Falling for Sarah (2 page)

Ethan eased the diaper away and swore. “Jesus, this isn’t right. It’s black and yellow. I think we need to take you back to the hospital.” He focused on the browning raisin protruding from her stomach. “And look at that thing on your belly button. It didn’t look like that yesterday.” Completely flustered now, he pulled a wad of wipes from the bin, knocked the diaper cream to the floor.

Kylee’s short gasping cries shrilled louder.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, kid. I’m trying my best here. You’re all right.” Ethan took the wipes, moved them over the baby’s bottom. “This stuff’s like cement. Man, I’d rather be in an alley with three UZIs pointed at my head.”

With Kylee’s tiny baby butt clean, Ethan clumsily placed the new diaper under her. He swore again when the tapes faced her stomach. Her legs moved about in her outrage, making it hard to flip the diaper around. “You’re not exactly helping me out, kiddo.” He adjusted the diaper and fastened the tapes.

“There.” Ethan buttoned the onesie, muttered a curse when he mismatched the snaps. “Screw the pink outfit. This will have to do. You’re worked up. I’m worked up.” He placed his hand under Kylee’s neck and head, scooped her bottom up with the other, like he saw Sarah do earlier. Kylee’s cheek rested against his heart and her cries turned to whimpers before they stopped.

“There you go, sweetheart. That was pretty awful, huh? I don’t know about you, but I think I’m going to have nightmares for weeks.” He walked to the rocking chair with Kylee and sat down. His big, callused palm played with the peach fuzz on her head as he moved the chair back and forth. “I think I was about to cry myself. Let’s keep that between us, okay?”

“Here you are.” Sarah peeked in the room with her mass of blonde hair twisted in a towel on top of her head. Her face was left unframed, showcasing big, exotic eyes, high cheekbones, and a lush Cupid’s bow mouth that smiled until she zeroed in on the mess on the changing table. “I see Kylee needed a change.”

“Don’t even ask. It was exhausting and traumatic for both of us.”

She chuckled. “Why don’t I take her?”

“Oh yeah, sure, now that the hard work’s done.”

Sarah reached down, took Kylee, leaving behind the floral scent of her soap.

“Sarah, I don’t know how to say this, but I think there’s something wrong with her.”

Frowning, she pulled the baby back from her shoulder, giving her the once-over. “What is it? What’s wrong with her?”

“Her umbilical cord is brown and her poop’s all gooey and yellow. Blackish stuff was stuck to her butt. I had a hell of a time getting it off.”

Sarah’s shoulders relaxed and her grin returned. “The umbilical cord is drying up and will fall off, the black stuff is meconium, and she’s breastfed. Everything’s perfectly normal.”

As if on cue, Kylee began to cry and root around.

“How do you
know
all this stuff? You’re so calm. I mean, you’re always calm, but my God, she’s so little and helpless.”

“When you grow up with an obstetrician in your house and your mother is obsessed with children in general, you learn. I’ve been around babies for as long as I can remember.”

Kylee whimpered and sucked on her fist.

“Do you mind if I borrow the rocker? I think she’s ready to eat again.”

“I thought she just did.”

“She’s establishing her milk supply.”

Ethan winced. “Jesus. Let me go take care of the TV for you.”

Sarah sat and began to unbutton her shirt. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Ethan?”

He stepped into the hallway, stopped.

“Your sandwich is on the counter.”

He smiled. “Thanks.”

Ethan brought the sandwich and bowl of fruit salad to the living room. He took a huge bite of turkey, avocado, and tomato before he put the plate on the sturdy oak coffee table. He pulled the tape from the side of the massive box and prepared to set up Jake’s new TV.

While he leafed through the instructions, Sarah’s soft voice cooed to her daughter through the baby monitor. He glanced up from the booklet and around the homey living room, listening to Sarah. A flash of envy for what Jake had snuck up, surprising him. Shaking his head, Ethan looked back at the directions. Marriage and family weren’t for him.

