The words hung suspended between them, leaden and full of unintended meaning.
“I was being…” she started.
“Flippant,” he supplied.
“Yes, only that never works out so well with you, which is why I invited Tosh first.” She removed her arms and pulled back to look at him. “I thought there was going to be a lot of drama this weekend, and I didn’t want to add our own special brand to the mix. But I was wrong because so far I’ve had a blast. If I had to be trapped with the Addams family, I’m glad you’re the one to share the experience.”
“That’s the only reason I was your second choice?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Not exactly. You know I’ve been sort of sad the last few months since I moved back home.”
He nodded.
“I thought this weekend was going to be like that, times ten, and I didn’t want you to bear witness to my pathetic state. But it hasn’t been like that. Instead of seeing everything I lost, and despite the fact that we’re acting out a page from
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,
I’m seeing everything I’ve gained. I can finally say I’m glad I’m not the one the monkey chose.”
“If I had a nickel for every time a woman said those words to me,” he said. “And, for the record, I am incredibly glad the monkey was too stupid to know what he was letting go. Furthermore, I’m having an absurdly good time with you, too. This proves my theory that away from work, family, the pastor, and murderers, we work amazingly well together. Speaking of the monkey, since he’s not here, can we take that off?” He glanced at her turban. “It’s disconcerting to feel like the woman you’re about to kiss has the Michelin Man perched over her face.”
“Sure,” Lacy said, already unwinding the uncomfortable scarf. She tossed it aside and closed her eyes when Jason ran his fingers through her hair.
“I love your hair, Red. Makes me sad you have to keep it covered up.”
She clutched his shirt and tugged him closer because what else was there to do after he ran his fingers through her hair? He leaned in and a prim voice to their right cleared her throat.
“Miss Enid requests your presence in the drawing room.” Hildy stood in the entryway to the bathroom, staring, but after she made her pronouncement, she turned and walked away.
“How long had she been there?” Lacy asked.
“Are we sure she doesn’t work for your grandfather? They both seem to have the same goal of keeping my lips off you.”
“We should probably go,” Lacy said.
“Okay, but no matter what happens out there, remember that we’re sticking together. It’s you and me; we’re a team.”
“A team,” she repeated. “Right.”
He lifted her from the counter and clasped her hand, leading her toward the drawing room. Everyone else was already gathered and waiting on them. Belatedly Lacy remembered that she left her scarf in her room, but the monkey appeared to have retired for the night, so it was okay.
“Oh good, you’re here. I was just getting ready to hand out assignments,” Aunt Enid said.
“Assignments?” Lacy repeated.
“Didn’t anyone tell you?” Robert asked, an impish smile firmly in place. “Aunt Enid planned this weekend as a murder mystery. A murder mystery bridal shower. Isn’t that great, honey?” He put his arm around Riley’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. Riley gave him a weak smile in return.
“Hildy is handing you a piece of paper with your assigned role written on it,”
Enid
said. “Everyone’s identity will be kept a secret except for two people: Hildy will be playing the part of the victim, and, since we have an actual police officer in our midst, he’ll be playing the part of the inspector.”
Hildy reached into a bag and pulled out a cape, deerstalker cap, pipe, and magnifying glass, shoving them into Jason’s unsuspecting fingers. Jason looked down at the items, looked back at Lacy, and spoke.
“The team is dead; I hate you.”
“C’mon, this’ll be good practice for when you’re a detective,” Lacy said.
“Yes, because it’s exactly the same.”
She crept closer, resting her palm on his stomach. “It could be fun.”
“I’m not saying ‘The game’s afoot, Watson,’ ever. So don’t ask.”
“How did you know I was going to?” she said.
“I just did. What did you get?” He tried to peer at her piece of paper, but she shielded it against her chest.
“I haven’t checked yet, and you’re not supposed to look. That’s cheating.” She hid it in her hands and turned away from him to take a peek. The first words screamed at her in all caps, and she actually shuddered. “MURDERER.”
Creepy,
she thought, reading on. “You kill the maid at dawn, before the rest of the household wakes, by bashing her head with an andiron. She stole your fortune, and this is your revenge.” It went on to list several clues that Lacy was supposed to try and drop into everyday conversation with the rest of the group.
