Fall Apart (27 page)

Shouldn’t have climbed today. We’re rushing. Too many fucking mistakes!

“I’m coming, buddy—”

Todd pushed off his right foot, but instead of moving upward, he accidentally pushed away from the cliff face. “My fucking hand’s slip—” A sudden curse, and a wash of rocks fell toward Damon as Todd cried out.

“DAMON!”

Trying to protect his head from the rocks, Damon caught sight of Todd falling a second too late. His hand shot out instinctively, leaving the bulk of his weight on his own right-hand grip. He felt Todd’s hands scratching down his entire arm, unable to find purchase.
“Todd!”

The weight was enough to break his own grip and he was falling, sliding down the rock face. He didn’t see Todd. Where the fuck was Todd?

His wrist hit something and white-hot pain shot up his arm. He felt every bit of the rock that scraped over his exposed skin and his harness snagged on something for a beat before breaking free again, continuing his plummet to the earth. Each noise in his ear was specific—the clatter of rocks, the hiss of his clothes against the cliff, his shoes hitting stones. He felt everything. He saw everything. But he didn’t see Todd.

The ground came fast and hard, and Damon’s world went dark.

Restless for reasons he didn’t understand, Alarik decided to go in to the
Sunrise Productions
office and spend a little more time on his plans for next week. Filming began bright and early Monday morning and he was actually very excited to return to the set and take a look around. He’d been getting to know the Director of Photography for the movie, and was once again impressed by the team of people working on this project. Max had been very busy.

Alarik got the chance to see Zane in the full costume and makeup he’d wear for the first few days of filming. He had a wig that hung nearly to his waist, a scar that ran from the corner of his left eye down to his jaw, color contact lenses, and a goatee. He was barely recognizable. Mark was going to cringe when he saw it.

A little before six, he heard the deadbolt flip open on the back door of the building and he rolled his chair out to the hallway to make sure no one was about to murder him with an axe, or knock him senseless and steal his shoes. He loved these shoes.

It wasn’t a criminal, but Max was dangerous in his own right. Their eyes met and they nodded hello. The wall between them was still up…way up. They worked better together when they were both inside of their own perimeters.

“Did you just get in from New York?”

Max shook his head. “This morning. It’s been a long day.” He squeezed past Alarik who was swinging from left to right in the chair, and tried not to knock him in the head with his bag. “What are you doing here?”

“Working for a living,” Alarik teased. “I couldn’t relax at home.”

“I know the feeling.”

Max dumped his stuff on the conference table instead of in his office, and sank into a chair across from Alarik. With a heavy sigh, he rubbed at his eyes and pushed his hair away from his face.
Sweet heaven, look at that bone structure
.

When Max dropped his hands away, he caught Alarik’s gaze and his expression tightened. “Don’t,” he said, his voice hard.

“Don’t what?”

“Look at me like that.”

“How am I looking at you?” Alarik was trying his best not to be offended. He wasn’t
looking
at the other man any differently than he looked at anyone else.

Max mumbled something in Japanese and Alarik wished, yet again, that he knew
any
of the language besides “yes” and “no.” He may not be able to understand what Max’s mouth said, but he could read body language.

“You’re exhausted. You should go get some rest.”

“Alarik, I don’t understand you.” Max glared at him. “How much do you care about me?”

“Oh, Christ. I’m not going to have this conversation.”

Max abruptly shifted forward in his chair so that the plastic made an angry cracking noise. “Are you in love with me?”

Alarik went very still, sensing he was the prey in this scenario. His phone began buzzing on the conference table and Mandy’s name came up on the display; he sent the call to voicemail. “I don’t think you ever gave me the chance to fall in love with you, Max. How about that?”

“Bullshit.” Max leaned his forearms on the table and nailed Alarik to his chair with one look. “I’m too tired to verbally spar with you. I think you’re running from the truth.”

“
I
think I’m the only one here who can accurately describe his own feelings.” His phone began buzzing and Mandy’s name appeared again. “I was the one being honest and putting myself forward from the beginning and you held back,” he snapped, sending Mandy to voicemail a second time.

