False Illusions (False #1) (22 page)

The opening of the elevator doors opening make my head snap up to see him walking into the room. His eyes are locked on me, his face expressionless.

We stand there, a few feet apart. The silence is deafening. Yoel breaks the eye contact and walks over to the bar and pours a glass of brown liquor.

He’s drinking. Bad sign.

After taking a sip he sighs and looks at me. He opens his mouth, but shuts it.

Taking a step forward I bite my lip. “Maybe I should go.”

He nods. “Yeah I think so.” Rubbing his hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have asked to you to come. I’m sorry.”

I blink back tears. Of course he doesn’t want me here. He was riding on a high when he said I was someone special. Well, that hurt.

I nod. “Of course.” I started to move toward the door.

He cursed and met me there pulling me into his arms. “Fuck, baby doll. It’s not what you think.” He pressed a kiss to my head. “I just need time.”

Time. I hated that word, but I couldn’t argue with it. I wanted time right? Now he needed his.

“You walked out on me. You know what that did to me?” He grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him. “I told you I loved you and you snuck out on me. Come on, Madison.”

“Loved?” I frown. He
loved
me.

“Seriously?” Yoel tightened his hold on my chin. “I just told the press you’re someone special to me. I love you, Madison, but I’m pissed with you. The night I came back here and turned into someone I never want to be again. Now that I’m not training I want to take a step back and think.” His eyes soften. “Just give me time, like I gave you time.”

All I can do is nod. He’s right, I hurt him like he had hurt me.

He pressed the button and the doors opened, I stepped in and forced myself to turn to look at him.

“If I could go back, I would have never left.” A tear slips as the doors closed.

This is the second time these doors closed when I’m breaking.

It’s been three days since I left Vegas. I haven’t heard from Yoel at all and I was surprised. He made it perfectly clear he needed time, and who I am not to give him that. Our relationship was now in the open, well the relationship everyone seemed to think we had. As for myself I wasn’t sure where we stood. I know he still loves me and that information alone is the only thing giving me hope

My mother told me the day after the fight dad dropped Marcus and is now in talks with Chris to get Yoel signed. I was still nervous about that. I haven’t heard a peep from my ex, nor has he been doing any interviews.

As promised Carter was now writing up what he calls ‘THE best story ever’ thanks to my dirt on Marcus. Not only did he get knocked out, but now every person with a subscription will know what a dog he is.

Even though Yoel isn’t talking to me I feel lighter. Still sad, but lighter. The past four months have been quite the adventure. I fell in love, got my heart broken, chased my dreams and met great friends in a new city. Sure, it was a mess, but it was my beautiful mess that led me to where I am.

I learned to just breathe. 

Begin Again-Taylor Swift

“How about this one?” Emma points to the floppy eared drooler.

Frowning I keep walking. “He drools.”

After two weeks of getting home from Vegas I decided to finally get a dog. Emma suggested a cat, but I shot her down. I hate cats. They are evil sneaky creatures that claw up nice shit. I mean things.

We have been at the local pound for almost an hour and I can’t seem to decide even though I keep finding myself back at the same cage over and over.

“He’s so ugly.” Emma walks up behind me.

“No, he’s not.” I squat and stick my hand through the metal bars to pet him. I think it’s a him. His white fur is littered with brown spots. It’s his eyes that get me. They aren’t just sad like the other dogs here, but they remind me of someone. He’s tiny, maybe about ten pounds. Yep, he’s the one.

“I’ll take him.” I look up at the volunteer and smile.

Emma frowns as we walk to the front desk to fill out the paperwork. “What are you going to call that thing?”

I think for a minute then shrug. “I shall call him Squishy and he will be mine. He will be my Squishy.” I try to hold back my laugh.

“Ha! Okay, Dory.” She smirks.

I drop my smile and look at her seriously holding up the form. “No, he is my Squishy and I shall love him.”

The look on her face has me laughing inside. Emma looks like I just told her Kim Kardashian’s ass was fake.

“Shut up. Tell me you did not name that ugly thing that.” She looks over my shoulder and gasps. “That is a crime. You can’t name a dog Squishy, Madison. If you bought a fish, then I can understand.”

I ignore her as the volunteer gets everything ready. Soon he is bringing Squishy out with a makeshift collar around his neck. Oh yeah, Squishy is a he.

Grabbing him I snuggle him close. My first pet.

An hour later we’re at the pet store rolling down aisles. Emma tries to get me to change his name the whole time until I have it engraved in the new name-tag.

