Falling in Love in New York (23 page)

Abby smiled. “Thanks but maybe I knew deep down that something like this was going to happen. There were a couple of other things … little things, but I ignored them, I wanted to ignore them.”

“Maybe but at the same time, it doesn’t really change anything does it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, forgetting about me hasn’t really affected your life at all, has it?” His eyes twinkled. “My mates reckon I’m a complete pain in the backside anyway, so think of it as a lucky escape.”

“I doubt that,” Abby said, trying to raise a smile, but he could see the worry in her eyes. Then she looked at her watch. “Look, I really should be thinking about heading home,” she said distractedly. “I’ve already taken up enough of your time.”

“Not at all. I’m only sorry that meeting me was what brought all of this on.” As much as he’d wanted to bump into her again, Finn now had mixed feelings about doing so.

“Please don’t be. I’m glad I met you, honestly. You’ve been great, and probably the only person who hasn’t looked at me like I’m crazy for even thinking I could beat this.”

“Crazy is the last word I’d use to describe you,” he replied softly. “To be honest, I think you’re very brave.” 

“Thanks.”

The two were silent for a moment before Abby spoke again. “Look, I know this might sound weird, seeing as you hardly know me and all that…” she said, her voice trembling, “and you can tell me to get lost but if you like … but the thing is I really need to know if– ”

Oddly, Finn understood immediately. “You want to find out if you can remember me again after today?” he finished.

“Yes.” She looked at him with guilty eyes “I’m sorry, I know I have no right to ask...”

“Don’t be stupid. Of course you do and for my part, I’m very glad you asked.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel as though you’re part of some weird experiment or something.”

“It’s not like that. Anyway, it cuts both ways because I’m really interested in finding out if I’ve made a lasting impression
this
time round!” he joked lightly, and this time she actually laughed.

“OK then, so how do you want to work it?” he asked, his tone growing serious.

This was important to Abby and he wasn’t going to minimise it. Hell, it was important to
him
, and he hadn’t been lying when he’d said he was eager to find out if he’d made an impression. Having been single for so long and then finally meeting a woman who’d roused his interest, wasn’t it just his luck that the next time they met, she might not know him from Adam?

Despite Finn’s suggestion, Abby decided in the end not to tell Hannah or anyone else about this. She wanted to wait until she was a hundred percent sure that there really
was
a problem with a memory.

Like he’d said, there was still a chance that this was something isolated, maybe some temporary lapse she’d experienced while in Manhattan. The strangest thing about it all was that she was sure she could recall pretty much everything else about the New York trip, but had no recollection whatsoever of going out on her own and meeting him. As far as she was concerned she’d spent the majority of her visit at her sister’s, and since her return had been kicking herself for not seeing more of the city other than St Patrick’s.

For one thing, the very idea of Teresa allowing her wander around in a strange city on her own so soon after the accident was unimaginable, particularly as back then her mother had been watching her like a hawk. But as much as she desperately wanted to contact a member of her family and ask them if this were true, she couldn’t risk them knowing that she’d drawn a blank. All hell would break lose.

So only way Abby could really know for sure was by carrying out this experiment with Finn.

Still, it was taking every ounce of willpower she had not to diarise the events of that day, particularly when she’d really warmed to Finn–despite the shock to the system of learning that they’d already spent a considerable amount of time together.

But perhaps that was exactly
why
she’d warmed to him, because how on earth could she have absolutely no recollection of someone so gentle and lovely? Not to mention extremely good-looking, she thought with a smile, having no problems at all recalling from earlier those intense probing eyes and manfully handsome face.

For the umpteenth time, she cast her mind back to New York and tried desperately to remember something, anything at all that might jog her memory into action. But much to her dismay, there was nothing–nothing in the slightest resembling a jaunt around Manhattan, let alone with a good-looking Irish man.

She recalled what Hannah and the doctors had said about how certain memories or instances might very well be stored in her long-term memory, but due to the damage caused could begin to fade away much faster than was usual.

But while the shock of knowing that her memory was actually failing had been horrifying and completely overwhelming, her subsequent chat with Finn had made her feel a little bit better. For one thing, his suggestion that it didn’t matter what way her memories were stored as long as they were
indeed
stored made sense, and gave her back the one thing she needed in all of this–control. What he’d said about her having coped well up to now and continuing to carry on a normal day to day life made sense too. She
had
coped well and until today hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. Or at least she’d convinced herself she hadn’t Abby admitted guiltily, remembering how she conveniently explained away any unusual incidents as regular absentmindedness.

