False Security (15 page)

Paul wanted to
kill someone. The desire was growing by the minute and was already stronger
than he had ever felt before. If he couldn’t take his anger out on Sean like he
wanted, then anyone would do. But he was as defenseless as Rachel, now that she
was back at the estate.

At this moment, as Paul wore out
the grass beneath his feet, Donovan was in her room. Paul could not bring
himself to think about what atrocities Donovan committed against her, and Paul
could do nothing to help. It had been made clear to him that he was not allowed
anywhere near Rachel, at least not for the first several weeks she was back.

Still paying for her fleeing the
estate, he gladly faced unending punishment on her behalf while she was gone.
He would have continued forever, if it kept her safe. But he always knew that
at any moment, the time would come when Donovan would catch up with her. Paul
had managed to sabotage the search for her a couple of times before, but his
efforts only bought her a short amount of time. Donovan was nothing if not determined,
and with endless resources, there was no place Rachel could hide.

If she had not met Mark, she
wouldn’t have stayed so long in Wichita, and she would not be here now. All the
excitement Paul should have felt at her finding someone to love, and someone
who loved her, was washed away in the reality that Donovan found her and
brought her home. What would be a wonderful and romance-filled time for anyone
else in the world, backfired on both her and Mark.

Now that she was back, Paul
needed to save her more than ever, but there was no hope for either of them.
Mark would not be alive for much longer, maybe another twelve hours if he was
lucky. Rachel would revert back into the state she was in before she left the
estate three years ago.

Rachel was a smart girl, Paul
thought, smarter than most. She had always used her intelligence to her
advantage in every situation. More than that, she was a survivor. Paul knew
that even if she stayed, she would find a way to survive again. She would make
it through, no matter how many new scars she acquired. She would recommit
herself to both Donovan and to her role at the estate. Paul took small comfort
in that. If he could not help her, she would somehow be okay in the end.

An idea formed in his mind, and
Paul halted his pacing. Maybe there was a way to help her, but hope would come
only through one person: Mark. He could reach Rachel in a way Paul never could.
Mark had to convince her to leave the estate again, convince her to run far
away this time and never stop running.

It was risky, as Paul’s plan
relied on a man he had never met, but there wasn’t much choice. Getting her out
was the only way either of them would make it through this alive.

Rachel rolled
over in bed and watched Donovan dress. She held out her hand. “Why can’t you
stay?” she asked.

He slipped his arms into his
shirt and buttoned it up. “I have to go into town to take care of some things
and meet with Graham,” he said.

Though he had gone into her
bathroom and washed her blood off his face and hands, smears of her blood stood
out against his white dress shirt. Rachel knew he would change his clothing
before he left the estate, but her blood would never come out of his shirt.

A pang of guilt racked her, and
she took responsibility for ruining his clothing. The clothes she wore when she
arrived at the estate were also tainted with her blood. She would throw those
away not only because of the blood, but because they were a reminder of her
time away from Donovan. He would not want her to keep them, since anything that
was not from the estate did not belong here.

She withdrew her arm and pulled
the covers over her bare chest as she sat up. Under the surface of her eyes, a
well of tears threatened to spill over from the pain in her face. The swelling
on her face grew with every passing moment and intensified her pain.

A dull ache spread across her
cheeks and mouth, adding to the pain from Joe hitting her. The only unaffected
area was her nose. Donovan always made it a point not to hit her there, so it
wouldn’t break and alter her appearance. The rest of her face and body were
open targets, but he always preferred hitting her face.

She resisted the urge to assess
the damage with her fingers. She did not want Donovan to know she was concerned
with what he did to her, and call attention to his abuse. She risked sending
him back into a rage if he noticed her dwelling on her injuries.

He rarely lost control like he
had with the agonizing beating she had suffered, but the difference between now
and then was he had stored up three years of good reasons to punish her the way
he did. One more hit, even the slightest slap, seemed all that her face could
tolerate before it shattered into pieces.