Emma ditches me to go see Nick, who she is now dating. I’m happy for them. Carter is too busy trying to be the next Rick Reilly. Sometimes I question his sexuality.

Now it’s just me and Squishy sitting on the couch eating pizza and watching T.V.. My hair is tied up in a knot on my head and I’m wearing a pair of sweats I wasn’t even aware that I owned.

“You know you’re the best dog ever. Don’t listen to Emma, you’re not ugly.” I scratch between his ears. He’s perfect.

But I still miss
him.

The doorbell jolts me from my sleep. Rubbing my eyes I look at the time. I must have fallen asleep, it’s almost one in the morning. Who the hell? Squishy pops his head up to look at the door. We’re still on the couch and the T.V. is on playing infomercials. Swinging my feet over I turn it off.

The doorbell goes off again. Oh yeah, the door. I slip my new fuzzy pink slippers on and shuffle toward the door. Squishy is behind me hiding behind my legs. Great, I have a scared dog.

I unclasp the chain lock and put my hand on the knob. Wait. I live in New York. Granted this is a really good neighborhood I still need to get in the habit of actually checking the peephole. It’s there for a reason.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I jump back startled. Whoever is on the other side is determined to wake me and the dead. Squishy growls.

“Oh, now you want to growl, but you’re still hiding?” I hiss at him. He thumps his paw at me.

Looking back to the door I raise up on my tippy toes and look out the hole.

Taking a deep breath I slowly open the door.

“Hey, baby doll.”

Yoel is standing outside my door. His eyes are tired and his hair's a mess. His joggers and hoodie are wrinkled, his sneakers are barely tied. I almost miss the big suitcase by his side.

“Can I come in?” he asks hopeful.

I slowly nod and move to the side closing the door behind him. This has to be a dream, but the moment his scent hits my nose I know it’s not. He’s really here.

Squishy comes running across the room. His nails clicking against the wood floor. I didn’t even notice he left me. Traitor.

Yoel jumps back. “What the fuck is that?”

I scoop Squishy up and hug him. “My dog.”

His eyes flicker back to me and then Squishy. “Babe, that’s not a dog. It’s an oversized gremlin!”

Narrowing my eyes I cover my dog’s ears. “Don’t say that. You just can’t come into our home in the middle of the night and insult him. That’s rude. Tell Squishy sorry.”

He barks out a laugh. “Did you really call him Squishy?”

Ignoring him I set Squishy down. “What are you doing here at this time anyway?” I lean against the door.

He shrugs and pulls off his hoodie. It rides up showing off his hard body. “I’m done needing time.”

“Your phone doesn’t work?” That came out really bitchy, but he doesn’t seem to mind and starts rolling his suitcase to my room.

“Um, what are you doing?” I follow him.

Yoel kicks off his shoes by the bed and pulls down his joggers. “Babe, I’m beat, can we talk in the morning?”

Part of me needs answers right this minute, but another part is saying let him rest. As I watch him make himself at home I’m struggling with both parts of me. It has been two weeks and no word. 

Stop getting mad about the same things you did to him
. My mind screams.

Defeated I climb into my bed after him. Squishy jumps up and goes around in circles before lying down at the bottom of my feet.

“Does the gremlin not have a bed?” His arms come around my waist pulling me against him.

“His name is Squishy,” I correct him.

I can feel him laughing and elbow up him. He grunts, but doesn’t stop laughing.

It goes quiet and I can’t tell if he has fallen asleep or not. As for myself I can’t close my eyes. I don’t want to sleep. Feeling his arm around me still doesn’t make it seem real enough.

“Baby doll.” His breath tickles my neck. “I know you want answers and I promise to give them to you in the morning, but right now I just need to hold you. I missed you. Missed this. I love you. Relax and go to sleep.”

I nod and relax in his arms. Soon my eyes get heavy and slowly close.

The sound of clashing makes me jump. Sunlight is streaming through the window onto the bed. I don’t remember falling asleep. The spot next to me is bare and if it wasn’t for the sneakers near the door I would have swore I had a dream.

Sitting up I push back against the headboard and run my hand over my hair that’s now a lopsided bun.

I groan and roll out of bed. First thing first, I need to fix my face and brush my teeth. My hair looks as bad as it feels, and I quickly fix it, then wash my face.

Another clash comes echoing in the room making me frown. What the hell is that? Throwing on a hoodie I make my way to the living room. The sight before me makes me do a double take.

Yoel is standing bare chested in the kitchen over the stove. His perfect ass clad in a pair of black briefs. Squishy is sitting at his feet waiting for him to drop whatever he’s cooking, which smells like bacon.