Authors: Frank Tallis
âPeculiar,' said the Commissioner. âVery strange . . . but I see no reason for maintaining security-office involvement. Do you?' Brügel lifted his head and his eyebrows drew closer together: âWell?'
âSir, we've hardlyâ'
âThese reports are perfectly adequate,' said Brügel, allowing his palm to come down heavily on the papers and thereby underscoring the finality of his decision.
âSir . . .' Rheinhardt protested. âThe wounds on Zelenka's body, Perger's letter . . .'
âWhat about them? I'm perfectly satisfied with your explanation . . . the persecution of scholarship boys. It's a sorry situation, but there we are, we all know what goes on in military schools. I went to St Polten, you know.'
âBut it's not just a case of bullying, sir. A boy died!'
âYes, of natural causes.'
âIndeed, but I have . . .' Rheinhardt stopped himself.
âYou have what?' asked the Commissioner.
There it was again:
I have a feeling . . . a feeling, a feeling.
âI have . . .' Rheinhardt blustered â. . . yet to interview the mathematics master â Herr Sommer. He may have some important information which, I believe, will shine new light on Zelenka's fate.' Rheinhardt was playing a perilous game â and he hoped that the Commissioner would not press him.
âWhat makes you think that?'
âIt is not my opinion, as such . . .'
âThen whose?'
âDoctor Liebermann's.'
Von Bulow shifted in his chair and made a disparaging noise.
âWith respect, von Bulow,' said Rheinhardt. âMay I remind you that Doctor Liebermann's methods have proved very effective in the past â as you well know.'
âHe's been lucky, that's all,' retorted von Bulow.
âNo one could possibly be
that
lucky.'
âWell,' said von Bulow. âThere's no other explanation, is there?'
âPsychoanalysis?'
âJewish psychology! I think not!'
âGentlemen!' Brügel growled.
The two men fell silent under the Commissioner's fierce glare.
Rheinhardt seized the opportunity to continue his appeal. âSir, I have already arranged for Doctor Liebermann to interview the boy Perger on Saturday. The mathematics master, Herr Sommer, is expected to return to St Florian's very soon . . .'
âEnough, Rheinhardt,' said the Commissioner, raising his hand. âEnough.' Brügel examined the photograph of Zelenka again and
mumbled something under his breath. He tapped the photograph and grimaced, as if suffering from acute dyspepsia. âVery well, Rheinhardt,' he continued. âYou may continue with your investigation.'
âThank you, sir,' cried Rheinhardt, glancing â as he did so â triumphantly at von Bulow (whose expression had become fixed in the attitude of a sneer since he'd uttered the words
Jewish psychology)
.
âBut not for long, you understand?' the Commissioner interjected. âAnother week or so, that's all â and then only if you can get out to St Florian's without compromising the success of your new assignment.'
âYes, sir,' said Rheinhardt. âI understand.'
âGood,' said the Commissioner. âNow, let us proceed . . . What I am about to reveal, Rheinhardt, is classified information. You must not breathe a word of it to anyone â not even to your assistant.' He paused to emphasise the point, and continued: âInspector von Bulow is currently overseeing a special operation â a joint venture with our colleagues from Budapest â the outcome of which is of paramount importance. The very stability of the dual monarchy is at stake. Needless to say, we are directly answerable to the very highest authority.'
Brügel leaned back in his chair and tacitly invited Rheinhardt to inspect the portrait hanging on the wall behind his desk: the Emperor, Franz Josef, in full military dress.
âWhat do you want me to do?' asked Rheinhardt.
âWe want you to follow someone,' said von Bulow.
âWho?'
Von Bulow reached down and picked up a briefcase. He released the hasps and produced a photograph which he handed to Rheinhardt â a head-and-shoulders portrait of a young man with black curly hair, a long horizontal moustache and a pronounced five o' clock shadow.
âHis name?'
âLázár Kiss.'
It was a brooding, unhappy face, and the young man's eyes had the fiery glow of a zealot's.
âA nationalist?' Rheinhardt ventured.
Von Bulow did not reply. His jaw tightened.
