She was aware that Pierce had stretched out on the other air mattress, his hands clasped behind his head. A scowl distorted his classic French profile, his distinctive nose protruding from his taut face like that of a fairy-tale villain. She could only imagine the angry thoughts bouncing off his brain. How quickly his love had turned to disdain. Instantly their history had been rewritten. She was not the woman Pierce thought he married, and yet he was, and would forever be, everything her heart desired. How cruel was that reality; how befitting its irony.
Zoe wished she’d never been born. Emotion tightened her chest. She closed her eyes, salty tears soaking the sides of her face. She turned on her side, her hand clamped over her mouth, stifling the sobs until she felt as if her head would burst. She’d been alone before. But having experienced the joy of being truly loved—after the dysfunctional relationships she grew up with—could she survive without it? Then again, had Pierce loved who she really was, or who he
thought
she was? Would he have loved Shelby Sieger? If she had come wrapped in that package, with all the baggage that went with it, would he have felt the same?
Zoe sat up and grabbed the roll of paper towels and tore off a piece, then lay down again and blew her nose. In spite of misrepresenting herself, had she ever lied about her feelings for him? Hadn’t she been a good wife? Wouldn’t she have been a loving mother?
It was irrelevant now. Motherhood was one more dream crushed by the weight of her deceit. The family they were ready to start would never come to be. The son and daughter whose faces she had imagined and whose names she had practiced a hundred times would never exist. There would be no Callie Jeanette Broussard or Tory Pierce Broussard. Because of her lies, she would be left with no one—not even herself. Zoe Broussard was a fraud, every area of her life exposed and laid bare. All that was left was the pathetic truth of who she really was and the lengths she had gone to conceal it.
CHAPTER 24
Vanessa stood at the railing on the Langleys’ half of the gallery above Zoe B’s, watching the horizon blaze pink on the first day of August. The morning breeze, lukewarm and almost damp enough to wring out, was scented with the delicious smells of coffee, warm beignets, and something spicy.
She wondered if Zoe and Pierce had reached Sheriff Prejean and told him about Shapiro’s threat and the frightening case of mistaken identity. How had they fared through the night—were they able to sleep? Were they talking to each other? Had they decided to split up? Had they called a truce?
Ethan came up behind her and put his arms around her, his cheek next to hers, the leathery scent of his aftershave overpowering the breakfast smells.
“Thinking about Zoe and Pierce?”
Vanessa nodded. “I hope they had a restful night, but I doubt it.”
“I’ll give them a call before I get to the clinic. There’s a pay phone at the convenience store on the corner. Maybe you can check in with them too, before you pick up Carter.”
“I will.” Vanessa smiled. “I sure miss our little guy.”
“Me too.”
“Something tells me he’s ready to come home. Four is young to handle a sleepover. I’m just glad he seemed enthusiastic about it since we needed the space to deal with the Broussards’ situation.”
“It worked out perfectly.” Ethan kissed her cheek, then moved over next to her at the railing and looked down on
rue Madeline
. “I imagine they’re pretty scared, now that they’ve had time to think about it. There’s a lot more at stake than just their physical safety.”
Vanessa sighed. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for Zoe, living with the deception and all those secrets.”
“Or for Pierce, who’s now looking back on his entire married life as a lie.”
“It’s so sad, because they really do—or at least did—love each other. If only Zoe hadn’t lied to him.”
“She learned to lie to cover her shame,” Ethan said. “She’d been doing it so long, it became second nature. I doubt it was a difficult decision to steal the ring and lie to Mrs. Woodmore. Zoe felt justified because she saw it as her way out. She’s responsible for that. But this thing with Shapiro really isn’t her fault.”
“Do you think Pierce will ever be able to understand why she made the choices she did?”
Ethan shrugged. “I don’t know, honey. He may not care
why
she did it, especially when it’s impacted him so deeply. If they’re going to make it through this, they’re going to have to look beyond themselves for the strength to forgive—Pierce to forgive Zoe, and Zoe to forgive herself and the parents who abused her. I’ve never seen forgiveness on that level come from human nature. It takes God.”
“They go to church, but I don’t get the sense that Zoe and Pierce really
know
the Lord or make Him a part of their everyday lives. Did you see how they looked at us when we joined hands and prayed?”
Ethan slid his arm around her. “Yeah, I think they were uncomfortable with it. But if they ever needed to know that God’s there for them, it’s now. They were probably more receptive than they let on.”
“I know Zoe’s afraid Pierce will leave her. Or worse yet, try to have the marriage annulled.”
“We know God doesn’t want their marriage to end over this,” Ethan said. “But it’s going to take Him to keep it from happening.”
Zoe sat at the antique table in the dining room at Langley Manor and looked out over the green cane fields, hoping the cereal bar and orange juice she’d consumed a half hour ago would stay down.
Why was she thinking of her mother? She had put the woman out of her mind for more than a decade. Was it because she was afraid? Almost as afraid as she’d been all those nights when she had clung tightly to her doll and waited in the dark, hoping her father would pass out before he made it to her bed? Why didn’t her mother ever try to stop him? That haunting question still angered her. Zoe had vowed way back then that if she ever had a daughter, she would never allow anyone to hurt her that way.
She sighed. What difference did it make now? She would never have a daughter. She and Pierce weren’t going to start a family. Or even start over. They were done.
Zoe heard the wood floor creaking and then footsteps moving toward her. She held her gaze on the cane fields.
Pierce came into the dining room and remained standing. “I called Jude again—at home and at the sheriff’s department. The answering machine didn’t go on at the house. But I got through to his office. He’s due in this morning, but they aren’t sure when. I’ll have to try back later.”
