Authors: DEBBY CONRAD
CHAPTER EIGHT
H
olly pulled the
covers tightly around Jordan and kissed his forehead. He smelled of little boy and sunshine. A smell she would always savor. She tip-toed out of his room and crept back to the kitchen.
“He’s exhausted,” she told Greg, who was perched on one of the stools with his back to the counter. “He closed his eyes as soon as his head hit the pillow.”
“Yeah, I kept him pretty busy. He helped me rake leaves and clean out the garage on Saturday. And today we played a little soccer.” He ran a hand through his sandy colored hair. “It was a nice father-son weekend.”
“Where was Chloe?” Not that she cared, but Jordan had said his father’s girlfriend was always around on weekends.
He sighed and rubbed at his unshaven cheek. “Chloe and I split up a week ago.”
Holly blinked with surprise. “What about the baby?”
Staring at the floor, he said, “She lost the baby.”
“I’m sorry, Greg.” An odd feeling of disappointment filled her heart. She remembered how happy he’d been when he’d told her he was going to be a father again.
He looked up at her with pain-flickered eyes and, without thinking, she went to him. He reached for her as she stepped between his legs and they hugged.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She’d only meant the hug as a means of comfort. But then his lips found and met hers.
It all happened so fast. His greedy hands roamed her body and he forced his tongue in her mouth. She kissed him back for a few brief seconds, and then coming to her senses, she pushed him away.
She stepped back and stared up at him. She was surprised that she no longer felt anything for Greg, except for repulsion.
“Holly, let’s go in your bedroom and make love.”
“No,” she said firmly, crossing her arms around her middle. “I think you should go.”
“But--”
“Greg, I don’t love you anymore. I’m in love with someone else.” Until she’d said the words aloud, she hadn’t even realized she’d fallen in love with Kenny. And she had no idea what she was going to do about it.
Greg got to his feet and walked toward her. “Holly, I’m sorry. For everything. I screwed up our marriage, and probably any chance I might have had for getting you back.”
Holly didn’t answer. There was no point.
He reached out to touch her face, but she turned her head.
He sighed loudly. “I hope, whoever this guys is, that he’s worthy of your love.”
“He is,” she said. She listened to his footsteps as he made his way to the front door and walked out into the night. She was proud of herself for not giving in to him.
Now, she needed to figure out a way to tell Kenny how she felt, without scaring him off.
Laughing, she turned off all the lights and made her way down the hall to her bedroom. She was in love with Kenny, something she hadn’t expected to happen.
She felt giddy. But how would he react to her news? Would he throw her love back in her face? Or would he welcome it?
And why did life have to be so darn difficult?
* * *
Kenny turned away from the window as soon as he saw Holly kissing her ex. The guy’s hands were groping her ass and her breasts, and she’d let him.
The whole scene sickened his insides. And he couldn’t even begin to imagine what else the guy would be doing to her tonight.
He’d thought she was special. He’d thought that maybe she loved him, just a little. That maybe he and Holly and Jordan could be a family someday. But apparently, he’d been wrong.
Flicking off the lights, he made his way out of the kitchen and down the hall to his room.
Feeling like a wounded animal, he struggled into bed. Even though he knew sleep would not be coming his way tonight.
* * *
Holly felt certain Kenny was avoiding her. This was the third day in a row he’d said he was too busy to see her. That he needed to work on his strip.
She’d been taking up a lot of his time, so maybe he had fallen behind with his deadlines. But she was certain it was something more than that.
When he’d left her cottage Sunday evening, before Greg had brought Jordan home, they’d made plans for Monday. If he was behind with his work, wouldn’t he have said something then?
So, what possibly could have happened between Sunday night and Monday morning when he’d called and asked her not to come over?
There was only one way to find out.
She slipped on a pair of old shoes and grabbed a sweater from the hall closet, then trekked across the yard.
The wind bit into her skin. The weatherman said to expect snow flurries later that day. October was much too soon for snow as far as she was concerned. She loved fall, all the rich colors of the trees’ turning leaves, and she wanted it to last a bit longer.
Expecting to find Kenny in his study, she was surprised to see him sitting in the living room in front of the TV. She slid the door open and cleared her throat.
Kenny didn’t bother turning around. “Don’t you ever bother to knock?”
So they were back to that. She shut the door and went to stand in front of him. “Kenny, what’s wrong?”
He looked up at her. “What’s wrong? I can’t see the television screen, for one thing.”