“The game will begin when you least expect it,” Aunt Enid said. “I’m going to bed so I can be well rested for the festivities. Happy hunting,” she added, tipping her head toward Jason.
He gave her a grim smile in return and she took her leave.
“Oh, I think this is trays fun,” Rita enthused.
“You would, mindless hag,” Bob snapped.
“Shouldn’t you be swabbing the deck somewhere, Gilligan?” Rita yelled as they sat side by side on the couch. She turned to the rest of the group with a smile. “Aunt Enid has such a joy de viver, don’t you think, dear?” She addressed this question to Riley who didn’t know quite what to do with it.
“She’s certainly creative,” Riley said. She sank to a chair and Robert moved to stand beside her.
Sue’s lips moved, emitting the strange humming sound that was faintly reminiscent of a car with a dead battery, struggling to turn over.
“I couldn’t agree with you more, Sue,” Chuck said. Lacy wondered if he actually had any idea what his wife said, or if he had developed a system of innocuous platitudes. “This is ridiculous. I mean, Gregor had to miss work for this.” All eyes turned to Gregor who stared dazedly at the game in his hand. “And we’re supposed to be celebrating Robert and Riley, not playing some stupid game.” He shot to his feet and grabbed what remained of Gregor’s sixty-four-ounce soda.
“Hey,” Gregor said, lamely reaching for the drink, his arm waddle flapping madly back and forth.
“A toast,” Chuck said. “To Robert and Riley. May they have many years of marital bliss and be as happy as,” he paused, glancing at Bob and Rita and then at Sue, “as happy as they can be.”
“Hear, hear,” Bob said. Rita beamed and Sue’s lips moved in what was either more words or an extended yawn.
Chuck took a sip of the soda, grimaced, and set it down. “I like Riley a lot better than the last one he was engaged to. What was her name? The busty one with the red hair, the one Emeril Lagasse didn’t like.”
“Lacy,” Lacy supplied.
“Lacy,” Chuck repeated glancing at her at the exact moment he realized his mistake. “Oh, right, I forgot.” His gaze dropped to her chest and lingered until Jason cleared his throat and took a step forward.
“Sorry,” Robert mouthed from across the room, but Lacy could tell he was trying not to laugh. She crossed her arms over her midsection and resisted the urge to go take a shower. It was one thing to know you were curvaceous and quite another to have a creepy older man point it out. To add insult to injury, she had never actually met the man. She saw him for exactly five seconds before the monkey bit her, certainly not enough time for him to form an opinion on her character. Though if the lingering look he had given her bosom was any indication, character probably wasn’t the asset that interested him most.
“I think we’re ready to turn in,” Jason announced. He grabbed Lacy’s hand and led her from the room. When they were in the hallway, he turned, probably to commiserate, but stopped short when he realized Riley was following.
“We haven’t had a chance to talk,” Riley explained. “Plus I need that necklace you promised.”
“Right,” Lacy said. Jason started to walk again, only with Riley beside them the air felt stilted and full of tension.
Jason deposited the two women in front of Lacy’s room, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “I’m just a bathroom away. Call if you need me. Night, Red,” he whispered.
“Night,” she said, staring at his retreating backside until he disappeared into his room. She frowned when she realized Riley was doing the same thing. She turned and led the way into her room. There was a glimmer of hope that if she gave Riley the necklace, she might leave right away. But when she fished the necklace out of her bag and dropped it into her sister’s hand, Riley sank onto the bed, crossing her legs as if settling in for a long chat.
“Is that a Stella McCartney you’re wearing?” Riley asked.
Lacy looked down at her designer dress. “Yes.”
Riley’s gaze fell on Lacy’s still-open closet as she began doing a mental calculation of how much the occupying clothes must cost, to say nothing of the shoes. Lacy closed the closet door, but it was too late.
“Did you rob a bank, Lacy? Last I heard, you weren’t employed.”
This was where things became awkward because Riley got her information from their mother, and Lacy hadn’t told her mother about her inheritance because there was no way to do that without revealing the fact that she had been adopted. And if Lacy told Riley, then Riley would immediately call their mother and blab, probably as soon as she stepped outside the door.
“Riley, it’s been a long day. I don’t really want to talk fashion.”
