Authors: Radclyffe
"I don't know," Honor replied, her eyes dark pools of anguish. "All I know is that you're here right now and that later...you might not be."
...hit her in the back of the neck. Just like that. From one second to the next...she was here, and then...she wasn 't.
"Oh no," Quinn murmured, pain lancing through her. She framed Honor's face in gentle hands and kissed her forehead, then her closed lids, then her faintly trembling lips. "I'm going to go home and shower, and in a few hours, I'd like to come back so that you and Arly and I can go to the zoo together.
Tomorrow,
I'll see you at work and then in the evening at soccer practice. Some night later in the week, whenever Phyllis is free to watch Arly, I'd like it if you'd go to the movies with me.
Next weekend,
I'll coach at the game and then we can all rehash our victory at Robin and Linda's.
That's
what's going to happen after I leave here this morning."
"You make it sound so simple." Honor opened her eyes and searched Quinn's, finding the steady calm she was coming to rely upon.
The corner of Quinn's mouth lifted into a lazy grin. "Not simple. Not even routine. But certain."
"You forgot something," Honor whispered, trailing her fingers along the edge of Quinn's jaw and then down her throat until she pressed her palm against the center of Quinn's chest.
"What?" Quinn's voice's was husky, her blood rising as it always did when Honor touched her.
"The part when we're alone, here or at your apartment, and we're inside each other's body."
Inside each other's hopes and dreams.
"Oh, no. I didn't forget." Quinn shuddered, arousal leaping into her stomach and threatening to erupt. "That's there, always there, right at the heart of us."
Us.
That terrible, frightening, exhilarating word.
Honor shivered now. She leaned into Quinn and kissed her, a deep, slow, probing kiss that she continued until she was positive that she would carry the taste and feel of her all day. Then she drew back, trembling. "You should go now. Go
now,
because I'm aching for you."
Quinn had to grit her teeth to tear herself away. Even when she was beyond arm's reach, she could feel the pull of Honor's touch upon her skin. Hoarsely, she said, "I can feel you inside of me right now. I want to feel you that way all day, every day."
Every day for the rest of my life. Say yes, Honor. Tell me you want that, too.
Honor couldn't tell her how much she wanted those feelings never to change; she wanted it so deeply that she couldn't speak at all. But she could feel Quinn reach past the barriers that shielded her heart and touch her where she so desperately needed to be touched. She felt the passion beneath the gentle caress and heard the unwavering certainty in Quinn's voice. She feared to answer, but she dared, for the first time in so very long, to hope.
"I'll see you later," Quinn said softly, turning away to gather the rest of her clothes from the floor.
"I'll miss you," Honor finally said.
Quinn shrugged into her shirt and walked to the door. Before she reached to unlock it, she looked back over her shoulder to where Honor sat naked amidst the aftermath of their passion. "Good. I want you to."
The door closed gently behind Quinn, and although Honor tried, she could not hear her footsteps on the stairs.
You can't possibly know how much I'll miss you.
* * * * *
It was almost nine when the back door opened and Phyllis walked into the kitchen.
"Hi, Grandmom." Arly was perched on her stool at the table spooning biscuit dough from a bowl with an ice-cream scoop and arranging the sticky mounds in carefully spaced rows on a baking sheet. The evidence of her culinary adventure was visible on the table, the floor, and portions of her person.
"Hello, darling mine." The joy shining in Arty's eyes made Phyllis's heart lift.
When Honor was not working Sunday, it was a ritual for the three of them to have breakfast together. Honor always awoke early whether she was working or not, and since Arly was an early riser as well, breakfast was usually well underway by 8:30.
"I was just about to call you," Honor said as she glanced up from the stove with a concerned expression. "I thought you were going to miss breakfast."
"I wouldn't think of it." Phyllis leaned down and kissed Arty's head. "Mmm, don't they look good."
Arly grinned proudly. "Mom measured, but I mixed everything together myself."
"Wonderful." Phyllis stepped over Pooch, who was sprawled at Arly's feet, and joined Honor. "Anything I can do to help?"
