Fangs And Fame (26 page)

“
Not this time.”

“
Every time,” I argued. “What part of Damir’s past makes you believe the future is going to be any different?” She just stared at me with those devastatingly beautiful green eyes. “He crashed Wes’s funeral,” I reminded her. “He’d do anything – say anything – to claim you like a prize.”

“
Let’s say you’re right,” she stated. “Let’s say that Damir is only helping because he still has a thing for me. Does it really matter why he’s helping as long as he’s helping?” she asked.

I wanted to scream,
‘Hell yes it matters!’ Instead, I clenched my jaw shut and made a show of staring at the floor. We sat in uneasy silence for a moment, and then I forced myself to look up at her again. “Please. I’m begging you,” I said softly. “Don’t do this.”

She reached out and touched my cheek, and I found myself leaning into her touch.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I have to.” The look on my face must have been enough to make her drop her hand from my face. I stood up and quickly grabbed a blood-laced wine cooler from the small fridge. “Trey, don’t-”

I heard her voice, but I couldn
’t be on that bus one moment longer. I made my way to the front, grabbing a hat and sunglasses, and left without another word.

“
Boss?” Tytus called out as I stalked across the parking lot.

“
Not now,” I told him. “Take the night off.”

I walked away from the venue without a destination in mind, disguised in my hat and dark glasses.

I just needed to get ... away.

I knew I probably could have handled the situation with Damir better, but he’d shown up out of the blue on my tour bus, no less. How was I supposed to feel about that? I couldn’t see how Aurora could ask me to be okay with it all.

More than anything I was just scared.

Scared that Aurora might be getting in over her head, and not just with Damir. If Stanislav was really going to be in New York tomorrow, I didn’t want her facing him alone. I’d gotten us in this mess to begin with. I should at least be there if he was finally going to explain what he wanted from us.

The blood in the wine-cooler wasn
’t nearly enough, but at least it was something. I was in the middle of an alley when I finished the bottle, and I smashed it on the ground in frustration. Tiny shards of glass scattered the ground at my feet, but if anything, I just felt worse. I’d been wandering for half an hour before my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket, realizing what time it was.

“
Where are you, man?” O’Shea asked when I answered.

“
Just getting some fresh air,” I managed. “Be there in ten.”

“
Is everything okay?” he asked.

“
Peachy.”

I
’m sure he wasn’t buying it, but he didn’t press the issue further. I hurried back, using my vamp speed whenever the way was clear. I couldn’t sense Aurora when I reached our bus again, but I climbed inside anyway. Her suitcase was gone, but a small paper was lying on my pillow. Three words were scrawled in charcoal pencil.

I love you.

I felt like my heart was breaking all over again as I scanned the words a second time. I tucked the note into my back pocket and headed inside the building, wondering how I was going to fake a smile for the fans on a night like this.

Trey

IT TOOK ME HALF
the set to realize how intensely the crowd was feeling the more melancholy songs. Most of the girls in the front row had fresh tears streaming down their faces, even if they smiled up at me when I passed in front of them. I had been carelessly letting my troubles seep into them, and it wasn’t okay.

Not even a little bit.

I made a point to try and forget about the fact that my wife was on a plane with Damir Vidic, and I did my best to have a good show. I threw myself into the happy and upbeat songs just as much as I had unintentionally been doing during the downbeat, somber ones. The poor fans in the crowd were really getting a bipolar performance from me, but I just hoped what I was doing was enough to make up for the first half of the set. There was really no way to be sure. Eventually the main set ended and the guys and I headed backstage to get our zombie makeup on. Not having Aurora in the dressing room waiting for us was just one more reminder that I’d let her leave on such bad terms. The two makeup artists we’d hired to do Aurora’s job for the next few days worked their magic, transforming us. I sat in the makeup chair for my turn, unable to shake the need to go over the argument again in my head. I hated how things had gone down with Aurora. I hated myself, because I was the one responsible for the hurt I saw behind her eyes as I walked away. The fact that she and Damir were trying to prove that a Synod Elder had been manipulating Aurora did nothing for my nerves. In fact, it only made things worse.

What would we do if it was all true? I didn
’t know how I was going to make that better, or if I even could. Finding out that this huge accomplishment that couldn’t be tied back to her relationship with me was all a lie would be devastating news. I couldn’t imagine how that would feel, and I couldn’t bear the idea of watching her heart break because of it. And that was just the beginning. What on earth could Stanislav Vidic possibly want from us that would cause him to go to these lengths just to call in a favor?