She stepped to the side and sat in a leather recliner. “Kenny, please talk to me.”
Sighing, he flicked off the remote and set it on the end table beside him. He gave her an impatient look. “What is it you want? And if it’s sex, forget it. I’m not in the mood.”
She swallowed hard, trying not to reveal her anger. “I don’t understand.” She searched his face for a sign that he cared about her. Any sign. There was none.
“What’s to understand? It’s over.”
Pain stabbed at her heart. “Over?”
“You and me. The affair, or whatever it is you want to call it.”
Kenny didn’t want her any longer, but she couldn’t let go this easily. “But why?”
“Holly, don’t make it any more difficult than it is. You were a . . . nice temporary distraction. Nothing more. And now it’s time to end it.”
“A temporary distraction?” she managed to choke out.
“Look,” he said, “I’ve decided to have some surgery, something I’ve been putting off for a while. I’m going to be operated on the day after tomorrow. Once I’ve recovered, I plan to move away from Falcon Ridge.”
She let his words sink in. “Surgery? But I overheard you tell Lars there was only a sixty percent chance you would walk again.”
“Yeah, so? I’ve decided to take the risk. My doctors feel it’ll be successful. I’m in good health, strong, and I have a great attitude, mentally. That’s sometimes half the battle.”
What could she say? It was his decision. Although she was going to be sick with worry until it was over. “Where will you go, once you’ve recovered?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Seattle, maybe somewhere warmer.”
“Seattle is so far away.” She fought back the tears blinding her eyes. “What about me? And Jordan?” In spite of his cruel words, that she was only a temporary distraction, she had to ask.
“You’ll both be fine. You have Greg.”
Greg? What was he saying? She and Greg were divorced. It was over between them. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“Look, Holly, I really would like to be alone, if you don’t mind.” Without looking at her, he picked up the remote and hit the power button.
The sound of police car sirens immediately flooded the room. Holly stood on shaky legs and started toward the patio door. She stopped, noticing the coffee mug on the kitchen table where Kenny usually sat for his meals. Right next to the kitchen window.
There was something else she noticed. Instead of the curtain being open, the way it usually was, it was pulled shut, the blinds behind the curtain drawn tight.
On impulse, she went to the window, opened the curtains and blinds and stared out. She could see her flower beds that still needed cleaned out before winter set in, and she could see the breakfast bar and the two counter stools in her kitchen.
And then it hit her. Kenny must have seen her and Greg Sunday night.
Temper flaring, she stomped across the room and yanked the remote from his hand. She punched the power button, and then dropped the piece of black plastic on the sofa.
“What the hell--”
“How dare you!” she shouted. “Why can’t you be man enough to tell me what’s really bothering you?”
“Well, since you seem to know me so well, why don’t
you
tell
me
?”
“You were watching Greg and me from that window,” she accused, pointing in the opposite direction from where he was facing. “Spying on me.”
“It didn’t look to me like you cared who saw you the way you rushed into his arms. The way he was touching you.”
“You bastard!” The tears spilled over her cheeks. “I came over here to tell you I was in love with you.”
“Love? Honey, you don’t know the meaning of the word.” He glared at her. “What happened? Didn’t Greg get you off the way I can? If he needs some pointers, tell him to call me.”
Her hand came in contact with his face, making a loud cracking sound. It had to have hurt, because her palm stung so badly she almost cried out.
But Kenny didn’t do anything more than stare up at her with a wounded expression.
Her tears flowed freely now, and she did nothing to try to stop them. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she said, “Why don’t you ask me if I slept with Greg that night. Go ahead, ask me.”
“I really don’t care. It’s over, Holly. I’d like for you to leave.”
“You’re a coward, Kenny. The biggest coward I’ve ever met. You’re throwing away what might be the best thing that ever happened to you. And you’re too dumb to notice.”
With that, she wrapped her sweater tightly around her and ran. Ran out into the cold air and cried her heart out.
* * *
Holly was right, Kenny thought with sinking despair. He was a bastard, and a coward. And the reason he hadn’t asked her if she’d slept with Greg was because he’d been afraid that she might have said “yes”.
But what if she’d said “no”? Would he have believed her? Damn, he should have trusted her. He should have known her well enough to realize that she wouldn’t have betrayed him in that way.
It didn’t matter anymore. Holly hated him, and she had every right to. He’d said some pretty crude things to her. And he’d made her cry.
He shuddered inwardly at the memory. If he could take back everything he’d said to her, would he? Or was this his way of ending it before she could end it with him?
