I suddenly feel the need to rationalize myself. This all must seem ridiculous to Sophia, her charity case friend and the movie star. “It’s not like I’m going to go off and fall in love with him or anything.” Or anything, because Chris Jensen is doing everything in his power to make me fall so head-over-heels in love with him that I will be destroyed for anyone else.
“Good.”
“He’s a New York distraction.” It’s already gone too far for that, the little voice in my head says. “I know you didn’t want to take me to the Statue of Liberty, so I found a replacement.”
“If he’s willing to take you to the Statue of Liberty, you better hold on tight, because you’ve found your soul mate. No self-respecting New Yorker goes to the Statue of Liberty.”
He promised to take me tomorrow.
“You know us Midwesterners. Always trying to see the Statue of Liberty.” Sophia loves it when I make fun of Ohio. “We’d do anything for that.”
“Hallie…” Her voice is a warning.
“Say it, Sophia.”
“His flings usually last a week or two and then he gets bored. He probably told you that you’re the sexiest thing that he’s ever seen and that, and I quote ‘saying no is the equivalent of saying that you want to be alone for the rest of your life.’”
He didn’t say those things, except in jest when he was trying to avoid going to his audition, but I nod anyways. The feel of his expert hands roving over my body told me that there had been countless other girls, but I need to hear it aloud. Maybe
I can still save myself. I harbor
some hope for
an ending that involves
my heart not breaking into a million pieces.
“It’s just a little fling.” The casual words seem wrong, even to my ears, but Sophia’s nodding vigorously.
“Then, the timing’s perfect. You’ll dump him right before you leave.”
“
I
t’s not like he’s the love of my life.”
I’m trying to convince myself now.
“
No, that spot is reserved for Benjamin Ellison the third. Tell me,
how does Ben feel about the fact that you’ve found yourself a new boy toy?” Sophia’s giving me a devilish look.
I’m
puzzled for a second, beca
use I haven’t thought about Ben, except in passing,
in the last two days. Usually, I can’t make it two whole minutes without thinking about him. “Ben?”
She swats my arm. “Ben, your best friend? Only the person that you’ve been head over heels in love with for five years?
“Don’t remind me.” I groan. “He’s going to kill me. I still haven’t called him back.”
She nods in satisfaction. “Don’t.
Jealousy
is the only sure way to get yourself removed
from the friend zone
.
I can tell you for a fact that
not calling back, in conjunction with a mysterious new movie star boyfriend,
would make anyone jealous.
This may even work on
Ben, who’s somehow managed to remain blind to the fact that his best friend is totally gorgeous
and desperately in love with him
.”
She
peers at me closely, her eyes twinkling
. “
Unless your affections have switched and fallen on
a tall, black-haired movie star.”
I don’t say anything for a long time.
She squeals. “They have. Does this mean that you’re finally over
Ben,
the blind idiot?”
I bury my head in my hands. “I don’t know. Maybe. Chris is totally amazing. Would it be crazy for me to say that I might have finally gotten over my ridiculous and totally hopeless Ben crush?” I know that I’ve already revealed far more than I intended
, but I continue to dig a deeper hole
.
“Yes. It’s totally crazy, especially given the fact that I’ve spent hours listening to you moon over him. If Chris Jensen can make that stop, then he deserves to be congratulated. We need to celebrate.”
She runs to the kitchen and comes back with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. “This, my dear Hallie, calls for the good stuff.” She shoves a shot into m
y hands. “To Jensen knocking all thoughts of Benjamin Ellison from your mind.
”
I throw it back. Great. So now I’m just moving from one hopeless situation to another.
T
here’s a question that I really need to ask
Sophia, even if I don’t want to hear the answer
. I sit back up and look at her in the eye. “Tell me. How screwed am I?”
She shakes her head at me and wags her finger. “
With
Jensen? You’re totally screwed.”
It wasn’t the answer I
wanted
, but it’s definitely the one I’ve been expecting. I want to bury my head into the pillow, but I throw it at her instead.
“That’s what I was afraid of.”
“He’s a total womanizer,” she says, patting my shoulder comfortingly. “But I hear that he is absolutely fabulous in bed, so there’s that at least.”
“If we ever get there.”
“
Oh, you will. With my help and a little
bit of makeover magic, you will.”
She raises
another shot and clinks her glass against
mine.
“Here’s to making that happen.”
“
Sophia
, I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself. I don’t need…”
I try to protest, but she’s already pulled me into her closet
, bottle of
tequila
in hand
.
There’s a glimmer in her eye as she peeks out from the curtain of clothes.
“
We’re going to make sure that there’s no way he can resist you.
Silk or jersey?”
Chapter 16
CHRIS
“Where have you been?”
Diana’s waiting for me with her best mom face on as I slip into my apartment. Shit.
I settle into one of the stool
s
at the
bar
in the kitchen. I don’t
answer
the question
. “Where’s Dad?”
