Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Orphans & Foster Homes, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse
ALL GASSED UP
Horribly overpriced chains
purchased and “how to install ’em”
tutorial complete, we hit the highway.
Normally, the yeasty scent
of the Schat’s Bakkerÿ bread
on my sandwich would strike me
as pretty much heavenly.
Today it’s making me slightly
nauseous, a fact that Trey, who
is inhaling his own sandwich,
can’t help but notice.
Have you
decided what to do about that?
I want to sound defiant, but
the best I can accomplish
is a miserable, “Do about what?”
Trey shrugs.
I can’t pretend to
be your friend, let alone your
dad. We barely know each other.
But I am a pretty good judge
of character, and I can see
you’re a special kind of girl.
Special kind of girl? “What
does that mean?” And am
I as pea soup green as I feel?
Don’t get all huffy now. All
I meant was, you’ve got a look.
In prison, we’d call you a fish—
someone new to the scene.
I figure you’re new to getting
laid. Probably how you ended up—
Before I know what my mouth
is doing, it opens and out spills,
“I know how it works! I wanted to …”
We both realize I’ve said too
much. Trey is quiet for a time.
Finally he says,
You can’t keep
someone who doesn’t want
to be with you. Not that way.
Not any way. Believe me, I know.
ON THE FAR SIDE OF BISHOP
The highway begins
a long, lazy climb up
toward Mammoth
and June Lake. Up
toward the clouds.
Ten or so miles up
the grade, snow
starts to fall in soft
flurries. It doesn’t
seem to bother Trey,
who continues, Y
ou
probably don’t want
to hear this, but I’m
going to tell you anyway.
I was so in love with
your mother, my heart
could barely hold it
all. The crystal, yeah
,
that was an issue
,
right from the start.
Messes with your head.
When we went to jail
for trafficking, we had
no choice but to do
time, crashing hard.
I was glad to be clean
when they let us go.
Especially when I found
out she was pregnant
with you. I proposed
right away, and you
could have knocked
me over with a burp
when she said yes.
It was the happiest
time of my life. When
you were born, I thought
nothing could tear us
apart. And then we let
the monster back in.
Part of me was so
scared for you. More
of me wasn’t scared
of a goddamn thing.
And Kristina? She had
more balls than any guy
I’ve ever known. What
she didn’t ever have
enough of was love.
Not for me. Not for you.
Not for anyone who
came before—or after—
us. She used who she
could to get what she
wanted. And then she
tossed them like trash.