The makeup girl announced that I was finished, and I got out of the chair, double-checking my appearance in the full-length mirror and adjusting my skinny black tie. I shook my head, trying to clear it. Aurora and I had been faced with an impossible situation tonight. Neither one of us could give the other what they needed and still be true to ourselves. I just hoped she
’d forgive me somehow, and that we could get past this. I hadn’t felt this helpless since I’d sat by her bedside and watched her slowly dying. The memory made my shudder, and I was seriously regretting not calling the show off tonight and going with her, but it was a little late for heroics. Damir and Aurora would be touching down about now, and they’d certainly have concocted a plan to investigate without being found out. I checked the time on my phone, again, doing the math and configuring the time difference just to be sure. I was deciding for the second time that it was definitely too late to help when O’Shea gripped my shoulder from behind.

“
I know Aurora’s gone for work again, but even that doesn’t usually get to you like this,” he said, fishing for information.

“
It’s not just that,” I said. “We had an argument before she left. I just don’t like that things are unsettled and she’s halfway across the country.”

“
So you had a fight,” he said casually. “Isn’t that what couples do?”

“
Sure,” I said, forcing a response. He squeezed the back of my neck and turned to go have his turn in the makeup chair when I said, “Hey, how do you feel about making a change to the set list tonight?”

“
What kind of change?” he asked, and I saw Jonas and Chase’s heads turn in my direction at the question.

“
I want to end the show with ‘Defying Odds’ tonight,” I said. The song was an anthem from our first record. We hadn’t done it live on the last tour, so I knew the fans would love to hear it again. “We’ll do it after ‘You Only Live Twice.’ Are we good with that?”

“
Sure,” O’Shea said, studying me. “I don’t see why not.”

I nodded and quit messing with my tie. After the night I
’d had, and the fans had had through me, I wasn’t about to leave them on anything but a positive, happy note. I wasn’t sure how long the effects of my moon-given talent lasted once a show ended, but I wasn’t going to risk anyone being depressed because of me.

It seemed to work, as far as I could tell. The general vibe I got from the fans as we closed the show was one of satisfaction, and maybe a little longing because the night was over, but all-in-all I felt pretty good about saving the night. I
’d learned my lesson about carelessly wearing my heart on my sleeve, though. I was still trying to get the hang of my moon-given talent, but sometimes – like tonight – it was overwhelming. In that way, it could be a bit of a curse, like my heart was betraying me, bleeding a sad little song all over the fans. So not cool.

We were at a hotel that night, and I was mulling over everything I regretted about the way things had gone down before Aurora had left. I almost ignored the knock on the door when I heard it, but then O
’Shea voice called out, saying, “I know you’re in there, Decker. I’m not going away anytime soon.”

I trudged to the door and opened it, staring at him.

“That’s the way,” O’Shea said sarcastically. “Come on.” He stepped forward and thumped me lightly on the back. “I’m no shrink, but I can guarantee you that sitting around here and sulking about it won’t do any good.”

“
Where are we going?” I asked as he swung the door open wide and gestured for me to follow him into the hallway. I wasn’t sure whether I was annoyed, or grateful for the distraction.

“
There’s an indoor go-kart place a few blocks from here,” he said. “Neon got them to open it up after hours for us. It’ll be good. You know, male bonding and all.”

I didn
’t hate the idea. If I had to be away from Aurora, I could at least spend some time with the guys, who – let’s face it – I had been neglecting lately. “Talked me into it,” I said. I wasn’t sure how much fun I would be, but I could be miserable anywhere, so I followed O’Shea onto the street where Jonas and Chase were already waiting in a taxi.

The go-karts actually looked fun when we arrived, but even the idea of having a good time after fighting with Aurora added another layer of guilt to the ball that had lodged itself in my throat.

“You’d better get your game face on,” O’Shea stated encouraged as he put a helmet on. “Or I’m going to destroy you out there.”

“
Not the best motivational speech I’ve ever heard,” I said to him. “But I’ll take what I can get.”

“
Beggars can’t be choosers,” he called out, climbing into his cart.

If nothing else, I was going to blow off steam. Being strapped into a go-cart leveled the playing field a bit, and I raced around the track with my brothers for a few hours, but my heart was in New York.

Aurora

I STARED OUT THE window of the plane, wondering how everything had gone from being perfect to disastrous in just the span of a few hours. The answer was simple and complicated all at once, and could only partially be blamed on the head of the Emissary sitting next to me. I couldn’t decide what bothered me more, that Trey didn’t trust me to come to New York with Damir, or that he wasn’t here himself. I just hoped eventually he’d realize why I had to do it anyway, despite all the reasons I shouldn’t. We already suspected that Stanislav Vidic was responsible for the vampires who had been stalking us on and off during the tour. If he was really behind some plot to take advantage of my art and manipulate me, I wasn’t going to sit back and wait for him to come clean about it. I had to find out the truth. And I had to do it now.

