Everything.
Instead of responding, he went at her like a man starving. Covering her mouth with his, he couldn’t fight the hunger surging through him. She’d planned to leave. He could have lost her and spent God knew how long hunting her down until he figured things out. Some primal part of him needed to stake a claim, if only for himself.
Mara didn’t even pause, just slid her arms around him and clutched at his back, digging in with her fingers. She met his tongue stroke for stroke until his body covered hers and her legs were around his waist. She grinded herself against his cock, her actions frantic. All he wanted to do was shred the material between them and push deep inside her.
Somehow he pulled back to stare down at her. In the darkness her green eyes appeared almost midnight, but the need in them was real. “I’m so angry at you, Mara,” he whispered harshly, his voice and even his hands shaking slightly.
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I know. You’re right to be. I’m angry at myself.”
“Why the fuck couldn’t you trust
me
?” That was what hurt more than anything. The knowledge that he’d trusted her with all of himself but she’d still held back something so huge. As if he was no different than anyone else in her life, and didn’t have her trust. Didn’t she know he’d do anything it took to protect her? That he would have stood beside her this whole time and shouldered the burden with her? It stung that she hadn’t even reached out to him when her life was in danger.
“I haven’t trusted anyone since I was ten years old.” She swallowed again, the sound seeming to echo in the still room.
Mara had told him about her past, but he wasn’t sure now what was true and what wasn’t. “The stuff with your mother and her boyfriends’?” He didn’t spell it out because she’d know what he meant.
Her eyes flashed with raw pain before her gaze became completely shuttered. “All true. She never believed me when one of them got too handsy or decided to beat on me. The one time I told a teacher at school, the woman thought I was lying in an attempt to get attention. She told my mother and I paid for it at home from her and her current guy.” She cleared her throat and surprised him by continuing. “My second year with MI6 I became involved with a coworker. He was bright, driven and…” She trailed off and Harrison realized he’d made an annoyed growl.
A ghost of a smile played on her lips before she said, “Anyway, I thought I was in love. We were both workaholics and knew the risks so there was never any guilt associated over work. I thought everything between us was perfect. A post opened up in France that I’d been dying for. Everyone wanted it, including him, but they offered it to me. Stupid woman that I am, I turned it down because I knew the distance would kill our relationship. They offered it to him next and he took it. Up and left me without a second thought. It showed me how little I’d learned.”
Though he didn’t want to feel anything, understanding swept through him. They’d had such different childhoods. He’d lost his mother when he was young, but he’d always had a strong foundation of family. Two brothers and a loving father to support him. She’d had no one once her father had died and at every turn, people betrayed her. He was silent as he watched her struggle to talk. When it was clear she was done, he laid his forehead against hers. “So you lumped me in with your past?”
“I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. I wouldn’t have married you otherwise, but my past experiences are all I have. They’re what shaped me into who I am today,” she whispered. “I don’t…I don’t know how to be different. I want to so desperately, but I think I’m too screwed up…”
“Is your name even Mara?” It was the one question he’d been holding on to.
“Yes. It’s my given name. When they recruited me I became Cait Chilcott, but after I left I resumed my identity. They helped me build a work and life history with my real name then let me go.” Her voice was soft and she didn’t take her gaze off him.
From what little he knew about MI6 that sounded about right. “Will you answer any of my questions?”
She nodded, her expression earnest, if a little frightened.
“What’s changed?” he demanded.
“I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I thought I was prepared for that when I left, but…I can’t do it. It would kill me.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
He wanted to ask if she loved him, but if he saw even a moment of hesitation in her eyes, it would destroy him. Harrison had never thought he’d settle down or get married, but meeting Mara had been like getting punched right between the eyes. She’d taken him completely by surprise in every way, especially when he’d told her about his past. The sexy woman took everything in stride and was such a calming influence in his life. Not only that, but she was incredibly giving of her time to the women and children at the local shelter she volunteered at. It was her way of helping those that couldn’t help themselves, the innocent victims like she had been.
She might have lied to him about her former profession, her training and what forged her, but he
loved
the woman in his arms. He had no idea if he could let her lies go, but his heart wanted to. “I want to know why you left your job, but not now.” He didn’t form it as a question, but she nodded.
“I’ll tell you everything.” Her voice was so quiet he barely heard her.
He paused for a long moment, watching her, before he decided to do what every fiber inside him was screaming at him to do. “I’m going to make you come.” His words were practically a growl, the harsh sound reverberating around the room.
Her eyes widened in surprise and her lips parted seductively. Right now he
needed
to make her come. Needed to know that he affected her like no one else did. No matter what the future held for them, some primal part of him needed to know he could play her body any way he chose. At least there’d always been honesty between them in this.
Mara didn’t respond, but her breathing grew erratic as she watched him through heavy lidded eyes. That was the only response he needed. Her acquiescence.
Moving off the bed, he scooped her up and stalked to their bedroom. Where she should have been sleeping anyway. The bed had been so damn cold without her in it. He probably wouldn’t have heard her cry out if he hadn’t been up and pacing, fighting the growing need to go to her. Guilt gnawed at him for locking the door on her earlier. It was fucked up even if she had lied to him. She was still his wife and this was her home.
When they reached the bedroom, his entire body flared to life at the sight of their large bed. The simple blue and white covers were already pulled back and most of the pillows shoved onto the floor.