âRheinhardt . . .' said Brügel, stroking his magnificent mutton-chop whiskers. âGiven the sensitive nature of this operation, we are not at liberty to disclose any more information than we have to. I must ask you to desist from asking further questions. You will receive your instructions â and you will carry them out. You need not concern yourself with anything more. Is that clear?'
âYes, sir.'
âDo you know the restaurant called Csarda?' said von Bulow.
âOn the Prater?'
âIt is where Herr Kiss dines. He is a creature of habit, and arrives there shortly after one o'clock, every day. Follow him until late afternoon â then deliver a written report of his movements to my office by six o'clock. You will repeat the exercise on Sunday and Monday, and I will then issue you with further instructions on Tuesday morning.'
So this was the sorry pass he had come to, thought Rheinhardt â reassigned to do von Bulow's footwork!
âMay I ask . . .' said Rheinhardt, painfully conscious of the prohibition that had just been placed on all forms of non-essential inquiry. âMay I ask why it is that I â a Detective Inspector â have been chosen to undertake this task? Surely, von Bulow's assistant could do just as good a job.'
âThere must be no mistakes' said Brügel. âYou are an experienced officer, Rheinhardt. I know you won't let us down.'
The appearance of the Commissioner's teeth in a crescent, which
Rheinhardt supposed to be a smile, did nothing to ease his discomfort.
âAnd would I be correct,' said Rheinhardt, risking another question, âin assuming that there are some very significant dangers associated with this assignment?'
What other reason could there be for such secretiveness? If they didn't tell him anything, he would have nothing to disclose â even if he were captured and threatened with violence.
âOur work is always associated with significant dangers, Rheinhardt,' said the Commissioner bluntly.
Rheinhardt passed the photograph of Lázár Kiss back to von Bulow.
âNo â you can keep it,' said von Bulow. âBut do not take it out of the building.'
Rheinhardt put the photograph in his pocket and looked up at the wall clock. It was eleven o'clock.
âCsarda,' he said.
âCsarda,' repeated von Bulow. âI look forward to receiving your report.'
Rheinhardt got up, bowed, and made for the door.
âRheinhardt?' It was von Bulow again. Rheinhardt turned, to see von Bulow inscribing the air with an invisible pen. âHandwriting?'
Rheinhardt forced a smile, the insincerity of which he hoped was unmistakable.
PROFESSOR FREUD â ENVELOPED
in a haze of billowing cigar smoke â began his third consecutive joke: âAn elderly Jew was travelling on the slow train from Moscow to Minsk, and at one of the stops on the way he bought a large salt herring. At the same stop a Russian boy got on the train and started to tease him:
You Jews
, he said,
you have a reputation for being clever. How come, eh? How come you are all so clever?
The old man looked up from his herring and said:
Well, since you are such a well-mannered young man, and have asked me so politely, I'll tell you our secret, but only if you promise not to tell anyone.
The boy suddenly became more serious and swore on his mother's life that he wouldn't tell a soul.
We Jews
, said the old man,
are so clever because we eat the head of the salt herring
. The boy was impressed and said:
In which case, I intend to get clever right away. You still have the head of the herring you've just eaten. Would you sell it to me?
The old Jew was reluctant, but eventually gave in.
All right, all right
, he said.
You can have it for a rouble
. The boy couldn't wait to get started and paid. When he was almost finished eating he shouted:
Wait a minute . . . I saw you buy the whole herring for just ten kopecks â and I paid you ten times more for the head!
The old Jew smiled and said:
You see, it's beginning to work already.
'
The Professor leaned back in his chair, satisfied with the joke's effect on his young disciple: a counterfeit grimace and the ignition of a bright light in Liebermann's eyes.
âLast year, you said you were thinking about writing a book on jokes,' said Liebermann. âIs that still your intention?'
âIn actual fact,' said Freud, âI've been tinkering with the joke book for some time â but progress has been slow. I've been simultaneously engaged on another project: a collection of essays on sexuality, which, I believe, may prove to be of much greater significance. Even so, I keep finding myself returning to the joke book.' He paused and puffed on his dying cigar. âYes, there is much to be learned from a close examination of jokes. Psychoanalysis has demonstrated â beyond doubt â that we should not underestimate small indications. It is by close observation of phenomena that have hitherto been supposed trivial, such as dreams, blunders â and yes, jokes â that we are afforded our greatest insights.'
