Authors: Sadie Grubor
"Mia…"
his voice pulled me out of my frozen state. I pulled Mia behind me, taking a
protective stance. As I eyed him with a silent threat and challenge, Mia tried
to move around me but I kept her blocked.
"Christopher
move!" She hit my back, but I wasn't moving. "Damn it, move!"
"Who
the fuck is this?" He sneered at me and took a step closer.
"Jace,
I am so sorry. I don't know how to apolo –"
"
You
have nothing to apologize for," he said, his eyes never leaving mine. "This
asshole on the other hand –"
"Here
use this." Laney appeared with a rag for his nose. Laney turned her eyes
to me with a furious glare. Mia shoved me harder and moved around me, toward
him.
"I'm
sorry Jace. It's just that…well…Christopher is kind of…protective," she
sounded disgusted when she said my name and I flinched. Then she hugged him. I
moved trying to grab her arm and pull her away. She yanked her arm out of mine
and turned on me.
"Let
go of me!"
I
dropped my hand and she turned back to him.
Why does she keep going to him?
"I'm
gonna go. I'll visit some other time, okay?" He turned toward the door.
"Jace,
Sean, don't go. Please." He shrugged at Mia and waved on his way out the
door. "Come on–" Her shoulders hunch forward and her head dropped.
Then she turned toward the stairs. I followed.
"Mia—"
I
"Leave
me alone," her tone was sad and defeated. I tried to speak again, but
again she cut me off. "Go away!" I put my arms around her. She shoved
me away and turned on me.
Her
eyes filled with heated angry fire.
"How
could you do that? What the hell is wrong with you?" She hit me in the
chest. "I cannot believe you attacked him! What the fuck did –"
My
possessive angry red haze started to return
. She was angry for me hurting
him? Who was he?
"Me?!
He kissed you and had his hands all over you!" I was seething and holding
her by her upper arms. She tried to yank away from my touch again.
"He's
an old friend, Sean’s best friend, and you completely overreacted. I can't
believe –"
"What
kind of friend? Cause his lips and hands were –"
"Don't
you dare!" She poked me in my chest. "I want you to leave!"
"Fine,"
I spit. "At least now I get why you don't want to marry me."
Her
eyes widened. "You're an asshole!"
"Don't
worry, I get it, I'm just the guy who fucked up and knocked you up. I get it
now!" The venomous words spilled forward before I could stop them. Regret
filled me after they'd fallen from my lips. I released her arms.
Her
eyes filled to the brim until she blinked and the large tears rolled over her
round cheeks. She fled up the stairs.
"I
suggest you go asshole." My head flew forward from the hard smack to the
back of my head.
"What
the fuck?" I spun around. Serena stood there glaring at me.
"You
need to get your woman, Elliott!"
In
my peripheral vision, Elliott stood "Baby…"
"Sit
down and shut up!" Her glare was now on him, but she turned back to me as
soon as Elliott froze.
"You
son of a bitch! How dare you treat her like that?" She brought her hand up
again, but I grabbed her wrist.
"Watch
what you say to me." I warned.
"Or
what?" she snorted, "You'll treat me like you just treated Mia? You're
such a bastard!"
Serena
shoved me. I stumbled. She made her way up the stairs after Mia. I turned
toward Elliott who was standing there with wide eyes.
"Don't
look at me. You've really fucked up this time." He crossed his arms over
his chest.
Anger
coursed through my veins. Grabbing my coat and keys, I stalked out to my car.
Jackson and Elliott yelled for me. I slammed the rental car door shut, revving
the engine and sped the tires.
How
could she….she is just so….His hands were all over her! His lips were on her
lips!
"Fuck!"
I slammed my fist onto the steering wheel and sped out of fucking Whidbey
Island.
Ten
days later, I rolled over in my bed, alone, to pounding on my door. I reached
onto my nightstand and heard bottles crash to the floor. I tried to locate my
cell phone. Once in my hands, I forced my eyes open. It was eleven in the
morning. Fuck my head. The room was too bright. I needed a few more pills and
vodka – definitely more vodka.
"Christopher,"
the muffled yell followed by more pounding on the door.
"Go
away!" I buried my head under a pillow.
Some
clicks and slams alerted me to their entrance. Then the voices got closer. I
sighed heavily into my bed.
"Christopher?"
Nicholas's was in stern mode. I'm sure he was looking over all the bottles I'd
gone through in the past ten days. "Christopher?" he said louder,
angrier.
"Get
out," I grumbled.
"No,"
he said back firmly. "We aren't going anywhere."
We?
Did Mia...? I turned over. My eyes focused on Nicholas and then Dr. J. I
sighed.
"Christopher,
I think we should talk," Dr. J lifted up two of the empty vodka bottles off
my floor with one hand and an empty pill bottle in the other.
"Nothing
to talk about," I growled and threw myself back onto my bed.
"Oh
I think there is –" Nicholas started, but Dr. J interjected.
"We
know what happened in Whidbey Island," he said grimly.
"Fuck
you." Growling, I put my arm over my face.
Their
retreating footsteps made me relax. I breathed out in relief they were gone.
When I heard my bedroom door shut, I looked up, greeted with the sight of Dr. J
standing with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Get
up," he said like a drill sergeant.
"Fuck
you! Get out!"
"Fuck
you! Get up!" he responded. My head snapped in his direction. I wasn't
used to him speaking that way. He smirked. "I'm not above forcing you out
of bed."
I
sat up and put my feet to the floor, leaning my elbows to knees.
"Get
your ass in the shower and then meet me in the living room. We have some
talking to do." Something smacked me in the arm. I looked over to see a
bottle of Tylenol on the bed. Then my door closed. I sighed and headed for the
shower.
