I didn't hear from you all weekend. I sent you an email …'

‘Our modem or something is busted,' she explained.

‘You could've sent me a text.'

‘I had no battery, Hol. That's why I had to text you from Miranda's phone. Honest. I've been panicking all weekend about you.'

I contemplated reminding her that there was such a thing as a landline phone, but chickened out. I didn't want to risk pissing her off more as there was something important I needed to tell her.

‘Calypso, I've been thinking about, about …' To be honest I hadn't been thinking about it since the Miranda moment, but before that it was all I'd been thinking about. ‘Please don't think I'm piking.' That's what I'd been worrying about. ‘It doesn't mean that I'm not being a good friend.' I was terrified that's what she'd think. ‘But … I'm hopeless at this shoplifting thing.' There, I'd said it. ‘I know you think I am too.'

‘Noooooo,' she almost shrieked. ‘No, no. You're not …'

‘I am.'

‘No! No, you're good.'

‘Calypso.'

‘You've got to do it, Hol. I'm relying on you.'

‘Please don't say that. It makes me feel bad.'

‘But I am.'

‘I can't do it,' I groaned. ‘You were right. It's not working. I guess I just couldn't accept it then.'

Silence.

‘You don't want to do it 'cause you're mad with me about Miranda,' Calypso was almost whispering. ‘That's the real reason, isn't it?'

‘No.' Well, it had made the decision a little easier but I wasn't going to say that. ‘No. It's not.'

‘I'm sorry.' Calypso was sounding like she was about to cry. ‘I, I thought you trusted me. I thought we were best friends. How was I to know doing some dumb project with Miranda would've caused all this fuss, and make you decide you didn't want to do the plan anymore? I, I would've, well, I don't know what I would've done 'cause it's not like I had a choice about who my project partner was going to be. The teacher put us together. I had no say in it. As if I would've picked her. I mean, is that what you think of me?'

‘Um.'

‘It is, isn't it? Hey? It is, isn't it?' Her voice was cracking badly and I felt about one centimetre tall. ‘I thought you trusted me, Hol. I thought we were besties. How could you think I'd have anything to do with Miranda? Not after what she did to you. Remember I do know something about how that feels.'

‘Well, why am I only doing the shoplifting thing?' I blurted. ‘Why don't you let me get Jess and Scott back instead? Please.'

‘No!' Calypso shrieked.

Silence.

‘Look,' I began in a calm voice. How was I going to get out of this without looking like a complete cow? ‘It's not the Miranda thing that's changed my mind. I'm just such a loser at this shoplifting revenge plan. I haven't even got past Step 3 yet.'

‘I thought you did well on Friday. You managed to check out her dressing room. I was going to suggest you were ready for the next step.'

‘You don't have to say that. I know that's not what you really think.'

‘Now you're saying I'm lying?'

‘No!'

‘Then why don't you believe me?'

There was a long pause. Why wouldn't Calypso let me off the hook? I thought she'd say, ‘Hol, it's fine. I understand. Drop the shoplifting plan. It's not worth getting in trouble for.'

Instead I heard, ‘Hol, I think you're ready to slip a few things into her bag. You are so up to the next stage. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.'

No! I wanted to cry. Don't make me!

‘I'm not sure,' I mumbled.

Extricating myself from this was going to be even harder than I planned.

‘I thought we made a pact. As far as I remember you agreed to carry out the revenge plan.' Calypso's voice was clipped. ‘Obviously it didn't mean as much to you.'

‘It did. I mean, it does.'

‘So?'

‘So …?'

‘So how am I supposed to believe that now? Huh, Holly? How?' I could hear Calypso breathing through the phone. ‘I guess the real reason is that you've obviously made new friends in Sydney.' Her voice had changed too. It was almost like a low growl. ‘No, I suppose I don't matter anymore. How could've I been so stupid and told you all those private things?'

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