"Nope. We're having vegetable frittatas and homemade buttermilk biscuits." Honor poured the eggs into the frying pan, added the vegetables she'd prepared, and turned the flame down low. "Another few minutes and it'll be ready."
"We're going to the zoo today," Arly announced excitedly.
"That should be tun," Phyllis said as she efficiently set the table.
"We're going with Quinn. It's like a date."
Phyllis merely smiled at the small choking sound that came from Honor's direction. "I can't wait to hear all about it."
As soon as breakfast was over, Arly took Pooch into the backyard to play. Honor and Phyllis carried their coffee onto the porch to relax and keep an eye on them.
"Is something wrong?" Honor asked as soon as they were settled.
Phyllis propped her feet onto a low wicker footstool and watched Arly try to coax Pooch into chasing the soccer ball with her, "It's amazing how coordinated she is. I can't remember now if Terry was that good so young."
"Terry was good at everything," Honor said quietly.
"It seems that way now, doesn't it?" Phyllis sipped her coffee and watched her granddaughter. "And I'm fine. I just overslept."
Honor regarded Phyllis suspiciously. "You never oversleep. Are you sure you're feeling all right?" Now that she looked carefully, Honor noticed that Phyllis had an unusual amount of color in her face that morning. She appeared flushed. "Cough? Sore throat?"
"There's no need to worry, Dr. Blake," Phyllis said with a laugh. "I had a late evening and just forgot to set my alarm."
"Okay," Honor relented. "If you're certain that's all it is."
Phyllis reached across the space between them and fondly squeezed Honor's hand. "I saw Quinn arrive when I was leaving last night. Every time I see her, I like her more."
"So do I."
"Arly's already more than half in love with her."
I
think I might be, too.
As if hearing the unspoken words, Phyllis turned to look into Honor's eyes. "You certainly don't need my permission, nor would I presume to give it. But that young woman has a great deal of feeling for you, and it's a pleasure to see."
Caught off guard, Honor stared at her hands, linking her fingers and resting them in her lap. "She spent the night here last night." She raised her head, met Phyllis's kind gaze. "I haven't wanted...to be with anyone since Terry."
"Then she must be as special as I imagined."
Honor colored, still shaken by the furor of emotions that Quinn stirred in her. "She's very special."
"When are you going to tell Arly?"
"Tell her what?" Honor's voice rose in surprise.
"That you and Quinn care for one another."
"Oh, it's far too soon for that." Honor's words came out in a rush. "We haven't known each other all that long and we've only had a few dates and Quinn could decide that she doesn't want a ready-made family and I'm not even certain that I want anything serio—"
"I wasn't suggesting you tell her that you and Quinn are getting married," Phyllis chided with a laugh. "But you
might
want to tell her that you and Quinn are special friends and that sometimes Quinn might stay for a sleepover."
Honor tried out the word. "A sleepover." She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "God. I didn't expect this kind of complication."
"It seems that more often than not, we never do." Phyllis smiled a secret smile, recalling her own evening. "Do you want me to talk to her?"
"No, I will. I just thought I'd have more time to see...to see about Quinn."
"You know how bright that child is, and she sees everything. It will be easier for her to accept the changes in your life if you let her be a part of whatever happens with you and Quinn."
"I don't know that anything's
going
to change," Honor protested.
"Oh, Honor," Phyllis said tenderly, "it already has."
Before Honor could reply, Arly gave an excited shout. "Quinn!"
"Hey!" Quinn called back. When the child and dog came racing toward her, Quinn knelt down, caught the dog's collar in one hand to forestall a wet tongue in the face, and held out a small yellow rectangular object to Arly with the other. "This is for you for when we go to the zoo today."
"Wow! Thanks!" Arly took the present and then streaked across the yard and up the stairs to her mother. "Look, Mom. Quinn gave me a camera."
Dutifully, Honor made appreciative noises over the disposable automatic camera. "That's terrific, honey. Why don't you go get cleaned up, and we'll leave in a few minutes."
"Okay." After retrieving the gift from her mother, Arly ran into the house.
