Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) (37 page)

I wasn’t quite sure what to say. Do I lie and say I stayed at home? That didn’t seem right. If I told the truth, I
know
that Becca would be really angry. I looked at Patrick, hoping for some clue as to what to say. His brows rose with curiosity. Becca looked like she was anxiously waiting for me to say how awful it was to spend it alone. I guess to her, it was a little retribution for me getting the solo over Grace.

“It was really good actually.” I knew what I could say, without lying or revealing too much. I grinned and looked at Patrick. “I spent the day with extended family. It was the best Thanksgiving ever.”

Patrick tried to suppress his knowing smile. “That’s good to hear.”

* * *

More people arrived. The crew scattered in a few different directions to talk with others. For the most part, the couples stayed together. I drifted to wherever someone from the crew was. If I didn’t want to interrupt them or felt comfortable doing so, I’d go to inside the house. I helped his mom in the kitchen and talked with her for a bit. I did this a few times through the party. I guess, the last time I was gone a little too long, because Patrick came in and asked if I was alright.

Nothing was really wrong. There were just times when I’d get self-conscious and feel out of place. I was glad to have a place to go where I felt safe and accepted. That’s why I ended up going to the kitchen and helping his mom. Well, I also did want to help her out. Lindsey wasn’t there helping since some of her friends had come over too. It was her chance to catch up with her old high school friends.

Mrs. Connor let me help her out, but would always have me go back outside, usually with some premise of putting more food out. She seemed to have a way of knowing when it was time to push me out there and when I just wasn’t ready yet.

I was over-thinking
everything
again. I worried about fitting in and felt like I wasn’t or could do more to fit in better. But how? I worried what people were thinking. Did they notice I wasn’t comfortable? Trying too hard? Not hard enough? I was working myself up, for no reason. I knew that and started kicking myself. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I stop doing this? So, I had a choice – stay outside and work myself up for no reason or go inside and get a meaningful distraction. I opted for the latter.

A few hours into the party, I emerged from one of my short kitchen escapes with a fresh tray of turkey tacos. Becca stopped me as soon as put them down.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” She stood squarely in front of me.

I felt adrenaline run through me, I tensed up. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Kissing up to his mom? Pretending you enjoy talking with her and helping? I know what you’re trying to do and it won’t work. Patrick’s mine. So, back off!” She vehemently sneered.

“I’m not trying to do anything. Least of all trying to steal Patrick from you.” I stepped to the side to get away from her.

She grabbed a hold of my wrist to prevent me from walking away. “I will not lose Patrick to you or anyone else.” She snapped.

“Let go!” I hissed and yanked my hand back toward me. My heart was racing. My face was burning. “Don’t
ever
touch me.”

We stood there a moment, staring at each other. I wasn’t taking my eyes off her. I didn’t trust her. But I also didn’t want to get into anything with her. I didn’t want to get into a fight with anyone, especially here at Patrick’s house. If this did escalate into a fight, what the heck was I going to do? I was really glad I didn’t have to find out, because Becca’s posture shifted. It was as if she suddenly relaxed and seemed casual. What the hell?

“Hey, Becks. Liz.” That explained her change in body language. Patrick was approaching us. She reached out for his hand and wrapped it around her shoulder. I tried to relax my face. He turned to face me. “How you doing, Liz? Having fun?”

Definitely not the time to tell him what just happened. He didn’t need to be put in the position of choosing between his friend and his girlfriend. I didn’t think he needed to pick. “Yeah. Good party.” His eyes darted back and forth, searching my face. He suspected something was wrong with me. I tried even harder to not show my fury.

* * *

At the end of the party, I helped clean up. Partly because I wanted to avoid being in the same car as Becca. Partly because I liked talking to his mom and wanted to continue our conversation from last night and this way we could without worrying about being interrupted. And lastly, Patrick said he’d give me a ride later. I think he wanted some alone time with Becca. I totally understood and wanted him to have that chance.

24. ROUTINE

Over the weekend, I went shopping with Lindsey, Cassie and Emily. Lindsey wanted to help me find a dress for the Winter Formal. I kept telling her it wasn’t a big deal since it wasn’t a real date. But, she didn’t accept my premise, neither did Cassie or Emily. So, I succumbed to peer pressure and shopped for the
perfect
dress.

We went to three malls and I don’t know how many stores in each one. I tried on countless dresses. Surprisingly, I had fun doing it. I think it was the company, rather than the chore of searching through racks of dresses in dozens of stores and trying them all on. They definitely made it fun. I loved spending time with them and feeling like a normal teenager.

Eventually, Cassie, Emily and I each found a dress. I loved my dress. It was a deep purple with silver accents. Next on our shopping list – accessories. It seemed easier to find matching accessories and shoes than to find the dresses. We did backtrack on the malls we visited, but that was okay. I was just glad that we accomplished our goal to have everything for the dance. It was great to have ‘girl time’. I never thought I’d think that. I never thought I’d have the chance.

* * *

The next two weeks I followed my relatively new routine. I went to school, hung out with the crew at lunch and after school, went to watch basketball practice, rehearsed for the concert and did my homework. I minimized any possible confrontations with my parents. It was easy to do since my parents were preoccupied with work and their own lives.