He was screwing the plasma screen on its base when a car pulled up to the curb. “Hey, Sarah, someone’s here.”

“Hailey, the college girl from down the road, was planning on stopping by. She’s desperate to babysit Kylee. You can let her in,” she said into the monitor.

Ethan tightened the last screw, stood. He walked by the large picture window, expecting to see the short, brown haired co-ed. Instead he watched four military men, dressed in dark green and khaki, step from a black sedan. His heart hammered against his ribs, his stomach sank. “Shit, no. Oh my God, no.” He whipped his head around, making sure Sarah wasn’t coming. He yanked the door open, stepped outside, closed it behind him.

As the men approached, Ethan stood in their path as if that would somehow change the news he knew they were here to bring. “What can I do for you?”

The group stopped in front of him. “Is this the home of Mrs. Sarah Johnson?”

“Yes, it is. Is he dead? Is Jake dead?”

“I’m sorry, sir. We need to speak with Mrs. Johnson.”

Ethan saw the apology in the man’s eyes. The sudden grief knocked him back like a heavy blow. Jake had been one of his two best friends for years.

The men tried to move past him. He blocked their way again. As much as he wanted a moment to catch his breath, he needed to protect Sarah more. “Don’t take another step. I get that you can’t tell me, but you’re going to give me a minute to talk to her first. She just gave birth yesterday morning. This is going to crush her.”

“We’re here to offer any support we can, sir.”

Ethan opened the door, let them in before him. “Please, sit down. I’ll go get Sarah.” He walked from the room, started down the hall to the nursery.

Stopping outside the room, Ethan fisted his hands at his side, took a deep breath. Memories flashed through his mind, one after the other, and he braced his hands on the wall. He took another deep breath, trying to steel himself for what had quickly become the hardest moment of his life. He was about to watch Sarah’s life fall apart.

He stepped into Kylee’s room, stopped. Sarah had taken her hair from the towel. Wet ropes of smooth gold rested on her shoulders. Her eyes were closed while Kylee suckled at her breast. If this were a picture, it would be titled ‘Beautiful Serenity’. He was about to destroy it. He took another breath, walked to Sarah’s side, knelt down, took her hand.

Sarah’s eyes flew open, stared into his. “You startled me.” A smile played across her lips before it faded. “What’s wrong?” She sat up straight, broke Kylee’s latch with her finger.

Ethan tightened his grip on her hand, willing her to take all the strength he could give. “Sarah, there are some men waiting for you in the living room. They’re Marines.”

Sarah’s fingers clutched his like a vise before they went lax. The bright, bold blue of her eyes dimmed. “Oh, okay,” she said dully. She stood, covered her breast, pulled Kylee close, automatically burping her.

Ethan draped his arm around her shoulders, walking with her and the baby to the living room. The men stood as they entered and the officer stepped forward.

“Mrs. Johnson, I’m Commander Michael Driggs. I’m here to regretfully inform you that your husband, Gunnery Sergeant Jake Johnson, was killed in action today at 6:34 p.m., Afghanistan time. The United States Marine Corps is truly sorry for your loss and is proud of the service your husband provided our country.”

Sarah stared at the commander for several seconds before she slowly sat down on the couch.

Ethan sat beside her.

She spoke, her voice barely a whisper. “Jake’s gone? He can’t be. He hasn’t held Kylee yet. He’s coming home in twenty-nine days to hold Kylee. He watched me give birth yesterday. He said he was coming home in four weeks.”

Sarah’s face paled with grief. Ethan swore he heard her heart shatter while the commander spoke. Her bubbly vibrancy had been replaced with fragility. He was afraid that if he touched her, she would break into a million pieces.

Ethan glanced at the man who now sat on the other side of Sarah. “Sir, Gunnery Sergeant Hunter Phillips is in Jake’s company. Is there any word on his welfare? He and Jake are—” he closed his eyes on a fresh wave of pain “—were my childhood friends. Hunter is also very close to Sarah.”

