“Maybe, but I’m fine with St. John’s. Episcopal is close enough.”
“I’m worried about a media circus.”
“We can handle that. I’m sure Shelby is an expert at such things.”
“I liked what she said about the church and hotel being handicapped accessible. Shows she did her homework.”
“I thought the same thing, but we don’t have to decide anything right away. We can meet with a couple of other wedding planners before we pick one.”
“We have
six weeks
, Nick. How much of that time do you suggest we spend interviewing wedding planners?”
“So we should just go with her?”
“I want to see the estimate first.”
“I don’t care about what it costs. I don’t want you to worry about that.”
“You’re not paying for this whole thing. We’re splitting it.”
“I
am
paying for it, and we’re not splitting anything.”
“Whoa, Caveman Joe! Hold on just a minute!”
“John left me all that money,” he said, referring to the two-million-dollar life insurance policy he’d been shocked to learn John had directed his way. “I can’t imagine any better use for some of it than buying my best girl a bang-up wedding that’ll make her forget she was ever married before.”
All the wind puffed out of Sam’s sails. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m spoiling for a fight and then you go and say something like that and all I want to do is kiss you.”
His smug grin should’ve made her mad, but she just loved him so damned much. “Don’t let me stop you.”
She leaned in and set out to blow his mind with a kiss he’d never forget.
His heart pounding and his lungs burning from exertion, Freddie flopped onto his back and reached for Elin to bring her with him. He wiped a bead of sweat from his brow.
“It’s official,” he said when he could speak again.
She nudged his nipple with the tip of her finger. “What is?”
“I’m officially addicted to you.” He rolled on his side and cupped her breast, watching in fascination as her pierced nipple hardened. “Can’t get enough.” In truth, having sex with her was becoming a borderline obsession that had him worried—thanks to his mother and Sam who had planted all kinds of doubts in his head. Maybe they were right. When he tried to remember how he used to pass his time before he started spending every night burning up the sheets with Elin he came up totally empty.
“I must be addicted to you too, because I can’t get enough either,” she said, kissing her way from his chest to his belly.
Freddie sucked in a sharp deep breath when he realized her intent. A minute ago he would’ve guessed they were done for the night, but his recently satisfied libido roared back to life when she wrapped her talented lips around his shaft.
He clutched the sheet and gave himself over to her. She applied just the right amount of suction and tongue. Then she squeezed his balls and almost sent him into yet another climax. She surprised him when she suddenly straddled him and took him in.
Whereas the last time had been fast and frantic, this time she took it slow, teasing and tormenting him until he was on the verge of begging. He gripped her hips, held her still and surged into her, coming with a roar.
She slumped down on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around her.
All night long, he’d been nervous about broaching the subject of the dinner party. Now that he could feel her starting to inch toward sleep, he couldn’t put it off any longer. “I was thinking…”
“About?”
“Getting you and my mom together so you can get to know each other better.”
He felt her stiffen in his arms the instant before she shifted off him.
“What?” he asked.
She drew the sheet up and over her. “Let’s not do that.”
“Why not?”
“Why can’t we just be about this?” She gestured to the bed.
“About what? Sex, sex and more sex?”
“What’s
wrong
with that? Aren’t we having a good time together? Why does it have to involve other people?”
“Because. She’s my mother, and you’re my…well, girlfriend. I want you two to get along.”
“I’m hardly your girlfriend, Freddie.”
“Yes, you are.” Once again his heart beat faster, but this time it was due to the odd bolt of fear that traveled through him. “Why would you say that?”
“Um, maybe because ever since we started fucking, we haven’t been anywhere or done anything—except fuck, that is. I’d say that makes me your fuck buddy rather than your girlfriend.”
Put off by her crude language, he sat up in bed. “That’s not true! I took you to Skip’s wedding. I offered to take you to dinner—”
She rested a finger over his lips. “We’re both doing exactly what we want to be doing. Just don’t make it into something it’s not.”
Disentangling himself from her, he got up and went to find his jeans.
“Where’re you going?”
Trying to control his anger, he pulled on his pants and zipped them, not bothering with the button.
“Freddie, come on. Don’t go.”
“I don’t want a fuck buddy,” he said, making an effort to keep his tone even. “I want a girlfriend. I want a
real
girlfriend. I want this too.” He gestured to the bed. “But that’s not all I want. So unless you’re up for more than this, I’m done.” As he said the words, he had the presence of mind to wonder if he could really do without the sex. He was, after all, addicted.
