Fate of the Vampire (21 page)

I started feeling a bit frantic. I didn’t know how I was going to make it from day to day without Jessie in my life. I must have felt like an addict did when denied his drug of choice. I felt like I would go crazy if I had to live without him. “Can we at least write to each other?” I asked.

Sighing, Jessie put his arms around me. He pulled me close and rested his chin on my head. “I am not allowed to correspond with Aurora Keys.”

This gave me an idea, and I looked up at him. “But what if you didn’t write to Aurora Keys?” I wanted to know. “What if you were writing to Colette Gibson?” I had a passport with Colette’s name on it, after all. “I could set up a post box in another town. You could write to Colette, and she could write to you.”

“That might work,” Jessie said, thinking it over. “We do get a lot of mail at the castle. Especially from young ladies who should really know better. Viggo usually throws it out, but I could express a new interest.”

“I have some blue stationery,” I told him. “You could know a letter is from me if it comes in a pale blue envelope.”

“This might work,” he said, giving me a squeeze and smiling down at me. Then his smile faded. “Maybe we shouldn’t even try.”

“Why not?” I demanded. I thought I’d seen a ray of hope that Jessie was now trying to extinguish.

“Maybe I should just let you go,” he said. “It’s not fair of me to keep you tied to me. I should let you go so that you can move on with your life.”

“Do you really think that’s going to happen?” I asked, looking into his eyes. “Do you seriously believe that a month from now or a year from now or even ten years from now that I will have forgotten you?”

“No, I just
…” Jessie closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine. “I just want what’s best for you.”

“Then we’ll write,” I said. “We’ll figure something out.”

Jessie nodded. “There is one more thing.”

“There’s more?” I said, exasperated. “You
r grandfather hasn’t taken enough away from us?”

“This is for me,” he said.

“What?”

He drew in a deep breath and then said, “I need you to take back your invitation. I need to no longer be welcome in your home.”

“No,” I told him, instantly against it. There was something about his request that felt to final. “I don’t understand the point.”

Jessie held me close. “I know this is hard to understand, but if my grandfather knew that I had an open invitation to your home, he might use it against us.”

“How?” I asked. “You made your deal. You won’t see me again, and he can’t hurt me. Why do I have to take back the invitation?”

“Because I was only able to make the deal for you,” Jessie told me. I could tell it pained him to explain things to me, but he forced himself. “Your mother, any mortal visitor to your home
… They would all be in danger. If my grandfather commanded me to …” His words trailed off as he was unwilling to paint me too detailed of a picture.

Jessie took my face in both of his hands. His beautiful gray eyes were filled with pain. “Say the words,” he whispered. He kissed me fiercely but then quickly pulled away again. “Say the words to banish me from your home.”

“I will say them,” I told him, gently pulling his hands away from my face. I knew he was only thinking of the safety of me and my loved ones. “I promise you I will take back my invitation, but there’s one thing I need you to do for me first,” I said, getting to my feet.

I had a plan. It was a good plan, as far as I was concerned. But I didn’t know if I could force myself to do it. It was something I wanted so deeply and had wanted from almost the first moment I saw Jessie. This was our last chance. After this, we would probably never see each other again. I needed this to happen. I needed the memory to keep me warm on cold and lonely nights. I had to force myself to be brazen.

“What?” Jessie asked, his eyes wide as he looked up at me, observing my internal struggle.

I undid the tie on my robe and let it fall open. “I need you to make love to me.”

I stood there with my robe open, my bare breasts exposed. Besides my robe, I was only wearing a pair of pink cotton panties. I couldn’t believe I was standing before Jessie, naked, and asking him to be with me. I had no idea what he was thinking. Jessie was in many ways very traditional
, and I wondered if such a bold move on my part would repel him.

“Aurora,” Jessie gasped, leaping to his feet and sweeping me up in his arms. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

I felt an inward thrill of relief. He wanted me. He wasn’t going to immediately flee out the window.

“But are you sure, my darling?” he asked, laying me down on the bed. “Will this be too painful? You can be with
me now, but never again. Will it hurt too much after I’m gone?”

“Jessie,” I said, linking my arms around his neck. “Your leaving me will be painful no matter what. But if we have to be separated, then at least give me this memory.” I looked up at him shyly. “Please.”