But ironically, Abby thought now because of her and Finn’s plan to test out her memory, she couldn’t write about today’s frightening discovery in her diary, nor could she make an account of the myriad emotions she’d experienced because of it. Because if it turned out that it was only her own
records
that were keeping her memories alive, didn’t it follow that if she tried to recall today’s events of her own accord–and without the help of her diary– then by rights she shouldn’t remember a thing about discovering it?

Exactly two weeks later, Finn rang the doorbell of the address he’d been given.

“Hello?” A friendly voice that definitely wasn’t Abby’s drifted out of the intercom.

“Um, hi,” he said, speaking nervously into it. “My name is Finn Maguire and I’m here to see Abby.”

“Oh. OK, just a sec, I’ll buzz you in,” the girl replied in a breezy tone that buoyed his confidence somewhat. Whoever this person was, she’d hardly allow him into the apartment without checking Abby knew him, would she? Which meant that she
must
have mentioned him, he thought heartily taking the stairs up to her floor. But if that was the case, then why…?

Abby opened the door, and seeing the completely blank look on her face, Finn’s heart sank to the floor.

“Hi, can I help you?”

They’d discussed this of course. Discussed what would happen if their experiment failed, and Abby didn’t appear at their agreed meeting point outside St Stephens Green shopping centre. He’d waited there for a full hour past the time, all the while stupidly trying to convince himself that there might be a perfectly normal explanation for her non-appearance.

He’d also arrived a half hour early, just in case she might get there before the time, and also because he was just as anxious as she was to find out if she would actually remember him.

But when eight o’clock came and went and Abby still didn’t appear, he knew that his (and even more so
her)
worst fears had been realised. She’d forgotten the meeting, which meant that she’d forgotten him too, all in the space of two weeks.

But even worse, and much harder for Finn, it also meant that as far as Abby was concerned, their conversation in the Green had never happened, so in effect, she still believed her memory was absolutely fine. This was the bit that from the outset had worried Finn the most and what had almost stopped him from following through with the second part of their agreement.

“How stressful will it be for you to have a complete stranger call to your house and tell you the truth? Especially when we both saw how finding out all this affected you today,” he added gently, referring to her fainting. “I’d really don’t want to be responsible for upsetting you like that again.”

Yet like it or not, they both knew that this was the only way this could work so, having waited well over an hour at their agreed meeting point, Finn eventually called to her apartment to break the news and yet again shatter Abby’s world.

She looked at him now, her expression so untroubled and completely innocent of what was to come next that Finn almost turned and ran. She didn’t recognise him, didn’t have a clue who he was or what he was about to say, so he could just as easily say nothing and leave her be, leave her alone to her happy-go-lucky world.

But deep down he knew he couldn’t do that; he’d made this girl a promise, and whether she knew it or not, she was depending on him. And unfortunately for Finn, this vulnerability was something that drew him to her even more.

“You were looking for me?” Abby said now, evidently wondering what the hell he wanted. He supposed he’d better say something before she got nervous and mistook him for some kind of nutter.

“Abby, hi. My name is Finn Maguire and I’m here because I have something very important to tell you.” They’d rehearsed what he’d say if things didn’t work out, and while it sounded reasonable enough at the time, now Finn thought it came across a bit overdramatic. Still, what else could he do?

As expected, Abby was a bit taken aback. “What? Who are you and what’s all this–”

“Abby is everything all right?” The other person, who Finn suspected must be a good friend or something, appeared in the doorway. “What’s taking you so …oh hello,” she said, smiling at Finn.

He swallowed, suddenly at a loss as to how to approach this. When they’d arranged this, there had been no mention of someone else being around, and he didn’t really want to break such awful news while … Then he paused, as something struck him. Maybe this was Abby’s way of ensuring that if their plan went awry, then she wasn’t on her own if he had to break the bad news.

It certainly made him feel a whole lot comfortable having somebody she trusted around, although he was a bit worried that the friend might deck him if he tried to upset her. She certainly looked formidable in any case. Then he suddenly remembered Abby mentioning her best friend when she’d spoken fondly of the experiences she’d had over the past few months.

“You’re Erin?” he asked.