“You don’t mean that.”
He swallowed hard. “Yes, I do.”
Looking over at her as he tugged on his shirt, he said, “I’m making dinner on Friday night, and I’ve already invited my mother. If you’re interested in a real relationship, come to dinner. If you’re not, well, then it’s been nice, but it’s over.”
Her blue eyes flashed with anger. “So you’re giving me an ultimatum? Have dinner with your mother or we’re done?”
He sat on the bed, reached for her hand and linked his fingers with hers. “It’s not about my mother, Elin. It’s about me wanting more than a sex-only relationship. Maybe that works for you, but it’s just not who I am.” As he said the words, Freddie realized this was exactly what his mother and Sam had been trying to tell him.
“They’ve gotten to you,” she said, tuning into his thoughts. “That’s what this is really about.”
Shaking his head, he leaned in to kiss her. “I care about you. I enjoy being with you, but I need more than this.”
“You can’t just change the rules midstream. That’s hardly fair to me.”
“It’s terribly unfair. I agree.” With one last squeeze, he released her hand and got up to find his boots. “I hope I see you Friday night—any time after seven.”
“I won’t be there.”
He ached with regret, but he had no doubt he was doing the right thing for himself. “That’s your choice, but I really hope you’ll come. I’d miss you if I never saw you again.”
“You’d miss the sex,” she muttered.
“I’d miss everything,” he said as he donned his coat. With one last long look at her, he left her pouting in bed and walked out of her apartment—maybe for the last time. Every guy he knew would call him ten kinds of crazy for walking away from a woman like her who wanted a sex-only relationship. But Freddie wasn’t most guys and he never had been. That much he knew for sure.
How would he live without the sex he’d come to crave? Well, that was another matter altogether.
The words, once he started, kept coming and coming. For more than an hour, the normally reticent Tommy Gonzales talked to Christina about Peter Gibson, about his role in the search that yielded enough evidence to put the guy away for life, about his memories of the day his friend and colleague had nearly been murdered by her ex-husband, about his great fear that Gibson would be released from jail to come at Sam again, and about how he and Detective Cruz planned to redouble their efforts to find the person who shot Sam’s father. He talked about his baby son, who he would name Alejandro, after the baby’s grandfather, but would call him Alex. A child growing up in America should have an American name.
Lying next to him in bed, holding his hand between both of hers, Christina listened without interruption.
Finally, he seemed to run out of words. He turned his head so he could see her, his expression sheepish and adorable. “I’m talking your ear off.”
“I don’t mind.” His earlier profession of love was still settling with her. She wanted to pinch herself to make sure this was really happening. For years, she’d pined after John O’Connor who hadn’t even known she was alive—as anything other than a good friend and dedicated employee, that is.
And now this…. Despite the differences in their backgrounds, despite the baby who might be entering his life, despite their busy, unpredictable jobs, she and Tommy had each other, and Christina had never felt more lucky or certain that she had found the one for her.
His beautiful brown eyes were so somber, so serious. Before the call from Lori, Christina had never seen them that way before. “What’re you thinking?”
“I have to fight for him, you know?”
“Of course you do.”
“I just keep worrying about what I’ll do if I win.”
She pushed herself up on one elbow. “What do you mean?”
“When I say I know nothing about babies, I mean
nothing
. Maybe he’s better off with her.”
“You know that’s not true.” She combed her fingers through his hair. “And just like any new parent, you’ll figure out what you need to know when you need to know it.”
“But what if I break him or something? Yesterday when she handed him to me…?”
Her lips quivering, Christina nodded.
“That was the first time I’ve held a baby since my nephew was born, and that was
years ago
.”
Trying to suppress the urge to laugh, Christina placed her hands on his face. “Tommy, honey, you won’t break him.” She brushed a kiss over his lips. “You’ll be great with him. I promise.”
“What if I never get the chance? She’s so pissed about social services showing up at her house.”
“You’re his father. You have rights, just like she does.”
“What if I’m not really his father? Until we get the DNA test results back, I won’t know for sure.”
Christina touched her finger to the dimple on his chin, following with a kiss. “The proof is in the dimple.”
He drew her down so she rested on top of him. “I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I?”
The vulnerability she heard in his voice and saw on his face touched her heart. “I wouldn’t expect you to do anything else.”
Sifting his fingers through her hair, he studied her intently. “I couldn’t deal with this without you.”
“Yes, you could.”
