She wondered too what Lorna would have thought about it. She was an Ellen type, a carer, a doer. Had she had a wayward sister she would have looked after her no matter what happened.
She could imagine Lorna pointing out the pluses that had come from looking for her birth mother. She would have said Daisy had learned to look beyond herself, found understanding of others’ weaknesses, learned to value her own family, to forgive, and to recognize the true value of honesty. She wasn’t dizzy any more.
On Sunday morning, as Daisy cleaned the house and prepared the lunch, ready for her father’s return from his holiday, Joel was still in the sitting-room, reading the book. He had come straight from the night shift at six that morning, let himself in, and started on it.
It was torment watching him immersed in it. Daisy wanted to ask where he had got to, or what he thought of it so far. Yet she resisted the temptation, for it was important to get his rounded view of the whole story, not just parts of it.
When she heard his step coming down the hall towards the kitchen, she wheeled round. ‘Have you finished it?’ she asked.
He nodded gravely.
‘Well, what do you think?’ she said impatiently.
‘As a policeman I’d say she had more than a few screws missing. But as a man, I feel like crying for her.’
‘Do you?’ Daisy gasped. She hadn’t expected that reaction.
‘Yes, very much so.’ He reached out for Daisy and hugged her tightly, leaning his face down into her neck. ‘If only there had been someone strong there for her when she first met that Mark Kinsale. What an evil bastard he was!’ he said with feeling.
‘But that doesn’t excuse her!’
‘No, it doesn’t,’ Joel said, straightening up and trying to smile. ‘But it’s a lesson to all of us about what can happen to kids when their parents fail them.’
That had been the last thing Daisy had thought before she finally fell asleep after reading the book, and she’d remembered how her mother and father had never given up on her, no matter what she did. She was glad Joel had seen it that way too, and she hoped one day they would be good parents.
‘I know it’s a weird question. But did you get to like Josie?’ she asked. ‘I mean, despite everything.’
‘Yeah, I did,’ he nodded. ‘Troubled, mad, vengeful, whatever, there was something. But it was that note she wrote after you found her that got me. She was admitting then what she was. She could have saved herself by telling you to piss off, but she was trying so hard to do what she saw as the right thing, for Ellen.’
‘She made a pretty good job of it too,’ Daisy said wistfully. ‘She was so interested in me, so admiring and generous too. Of course now, with hindsight, I can see that it wasn’t really right between us. I always wondered why she didn’t talk about when she had me, didn’t shed a few tears, or even tell me about her work at the school. But I believed that she’d cut all that out of her mind after the fire.’
‘Lots of adopted kids can’t really bond with their birth mothers, even when they are both totally truthful,’ Joel said, and his eyes were sad. ‘That’s why I was never enthusiastic about you searching for her in the first place. I was afraid you were trying desperately to replace Lorna.’
‘I never wanted that,’ Daisy said, and stroked his concerned face. ‘If I’m absolutely frank, I didn’t want another mother. It was just the unravelling, the mystery that appealed to me. What a mystery too.’ She sighed. ‘And what do I do with that book now?’
‘Sit on it for a few years,’ he said with a grin. ‘It’s a ripping story in so many ways, it could make a fortune for you. But I guess you’ll have to think what Ellen would have wanted you to do with it. Do you think you know her well enough now to judge?’
‘She’d want it burned,’ Daisy said firmly. ‘She wouldn’t want all that let loose on a sensation-seeking public.’
‘What if it would buy us a nice house like this one?’ he asked, reaching out and caressing her neck.
‘Get thee behind me, Satan!’ she laughed. ‘Besides, it looks as though I might get a few bob when the estate’s wound up anyway.’
All at once she realized she didn’t want to discuss Josie or her book any more. Her troubled soul was laid to rest, that had to be the end of it.
She glanced at Joel, and wondered if he felt the same, for he was just standing leaning against the wall watching her make the gravy with a distant look in his eyes.
‘What is it?’ she said.
‘Father’s still unknown,’ he said suddenly. ‘Any thoughts about searching him out?’
She knew he was probably joking. A joke in bad taste under the circumstances, but she guessed he’d only made it to try to lighten the mood.
‘No,’ she said, and stamped loudly on the floor. ‘I know I’m still pretty dizzy, but not crazy. Knowing that being able to do acrobatics came from him is quite enough. I don’t want to know anything more.’
‘You disappoint me,’ he said in mock seriousness. ‘I always thought you were the most curious girl I’d ever met.’
‘I’m cured,’ she said. ‘I’ve been reborn totally lacking in curiosity.’
‘I thought you might say that,’ he said with a grin. ‘So you don’t want to know what I’ve got in my pocket then?’ He patted his hip temptingly.
‘No,’ she said, but her eyes were glinting. ‘I will not be tempted to ask.’
She went over to him and began kissing him until his arms went round her tightly. Slowly, without him noticing, she lowered her hand to his pocket and she could tell by the hard lump with a curve to the top that it was a small jewellery box. She slid her hand in, grabbed it and pulled it out, breaking away from him and running into the sitting-room.
Joel chased after her. ‘Stop thief!’ he yelled at the top of his voice.
Giggling, Daisy opened the box. As she half expected, it was an engagement ring, a single diamond surrounded by tiny sapphires. ‘Oh, Joel,’ she gasped. ‘How wonderfully old-fashioned and romantic. But you shouldn’t have! We should save our money for getting married.’
Joel took the ring from her and slipped it on to her finger. It fitted perfectly. ‘See what a good detective I’d make,’ he said smugly. ‘Even found out your ring size without you knowing! And I can’t boast you are going to marry me, not without some evidence of intent on your finger.’
‘How did you find out my ring size?’ she asked.
‘You said you’d been reborn without curiosity.’ She heard the sound of her father’s car outside in the street.
‘I lied,’ she laughed. ‘But that still doesn’t mean I want to dig out my trapeze-swinging father. The only dad I want or need is just coming in for his lunch.’
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First published 2002
Copyright © Lesley Pearse, 2002
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ISBN: 978-0-14-192460-1