“Alarik,” Max clenched his teeth, his frustration thick in the air between them. “All I’m asking is that you don’t push me away one minute, and then look at me like that the next—and
answer your goddamn phone
!”

Alarik grabbed his phone peevishly, the third call from Mandy lighting up the screen.

“Mandy, darling, it’s not a good time—”

“Alarik…” The sound of his name spoken so breathlessly sent a bolt of fear right through the heart of him.

“What is it? What’s happened?” He half-stood from his seat, feeling like he needed to move, but not knowing where. Was it Luke? Oh, no…

Mandy was crying and trying to talk to him as clearly as she could. “Honey, there’s been an accident. We just heard and we’re on the way to the hospital right now—”

We? So, it probably wasn’t Luke. Alarik’s heart clenched.

“Mandy,” he said, shaken. “What happened?” Across from him, Max stood as well, watching Alarik’s every move with an unreadable expression.

“Damon and Todd were in a climbing accident,” she whispered and Alarik had to grab onto his chair to keep his feet. “It happened sometime this afternoon and they were medevac’d to Ventura County Medical Center.”

“Are they going to be okay?” he choked. “H-how bad…”

Max came around the table and grabbed onto Alarik’s shoulders to support him. Alarik found himself staring into golden brown eyes as the blood pounded in his ears.

“We don’t know much, honey. Molly called and she didn’t have an update. I-I think…I think it’s pretty bad. She hasn’t been allowed to see them.”

“I’m coming right now. I’m on my way.”

“We’ll watch for you.”

Alarik wasn’t thinking, so he hung up on her without saying another word. He tried to tell Max what was going on, but the words were stuck in his throat. Hayama gave him a little shake, his eyes full of concern.

“I was just with him, Max…” he murmured. “This morning, I—”

“Where do you need to go?”

Alarik tried to remember the name of the medical center Mandy had named, but he kept picturing Damon on a gurney, alone somewhere.

“Alarik. Focus. Where do you need to go?”

“Ventura.”

Max grabbed his bag from the tabletop. “Get your things together; I’ll take you right now.”

Stumbling and off balance, Alarik managed to remember to grab his wallet, keys and jacket before running to the car. Max had the engine started and he was going through a list of medical centers near Ventura on his navigation system.

“Is this it? Ventura County Medical Center?”

Alarik nodded distractedly, buckling himself in. By the time Max had merged into the traffic headed north on the freeway, Alarik’s head was in his hands and every prayer he could remember was flowing from his mouth in whispers. He tried not to think about all the horrible possibilities, but the idea that something worse was coming would not go away, and he didn’t know how to fight it off. His boyfriend needed help and Alarik was too far away to do anything. He was utterly powerless and knowing next to nothing about Damon’s condition was driving him mad.

Every now and then during the drive, he would feel Max’s hand on his shoulder, or curling around the nape of his neck. Hayama would speak soothing words to him in Finnish that never sank in.

What did he do if—
No!
He couldn’t think that way. Damon and Todd would be okay. Everything would be fine. Alarik would get to Damon, find out what was going on, and go from there.

It took them just over an hour to get to the medical center and when it looked like Max was just going to drop him off at the entrance to the emergency room, Alarik grabbed his hand on the gearshift. “Please, come with me.”

It didn’t make any sense, but he felt that if he had someone with him, whatever bad news he learned inside those walls wouldn’t be able to reach him.

Max didn’t argue; he parked and they ran into the building together. As they came through the doors, Alarik spotted Molly, Leo, and Luke off to the side with a doctor, while Mandy, Franco, Sandra, and Jess all waited nearby. Franco saw him first and rushed forward to meet him, barely glancing at Max. Everyone else was intent on the discussion with the doctor, though it seemed like they couldn’t hear a word that was being said.

“What’s going on, Franco? Do you know anything more?”

“This is only the second time that someone has spoken to us. Damon and Luke are Todd’s emergency contacts, so Luke will probably find out about Todd,” Franco kept glancing back at the doctor like he was expecting him to finish any second. “They were climbing about an hour and a half away from Ventura and were medevac’d in a couple hours ago.”

