Favorite Wife (27 page)

The sailor talked amiably to me, telling me that his name was Jake Johnson and that he was stationed at the base in San Diego and was on leave. “I'd take you back myself, but I'm with a busload of friends. The other guys are visiting Mexicali; I was just out walking around when I saw you.”

I felt as though I were drifting in and out of consciousness. When we arrived at the station, Jake practically carried me inside. “Isn't there someone in San Diego who can come for you?” he demanded. “You're in no condition to travel alone, at least not tonight. You should wait and go tomorrow.”

That brought me to full consciousness. “No,” I mumbled. I tightly closed my eyes as I tried to make a decision. Jake was right, I needed help. Suddenly I thought of Charlotte.

Charlotte was in San Diego, and if I could reach her, she would come for me. Finally I said, “Ask directory assistance for Charlotte LeBaron; ask her to come for Susan.”

I watched Jake hurry away. Soon he was back, sitting close to me on the bench. “She'll be here in two hours,” he announced.

Then Jake began to talk, telling me his life story. I only half-listened. His voice was soothing, and I clung to it as I fought back tears. At some time during the narrative he reached out to rub my shoulder. Then he patted my hand. “You're going to be all right,” he encouraged me. I gently pushed his hands away.

“You're married aren't you?” he asked abruptly. Picking up my hand, he looked at my wedding ring. “You're married alright. And you're pregnant. Aren't you?” I quickly pulled my hand away.

“Yes, I'm married,” I snapped. “My husband's out of the country.”

The wounded look that came over Jake's face suddenly made me feel guilty. “I'm—I'm sorry,” I stammered. “I really do appreciate your kindness.”

He stood up. “I'm going to get you a cup of coffee,” he said.

Drinking coffee was strictly against Verlan's principles, but it smelled good and I hoped it would clear my head. The coffee was black, strong and bitter. I gulped it down. The nagging pain in my back was at last beginning to subside. The minutes slowly dragged by as I watched for Charlotte. I was glad she was coming. I knew that Verlan always picked Charlotte up before going on to Ensenada, and this way I would be seeing him sooner than if I'd gone straight there.

An hour went by. Digging in his pocket for more change, Jake made another trip to the coffee machine. “You're looking better,” he said as he hurried back to me. “You had me worried for a while.”

Leaning over me, he held out the cup. “Thank you, Jake,” I smiled up at him, reaching for the coffee. “You've been so nice to me.”

He patted my arm reassuringly. “The U.S. Navy at your service, my dear.” Behind him, I glimpsed Charlotte striding across the station toward us. I quickly stood up.

“Charlotte! Thank you for coming for me. This is Jake. He's the one who called you. Jake, Charlotte.”

“Hello,” she nodded. Her face was set in hard lines, and she grabbed my arm with one hand, my suitcase with the other.

“I'll get that,” Jake offered, reaching for the bag.

“No, thank you, you've done enough,” she snapped, pulling it away from him and guiding me toward the door of the station.

I glanced at him, embarrassed. He ignored Charlotte's tone and hurried after us, carrying my guitar. Charlotte deposited my belongings in the trunk of the gold Chevelle, then opened the door and slammed it closed once I was inside.

She was furious because of Jake, but I didn't care. He had been kind to me, a gentleman in the midst of Babylon. I rolled down the window and called out to him, “Goodbye, Jake Johnson. You're a beautiful, wonderful guardian angel.”

Charlotte's jaw was clamped closed as we drove to the outskirts of town. I knew I needed to explain, to tell her the details of the day so she would understand about Jake, but I wondered at the same time if it would do any good. She had already drawn her own conclusions.

“Charlotte,” I suddenly said, “It's urgent that I see Verlan. When will he be home?”

Her voice was tight. “Well, he's due in tomorrow. I'm sure you're planning to tell him about your friend, right? It's better that you tell him, so that I don't have to. You should be ashamed of yourself! It makes me ill to think that one of Verlan's wives would be carrying on with a complete stranger—a sailor, no less! What a cozy little scene!”

I gaped at her. Sudden fury blurred my sight as I stared at her set face, at the tense way her fingers were gripping the steering wheel. “You don't understand,” I muttered.

“Oh, I'm sure you have a good story. Go on, tell me about you and this Jake guy.”

Rage caused my throat to constrict as I bristled under her accusation. “It's not like you think, at all,” I choked. “Jake only helped me because I was sick. He was a gentleman, and I'll not have you thinking the worst!”