“That’s me,” she said, and there was a brief silence as she looked from him to Abby, evidently seeking an introduction. As there obviously wasn’t a hope in hell of Abby doing so, Finn obliged.

“I’m Finn,” he told her. “Um, this is a difficult situation to explain, but I’m sort of a friend of Abby’s…” his voice trailed off, when he saw her staring at him in bewilderment. “If you could just let me explain – ”

“For God’s sake, come in then and stop loitering out there in the hallway,” Erin ordered, much to Abby’s chagrin, judging by the look on her face.

“Um, I’d better not, thanks all the same.” Knowing that Abby understandably viewed him as a complete stranger, Finn decided against going inside, hoping to at least try and gain her trust before dropping his bombshell. 

“OK then, I’ll leave you to it,” the friend said going back inside, despite the daggers look she got from Abby.

“I’m sorry, but what exactly is it you want?” Abby asked, her tone suspicious now. “What makes you think we know each other? And while we’re at it, how do you know Erin?”

Finn cleared his throat yet again. God, this was a hell of a lot harder than he’d thought.

“Abby, this is going to sound very strange, and I know you think you don’t know me, but I’d like you to just hear me out for a few seconds.” He took a deep breath, trying to remember it all word for word, just as they’d planned. “I know about your accident and that you’ve spent the last few months trying to create the memories of a lifetime hoping to try and undo the damage to your brain.” The fear in her eyes was enough to stop any man in his tracks, but still Finn refused to break stride. “I know you lost over a grand on roulette in Las Vegas, most of it on black 17. I know that you really wish you’d had the guts to hit one-hundred-and-eighty in the Ferrari. I know you never felt as close to your mother as when she took your hand at the high notes in
Aida
.  I know that you when you tried on that ball-gown in London, you wished that …” He looked down at his notes, “that Kieran could have seen you in it, just so you could prove him wrong.” Finn gulped, as all at once he saw her expression change from wariness, to bewilderment to outright panic. “Yes, I know that all of these things are personal to you, things you believe nobody else knows. But I only know because you told me about them all in great detail last time we met,” he blurted, eager to get it all out now. “You told me to help gain your trust in telling you something else you already know, but because of the damage to your memory have since forgotten,” he added sadly. “And there has been damage Abby, that’s what I’m here to tell you.”

“Who the hell are you and why are you doing this?” Abby gasped, her eyes filling with tears. “Get out of here, out of my sight now!”

“I’m sorry, but I had no choice …” Finn went on, troubled by the depth of her despair. “We both agreed that this was the only way to make you understand.”

“How dare you!” she cried. “How dare you come here and say all these things to me. Who on earth do you think you are?”

At the sound of raised voices, Erin reappeared at the door, her friendliness of earlier quickly displaced by suspicion. “What the hell is going on here?” she demanded. Abby, by now unable to speak, turned on her heel and raced back inside.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to upset her,” Finn said, with a despondent shake of the head. “Well, I knew all of this would upset her of course but …” He turned to Erin and tried to explain it all in a rush, how he’d originally met Abby in New York a few months back, and had bumped into her again two weeks before, but she didn’t remember him, how she’d realised that parts of her memory had been fading and in the end, how they’d agreed to carry out this experiment.

“I’d hoped that all this wouldn’t be necessary, and that she’d remember meeting me of her own accord and know exactly who I was. But when she didn’t turn up …”

He trailed off, realising how outrageous all of it sounded, fully expecting Erin to tell him to get lost.

“Hold on, you’re telling me Abby
knew
there was a problem with her memory two weeks ago?” She looked away puzzled. “But she never said a word.”

“She didn’t want to in case it was just a one-off, a freak occurrence. And she asked me to help her find out.”

Erin was shaking her head in bewilderment. “Which was how you knew my name.”

“Yes, she told me all about your road-trip to California, told me lots of personal things, things no-one else knew in the hope that it would be easier for her to trust a supposedly complete stranger. We thought it would help her believe me when I told her the truth.”

Erin was silent for a moment, and seemed to be considering this. “So you two met on Christmas Eve, and she didn’t remember a thing?”

“Yes … wait, how did you know it was Christmas Eve?”

She sighed and Finn couldn’t decide if it was one of resignation or relief. “Because we’ve all known for a long time that things weren’t right, but none of us had the heart to break it to her.”