Damir and I had been sitting in awkward silence ever since boarding our plane. I didn
’t trust him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t right about Stanislav using me.

“
I’m not the monster you believe me to me,” Damir said out of the blue, and I was surprised to hear an undertone of sincerity as he spoke. “I know what it is to love, to lose.”

“
I have a hard time imagining you in love,” I said.

“
It was the losing that hardened me,” he said. “But I had a family once, before you knew me.” I tried to imagine Damir as a family man, but even my imagination didn’t quite know where to take that. He rolled the magazine he’d been skimming and slid it in and out of the fingers on one hand, looking directly past me and out the window of the plane. “My wife’s name was Rachel,” he said. “I loved her from the moment I met her.” He glanced at me then, probably to see if I believed him. “She was the very opposite of me in most ways,” he continued when I didn’t interrupt him. “Her hair was blonde, her eyes were a light bluish-grey color, and a world-class symphony would pale in comparison to the sound of her laugh.”

I was intrigued as Damir talked about this woman he had obviously loved in ways I would have never believed him capable. I didn
’t know Damir – not really – but I’d never had a desire to. I’d never bothered to look past the arrogant, power-hungry juvenile act he put on. He paused for a second to collect his thoughts and then said, “We’d been married for just over a year when Spencer was born.”

“
You have a son?” I asked.

He nodded slowly and clarified,
“
Had
a son.”

“
What happened?” I asked, sensing that he wanted to tell me.

“
He was three-years-old when Stanislav sent for me, under the guise of a business arrangement. I went alone and visited Vidic Vineyards for the first time, learning that I had family I had never met. I walked through the doors of grandfather’s estate a human, and walked out of them a vampire.”

“
That’s when he turned you.” It was more of a statement than a question, but Damir nodded, politely refusing when the flight attendant offered him something from the drink cart. I shook my head as well, sending her on to the next row, and then asked, “Did you want this? This life, I mean?”

“
I was young,” he said, as if he was trying to defend his decision. “My parents had died when I was a teenager, and I had buried my only brother two months prior after he collapsed in the middle of a college basketball game – something about an undiagnosed heart condition.” Damir’s eyes were on the seat in front of him now, but his mind was far away as he recounted the tale. “He was my best friend, and I watched him die before his twenty-third birthday. When I met Stanislav, saw everything he had to offer me, including the promise of immortality ... I didn’t have the strength to refuse him.”

“
And your family?” I asked.

“
I didn’t tell Rachel,” he explained. “I meant to tell her eventually, but I wasn’t sure she’d understand, and it never seemed like the right time.”

“
You were able to hide it from her?” I asked, not sure whether to be more surprised at that decision, or impressed that he’d pulled it off.

“
Yes, but I didn’t always do a good job of it.”

“
I know a little something about hiding that secret myself,” I mused.

Damir looked right at me then, and it was like he was seeing me for the first time.
“Yes. I guess you would.” He studied me for a second and then forced himself to look away. “She knew something was different about me after the trip to the vineyard, but she never would have imagined the truth. My temper flared when I went too long without feeding, and that threatened to drive a wedge between us. For the most part, though, things were working out. I believed I could make it work somehow.” Damir furrowed his brow and unrolled the magazine in his hands, bending it backward to straighten it out. “She and our son were killed six months later. It was a speeding car that careened off the road and wound up on the sidewalk where Rachel was walking with Spencer to the park down the street from our home.”

“
I’m really sorry,” I said, feeling the pang of loss that came whenever I thought about my parents and Aden.

“
Thank you,” Damir said. “It’s only been ten years, but it feels like ages have gone by since I lost them.” Then he smiled and said, “Spencer would be thirteen. He’d probably be begging for tickets to a Catalyst show if he were still here.” I grinned at the thought, but Damir’s expression had already grown somber. “Stanislav is severely disappointed in me because I could not provide an heir to his legacy like he was planning when he changed me. After Spencer was gone, I was a dead end. He’s never gotten over that, and I pay for it every night that I walk this earth. That’s the cruel irony of it all, I guess. We’re not meant to live forever. Breaking that rule has consequences.”

Was he jealous? Stanislav had suddenly taken this great interest in Trey and I, or so it seemed. Was Damir afraid that he was being replaced? Trey and I certainly didn
’t want the job. “Why are you really helping me?” I asked. “I’m not even nice to you.”

Damir smiled and said,
“I don’t need people to be nice to me.”

“
Why?” I asked again.

“
I’m just a pawn in Stanislav Vidic’s game,” he admitted. “It’s true that I might have played a more important role if I hadn’t lost my family, lived a more fulfilling life in many ways, but I’ve only recently come to realize just how much of my life is being laid out for me and controlled by my grandfather. None of my accomplishments are my own,” he stated. “I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, certainly not on you.”