“He wanted to take a walk around the city. Alone. Said, ‘Get out of my fucking way before I hurt you.’ It was a really great thank you after we spent all day in the pain management clinic.”
Her voice is bitter.
“Yeah, he’s great that way.”
She’s
still
circling me suspiciously. “
You didn’t answer my question.
Where were you?”
I give her a half-truth.
“I had that audition. For James Ross. I told you.”
“
How’d it go?”
“Don’t ask. I sucked.”
“
Good.
You
would have
made
a terrible James Ross.”
“Thanks, D. You a
lways know just the right thing to lift my spirits.”
“
Those movies suck anyway. I think we need to celebrate
. My little brother isn’t going to pimp himself out to become some action star.”
She grabs coffee and pours two cup
s and raises hers to mine
.
Diana has never picked up a drink in her life.
“
I will not be him,
”
she said to me when I was fifteen and she caught me stumbling in from one of Sam’s parties.
“
Alcoholism is hereditary, you know.
”
I had never heeded the warning, but
I would not be him. I would not be him, I repeat to myself. I paste a too-wide smile on my face and raise my own.
“You really know how to have a good time, D.”
“I always have a good time. Especially when I find out that I’m not going to have to spend the rest of my life being Chris Jensen’s big sister.”
“I’m glad that you can find the joy in my total failure.”
“That’s what big sisters are supposed to do.” She touches my arm. “I’m sorry about the part, Chris.”
I shrug. “It’s okay.” I’m smiling a little bit to myself, thinking about Hallie.
She’s instantly
suspicious.
“
I know that look on your face, and y
ou didn’t sleep here last night.
You know how I know? There was an absence of the usual slut parade.”
I shoot her a dirty look, but she’s right. Diana’s usually good for making breakfast and coffee for
the walk of shame girls who emerge from my room whenever I’m in New York
. In truth, I think she likes to hear them whine about all of my asshole tendencies.
She’s never going to shut up unless I give her what she wants.
“I met someon
e.”
Those words have never come out of my mouth
before,
to Diana or anyon
e else
. Usually it’s more like, “Tell me how to get rid of this crazy bitch.” M
y sister’s face is disbelieving
.
“Who?”
“A girl, Diana. A girl.”
“I was pretty sure you hadn’t switched to the other team, but thanks fo
r confirming that. Who is she?”
M
y mouth
remains
firmly shut. H
er eyes widen
and she squeals
.
“My baby brother fell in love.
” Her voice is teasing and full of curiosity.
“
Who is she? Someone from LA?”
I don’t argue with
the first point and I address the second vaguely
.
“I met her
a couple of nights ago at a party.
She’s…”
Diana’s eager now, coming around the counter and poking me in the stomach.
“She’s what? Married with two kids? A supermodel? No, let me guess—ballet dancer. Definitely a ballet dancer.
You have a weakness for those dancer legs.
”
If things go my way, Diana will meet
Hallie
soon, so there’s no point in lying about it, even though
I have a feeling that
she
is about to find this highly amusing. “She’s
Sophia
Pearce’s friend from college.”
I was right. I
t’s a good minute or two before she’s able to stop her laughter.
She’s listened to my rants about
Sophia
Pearce more times than I want to remember
right now. They’ve met a couple of times, and
Diana
’s impression was far from favorable.
She
was the first person to tell me that girls like
Sophia
Pearce were always more trouble than they’re worth.
I turn back to Diana, who’s finally managed to get some words out.
“Irony. There it is. But what are you doing, falling in love with
Sophia
Pearce’s friend?”
I still don’t correct her choice of words. I’ve never been in love with anyone, not even halfway, but I’m pretty sure I could spend the rest of my life falling more deeply into
Hallie
Caldwell and it would never be long enough.
I groan.
“I have no idea how they’re friends, honestly. They’re nothing alike.
Hallie…” Just saying her name makes smile.
“She
wants to be
a teacher and she’s from Ohio
and she’s beautiful and sweet and she makes me laugh
.”
I’m trying to find the right words to describe her to Diana and
my
description is shallow and ina
dequate
. I shake my head
. “She’s the most authentic person I’ve ever met.
She says whatever’s on her mind, and she…
”
I trail off. I sound like a moron.
Diana
just nods knowingly, which irritates me for some reason
.
“When do I get to meet her?”
“Soon.”
She’s taken aback at the words. Usually, I shy away from
directly
introducing her to anyone, even my friends. With Dad in the house, it’s not like I really wanted people to hang around for too long.
The girls in the morning were different, one-time things, and Diana and I were both well aware of that fact.
I want more with Hallie, even if my life is royally screwed up, and the first step is introducing her to
the most imp
ortant person in my life. I smile at her. “I want you to meet her.”
“Okay, then.” She pats my arm. “Never thought I would see the day.”
“
I should have
kidnapped her and brought her with me. I left her with Sophia, which I’m starting to think was a very bad idea.”