She snorted, then glanced over at me, looking me up and down, “What's the matter with you?”

“It doesn't make any difference,” I snapped. “I'm going to be all right. I just need to see Verlan. I have to talk to him.”

She eyed me curiously. “What's this all about? Is something wrong in Colonia LeBaron?”

I dropped my forehead against the cold windowpane and closed my eyes. “Yes, something's wrong, but I'll save it to tell Verlan,” I said coldly.

Charlotte could think what she wanted. The only thing that mattered was that I would see Verlan tomorrow, before he got to Ensenada. He would be warned about Ervil.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-
T
HREE

T
he threat of miscarriage subsided as I rested on Charlotte's couch the next day. I felt almost normal again, and I watched anxiously for Verlan's arrival. Late in the evening, his pickup finally pulled into the driveway. I sat quietly as he greeted Charlotte, then handed her his bag full of paint-splotched clothes soiled from his work in Las Vegas.

“I'll need those washed the minute we get back from Ensenada,” he ordered. “I didn't have time to go to a . . . ” His eyes widened and he grinned, suddenly noticing me. “Well, hello! What are you doing here? I thought you'd be in Ensenada by now.”

“Susan has something urgent to tell you,” Charlotte cut in.

Verlan looked from one of us to the other, but waited until Charlotte left the room before walking over and slipping his arms around me. Fierce love surged through me as I hugged him back.

Traces of fatigue had darkened his beautiful eyes, and as he smiled down at me, the furrows at the sides of his mouth were deeper than I remembered. He seemed much thinner.

“What's going on, my darling? What's Charlotte talking about?” he questioned.

Keeping my voice low, I said, “Something happened in Colonia LeBaron, Verlan, and it frightened me. I have to talk to you alone.” I glanced at Charlotte in the kitchen. I knew she could hear us. Verlan grabbed my hand and pulled me toward her bedroom.

“We're going to go in here and visit for a few minutes, Charlotte,” he informed her. I ignored Charlotte's stiff back and followed Verlan. “Go on,” he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed and flipped on the lamp.

Quickly and unemotionally, I told him about Ervil and the Mexican man, about the car, and what Ervil said about “taking care of” Verlan in case of any more problems. “He meant it, too,” I shuddered, “I could tell by his tone of voice. It was evil . . . scary. Did you know anything about this? What are you going to do?”

Verlan ignored my questions as he pondered my words. When he turned and faced me, his eyes seemed even more haunted. “I want you to think. Who was the other man?”

I sighed and shook my head. “I couldn't tell. It was too dark, and besides, I was afraid they would see me if I looked around the tank. I've heard his voice before, but I don't know where. All I know for sure is that he's a Mexican who was at the meeting in Ensenada with you two weeks ago.”

Verlan looked thoughtfully away. “That could be any one of two dozen men, now, couldn't it? Too bad you didn't pay more attention. It could be very important.”

I stared at Verlan, shocked. Had he expected me to dash out from cover and walk up to Ervil and his fellow thief for a better look?

“Well,” Verlan shrugged, watching me closely. “I'm not concerned about his threat to me. Ervil talks big—always has. What does worry me is the thing about the car. If he's really up to that kind of mischief, why, he's sicker than I thought. We'll have to get proof and somehow put a stop to it. If we don't, the authorities will tie the whole thing to the church and figure we're all in it together.”

“Verlan! Ervil was not bluffing about having you killed!” I said angrily, wondering how could he be so stupid. “You weren't there—you didn't hear his tone of voice! He scared me, really scared me!”

Verlan cocked his head and regarded me. “How can you think my own brother would be capable of something like murdering me? Don't be ridiculous! Oh, he's power-hungry, and he resents my position in the church. That's his main problem. But he's not cracked enough to actually kill. Now, you stop fretting about it. You're overreacting. You misunderstood the conversation.” Verlan chewed on his lip and shook his head. “About this other thing. I know how his mind works. He's convinced himself and some of the others that it's okay to steal something if it's used to build up the Lord's work. A ridiculous philosophy. He's bound and determined to force God's work ahead regardless. Anyway, you just put this all out of your mind.”

Completely dismayed, I protested, but Verlan waved my words away. “Now, I don't want you to tell a soul about any of this. Hear me? No one! Just forget all about it and trust me to handle Ervil.” As if to himself, he murmured, “I hate the thought of telling Joel about this. Heaven knows he's got enough to worry about.”