“I’m glad I don’t have to.”
Christina rested her head on his chest and listened to the strong beat of his heart, thrilled to know he’d given it to her.
His hands traveled from her shoulders to her back to her bottom.
Her entire body tingled with awareness. No one had ever made her feel the way he did. “Tommy,” she whispered.
“Hmm?”
“You really love me?”
His arms tightened around her. “I really do. You really love me?”
“Yes.”
“You’re the best thing to happen to me in a really long time. Maybe ever…”
Christina sighed. “Me too.”
He tilted her chin and kissed her.
She’d been on her way to sleep, but within seconds was wide awake again. “You have to work in the morning.”
“I know,” he said.
His lips went to work on her neck, raising goose bumps over her entire body. “
Tommy!
”
Laughing, he kept up the mischief until their laughter faded to moans.
For the first morning since she’d given up her diet cola addiction, Sam didn’t feel like she was slugging through quicksand. That, she supposed, was progress. At HQ, she arrived to utter chaos in the pit.
“Whoa,” she said to the noisy group of detectives gathered outside her office. “
Whoa!
”
All eyes turned to her.
“What the heck is going on?”
“McBride is missing,” Freddie said quietly.
A quick look at his face confirmed that what he’d said was true.
As a surge of fear and adrenaline zipped through her, Sam zeroed in on Detective William Tyrone, McBride’s partner. “Define missing.”
Tyrone swallowed hard. His usual composure had given way to panic, which added to Sam’s growing anxiety. “We did like you said—we followed Selina last night. She went to work, came home and that’s it. Nothing really happened. So me and Jeannie…I mean, Detective McBride, we parted ways. I told her I’d do the report from home and send it in. When I got home, I had a question I needed to ask her so I tried to call her, but there was no answer.”
“Maybe she’s asleep?”
He shook his head. “She always takes my calls. Always. Even when she’s asleep or with Michael.” Sam understood that. She and Cruz had a similar arrangement.
“Did you go to her place?”
Tyrone nodded. “And Michael’s. That’s when I started to get worried. She goes over there every morning after the nights she’s on duty to see him before he leaves for work. She never showed up, and he’s been trying to call her too. No way she’d ignore calls from both of us. That’s just not her. Something’s happened, L.T., I know it.”
Sam’s stomach ached with the sharp pains she hadn’t experienced since she quit soda. The others were looking to her for direction. She bit back her own surge of panic, and tried to focus. “Recall second and third shifts. Put out an APB for her and her car. I want all available department resources directed toward finding her.”
As the others scattered to follow her orders, Sam stepped into her office and reached for the phone to let Captain Malone and Chief Farnsworth know what was going on. Both arrived in the pit within minutes.
“What do you know?” Farnsworth asked, his gray eyes flat with concern and stress. Once Sam had updated him, he demanded that Tyrone go through his story once more. By the time he was done, Sam could tell the young detective was coming unraveled.
“Cruz,” she said, “take Tyrone to the cafeteria. Get him something to eat.”
“I can’t eat, L.T. I just can’t. Give me something to do. Anything.”
Sam thought for a moment. “Dump her cell phone. And the boyfriend’s.”
“He didn’t have anything to do with this,” Tyrone said emphatically. “He’s crazy about her.”
“Just do it, Detective.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he muttered as he walked away.
“What can I do?” Freddie asked.
“Go with Gonzo and Arnold and get over to Columbia Heights. That’s where she was last seen. Take pictures of her with you and start a canvas.”
“Do you think it’s related to our case?” he asked hesitantly.
Sam thought about Maria and Regina and the bloody crime scenes at their homes. Then she thought of Jeannie—beautiful, smart, funny Jeannie. Her stomach ached. “I sure as hell hope not.”
“But?”
“Is it coincidental that she might’ve been snatched after watching one of their friends all night?”
Freddie released an unsteady breath as the possibilities settled on him.
“Go start the canvas, and report in every half hour.”
Nodding, he hurried off.
The chief stepped into the office.
“I authorized all department resources be devoted to finding McBride,” Sam said. “But I realized I don’t have the authority—”
“In a case like this you do. You absolutely do.”
“I know I’m supposed to stay calm and take command…” If only her hands would quit shaking.
“Give yourself a minute and then do just that.”
“If anything happens to her…”
“Things happen on this job, Lieutenant. You know that as well as anyone.”
His words were the splash of cold water she’d needed. “I’ll set up a command post in the conference room and keep you informed of every development.”