“Shapiro said he’d contact me again before the deadline and tell me where to wire the hundred thousand. He’s probably getting suspicious because I’m not answering my home or cell phone.”
“Probably so, Zoe! And he’ll only get more suspicious as the day wears on. That’s why I didn’t leave my name and number at the sheriff’s department. I don’t want there to be any written record of my call. For now, Shapiro probably thinks we’re out scrambling to get the money. But once the banks are closed, and he hasn’t been able to contact you, he’s going to make good on his promise to kill us. It’s just a matter of when.”
“Maybe Jude will find him,” she said.
“How? Since you don’t know his real name or what he really looks like. You just double-crossed a drug dealer—who believes it’s the second time you did it. He’s not going to let this go.”
“I’m scared,” she said, barely above a whisper.
“Well, you’re not the only one.”
An unexpected tenderness in his tone led her to think that he might be more concerned for her than for himself.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know being sorry doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re right. You should’ve trusted me, Zoe.”
“Really?” She turned and looked into his sad, dark eyes. “If I had told you how I got the money to start Zoe B’s, wouldn’t you have stopped seeing me? Maybe even felt compelled to go to the police—or to Mrs. Woodmore?”
Pierce didn’t say anything.
“I shouldn’t have lied to you. It was wrong. But from my perspective at the time, it was less wrong than destroying the good thing we had going. I was falling in love with you—something I didn’t even think was possible, given my childhood abuse. I knew telling you the truth wouldn’t undo the past. What it
would
do was wreck any chance we had for a future. It was self-serving not to tell you. I don’t deny that. But I never, ever intended to hurt you.”
“Did you really think that letting me fall in love with a fraud would not hurt me?”
“Yes, because I tried to be the person I led you to believe I was—the person I wanted to be.” Tears ran down Zoe’s cheeks. “I thought I could make you happy. You have to believe me.”
“Believe you?” Pierce rolled his eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding. And if you think you can manipulate me with your tears, forget it. I don’t feel sorry for you. What you did was beyond the pale. I don’t even have a word for that kind of deceit.”
Desperate,
she thought.
Desperate people do desperate things.
Zoe felt as if her mouth were stuffed with cotton. What could she say in her own defense? The very shame she worked so hard to hide had been laid bare, all her secrets exposed. Pierce knew she was a thief. And a liar. He knew she’d been sexually abused. And that she wasn’t Cajun. And her family was dysfunctional. Somehow his knowing the truth made her feel repulsive.
Pierce sighed. “I’m going to go clean up the best I can. And then I’ll try calling Jude again.”
Vanessa inhaled the delicious aroma as she drizzled warm syrup over the top of her pain perdu, at the same time observing Hebert, Father Sam, and Tex, who occupied the table next to her.
Savannah poured Vanessa a coffee refill and then moved over to the table with the three men.
“Tell me again where Zoe and Pierce are today,” Tex said.
“They had some personal business to take care of.” Savannah put some tiny tubs of creamer on the table in front of Tex.
“So Dempsey’s running da kitchen?” Hebert asked.
“Not this morning.” Savannah’s voice sounded playful. “Benson is.”
Tex snapped his suspenders. “Whoa. Your hubby’s back? Where’ve I been?”
“He’s not
back,
Tex. Just covering for Pierce.”
“Surely Zoe and Pierce are planning to attend Remy’s funeral Mass tomorrow?” Father Sam said.
“I didn’t ask. But knowing how Zoe felt about Remy, I’m sure they are.”
Vanessa took a sip of coffee, wondering if Zoe had given much thought to Remy since Shapiro threatened her—or had even heard that his funeral was Tuesday. Should Vanessa remind her? If the sheriff advised her to stay in hiding, would knowing she was missing the funeral just add to her stress?
“I’m going wid Emile today,” Hebert said, “to pick up Remy’s ashes. Maybe we can avoid da media since everybody’s distracted wid dat
potaine
at da medical center.”
“I’m afraid it’s turned into more than a ruckus,” Savannah said.
“She’s right,” Tex leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “I heard on the news that some black activists arrived from Baton Rouge and have been exchangin’ unpleasantries with white workers from the sugar refinery.”
Father Sam shook his head. “All we need is troublemakers from the outside stirring things up. We can work out our own problems. People are understandably upset and scared after Remy’s murder and then this senseless shooting. But getting groups from outside Les Barbes involved will just turn this town into a powder keg. And a media circus.”
“Oh, I think we’re already there,” Tex said.
Hebert swatted the air and said something in Cajun French that the others seemed to understand.
Vanessa took a bite of her pain perdu and pretended to be oblivious to the conversation at the next table. She and Ethan had been so consumed with Zoe and Pierce’s problems that they hadn’t even listened to the news to check the status of the racial tension that had been building outside Hargrave Medical Center.
The bell jingled on the front door, and a forty-something man came in and smiled at Savannah.
She grabbed a menu. “Right this way.” She seated him at a table next to the brick wall.
Zoe B’s was bustling this morning. At least things seemed to be running smoothly.
Vanessa finished her breakfast, eager to check in with Zoe and then go pick up Carter. She wiped her mouth with the napkin, aware that the man seated next to the brick wall had been staring at her for quite some time. She was used to getting double takes—but this was downright annoying.
She looked up and locked gazes with him, thinking he’d be embarrassed and look away. He didn’t flinch. Suddenly her heart was pounding so loudly that she was sure it was audible to everyone. Why did she have such a bad feeling about him?
She tried not to react and motioned for Savannah to bring her check.
“Here you go,” Savannah said. “Anything else?”
“No, breakfast was great.” Vanessa pasted on a pleasant look, then put a tip on the table and walked over to the register to pay her bill. All she wanted to do was get out of there.