He closed his eyes and fought off the nausea gripping at his insides. She’d said she’d come over to tell him she was in love with him, and he’d thrown that confession back in her face. His throat ached with defeat.
He loved her, more than he thought it was possible to love anyone. She understood him. His fears. His anguish. And yet she’d fallen in love with him in spite of those things.
He didn’t deserve her and yet he wanted her more desperately now than ever before.
“They’re ready for you,” a nurse with gray hair said as she entered his hospital room.
Libby squeezed his hand. “Kenny.”
“I’ll be fine.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. “I know you will. You’re the bravest man I know.”
Kenny almost laughed. What a hoot! He’d never been more terrified in his life. And it wasn’t just the surgery scaring him at the moment. It was wondering if he could ever earn Holly’s forgiveness. Wondering if he could ever make her love him again.
CHAPTER NINE
K
enny scanned the
diagram of computer components in Jordan’s school book. “This is some heavy stuff for an eight-year-old. Megabytes. Hard drive. Keyboard.”
“Yeah, and I gotta know it all for the test tomorrow.”
Kenny patted the sofa cushion next to him. “Well, why don’t you sit here, and I’ll help you study.”
“Cool.” Jordan bounced down hard on the sofa. “Sorry. Mom said if I came over I had to be real careful around you ‘cause you’re still recu--” He frowned.
“Recuperating,” Kenny said.
“Yeah, that’s it.”
Kenny hadn’t talked to Holly since the day she’d accused him of being a coward and run out of the house. That was nearly four months ago. He’d only been home a few days after leaving the rehab center.
He knew she’d visited him in the hospital. He’d been pretty out of it the day of his surgery, but he remembered thinking he could smell her presence.
And then he’d looked up and seen her peering down at him, her big, brown eyes filled with tears. She’d touched his hand, leaving his flesh warm from the contact.
When he’d come to later on that day, she was gone. And he hadn’t bothered asking Libby if it had all been a dream
“How is your mom?”
Jordan shrugged. “Okay. But she cries a lot sometimes.”
Heaviness settled in his chest. “Has she told you why she’s been crying?”
“She said it’s not my fault. She’s not mad at me. She can’t help it ‘cause her heart got broken.”
A flash of wild grief ripped at his own heart. “Did she happen to mention who broke it?”
The boy took his time answering. “Nope.”
Kenny focused on the diagram once more when Jordan said, “My dad has a new girlfriend. Her name is Kitty. My mom said she was happy for him ‘cause he’s been lonely ever since him and Chloe broke up.”
Holly was happy that her ex had a girlfriend? That didn’t make any sense.
Kenny was getting stronger each day, and maybe it was time he ventured next door to see for himself if he was the one who’d broken her heart.
* * *
It was a blustery February day. Falcon Ridge and most of northwest Pennsylvania had gotten over six inches of snow overnight. There was no way Kenny would make it through those heavy mounds to Holly’s house. Even with his walker for support.
So instead he decided to call her. He picked up the phone, punched in her number and waited. After three rings, the answering machine clicked on and he heard her soft voice echo through the receiver.
He was about to leave a message when he heard someone knocking at the front door. Quickly, he replaced the receiver and made his way to the living room.
Whoever was outside was impatient because they were now ringing the bell.
“Hold on,” he called out, balancing his weight against the walker and trying to take slightly larger steps. By the time he got to the door, he was out of breath.
He yanked it open and just about fell over when he saw Holly standing there. Her parka and boots were covered with snow.
She looked up at him and smiled. “You’re taller than I expected.”
“And you’re shorter than I remember.”
She laughed. Her breath made a cloud of smoke against the frigid air. There was something different about her but he couldn’t decide what it was.
He saw her shiver. “Do you want to come in out of the cold?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” She ducked under his arm and went around him as he shut the door. Brushing the snow from her coat, she kicked off her boots and set them on the rug. “How are you doing?”
“Better with each day.”
“That’s good.” She held out a white envelope and he took it from her hand without looking at it. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. “It was in my mailbox, but it’s addressed to you. Since it’s from the IRS I thought maybe it might be important.”
“Thanks.”
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
“I’ll open it later,” he said, setting it on the hall table. His hand moved of its own volition to brush a snowflake from her hair. “Can you stay for a few minutes?”
“Sure. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.” She shrugged out of her coat, and draped it over the rack in the foyer.
