She laughed with the pure joy of his lovemaking. “You are certainly a very physical man, Jack Lucas,” she replied.
“You’d better believe it. And now we have broken the ice, so to speak, I shall want you at least a dozen times a day.”
“Even though you don’t love me?” There. She’d said those dreaded words. She had to spoil everything. She hadn’t meant to—she couldn’t help herself.
“You don’t love me either, do you?” came the smooth response. He didn’t wait for her to reply but said, “This is a physical thing, Lara. It is the pleasure we gain from creating sensations for each other to enjoy.”
“Meaning, any woman could do?”
“Don’t analyze everything. We have lusted after one another from the moment we met. Physically, we are very compatible. We have just proved it, but I don’t intend to spend our honeymoon being quizzed by you over impossible emotions.”
Impossible emotions.
So that’s what he called it. She had heard that many men were like Jack. As long as they could have sex when they wanted it, to hell with other emotions such as love, commitment, caring.
Jack touched her face and she turned her head and pressed a kiss into his palm. Perhaps he cared for her, she didn’t know. He was such an attractive man and she didn’t believe physically they would have problems. The fact that her parents had, in effect, arranged this marriage didn’t matter to her anymore. All that concerned her was that he could learn to love her as his wife and the mother of the children they would have.
Right now, she wanted this man again. She wanted him to recreate those wonderful sensations within her. Leaning toward him, she brushed her breasts across his chest. “Would you like me again?” she asked with a cheeky smile.
“You know I would, little devil.”
“I want you to teach me everything about sex, Jack. Everything.”
He placed his hands around her waist and lifted her so she sat astride him, looking down into his face. “You flatter me, sweetheart,” he said, maneuvering so he could enter her, causing her to gasp in surprise.
“Oh, Jack,” she murmured, widening her eyes as he pulled her hips tightly against him, at the same time thrusting into her, then lifted her from him to repeat the movement again and again as her strong, internal muscles tightened around him.
“Oh, Lara,” he mimicked, his thumbs rubbing her sensitive nipples.
She moved against him, taking control of the rhythm and of Jack and laughed in delight as he groaned under her teasing. When his passion took over, he left her breathless as with several fierce thrusts, he reached his climax. She flung her head back as she reveled in his pleasure.
~ * ~
Dear Diary,
We’re on our way to Australia in Jack’s plane. He is in the conference area making business calls, and I’m using this chance to catch up with you. I’m sorry I’ve missed a few days, but things have been pretty hectic.
My wedding is over and honestly, someone must have slipped me a Valium, because it passed in a complete haze. HMs are ecstatic, and Jack’s parents were very happy at the outcome as well. He has paid for them to have a second honeymoon in Europe.
The most important thing is that I’ve lost my virginity at last and how! It was the most wonderful experience of my life, and I can’t get enough of him. I’m constantly on fire for him and he must feel the same way as he can barely keep his hands off me.
The saddest thing is that from his point of view, it’s pure lust. From the beginning, he wanted me, while I know I love him. I could never let another man touch me and yet he could probably have sex with another woman and think nothing of it. I can’t bear to think about it.
We’re going to Port Margaret where he says we will have some meaningful talks. I don’t quite know what that will involve. I only wish he loved me and we could be like a normal couple.
“What are you writing?”
Lara hastily closed her journal as Jack stood in the aisle looking down at her. “It’s private.”
He shrugged and sat next to her. She was extraordinary, his beautiful wife. Quiet and shy one moment and the next, fiery and argumentative. He still couldn’t pick her true personality. What he
did
know, to his absolute delight, was how passionate she was. There was no shyness involved in that regard, and he had been intoxicated with her from when they had first made love that morning as the dawn had broken.
Worried that she might be sore with such sudden sexual activity, he had run a bath filling it with oils and bubbles he’d found in the huge marble bathroom. She had drifted back to sleep and he had picked her up and gently placed her in the warm, perfumed water. She had stretched languidly and then held out her arms to him.
“Come in, the water’s fine,” she had joked and he’d watched the bubbles clinging to her rounded breasts as she moved. He hadn’t needed to be asked twice as he joined her, and she was instantly in his arms.
“I’ve never done it in a bath,” she whispered, stroking the bubbles across his chest.
“Well, of course you haven’t,” he replied, hardening with desire as she floated against him.
“Do you still want me a dozen times a day?” She pressed her lips against his.
“Well, this will be number three today and it’s not even seven o’clock in the morning,” he murmured, his hands moving over her slick, wet body. “Seriously, Lara. You could become very sore.”
“We’ll have a rest…after this,” she said. He’d been unable to resist her, and hadn’t wanted to, as he pulled her on to his lap.
“Did you finish all your calls,” she asked politely as he brought his mind back to the present with difficulty.
