Read Fashionably Dead Online

Authors: Robyn Peterman

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor, #Demons & Devils, #Vampires, #Romantic Comedy, #paranormal romance, #Humor

Fashionably Dead (30 page)

“Um . . . Angel, I can hear you,” he laughed.

“You have got to get out of my head,” I snapped.

“That’s very difficult now that we’re mated. We’re more connected than any two people could be. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

He leaned in and nipped at my neck sending little electric shocks through my body.

“Stop,” I giggled, “I want to hear more of the story.”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes and continued. “He changed all of his children, but none of his wives. None of the wives challenged his decision except one. She was furious. She begged and pleaded, but he stood firm. At the time I felt bad for her. I, too didn’t understand why he wouldn’t change her.” He twirled my hair between his fingers. He had no idea how many points he was earning. I loved having my hair played with. That was definitely worth a blow job.

“Angel,” Ethan moaned, “your train of thought is going to make me strip you naked and have my way with you again.”

“Whoops,” I laughed. “Will this sexual thing ever fade?” I asked, not knowing if I wanted him to say yes or no.

“Nope, from what I’ve been told it gets more intense with time and familiarity.”

“Oh my God,” I gasped, “we’ll end up killing each other.”

“I could think of worse ways to go,” he smiled, running his tongue along my shoulder. I shuddered.

“Wait,” I said, pulling out of his embrace. “So is that the wife that got banished?”

Ethan sighed and realized he was not going to get into my pants until my curiosity was satisfied. “Yes, I no longer felt sorry for her after she tried to kill my father. Apparently, Abaddon had regaled my father’s wives with a tale of how to attain immortality without becoming a Vampyre, but only one took the bait. If they sacrificed the King, drank his blood, and ate his flesh, they would live forever.”

“Oookay,” I gagged, “that’s disgusting.”

“Oh, but that’s not all,” Ethan continued, “the murderer must rip out the heart of the Vampyre King, and present it to the Demon King. This action ensures that King Abaddon will rule both the Upper and Underworlds. Abaddon is the most viciously evil of all the Demons, although all Demons live in Hell for their own wicked reasons.”

“Is any of that true?” I was shocked. Vampyres and Demons were sickos. Wait. I belonged in both of those categories. What in the hell did that make me?

“I have no idea,” Ethan said. “It’s never been accomplished . . . not that it hasn’t been tried. So my father banished his wife, the mother of my sister, Princess Juliet. Juliet disappeared about twenty-five years after her mother was banished. We’ve never been able to find her.”

“Was Juliet angry with the King?” This was fascinating.

“No, we never thought so. She seemed lost after her mother was banished, but she was well loved by the other wives and all of her siblings.”

“So how does The Kev figure into your life?” I asked as I straddled him, making it difficult for him to think.

“You’re so asking for trouble.” Ethan grabbed my hips and pulled me closer.

“I so know that,” I grinned, winding my fingers into his hair and putting my lips to his ear. “How did you meet The Kev?” I ran my tongue along the edge of his ear and sank a fang into the lobe. God, his blood was delicious.

Ethan moaned. “He was sent by an Angel in the Heavens to train me to protect my father.” He was losing control quickly. “I was so surprised to see the form he took this time.” He cupped my bottom with one hand and started to unzip my dress with the other.

“What do you mean, form?” I demanded and he stilled. “What are you talking about? What form?”

“What?” He was confused. “What do you mean, what form?”

“You said it,” I told him trying unsuccessfully to crawl off of his lap. I knew this was important. “What do you mean about The Kev’s form?”

“Oh,” Ethan laughed, “you lost me there for a moment.” Clearly all the blood had left his brain and traveled south. “The Kevin doesn’t really look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.” He tried to kiss me, but I was having none of it.

“What do you mean?” I snapped. “Of course he looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger.” That stopped him.

“Oh baby,” he said, “Angels and Fairies rarely show their true form. They are so beautiful it is impossible to look at them. They can choose any form they like.”

“You are kidding me.” I was astounded.

“Nope,” he smiled at my shock.