He set her on her feet by the foot of the bed and didn’t waste any time drawing her T-shirt over her head. At the moment, he didn’t have much patience.
Her nipples hardened under his intense stare and when she went to cover her breasts, his head jerked up. “What are you doing?” he demanded.
“Are you okay? You look…” She trailed off, her expression wary.
Though she didn’t voice it, he could guess how he appeared. Fucking hungry as hell for her. God, he wanted to kiss and lick every inch of her. Make her scream his name as she climaxed. He
needed
to hear his name on her lips so bad his body was pulled taut with an intense aching hunger.
Leaning down, he captured one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking hard so that she gasped and arched her back, pushing deeper against him. He splayed his palm against her back, holding her in place while he licked and teased the hardened bud.
Her fingers clutched his shoulders as she squirmed, clearly eager for more. He almost smiled against her skin. She had a love-hate relationship with foreplay. She loved what he did to her body, but she was always so impatient.
Grabbing her ass, he lifted her up against him, letting her covered pussy rub against his cock. He crawled up the mattress with her clutching onto him until her head was closer to the headboard.
“You don’t get to cover yourself in front of me. Ever.” The territorial male was out in full force now, and there was no putting him back on a leash.
Her green eyes flared with lust as she outstretched her arms to either side of her head toward the headboard. The submissive action nearly undid him because it was so rare. Normally she liked to be coaxed into it or taken by surprise. Whenever she gave up her control so quickly, it pushed his need to the limit.
“You’re sure?” he asked quietly. He’d restrained her too many times to count, but he knew she had to be feeling raw right now and no matter how much he needed to exert his dominance, he couldn’t take advantage of her.
“No matter what, I know you’d never hurt me.” There was so much trust in her gaze, his throat tightened.
Beyond words at the moment, he reached over the headboard and pulled up one of the restraints he’d installed. They were impossible to see since they fell back behind the bed when not in use. Attached to a sturdy cord was a leather cuff lined with a silky material. He would never understand why anyone used metal handcuffs. They abused the skin and the last thing he ever wanted to do was mar her soft flesh.
He secured the first, then the second around her other wrist. With her arms pulled up and out, she was like an offering splayed out for him alone. Her pale pink nipples were beaded and she kept shifting against the bed, as if she was uncomfortable, but he knew exactly what she was doing. Her pussy ached and his impatient wife was trying to get relief.
Letting his gaze trail down the length of her slim, pale body his mouth actually watered. He never knew where to start with her. It didn’t matter that they’d been together almost two years, he always felt like a randy teenager. He loved claiming every part of her delectable body. Reaching between her legs, he cupped her and couldn’t hide his grin. Even through the material he could feel how damp she was. Grinding the heel of his palm against her cleft, he shuddered as she rolled her hips upward, into his hold.
Mara might hate the distance that had grown between her and her husband, especially since it was her own doing, but she loved it when Harrison got near his breaking point. When he needed to exert control and restrain her.
It guaranteed they’d both end up sweaty and sated. Eventually.
Because he definitely liked to drag sex out most of the time. It was all about that control for him. She wasn’t sure if he needed to prove something to himself or what, but it was incredibly hot and he always made sure she climaxed at least twice. She’d found that she craved that dominant side to him. It seemed to calm something inside him whenever she gave up control and that alone gave her pleasure because he needed it. Needed her.
As he pressed his palm against her slick body, she tried to mentally will him to do more. His dark eyes narrowed on her and a slow, seductive grin spread across his face. “So impatient,” he murmured.
She was and he loved to capitalize on that. She rolled her hips again, urging him on but he just withdrew his hand.
Shifting position, he straddled her, placing his hands on either side of her head and caging her in. He wore a simple black T-shirt and striped blue and black boxers. What she wouldn’t give to see more of his body.
“At least take off your shirt.” Maybe she should be embarrassed at the breathless, almost desperate quality of her demand, but she rarely felt self-conscious around him. And she wanted him to know how much she needed him physically. While she knew he needed more than just the physical aspect right now, it was the one thing she could show him immediately.
His eyes darkened as he quickly stripped his shirt. She stared at his broad, muscular chest and instinctively struggled against the bonds on her wrists, wanting to touch him. Oh, how she wanted to feel all that strength under her fingertips, but she enjoyed the struggle and her eventual surrender.
Before she could complain, he leaned down and lightly brushed his lips over hers. When she tried to deepen the kiss, he lifted back slightly and shook his head before he brushed his lips over hers again.
The teasing action had her inner walls clenching and her nipples tightening painfully. She wanted so much more and she knew he was enjoying teasing her. It was heightening her desire that much more and part of her wondered if he was reaffirming their bond. It felt like that to her, but she was too afraid to read too much into this, especially if it was just physical for him.
He moved lower down her body, brushing feather light kisses along her jaw and collarbone until finally he hovered over one of her nipples. His warm breath tickled her, and she arched her back.
Thankfully he took mercy on her and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth with a sharp action that had her clit pulsing out of control. Oh yeah, when he finally stimulated her there, she’d be done in seconds. When she went to wrap her legs around him, he lifted his head, then reached back and grasped her ankles.
He slowly shook his head. “Trying to get off on your own?”
Her face flushed because that was exactly what she’d wanted to do. All she would have had to do was grind against his cock and even through their clothes, she would climax. Harrison had the ability to prime her body in a way no one else could.
“Do I need to restrain your ankles?” he asked quietly.
“No.” She was surprised he hadn’t to start with.