Jessie needed no more encouragement. He stripped off his long coat rather vigorously and flung it on the floor. He went to kiss me and then jerked away. “What?” I asked, a little surprised.

“Are you wearing silver?” he asked.

I remembered the gift my great grandmother had just given me. “Sorry,” I said, quickly undoing the clasp and laying the necklace on the night stand. “Grandma Gibson just gave it to me.” I almost added that it used to be Lettie’s but stopped myself. There was no reason to bring her up at that exact moment.

Jessie squinted at the pendant for a moment as if it looked familiar to him. Then he lay down on top of me, the full length of his body pressing against mine. I could feel how aroused he was. The knowledge made me squirm a little underneath him
, and when I shifted, he let out a low moan. “Oh, my darling,” he whispered, kissing me deeply.

Eventually, his kisses moved lower, trailing down my neck and stopping at my left nipple. When he took my breast in his mouth, I let out a sharp gasp of pleasure, causing Jessie to tense up. “Aurora,
your mother,” he hissed.

“She’s out for the night,” I assured him, writhing underneath him, wanting every sexual sensation he was willing to provide.

Jessie smiled a wicked smile then lowered his head again to my breast.

My heart was broken. The thought of never seeing Jessie again was more than I could stand. But I didn’t want to ruin our beautiful night together with tears. I wanted to savor every second. So I took the knowledge that this was the last I would ever see of my beautiful Jessie Vanderlind and hid it away in my brain somewhere. I compartmentalized it to be examined and mourned at some time in the future. To quote Scarlett O’Hara, I told myself, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

There was a sea of pleasure to keep me distracted. The slightest touch from Jessie’s hand had always caused tingles to run up my spine, so having him kissing my practically naked body was driving me wild.

Jessie was wearing a deep blue cashmere sweater with a crisp white shirt underneath. I grabbed his sweater and tugged it over his head. When I reached for the buttons on his shirt, he lightly brushed my hands away and then ripped his shirt open, scattering mother
-of-pearl buttons across the floor.

Jessie’s chest was smooth and sculpted. The feeling of his flesh against mine was amazing
, and my body jerked and writhed in response.

“Do we need protection?” Jessie asked as his fingers dipped down beneath my panties
, causing me to lift my hips up off the mattress, desperate to get closer. “Is that something we should talk about?”

“I thought you said vampires couldn’t have children once they were turned,” I said, forcing my brain to think rationally about what he’d just asked me. It was a struggle.

“We can’t,” he said, raising his head from where he was kissing my belly.

I tangled my fingers in his hair. “Then let’s not worry.”

Jessie stripped my panties from me and tossed them on the floor. His kisses moved lower until he reached a very sweet spot. There his tongue and lips took up a rhythm that left me howling with pleasure. It was my first experience with any kind of climax, and I was astounded at how acutely, excruciatingly wonderful it felt.

When my body stopped convulsing, Jessie rested his head on my stomach while he let me catch my breath. I could tell he was smiling. “I knew it would be like this for us,” he said. “I knew you would be this sweet.”

I forced my brain not to think about the fact that this would be the only time we would be together. This short burst of passion was all that was meant for us.

Jessie started kissing my body again, this time moving up my right side, pausing to give my right breast some attention. I began pushing at the top of his pants, letting him know that he should no longer be wearing them. He kicked off his boots and obediently shed his pants onto the floor.

I’d never seen much in terms of the naked male physique. The statue of David was one of my few references. Besides the fact that Jessie was aroused and David was not, the vampire could definitely have given Michelangelo’s imagining of the perfect male specimen a run for his money.

“Oh, Jessie,” I said to him. “Please. Let’s be together now.”

He moved on top of me, my skin thrilling to the feel of his completely naked body against mine. “Are you sure, my darling? I understand that this might hurt a little.”

I knew that when a girl
lost her virginity there was frequently pain and some blood. The idea usually frightened me a little. But my desire to be with Jessie easily outweighed any qualms I would normally have had. “I’m ready,” I whispered, positioning my legs so that he was between my thighs.

I felt the pressure of him at the very base of me. He felt cool and firm. I had no real reference point of comparison, but I had the impression he was quite large. I felt the electric thrill of him sliding slowly inside me and my body spreading to accommodate him. When he came up against the proof of my virginity
, he paused. I knew he was reluctant to hurt me, even in this.