Donovan pulled on his suit
jacket. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Get dressed,” Donovan said, and he left
the room.

Rachel looked down at the
blanket she wrung in her hands, and her forehead creased. Donovan’s absence
from the estate would be the perfect opportunity to somehow get to Paul and
find out what happened to Danielle and Mark.

Guilt flooded her as Mark
entered her mind. It was wrong to think about Mark, to wonder about him. This
was exactly what got her into trouble the last time. Donovan should be her only
concern. Falling back into the role she had played, into the life she had lived
was much too easy.

Rachel forced herself out of bed
and over to her dresser. She found a low-cut black camisole lined with lace,
and black pajama shorts, a nighttime outfit that was one of Donovan’s favorites
on her. All of her clothes smelled fresh, as if Donovan had kept her room and
clothes cleaned in anticipation of her return. Both of them knew she wouldn’t
be gone forever.

She slipped on the clothes,
wincing from the pain in her face as the shirt came down over her head. Even
bending down to pick up her dirty clothes pushed the limits of her broken body.
From what she could tell, it would take about three days for the bruises to
begin healing, and a full ten days or more for them to disappear. At least,
that’s what she remembered from the last time she sustained similar injuries.

Donovan returned, and she
welcomed him with a warm smile. He held a silver tray in his hand, the contents
of which were covered with a white linen. He sat down on the bed next to her,
and placed the tray beside him. He ran a finger under one of the straps on the
camisole, and lowered it down over her shoulder. “You look so beautiful in
this,” he said. He leaned over and kissed the crook of her neck.

Rachel prickled with goose bumps
at each brush of his lips against her cool skin, and she hated her body for
reacting to him.

“Are you trying to get me to
stay with you longer?” he asked.

She wanted nothing more than for
him to leave, and had only dressed in clothing she knew would please him, but
she couldn’t tell him that. “I wish you could stay, but I know you have things
to do,” she said.

“I’ll be back later tonight and
I’ll stay with you then. We’ll spend a lot of time together over the next
several weeks. We have three years of lost time to make up.”

Rachel forced a smile. “I can’t
wait.”

Donovan lifted the linen off the
tray on the bed. On top of the tray, another syringe filled with menacing
liquid sat next to an alcohol swab and a bandage.

Rachel could not contain her tears.
“Please don’t do this, Donovan,” she said. Even as she spoke, she knew he had
no other choice but to drug her. He would do it today, tomorrow, and for many
days, even weeks, to come until she convinced him she would not leave again.

“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he said. “I
don’t want to do this.” He raised his hand to her face and wiped away her
tears. “You know I only have the best intentions. It’s going to take some time
for us to get back to where we were.”

Rachel took a deep breath. “I
know that I destroyed your trust in me and I ruined everything we had together.
I am so sorry that I left you, and I wish I could take it back. Things will
change things between us, Donovan, and all of my actions will be made up to
you. I know what I did was wrong.” She laid her hand on top of his and pressed
his hand against her aching face. “But you don’t have to do this. I’m never
leaving you again.”

Donovan cradled her face in his
hands and kissed her. The kiss was filled with sensuality, yet laced with
innocence. Donovan had never before kissed her in that manner. His kiss was
always hungry and full of desire, but his lips now contained all the love he
still felt for her, even after so much time apart. It reminded her too much of
the way Mark kissed her.

Again, Mark invaded her thoughts
at the absolute worst time. There was no more room for Mark, not while she was
with Donovan. Their relationship would forever be in the past so that she could
rebuild her tattered life with Donovan. She never wanted it to end like this
with Mark, but here she was at the estate, in Donovan’s arms, tasting her
future with him. The situation in itself eliminated Mark.

Donovan broke the kiss, but kept
his face close to hers. “I have spent the last three years trying to figure out
why you left me. I came to understand I never gave you what you needed.”

“Donovan—” Rachel started.