In
the bathroom, I tossed the Tylenol into the trash, showered, and dug through my
medicine cabinet. Oxycontin would work much better at numbing the pain. Walking
back out to my bedroom, I scanned different clear bottles on my floor. Finally,
my eyes located one tilted bottle with a quarter inch of clear liquid. I popped
two pills in my mouth and chased them with the last of my Vodka binge.
Once
I dressed, I entered the living and found Dr. J sitting on a chair with two
full coffee cups sitting on the table in front of him. I slouched down into the
couch and put my head back. The numb feeling was setting in. I welcomed it with
open arms.
"So
we're all the way back to the beginning huh?" Dr. J broke the silence. I
shrugged. "Christopher," he sighed. "I think it's time to get
you some rehabilitation."
I
snapped my head up.
"What
the fuck are you talking about?"
"I
think we need some more intense work, Christopher, just you…no outside
interference," he looked me straight in the face.
"I'm
getting better…I can't…I'm not the way that I was," I snapped.
"You
bruised her arms," he snapped back.
A
heavy breath left my body. No pill or drink could numb this feeling.
"I…what...?"
I coughed out.
"She's
fine. But you not only attacked a friend of their family, but you grabbed her
arms hard enough in your rage to leave marks on her." He sighed. "We
need to work on your anger more. Not to mention this relapse." He motioned
toward me.
"I-I
need to apologize to her," I panicked.
I
never meant to mark her, to hurt her, I would never…but I did. I was no better
than he was.
"I
think you need to get help…" I couldn't hear him any longer. My mind
filled with Mia. I left the room for my cell.
I
dialed her number but got no answer. I called Elliott, no answer; Jackson, no
answer; Serena, no answer. Collapsing to my floor on my knees, I screamed. My
phone was blinking and my heart fluttered with hope; however, when I looked at
my phone the flutter turned into claws ripping through my chest.
It
was a message, from Serena. She sent a picture message. It was a picture of an
arm with perfect blue fingerprints. 'Stay away, Asshole!' was her accompanying
text.
When
his hand lay on my shoulder, I launched at him with all my force. All the
sadness, fear, self-hate poured into it. Dr. J caught my arm and pushed me over
until he could pin me to the floor. I sobbed.
This
would be it. I lost her. There was no forgiveness for this. I'd become the man
I hated most.
I
was him.
*
* * * *
After
he was gone, Serena lay with me for hours until I calmed down and stopped
sobbing. When she gasped, I turned my head. Following her gaze, my eyes took in
the bruises on my arm where Christopher had held onto me.
"He
didn't mean it and he didn't realize –"
"Are
you fucking crazy? Don't make excuses for that asshole!" She was spitting
fire.
Sighing,
I lay my head back down on the pillow. I heard a clicking noise, but ignored
it. Serena left my room soon after stating she was going to get me something to
eat.
Serena
called Una and told her about what happened. When I found out what she had done
and said, we argued.
It'd
been ten days when my phone rang. I didn't answer. I couldn't. Nicholas had
called prior to Christopher and told me that Christopher had relapsed. Dr. J
and he were going to be taking care of him and it was best if I, and everyone
else for that matter, didn't respond to him. When the phone rang, my hand
twitched to answer the call. Serena grabbed my phone and shut it off.
Three
days later, Nicholas called.
Apparently,
Nicholas with the help of Dr. J set Christopher up in an exclusive rehab that
most people thought was a spa. Admitted under medical orders, he couldn't just
leave and it cut him off from the outside world during the detox phase. I
understood what he was saying, but my heart didn't. All my heart knew was that
everything hurt with him gone.
February
arrived and I hadn't heard from Christopher or heard anything else about him. I
was sitting at the piano in the basement of our house when a small flutter
tickled my stomach. I froze. My hands went down and felt the fluttering again.
It was like bubbles rolling through my abdomen. I couldn't contain the giggle
that spilled up from my lips.
I
finally felt happiness. I was happy to be here and I was happy to be pregnant.
The warm tears spilled over my cheeks and I began to play. The chords seemed to
flow freely from my fingers. With such a small movement, I felt alive again.
The
paparazzi hadn't found out about the pregnancy, yet; however, I was still
nervous to leave the house today. My stomach was more prominent and it was
almost unmistakable. I stepped out of the house, ushered by security into a
heavily window tinted, black car. Slouching into the seat, I closed my eyes. I
kept thinking about Christopher, about the baby, about everything. He was
missing things and I was missing him, but what if he came out of everything not
being able to handle this.
Would he be around to see the baby?
I cradled
my belly and swallowed my tears.
The
car stopped in the back of the recognizable large brick building. My security
guard helped me into the rear entrance where I was escorted the familiar room. He
stayed in the hallway. I changed into the thin cotton gown and waited. When I
heard the knock on the door, I assumed it was the doctor.
"Come
in," I called out.
"Hey."
I looked up and almost leapt from the table.
"Oh
my god!" I wrapped my arms around Kat. "When did you get here?"
"I
tried to be here before you, but as you can see…I wasn't," she shrugged
and laughed.
Kat
stayed with me during my doctor appointment. She got teary eyed with me when
the heartbeat filled the room. Kat held my hand as the ultrasound technician
did my final scan and stood by me when the tech told us the sex of the baby. I
was so happy not to do this day alone and going forward Kat had deemed herself
my pregnancy companion. I owed her big time.
Security
successfully got us in and out without so much as a flash or second glance from
anyone. Back at the house, we ate dinner, played some songs together, and then
settled for a movie.