“Yes,” I said, lifting my hips a little, letting him know that it was al
l right.

With a decisive thrust
, Jessie broke through the barrier and was fully inside me. There was pain. A hot, searing, tearing pain. But it was quickly obliterated by waves of pleasure cascading over me. “Yes,” I repeated, letting him know that I was all right. I lifted my hips again. I needed him to keep going.

Our bodies quickly found a rhythm of him rising inside of me and then me rising to meet each thrust. It had a tempo
; it was a dance; it made me understand what I had been craving all those nights when I’d lain awake, twisting in the sheets and thinking of him. It was better than anything I had ever imagined. He rose; then I rose. He rose; then I rose. We went on and on and on together in perfect harmony.

The pleasure kept building and building inside of me. It started at my base, where Jessie and I were connected
, and then spread from there. It kept getting bigger and bigger until I knew exactly how it felt to be a cork in a bottle desperately trying to contain the pressure behind a burst of champagne.

“Hold on,” he whispered in my ear as he moved inside of me again, plunging even deeper. “Try to stay with me a little longer.”

I wanted to tell him that I would, but the mere act of trying to speak was impossible. I made a small whimpering noise and then it was like the cork had been forced out of the bottle by millions of sparkling bubbles. My body began to convulse, and an intense wail escaped from my lips.

Knowing I was climaxing must have pushed Jessie over the edge because he began convulsing too, thrusting into me so deeply that he was practically lifting me from the mattress.

Our wild thrashing slowed to trembling then to small shivers. Jessie rested his head against my breasts. We both started giggling a bit hysterically and then shivered again.

Eventually
, Jessie went to withdraw himself from me and I stopped him, locking my arms around him and whimpering, “No.” I didn’t want it to be over. I never wanted it to end.

“Aurora,” he said, kissing me lightly on the lips. “You will always be my first, my last, my only love.”

“But …” I tried to speak, but he silenced me with another kiss.

“It pains me, but I must leave,” he said, shifting off of me. “I can already feel my grandfather growing impatient,” he explained. “I do not want him to come looking for me.” Jessie started hunting for his clothes. “That would be very bad.”

I gathered my robe around me, suddenly feeling modest after being so incredibly immodest. “Promise me we’ll try to be together,” I said, catching at his arm. “Promise me that we’ll figure something out.”

He took me by both arms and kiss
ed me very firmly. “I promise you that I’ll try,” he whispered against my forehead. “With every fiber of my being, I will try.” He moved his head to look into my eyes. “But I want you to know that the chances are very slim. If I had any sense of decency, I would tell you not to hold out any hope.” He turned his face away from me. “But I can’t do it. I’m a coward in that, I’ll admit.”

“Don’t say that,” I told him, pressing as tightly against him as I could. Jessie was the bravest and most noble person I had ever met.

He returned my embrace, and we stood there, arms wrapped around each other, swaying slightly back and forth. Then Jessie went rigid. I looked up and saw a pained expression on his face. “I have to go,” he said.

“Now?” I didn’t want to release him from my arms.

“Yes,” Jessie said, firmly untangling himself from my grasp. “This very minute. I should have never stayed.” He hurried into the rest of his clothes. “Even for something as beautiful as what we just shared.”

“No,” I cried out, but I didn’t try to stop him as he strode to the window. The grim expression on his face told me there was nothing I could do.

“Goodbye, my love,” Jessie said as he climbed out the window to crouch on the roof. “I know this is hard, but you have to be brave. Please say the words now.” He looked me directly in the eyes, and I could see the pain he was suffering. “Please rescind your invitation.”

Every inch of my body wanted to protest. To rescind my invitation just felt too final. It felt wrong. But I knew Jessie was only asking for my own safety. I knew he wouldn’t make me do it unless it was a matter of life or death. I drew breath and said in a trembling voice, “Jessie Vanderlind, you are not longer welcome in this home. I take back my invitation.”

Jessie flinched, as if he’d been struck. “Thank you,” he said in a very faint voice. He extended his hand toward me, reaching for me, but then froze. I hurried toward the open window, but I was too late. In the brief few seconds it took me to cross the room, he was gone.