“Pretty well. But next week there’s an important meeting in Sydney, which I’ll need to attend.”
“I’ll come with you, if you like.”
She slipped her hand into his, and he studied his gold ring on her slender finger. He wanted her with him. He wanted her with him every moment.
“I have an apartment in Sydney overlooking the Harbor Bridge. I think you’ll like it.” His throat tightened with unknown emotion. Was this what it was like to be in love? To want to share everything with your wife? Why hadn’t he experienced this with his ex? Probably that was why their marriage hadn’t lasted. They’d never really loved each other. But what did it matter when Lara didn’t love him? Sure, she was enjoying this new sexy adventure but it would wear thin. She had already mentioned ending their relationship. Barely married and she had talked of separation. That had hurt him. He would never let her go and allow another man to have her. Never.
“I know so little about you, Jack.” She interlaced her fingers with his. “I don’t know about your work, or your family and friends. I don’t know what you have planned for our future.”
He turned to her and to his dismay, her eyes filled with tears. She bent her head but he’d seen her weakness and it tore him apart to see her agony.
And it was his fault.
He brushed away a wayward tear from her cheek with his thumb and then cradled her against him, gently kissing her forehead. “It’s not the right place to talk about such matters here where we might be overheard. As I said, when we get home to Port Margaret, we’re going to talk and plan our future to suit us both.”
It sounded reasonable and logical the way he’d phrased it. They did need to sort things out. He hoped to hell he could persuade her she could be happy with him.
“We’ll be in Australia in about nine hours. How about we go to bed?” He buried his lips into her sweet-smelling hair.
She looked up, and he knew his desire for her was written in his eyes. He couldn’t, and didn’t want to disguise it. She was everything he had ever wanted in a woman.
“I’d like that,” she replied. “I guess I must be pregnant by now but it’s a very enjoyable way of making sure.”
She reached for her bag and made her way along the aisle to the bedroom at the back of the plane. Jack followed, his thoughts spinning around in his head. These odd, throwaway lines of hers didn’t seem to fit. This wasn’t the real Lara. Or was he totally misunderstanding the situation with her waiting to have his baby to fulfill her part of their contract, so she could leave him?
~ * ~
“It’s a beautiful home, Jack.” She looked out of the huge windows that ran the length of the house which was set high above the bay in Port Margaret.
“I like it. It’s a bit smaller than your palace, but still…”
She decided to ignore that remark. “The sea is very rough today. Is it an autumn storm coming in?” She jumped as a great gust of wind rattled against the panes of glass. Jack stood behind her, and she leaned back enjoying the protective feel of his arms around her.
“It’s forecast to be stormy today and fine tomorrow. I don’t have a fleet of boats out at present, so I’m not too concerned.”
“Have you been out in weather like this?” She turned to look up at him, noticing his eyes narrow as they swept the horizon.
“Yes, many times. Before I returned to Challoner, I went out for a week and worked a session with the tuna cowboys.”
She turned back to the window, covering his hands with hers where they encircled her waist. “I don’t know what that means.”
“We work under water in diving suits driving big catches of tuna into huge holding pens, and then the ship gradually tows them several hundred miles into shore, where they go into fish farms. The trouble is, sometimes sharks follow the tuna in and break the nets so we have to drive them away and mend the nets. If we lose the catch, then we also lose around two million dollars. It’s dangerous but pretty exciting.”
Lara shuddered and his arms tightened around her. She continued to stare at the pounding sea as she said, “You could have been killed.”
“Then you wouldn’t have needed to marry me.” Jack laughed as he twirled her around to face him and then hesitated as he registered her distressed expression. He said more gently, “It’s part of what I do, Lara. Who I am. I’m a fisherman first and a businessman second.”
Her eyes sparked into his as she grasped the lapels of his jacket. “No. You’re my husband first and the father of the baby we will have. How can you be as uncaring as to what might happen to you?”
“Don’t try and change me, Lara. I will always take care of you and if you have a baby, I will love and take care of our child.” He appeared puzzled by her outburst.
“I want you to love me, Jack. You said you would love our child. I want to be loved too.”
His brilliant eyes studied her as he analyzed what she’d said. She waited, her heart in her mouth. At last she had the courage to bring this into the open. She mustn’t fail now. She had to know.
“I care for you, Lara.”
She pushed him away. “That’s not good enough. I want more.”
“What if I can’t give you more?”
“Then our marriage will be over.” She flung her head back as she stared at him. “I love you, Jack Lucas. I
love
you, and I’ll accept nothing less in return.”
Twelve
“I don’t believe you.”
“What?” Her mouth opened in shock. She had just revealed the most significant, and painful revelation to this man. She had swallowed her pride to declare her love thinking it would break down this final barrier between them, and she was wrong.