Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Family, #General, #Orphans & Foster Homes, #Social Issues, #Adolescence, #Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse
Author’s Note
This is the third and final part of the saga begun in my first novel,
Crank.
When that book released in October 2004, I could not have predicted its phenomenal success. The story in
Crank
, and in its sequel,
Glass
, is shared by many. But even those whose lives have never been touched by this particular monster are drawn to Kristina. Despite her many flaws, they come to care about her and her family. Especially her children.
Originally, I never planned a sequel to
Crank
. But readers demanded more of Kristina’s story. I could probably write ten books about her fall from grace, but series often degrade over time, and I don’t want to give my readers progressively weaker books. Rather, I wanted the final Kristina book to be the most powerful of the three. And I believe I’ve done that with
Fallout
.
The book is written from the points of view of her three oldest children, now teens in the book, and dealing with their own lives, which have been shaped by the choices she made when she was their age. At the time I pen this description, the real “Hunter” is thirteen, but I write him at nineteen in
Fallout
. Which means I’ve written the future. Please remember it’s only one possible future, created from how I see these children’s lives now. And also please remember that, while these books are rooted in our real life, they are to a large degree fiction.
I chose to pull out of Kristina’s point of view, into her children’s to give them a voice, and to give voice to my readers who struggle with their own parents’ addictions. There are many. I also believe the ultimate hope of these stories lies here, with the generation that can choose to break this cycle. You will get “the rest of Kristina’s story,” through different lenses because “the monster” doesn’t only destroy the addict. It tries to destroy everyone who loves him or her. Parents. Children. Partners. Spouses. Friends. If this describes you, take care of yourself first. Get help if you need it. You might find a sense of peace and community in an organization like Al-Anon. Above all, please know, without a doubt, that you are not alone.
Table of Contents
So You Want to Know
If You Don’t Know
Foreword
Chapter One
I Kind of Enjoy
Picture the Ideal Girl
I Am Genetically Predisposed
Nikki Isn’t Home Yet
I’ve Asked the Question Before
In Mom’s Book
Not That I’ve Ever Once
I’ve Got a Little Problem
As I Ponder the Question
That’s It?
I Bite Down Hard
As the Words
Enough Already
The Wood
Sometimes I See Faces
I Suspect
Aunt Cora Insists
Generally
Can’t Bear the Thought
That Felt Right
I Hate When I Bleed
She Doesn’t Take it Seriously
I am in the Den
I Slip Quietly
And he Does
Grandfather is Stern
Sometimes, When it’s Just
And Where I Came From
I Have Managed
All Things Considered
The Monster
Mine Isn’t the Only One
Screaming
I’m Fifteen Now
Screaming, Again
Darla is a Different Story
Gawd!
I Totally Know Treed
Maybe That’s Why
My Mother
I Couldn’t Say That, Though
It Was Nasty
Goddamn Meth
It’s Not Hard to Find
So Far
I Think of Them Both
Maybe What I Need to Do
I Watch the Pair
Matt Walks Me
Saturday
The Remote
It’s a Half-Hour Drive
Especially Football Games
Most of Them
And there is Nikki
I Notice Her Mom And Dad
Why Do I Promise
In My Arms
He Does Kind of Look
Married?
As I Pack Up the Van
Maybe Corrine
For Example
That Detail is Confirmed
Kristina, Scheme Queen
Cynical?
Change is Coming
Aunt Cora
She Doesn’t Say that Now
She Pauses
The Fifteen-Minute Ride
I’ll Never Forget
Somehow he Didn’t Get
Instead, She Stayed
Whatever She Is
I Shouldn’t Have Worried
When We Walk Through the Door
It’s not Like
Time
So Close
I Haven’t Had
The Bell Rings
Roused
Amber Light
I Open My Arms
A Memory Slams Into Me
I Never Told
My Body
Anger Mushrooms
She Stares at Me
Zero Remorse
Suddenly, I am Jerked
I Make Myself Go Limp
That Bad, Huh?
Darla Comes Into the Bathroom
If I Tell
My Mouth Opens
Despite Dragging
My Actions
Matt Finds Me
For the Most Part
I’m Not Really in Love
I Do Believe That
Nevada Day
When we Finish
Mom is an American Idol Devotee
This Must Be
Something’s Wrong
The Revelation
I Realize Suddenly
A Warm Ginger Fog
I’m Sort of Ambivalent
Nikki’s Eyes
What, Exactly, Did I Do?
Might as Well
Good Plan
There’s an Understatement
And now the Brood
Speaking of Playing
I Stash any Residual Worry
A Little after Midnight
A Cold Rain
An Old Maxim Goes
Cherie Says
Maybe I’m Wrong
I Jerk My Locker Open
With my Back Toward
Mortified
I Think
How Do I Back Out Gracefully?
By the Time
Surprise Number One