“I know you’re sorry for what
you did,” he said. “You don’t have to try and convince me of that. But I also
bear some responsibility.” He took the alcohol swab off the tray and carefully
opened the package. The cold wipe rubbed against her skin, high up on her right
arm.

“I know you wanted more than
what I gave you,” he continued. “You wanted more freedom than I thought I could
spare. Once we patch things up between us, our lives together will be
different. You will have everything you need from me and more. When I know
you’re here to stay, you will have more freedom than you ever wanted. You won’t
have to do another job, not unless you want to. I want you by my side at all times.”
He stopped rubbing the alcohol on her skin and held her eyes with his. “I’ll
give you everything else you want, too.”

“All I need is you, Donovan. You
don’t need to give me anything else.”

“That’s exactly what I am going
to give you. Me. I want us to get married, Rachel, and I don’t want to wait.
Then you can move upstairs so we can spend our lives together. We can start on
a family. I never thought I wanted children, but I do want them with you. I
admit, I wasn’t ready for any of this before, but I am now. I need to share my
life with you.”

Rachel jerked her head back at
his revelation. He had never hinted that marriage or children were ever a
possibility in their world. Her chin quivered and the tears started again. She
was glad he never offered her such things when she lived here. If he had, she
may never have left. Without hesitation, she would have married him and had
children with him.

Now that he offered her these
things, she wasn’t sure she wanted them with him. If she had been a normal
girl, she would be back in Wichita with Mark, building their relationship until
it climaxed into marriage, kids, and an eternity filled with nothing but love.
Even now, she knew that is where they were heading before being ripped apart.

But none of what she felt for
Mark mattered now. She had to erase him from her life and from her heart. Even
though she did not know where Danielle was, Mark was still alive and she was
his only chance at staying that way.

To keep him alive, though, she
needed to prove to Donovan that he, not Mark, was her future and her only
choice in life. Then, after she successfully convinced him to let Mark go, she
would continue on the path that she jumped off of three years ago when she left
so abruptly. Donovan would hold true to his word and marry her. They would have
children that they could raise together.

It wouldn’t take much for her to
fall in love with Donovan again. She would truly want to be with him and have a
family with him. She wasn’t sure how his settled down lifestyle would impact
the affairs on the estate, but she would find out soon enough.

“You want that with me, don’t
you?” Donovan asked.

She believed more and more that
she did want it. Left with no other option for her future, she needed to
embrace their life together fully and unconditionally.

Rachel allowed a small smile of
approval at Donovan’s words. “Very much so,” she whispered in response, taking
the first step to get back in his good graces. “I’m yours, Donovan. I always
will be.”

He kissed her again. His love
for her again filled the kiss, and she did her best to reciprocate the emotion.
When he broke away, he said, “I am so glad to hear that. For now, however, I
have to do this.” He held up the syringe. “I am sorry, but I know you
understand the reasons behind my actions. I don’t want you to be upset with
me.”

“I’m not angry in the least,”
Rachel said. “I broke your confidence in the worst possible way. I know you’re
only doing what you have to for now.” She clutched the blanket in her fist and
braced herself for the stick of the needle.

“This is the same thing I gave
you before we left Kansas. As you know, the effects are immediate.” he said.
“Tony will be down in a few hours with another one. Once I return to the estate
tonight, I’ll come back to see you.”

The needle stung as it pierced
her skin and tore through her muscle. She couldn’t help but look back at her
arm and watch him push the liquid into her system. He took the needle out and
covered the injection site with the bandage. Like with the alcohol swab, the
small act of care and concern contradicted the way he had beaten her without
mercy.

Once he was done, Rachel glanced
back up at Donovan, her vision already blurry. Her body gave in to the
sedative, and Donovan put his arm around her to help her lay back down in bed.
He covered her body with her sheet and comforter and pressed his lips to hers
once more. She closed her eyes, with no recollection of ending the kiss.