Honor's pulse raced alarmingly as she observed Quinn, who now leaned against the porch post, a happy grin on her face. She looked casually attractive in a navy blue T-shirt, new jeans, and old Nikes. It was hard for Honor to believe that they'd only been apart a few hours, because the only thing that she wanted to do was pull the shirt from Quinn's jeans and run her hands over the hot, smooth skin beneath.
God, I'm regressing. I don't think I was this bad when I first discovered sex.
"Thank you," Honor said abruptly, struggling to keep her feelings from showing on her face.
"My pleasure. Hi, Phyllis." Quinn hooked her thumbs in her pockets, wondering if Honor really thought she hadn't noticed the way Honor's eyes had traveled over her body. She liked being looked at that way, as long as it was Honor who was doing the looking. It gave her a nice warm feeling, a trickle of arousal in her stomach that wasn't quite enough to make her crazy, but left her feeling unmistakably alive.
"Good morning." Phyllis rose, cup in hand. "It's nice to see you again so soon."
"Thanks. You, too." Quinn grinned. "Did you have a nice evening?"
"Very fine indeed," Phyllis said primly. She patted Quinn's cheek on her way into the house. "And I don't intend to ask how
yours
was."
Honor looked after her mother-in-law and then raised mildly accusing eyes to Quinn. "Don't tell me you two have been discussing our sex life."
Quinn took one quick glance into the kitchen to see that they were alone and then leaned down to kiss Honor on the mouth. "Nope. Just Phyllis's."
"Is
everyone
in my family falling in love with you?" The words were out before Honor realized it. Embarrassed, she hurried to take them back. "Quinn, I didn't mea-—"
"No, don't say anything else." Quinn kissed her again. "It sounded nice just the way it was."
Honor didn't argue, because it
had
felt good to say it. She stood and brushed her fingers over Quinn's chest. "I'm going to collect my daughter. Then let's go play with the animals."
"Why don't you ask Phyllis to come with us?" Quinn called after her..
"I will," Honor answered from the kitchen, touched that Quinn would suggest it.
Falling in love. Is that what this feeling is? Of wanting to be with her, touch her, know her? How is it that I don't know? That I don't remember?
When she found Phyllis and extended the invitation to join them, her mother-in-law thanked her, but said that she intended to do nothing but sit with her feet up all day and read. Then Arly came running downstairs, her new camera in her hand and an enormous smile on her face.
"I'm ready, Mom. Are we going now?"
The swift surge of love was nearly overpowering, and Honor could only nod and smile. Love, it seemed—that critical connection that defied logic or definition-—came in so many forms, none less essential than the others, only different. She took her daughter's hand and walked out onto the porch, extending her other hand to Quinn. "We're ready for our adventure",
Quinn linked her fingers with Honor's. "So am I."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
H onor jumped as the beeper on her waistband vibrated. She glanced at the readout and grimaced.
"Quinn, can you keep an eye on Arly while I find a phone to answer this page? It's the ER "
Quinn turned away from the spectacle of cavorting sea lions, taking in Honor's slight frown of irritation. "I thought you were off today. I don't even have my cell phone."
"I'm
supposed
to be off, so I left
my
cell in the car." Honor shrugged in resignation. "It's probably just some administrative issue and they need me to confirm the official party line. I'll only be a few minutes."
"No problem. We're headed to the monkey house next," Quinn replied. "We'll wait for you there."
Since arriving at the zoo, Quinn and Arly had been busy studying the pictorial map in the color brochure that came with the price of admission and plotting their course around the enclosure.. Honor was amused to discover that her daughter and Quinn shared a very strong sense of order and a love for structure. Left to her own devices, Honor would have wandered in whatever direction her interest led. However, it had rapidly become clear that with Arly and Quinn in charge, this was to be a very systematic safari.
"Yeah, Mom," Arly announced excitedly. "We're going to take pictures of them when they're outside in their...natural habitat." She glanced at Quinn, who gave her a thumbs-up of approval for remembering the new term.
"That's great, honey. I'll be right back." Honor fixed them both with a mock-stern look. "And
don't
get into trouble."
The angelic blond child and the devilishly good-looking dark-haired, blue-eyed woman both grinned, and Honor's heart melted.