Hint, hint, get out of my room.
“So, Jason Cantor,” Riley said, and Lacy bit back a groan. If there was one thing she wanted to talk about less than her inheritance, it was Jason. “Did he give you that ring?” Her eyes fell to the ruby on Lacy’s right hand.
“How did you know?” Lacy asked.
“I saw him glance at it with one of those self-satisfied smiles men get when they feel they’ve accomplished something. Which means he’s the one pursuing you. I did not see that coming.”
“Neither did I,” Lacy said. She sank into a chair beside the dresser.
“So, what gives?”
In good conscience, Lacy could no longer give her standard “We’re friends” reply, especially not after this weekend. Something was shifting between them. But there was still Tosh, stuck at home with poor Mrs. Rae.
“I don’t know,” she replied at last. “Have you ever had amazing chemistry with someone, despite the fact that, on paper, you shouldn’t work at all?”
“No,” Riley said, surprising Lacy with her candor. “I don’t ever ignore what the paper says because eventually feelings fade and all that’s left is the list of why you should or shouldn’t work with someone. You’re not acting like you. It’s weird.”
“Thanks,” Lacy said.
“I didn’t say it was bad, just weird. It’s like this whole new Lacy, one who is kind of carefree. And since you’ve always been buttoned down and boring, it’s a lot to wrap my mind around. Kind of like the fact that Grandma has a serious boyfriend. Gag, what’s that about?”
“You’ll love him,” Lacy said. “You should come home and meet him.”
“It’s Mr. Middleton,” Riley said. “I’ve known him for years. No, thank you.”
“It’s not like that, Riley. He’s different.”
“He’s not Grandpa,” Riley said, echoing their mother’s sentiments. Frannie and Mr. Middleton had come to a tacit peace, but she was in no way a big fan of her biological father. Of course she didn’t know he was her biological father, and neither did Riley, so Lacy tried to keep that in mind and cut her some slack.
“I’m telling you, he’s great. I couldn’t love him more if he were our grandfather. And Grandma’s happy for the first time since Grandpa died. It’s cute to see them together, the way they dote on each other. I’m happy for them.”
Riley’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “If you say so, but, ew. Old people shouldn’t date. It’s weird.”
“It’s not like you suddenly stop feeling and needing things when you’re old,” Lacy said.
“Think about what you’re saying, Lacy. It’s those needs that are grossing me out. Do you think they…”
Lacy smacked her hands over her ears. “Riley, gross! This is Grandma we’re talking about. No, ew, she would never. Gag.”
“You’re the one who said old people have needs,” Riley pointed out.
“Not like that. Can we please change the subject?”
“Let’s talk about you and Jason some more,” Riley said.
Lacy stood. “I’m tired.”
“Fine, then let’s talk about Robert’s family.”
Lacy sat. “Oh, my word, it’s like they all got a weekend pass from the asylum and decided to meet here. Except Aunt Enid. She seems normal.”
“You realize you’re talking about a woman who lets her monkey share her bed.”
“No she doesn’t,” Lacy said.
Riley nodded. “Yeah, she does.”
“I just threw up in my mouth a little,”
“You want to know the best part? Since the monkey loves me so very much, Aunt Enid has already decided that he’s mine when she dies. And you know what else? Capuchin monkeys can live thirty to forty years. Her monkey is ten. That means I could still have a monkey when my children graduate high school. And Robert said it will have to sleep in our bed with us since it’s used to sleeping with Aunt Enid.”
Lacy laughed. “He was kidding, Riley.”
“How do you know?”
Because I know him,
Lacy wanted to say, but she refrained. “Because no reasonable prospective bridegroom is going to share his bed with a monkey.” She shook her head. “There are some phrases you think you’ll never say in your life; that was one.”
“Have you noticed that Mom and Dad have been fighting a lot lately?” Riley said.
“I knew there was something going on, but neither will talk about it with me.”
“Me, neither. I don’t want them to get divorced.”
“They won’t,” Lacy said, but the nervous butterflies in her stomach made her words less convincing. Her parents wouldn’t get divorced after thirty years of marriage. Would they?
“Relationships are hard,” Riley said. “Do you think it’s possible to stay together forever?”