“A couple hours ago!” Alarik exclaimed. “And they’re only talking to his parents now?”

Franco rubbed at his brow, the stress deepening the lines on his face. “It took them a while to figure out who to contact. Their IDs were in Damon’s truck and the Sheriff’s Department didn’t find them until after the medevac helicopter left.”

Alarik reached out and gave Franco a squeeze on the shoulder. “How did this happen?”

Franco shook his head. “Not sure. The Sheriff that talked to Leo said that two other climbers were above Damon and Todd. They saw them fall, but… I guess Todd was higher than Damon.” Franco cleared his throat and looked away. “Leo didn’t want to say much more. He’s the one who talked to the Sheriff.”

With nothing else to do but wait, Alarik followed Franco to the grouping of chairs that Damon and Todd’s friends and family had taken for themselves. Mandy realized he’d arrived and she jumped up to throw her arms around him. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice tearful.

Alarik gave the barest of nods; his eyes were frozen on Molly, Leo, and Luke, trying to forecast the news from their expressions. Based on that alone, the situation appeared dire.

Several minutes later, after a lot of nodding and back-and-forth, the three returned to the group and sat down. Molly must have been voted as the representative because she did all the talking. She swallowed a couple times and looked straight into Alarik’s eyes. Her own were red rimmed and scared.

“The Sheriff’s Department offered all the information they had to the trauma team, but it seems that Damon and Todd fell from at least twenty-five feet. Damon has a concussion; he lost consciousness for some time.” Molly had to pause for a moment and they all watched as she knotted her fingers tightly together. “He has two broken ribs, a broken wrist, which needed surgery, and…there’s…there’s just a lot of trauma and bruising. He’s asleep right now, but the doctor says when he was awake that he was very disoriented. He doesn’t understand everything that’s happening.” Molly took another deep breath and Alarik felt Max take his hand in a tight grip. Some distant part of his mind shifted in surprise. “So…our Damon is under observation in Intensive Care because of the head injury. They want to monitor him. We might be able to see him soon.”

Alarik’s breathing sped up and his eyes stung. He wanted to run through the halls until he found Damon and could see with his own eyes that he was alive. He had to keep reminding himself that some news was better than no news.

“What about Toddy?” Franco asked, holding onto Sandra like a lifeline. His brown eyes were large in his face and Alarik had to look away when tears caught on the other man’s lower lashes.

Molly’s lips trembled and Leo pulled her close, hiding her face against his neck. He spoke to all of them and none of them in particular, “I-it’s not lookin’ real good, kids.”

***

Whispers. Damon heard them, but every time he tried to open his eyes and see who was talking, he failed. The sound stopped for a while and then started up again. His body felt so heavy, like he had the worst case of the flu he’d ever had and each movement required tremendous effort. Was someone talking to him?

I can’t understand… Can’t hear you…

He tried to remember how to open his mouth and say something, but everything was just so heavy. Too difficult.

So much whispering and no one would speak up.

Where was Todd? Shouldn’t he be with Todd?

He gave talking another try and again, nothing happened.
Todd, is that you?
Are you okay?

Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t move, and he couldn’t speak. A thought floated down through his mind—a dark thought that he wanted to avoid:
Maybe I’m not supposed to remember right now…

He decided to let himself forget for a while. Forget and sleep.

***

Someone was squeezing his arm. Hard. Damon let out a groan of discomfort, hoping whoever was doing it would stop, but the grip tightened further. “Ssstop,” he mumbled. Very slowly, the squeezing relaxed and he sighed, happier.

Whispering that seemed familiar began and then a voice sounded near him. “That’s the automatic blood pressure cuff—how are you feeling, Damon? Can you open your eyes for me?”

“Mmmphf.”

The question made him think. Could he open his eyes? He didn’t know for sure. That seemed like a lot to ask at the moment.

“Damon, I’m Dr. Kaegy. You’re at Ventura County Medical Center. If you can hear me, I’d like you to go ahead and open your eyes; can you do that for me?”

After what seemed like a tremendous expenditure of energy, Damon’s eyes fluttered open, though the right one didn’t feel like it was working properly. Fucking bright lights!