“Gunnery Sergeant Phillips was wounded in action. He was shot in the shoulder. He’s out of surgery and is resting comfortably.” Commander Driggs looked at Sarah again. “Sergeant Phillips tried desperately to save your husband, Mrs. Johnson. Is there anyone we can call for you at this time?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t think.” She looked at Ethan, lost. “I can’t think right now. I don’t want to do this. I want to be alone.”

He couldn’t stand to see her like this. He put his arm around her, pulled her close, pressed his forehead to her hair. “Okay, you don’t have to. I’ll take care of everything. Go lay down.”

The men stood when she took the baby and walked from the room.

“I’m sorry, Commander, gentlemen, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Do you have a card or a number I can take from you? I’ll have Sarah’s father call you as soon as I get a hold of him.”

“Of course, sir.”

Ethan took the card, walked them to the door, shut it behind them. He went to the small desk, found Sarah’s parents’ number programmed into the phone, and called.

Sarah lay Kylee in her crib, covered her with a light blanket. Her daughter slept soundly in the center of the mattress, unaware that their lives were forever changed. She stared at the photograph of Jake hanging on the wall above the crib. She had taken the picture the day before he left to finish his deployment, before they were aware they’d made Kylee. His big, cheesy grin and smiling brown eyes filled the frame.
Oh God, Jake. You’re gone. How can you be gone? I need you. I can’t do this by myself.

The dredges of shocked disbelief were melting away. Panic and dread quickly took their place. How was she going to live without him? Sarah glanced down at Kylee again as a thought circled through her mind. It brought such crushing pain she could hardly breathe. They would never meet. Jake would never touch the daughter he had helped create. Kylee would be robbed of ever knowing her father’s love.

Jake’s deep, infectious laugh echoed in her head and Sarah buckled. She would never hear it again. He would never kiss her or hold her again. Her breath shuddered in and out.

Ethan’s hands rested on her shoulders and she flinched. He turned her toward him. She stared into his eyes, saw the grief settled there, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Tell me this isn’t real, Ethan. Please tell me this isn’t real,” she said on a sob.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. “Come here.” He picked her up, sat with her in the rocking chair. Her long legs hung over the side, just skimming the floor as the chair swayed back and forth. Ethan cradled her close to his chest.

Finding comfort in the arms of her friend, Sarah wept as Ethan’s hand ran through her damp hair. “He’s really gone. I can’t believe he’s really gone.”

He lifted her chin as he spoke, choking on his own sorrow. “I’m making a promise to you right now, Sarah. You’ll never be alone through this. I’ll be here for you every step of the way, for as long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you.”

“Then I’ll always be here.” He rested her head against his chest again as their tears fell, mixing together on the hands they held clutched together.

Chapter 2

February 2013

T
HE OCEAN BREEZE BLEW THROUGH her hair as she framed the couple in the lens of her Nikon. The gorgeous man, blond and tan, stood ankle deep in the waves, smiling down at the dark haired beauty.

Sarah tightened her focus as the sun sank along the horizon, casting hues of pink and purple throughout the sky, creating a glorious backdrop. When the foam crashed around the couple’s legs, drops of water flew high in the air, and she knew she had her shot. She pressed the shutter button, capturing the moment. “What a picture you two make. You’re fantastic!”

Morgan looked in Sarah’s direction, smiled. Sarah pressed the button again as Morgan’s shiny brown hair flew around her face, accentuating the vivid green of her eyes.

“Let’s do a couple more. Both of you walk from the surf. Hunter, when I tell you, pick Morgan up and stroll along the beach.” She caught Hunter’s eye roll through the lens, Morgan’s quick jab to his ribs.

“Be a sport, Hunter. These pictures will be special memories for the two of you.”

He blew out a long suffering breath. “I stopped being a good sport two hours ago. This is the last one. I’m hungry.”

“Whine, whine, whine,” Morgan said as she smiled, drilling her finger into her fiancés well muscled stomach. “If you’re a good boy and do what Sarah says, you can be my date for our rehearsal dinner.”