The Professor assumed a more serious expression: âThe other day, I read something in the
Freie Presse
. . . One of the Mayor's associates had made a joke about Jews who wished to convert. He said that when being baptised, they should be held under water for at least ten minutes.' Freud smiled, wryly. âNot a bad joke, all things considered . . . but so very revealing! It would seem that primitive urges â forbidden satisfaction by the prohibitions of civilised society and thus repressed â ultimately find expression in the content of jokes. So it is that our jokes betray us, revealing, as they do, our shameful desires and, in the case of the Mayor's associate, a murderous impulse.'
Liebermann recognised that this same reasoning could be applied to Freud himself. Such a clear understanding of the dark underpinnings of humour strongly suggested to him that Freud (a Jewish man who had been collecting Jewish jokes for many years â many of which were anti-Semitic) must be ambivalent about his own racial origins. Such ambivalence was not uncommon among assimilated Jews. Indeed, Liebermann reflected, his own feelings were plainly mixed. He was often embarrassed by the appearance of a
kaftan on the Ringstrasse, or the Yiddisher pleadings of an impecunious pedlar . . .
Liebermann noticed that Freud's attention had been captured by the ancient statuettes on his desk, in particular by a small female figure of pale orange clay. She was standing with her weight on her right leg, her head turned to the side, and a mantle was drawn over her loose gown. In her left hand she held a fan and her hair was drawn back and tied into a bun beneath a conical sunhat.
Freud suddenly looked up. His expression had softened and he had a look that Liebermann had only ever seen on the face of a proud parent â a moist-eyed muted pride.
âGreek,' said Freud. âHellenistic Period â believed to be from Tanagra, 330â250 BC.'
Although Liebermann did not usually share Freud's love of ancient artefacts, being a great enthusiast for all things modern, he did see considerable aesthetic virtue in this particular figure: its poise, its natural, unaffected elegance.
âCharming,' said Liebermann. âQuite charming.'
Freud broke out of his reverie and offered Liebermann another cigar. The young doctor declined and, seizing the opportunity to change the subject, raised the book that he had been patiently nursing on his lap.
âHave you ever seen one of these?'
He handed the volume to Freud who, looking rather puzzled, replied: âNo . . . what is it?'
âA klecksography book,' said Liebermann. âIt's a kind of game, for children.'
Freud flicked it open and examined the symmetrical patterns.
âThe ink blots,' Liebermann continued, âare usually accompanied by verses, which serve to guide the imagination â the idea being to look at the ink blot until what is being described appears. Such books
are based on an original by Justinus Kerner â a physician and poet from Ludwigsburg. It occurred to me that this principle might be used to discover the contents of the unconscious. If ink blots are presented without any verses, then whatever the viewer claims to see must reflect â to some extent â a projection from his own mind. After all, there is nothing really there . . .'
Freud hummed and said: âInteresting . . . it is such a simple task that defences might be relaxed, resulting in the inadvertent escape of repressed material.' He lifted the delightful figurine from her place between a terracotta sphinx and a bronze Egyptian deity and began to stroke the inanimate object as if it were a pet. âRepressed material that might subsequently be subject to a psychoanalytic interpretation.'
âIndeed,' said Liebermann, enlivened by the positive response of his mentor. âIf an observer were to see two wrestling men in an ink blot, rather than an exotic flower, this might indicate the presence of an underlying hostile impulse â not unlike the latent aggression you have identified in jokes. The procedure, however, is not without precedent. I undertook some research at the university library and discovered that Binet has already recommended the use of ink blots to study what he calls
involuntary imagination
. So I cannot lay claim to having discovered anything original.'
âWhen walking in the Alps,' Freud responded dreamily, âI have often lain down and observed the passage of clouds â and in their vague whiteness found the outlines of castles and fantastic creatures. One supposes that from time immemorial mankind has been prone to the imaginative interpretation of natural phenomena â clouds, rock formations, puddles . . .' His voice suddenly became more determined: âYour discovery â if not wholly original â is still of value. For it demonstrates again the value of the psychoanalytic sensibility. Even in the most trivial phenomena, we can find buried treasure.'