She was dressed in jeans and a gray, wool sweater with suede patches on the elbows. Her breasts and hips seemed larger than he remembered. Could it be they looked different from this angle? No. He knew everything there was to know about her body and both were definitely larger.
“I wanted to thank you for helping Jordan study for his computer test. His teacher just called. Jordan got an A.”
“That’s great.”
He continued to stare at her, to check out her curves when he thought she wasn’t looking. “Do you want to sit down? I can’t stand for long periods of time yet.”
“Oh, sure.” He let her lead the way to the living area. She flopped down on the plaid sofa and rubbed her hands together.
“Are you still cold? I can make you some coffee, or hot chocolate.”
“No, thanks. I’ll be fine in a minute.”
Kenny nodded, making his way to the recliner.
“Holly--”
“Kenny--”
They laughed. “You first,” she said.
“Okay. I want to apologize for all the things I said the last time I saw you.” He searched her face, looking for a sign that she’d forgiven him. “You were right. I was a bastard and a coward.”
“I won’t argue with you.”
Kenny shook his head. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “I love you, Holly. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. And I hope that someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Her eyes welled up with tears. “You broke my heart, Kenny.”
“I know, baby, and I’m truly sorry. I’d do anything to make it up to you.”
“Would you promise not to move to Seattle?”
“Seattle? Why would I want to move there? I’ve never even been to Seattle.”
She blinked several times. “But you said--”
“I know what I said. I was only trying to piss you off.”
She sniffed and brushed away her tears. “Remember when I called you a coward?”
How could he forget?
“Well, I’m a coward too. There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, and I finally got up the nerve to do it today.”
“Go ahead. You don’t have to be afraid. You can tell me anything.”
She licked her top lip. “I’m pregnant.”
At first he didn’t think he’d heard her correctly. “You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant,” she said with a determined look in her eyes.
Kenny ran his gaze over her breasts, her belly and back to her face. Slowly, he got to his feet and walked the few steps to reach her, his mind a crazy mixture of hope and fear. “Is it mine?”
She swallowed, placing a hand over her belly. “Yes. I know you think I slept with Greg that night--”
“I know you didn’t sleep with him, Holly. I know you better than that.” He sat down next to her, close enough so their legs and shoulders touched. “Look at me.”
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening with fresh tears. “The last time we were together, one of the condoms broke. I should have told you. But I was afraid you’d be mad.” Her bottom lip trembled.
“How could I be mad when you’ve just made me the happiest man alive?”
Sobbing, she placed her arms around his neck and he pulled her close. Holding her, breathing in her scent.
“Holly, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she purred against his throat, placing tiny kisses along his jaw line. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He kissed her slowly and thoroughly, his hands seeking out her swollen breasts. “Are they tender?” he asked.
“Yes, but I still want you to touch them.”
“Will you let me make love to you?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” She pushed off the sofa and smiled. She lifted the gray sweater over her head.
Kenny stared in fascination at the swells above her bra. Then his gaze traveled downward to her slightly inflated stomach. She was still tiny, and he couldn’t wait to see the changes her body would soon undergo. To see her belly ripe with his baby.
“You’re beautiful. I want to taste you, everywhere. To lie atop you while I’m buried deep inside you and you’re coming beneath me, calling my name.” Already he was hard with anticipation.
Her face and neck flushed with color. “I have a few things I plan to do to you too.”
“Well, don’t keep me guessing. Tell me.”
“Not until we’re in the bedroom. In your bed. We’ve never done it in a bed before,” she said, grinning mischievously.
She took a step back and waited for him to get to his feet. “I’ll race you.”
“Very funny.”
“The winner gets to strip naked first.”
“I knew there was something I liked about you.”
“And here I thought you only liked me because I have a nice ass.”
“There’s that too.”
Kenny followed her out of the living room and down the hall to his bedroom, enjoying her curves and that shapely ass. By the time he got there, she was lying in his bed, gloriously naked.
“Hurry. I’m cold.”
“Honey, that’s about to change. And I guarantee you’ll never be cold again in your life.”
“Why is that?” she asked, her mouth creasing into a smile.
“Because I plan to be inside you every chance I get.”
“It sounds like we’re going to have an interesting life together.”
He chuckled. “You know we are.”
“Kenny, I love you.”
“Well, if you love me, then help me get these damn clothes off.”
Holly scrambled off the bed and came to his side. She looked up at him with adoration in her eyes. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything,” he said.
“Will you talk dirty to me?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Honey, I’m never going to stop talking dirty to you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”