“You’re telling me that The Kev doesn’t look like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Pam doesn’t look like Oprah Winfrey?”

Ethan started laughing. Hard. “Your Angel took on the visage of Oprah Winfrey?”

“Yes, she did,” I said, getting pissed at him. “Why in the hell is that so funny?”

He couldn’t stop laughing. He was starting to make me laugh. “I don’t know why I find that so amusing, I just do. She must have a hell of a sense of humor.”

“She does,” I said with loving pride. “She also has a mouth like a sailor.”

“Oh my God.” He was still laughing, “I want to meet her.”

“I’m not sure she’ll let you see her. She seems to have an aversion to Vampyres.”

“Most Angels do,” he said, calming down. “She doesn’t have an aversion to you.”

“No, she loves me,” I told him.

“I do too.” His eyes turned green and his fangs descended.

“Oh no, no, no,” I said, trying to squirm away even though I could feel my own eyes turning green and my fangs descending.

“Oh yes, yes, yes,” he insisted, tearing open the front of my dress. “God, I love that you don’t wear a bra.” His mouth quickly closed over my very erect nipple.

I squealed with delight, threw my head back and gave in to the sensations. Oh hell, what’s another hour or two going to hurt?

Chapter 28

 

I was so nervous to sit down with the King I thought I was going to pass out. Ethan had more clothes sent up for me, due to the simple fact that all my clothing had yet again been shredded in a sexual frenzy. Of course the new stuff was all Prada. This time it was a body-hugging, midnight blue strapless dress and a kick ass pair of black stilettos. The fabric felt slippery and sexy on my skin. Mortals were really missing out on the Vampyre sensory overload thing. At least I knew I looked good on the outside, even though my insides were churning. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Who knew I was going to fall in love with the King within the first two minutes of being near him? I was jealous of Ethan and his siblings. I had always imagined a father just like the King.

“You are absolutely lovely,” the King laughed happily and enveloped me in a bear hug. He smelled wonderful. He held me out at arm’s length and studied my face. “May I?” he asked, indicating he’d like to sample my blood.

From anyone else that request would seem either sexual or repulsive, but from the King it was completely inoffensive, almost sweet. I nodded. He produced a beautiful but wicked-looking dagger from his belt and gently sliced my palm. He brought it to his mouth and licked. He considered for a moment, rolling my blood around on his tongue . . .

“You are strong yet compassionate. You are very capable of killing, but it is not your first choice. Your strength and skill with Magic will be unparalleled.” His golden eyes sparkled like jewels. “You are gifted beyond reason, and I would hazard a guess that you have only scratched the surface of your abilities. You are much more than just a Vampyre, my little one.”

Oh my God, he knew I was half Demon. Damn, I’d forgotten he could identify species by blood. He paused and I could swear he looked right into my soul. “You are the One,” he whispered. “You are the Chosen One. We have waited so long for you, my beautiful child.”

He squeezed my hand and looked down at the ring on my finger. God, he really did look like the beefy security guy on Jerry Springer that Pam liked so much, only way better. He was bald and muscular. He had incredible cheekbones and his golden eyes were magnetic. His lips were full like Ethan’s and his lashes were impossibly long. It was a little strange that he didn’t look much older than Ethan, but that’s just the way it was with Vamps. Forever young. Pam would fall over dead for this guy. I’d bet money that she would give up her aversion to Vampyres for him.

“Ah, Ethan . . . ” The King had tears in his eyes. “You’ve given Astrid Queen Paloma’s ring.”

“Yes, Father, she is my mate.”

“Do you love her?” he asked his son.

“Completely,” Ethan told his father while staring directly at me. My knees went weak.

The King gently took my face in his hands. “Do you love my son?”

“I do.”

The King leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Then it is right that you wear the ring,” he smiled and released me. “You two have my blessing.”

“Thank you, Father.” Ethan looked at me with pride and love. I could not remember when I had been this happy.

“Your Majesty,” I said.