A few days each week, Patrick and I worked on our science fair project. There were deadlines we had to meet for Mr. D’s class to show our progress. He gave us feedback each time so we could improve our project. We took it to heart and worked harder and more diligently on it. It was important to me for us to do really well at the science fair. Since I never could be competitive in sports, it was my chance to compete in something I thought I was good at. Time will tell if I was able to.

Patrick wanted to do well, because, he strived for his best at everything he did. Also, based on the stories that Lindsey had shared about her experiences at the International Science Fair, he wanted to go too. Heck, so did I! It sounded like so much fun, parties and events every night, meeting other kids from all over the world, talking to Nobel Prize winners. Not to mention the scholarship money you could win. Some colleges even offered full-rides to their schools. The idea that you could be acknowledged for your hard work and get scholarships and free tuition was amazing. I wanted to be a part of it. And the week away from my parents was a definite additional plus.

As the Winter Formal approached, we made solidified our plans. The whole crew and their dates, or non-date in my case, planned to have dinner together. Cassie made the reservation for us.

Becca seemed to be increasingly more attentive to Patrick. Even more than usual. She would greet him outside almost every class. She would either wrap her arms around him and kiss him or rush up and tickle him. Becca even showed up one morning with peanut butter cookies all wrapped up in a bow for him. She made them. Who knew she could bake? I have to admit it was a nice move on her part. Aside from his mom and Lindsey’s cookies, peanut butter was his favorite. Patrick thought it was so cute and sweet. The thought, not the cookies.

It was a good thing that she gave him the cookies right before physics class, a class they didn’t have together. Because when he tried it, the look on his face was priceless. His eyes scrunched up and it was like his tongue was avoiding any contact with the food in his mouth. He didn’t have a napkin to spit it out in, so he used a sheet of paper. Patrick even used his sleeve to wipe the taste off his tongue. I laughed so hard that Mr. D had to tell me to quiet down.

“That bad, huh?” I chuckled, finally able to control my volume.

“Yeah. How could it look okay and taste so awful?” He stared at the pile of cookies. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” She won’t worry about what I thought about it anyway. I did feel a little bad for her and the fact that they didn’t turn out good. “It’s the thought that counts anyway. Her heart was in the right place, even if the ingredients weren’t.”

“I know. Liz, what do I tell her when she asks about them?” Panic started to set in. “I don’t want to lie, but… ugh. They were
really bad.
Here, try one.”

“Yeah. No, thanks. I trust you.” I giggled.

“Don’t laugh. What do I tell her?” He was starting to sound desperate.

What could he say? I stared at the pile of cookies then looked at his face and could tell he really needed something else to wash away the taste from his mouth. I handed him a bottle of water from my backpack. “Here. I think you need this more that I do right now.”

“Thanks.” He swished the water around his mouth before chugging it all down.

I pushed down another bout of laughter. “Tell her…They were unforgettable. That they tasted… like no other peanut butter cookie you’ve ever had.”

“Okay… but… do you think she’ll buy that? Won’t she ask
how
it tasted?” He was skeptical.

“Not if you quickly kiss her afterward.” I couldn’t believe I was telling him to kiss her. But I knew it would stop her curiosity. She could never accuse me of trying to drive them apart.

* * *

Sure enough, at lunch, Becca bounced up to him, gave him a huge hug and asked about the cookies. The crew stood there in shock.

Cassie politely and cautiously asked, “You bake?”

Becca proudly puffed out her chest. “Yes, I made Paddy’s favorite - peanut butter cookies.”

Jason wrapped his arm around Cassie and teased, “How come you’ve never made me cookies?”

“Because you don’t like cookies.” She laughed.

“Oh yeah.” He gave her a squeeze.

Becca rolled her eyes and mumbled. “Good thing I didn’t bring you any then.”

Lucky us. This time her selfishness worked out in our favor.

She smiled and faced Patrick. “So… what did you think of them?”

“They were unbelievable. I can honestly say I’ve never tasted anything like it.” He cracked a little smile. I clenched my jaw so I wouldn’t snicker.

“Yeah?” She grinned widely and looked right into his eyes. “You really liked it?”

Patrick leaned in and kissed her softly. “What do you think?”

Good one, Patrick. I covered my mouth and faked a cough to prevent from laughing.

“I knew you would.” She turned around and sunk into his chest. She glared at me but her tone was playful. “I always know what you like.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Yeah, that’s what she thinks. If she knew him so well, there were lots of things that she would do or not do. Like, she would stop with the public displays of affection that he didn’t like.

* * *

She absolutely hated it when we worked on our project. She couldn’t argue with him about it. She seemed to know that pulling him away from his school work or the crew would not go over well with him. It was a line she shouldn’t cross. That didn’t stop her from tagging along to some of our project work sessions. It was like being chaperoned. She eyed me suspiciously, but exuded sweetness when Patrick looked her way. Becca only came along twice. I think she got bored. I knew she couldn’t follow along with what we were doing, because she’d keep asking when we’d be done. Patrick apologized for Becca’s behavior. I told him not to worry about it, that it wasn’t his fault.