“Father,” the King corrected me, “please call me Father.” I couldn’t hide my delight at the honor of his request. It made Ethan and the King laugh. Great, now I was embarrassed. “What is it, my daughter, my Chosen One?”

“About that Chosen One stuff . . . do you have any idea how I am to serve you?”

“No,” he sighed, “I don’t, but I can feel that the time draws near. There is more Rogue activity in this particular part of the world than ever before. This does not bode well for the mortals or for us. Our anonymity is why we can exist. Without it we will be destroyed.”

“Why this part of the world?” I asked. “Why Kentucky?” It didn’t make sense to me why beautiful, glamorous Vampyres would be drawn to Kentucky. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Kentucky. To me it was paradise, but it wasn’t exactly the mecca of sophistication.

“Don’t you know?” Ethan seemed surprised by my question.

“Clearly I don’t, Mr. Smarty Pants, or I wouldn’t be asking. Let’s see, I’ve been a Vampyre for what? A month?”

Oh my God
. . . I slapped my hand over my mouth. I was mortified. I didn’t really want the King to know how rude I could be right off the bat.

“She has no respect for me,” Ethan sighed with amusement in his voice and lust in his eyes.

The King chuckled. “Ahhh, she reminds me of my Paloma. Astrid, to answer your question, it’s the caves.”

“The caves? Mammoth Caves?” I was confused.

“Yes, Mammoth Caves and the Diamond Caverns are an epicenter of paranormal strength. An apex, if you will, of natural immortal power.”

“I love the caves,” I said.

“Of course you do, that does not surprise me.” He smiled and touched my cheek. I leaned into his hand. Who knew I was so starved for parental affection? I pulled back in embarrassment as he continued. “The caves began forming about ten million years ago during a time of great paranormal activity. The limestone deposits in the caves trapped the earth’s natural Magic and fed it. That enabled the power to grow and strengthen for eternity.”

“Normal people go there every day.” I was shocked to learn all of this.

“Yes, they do,” the King sighed. “The caves opened to the public in 1816. It’s made it more difficult for us, but not impossible. The strongest areas are those that the mortals have not discovered or mapped. There are hundreds of miles of cave that the mortals know of, but hundreds more that they will never find. There are portals to Heaven and Hell in the Diamond Caverns. Many immortals of different species are attracted to this area.”

“Is that why I see Demons everywhere?” It flew out of my mouth before I knew it was coming.

“You see Demons?” Ethan was surprised.

Uh oh . . . the jig was up.
“I do,” I said slowly, “but they’re not all evil.”

Ethan snorted. “All Demons are evil—period.”

“Well, she’s definitely the Chosen One!” The King clapped his hands like a child. “Can you speak to them?” he asked. Ethan looked at his father as if he were crazy.

“Yes, I have four of my own,” I told the King. Ethan watched me with an unfamiliar look in his eyes. “Mine are my babies. They wouldn’t hurt anyone. I love them and they love me.” I knew I was getting defensive.

“Not all Demons are from Hell.” The King assured me while clearly making a point to Ethan. “Some are fallen Angels looking for good deeds so they may return to Heaven. Some are tortured souls who committed suicide and must do earthly penance to redeem themselves in the eyes of God.”

“Do we believe in God?” I whispered, hopeful and scared at the same time.

“I don’t know if you do, but I certainly do.” The King smiled at me. “How can you look around this beautiful world and not believe in God?”

“Do we have souls?” I sounded like a child to my own ears, but these were questions I had been too intimidated to ask until now. If I was very possibly going to die for these Vampyres, I wanted to know exactly where I stood and what I was.

“We do have souls, child,” he reassured me, “and we will answer to God on Judgment Day, same as anyone else. We just have a much longer time to rack up sins than your average mortal.”

“I have to tell you something.” I hesitated and realized I should have told Ethan all of this before I mated with him. Oh my God, he hates Demons. Will he hate me? But I’m not a Demon. Okay I’m half, but Pam said I wasn’t a Demon. Does that count? He had a right to know what I was before he was stuck with me for eternity. How in the hell was I supposed to know he was prejudiced against Demons?

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