As I watched Verlan's face, the layer of ice that had formed around my heart since that night of seeing him with Lillie completely melted away. My husband was suffering, and I hugged him and patted him.

“There's something else I need to talk to you about,” I whispered, trying to smile. Now would be a good time to tell him about the baby. Maybe my news would make him feel better.

He stood up. Kissing me quickly on the forehead, he said, “It'll wait until we get home, won't it? We'd better join Charlotte. Besides, we can talk on the way. I'm in a hurry to get down the peninsula.” I pursed my lips, nodded, and followed him back into the living room.

I sat quietly next to Charlotte on the trip to Ensenada, deep in my own thoughts. The window felt cold against my nose as I stared out at the Baja coastline. The beauty of the sea by moonlight was lost on me, blurred behind a heavy blanket of fog that drifted into my own mind, clouding the events of the past few days. The traumatic incidents seemed unreal, almost like a figment of my imagination.

I longed to know what else Verlan was upset about. Why wouldn't he confide in me! I wondered if his anxiety had anything to do with Ervil. I told myself that I needed to trust him, put this all behind me, and go on with my life. But as we drew closer to the family home in Ensenada, the knot in my throat grew. I knew it was because I was once again faced with the situation of Verlan and the wives—the children, the loneliness, and the new girlfriend. Yet all of that dimmed with the worry of Ervil and his horrible threat, and no amount of reassurance from Verlan would make it go away.

Where would it all lead? What would Ervil's rebellion do to the church? Was Jay right in thinking that Ervil would cause an actual split, that some of our people believed and trusted in Ervil as God's spokesman and would be willing to turn their backs to Joel? I couldn't even imagine it. Joel had inherited the Mantle of God! How could this happen now, when we were so close to Jesus's Second Coming? We were supposed to be united and ready to receive Him. But Satan was at work among us, breaking up the Lord's people, just as it was foretold.

The ride seemed endless. My body still felt battered and bruised from the long bus trip, and the additional miles to Ensenada threatened to again bring on the horrible cramps. I longed to lie down in the quiet of my trailer.

The lights of the big house looked good as we pulled into the yard. I went directly to my trailer and fell into bed. I would see the family in the morning. I snuggled in and tried to push the turbulent thoughts away.

Sooner than I expected, Verlan's heavy step announced his arrival to tell me goodnight. I knew Beverly was waiting to spend the night with him. We would have only a few minutes alone together.

“So, did you miss me, and are you glad to be back home?” he began, lying beside me and pulling up the quilt.

“Verlan, I know you don't want to talk about Ervil, but I'm afraid for you. Afraid he will hurt you.”

Verlan sighed, annoyed. Rising onto his elbow, he looked at me. “Susan, you have to understand. The Lord won't allow anyone to interfere with his plan for us. We are His chosen people. We have a tremendous mission, one that only we can carry out. Ervil is just trying to do what he believes is the Lord's work. He is a little misguided now—that's all. Joel believes he will repent. We're all praying for him.”

He abruptly stood and stretched, and I could tell he was thinking that it was time to be moving on. A slow anger made my temples throb, and I spat, “Why are you covering up for Ervil! Why are you afraid to talk to me about it? I'm your wife, remember? If it were Charlotte, you'd believe her! You'd trust her instincts, and you'd trust her enough to tell her what's upsetting you. But because it's me, and I'm young enough to be your daughter, you pooh-pooh it away—you tell me I'm imagining things. You're not being fair.”

Verlan stared at me, momentarily taken aback. Then an amused look crossed his face, “That's not true, my little charm. No matter who told me those things about Ervil, I would take it with a grain of salt. I know my brother better than you do. He's a good man underneath all the blustering he does. He's a bit misguided, but he's done many good works for the church and God. As for something upsetting me, I'm just tired, that's all. It's been a long and hard two weeks.”

He suddenly grinned. “What's this I detect in your attitude about Charlotte? Are there problems between the two of you?”

I slowly inhaled. I knew I might as well get it over with. “Has Charlotte told you anything about coming to Calexico to get me at the bus station?”

Verlan's grin vanished. “No, not a word. But then, we haven't had a chance to talk. Why didn't you just take the bus to San Diego?”

I sighed and began to explain, telling of my decision to cross the border at Mexicali and about my inability to obtain a visa because of my age. I decided to omit the part about the American Consulate interrogating me, afraid that Verlan would become angry and refuse to let me travel alone again to Colonia LeBaron.

“I was sick—too weak to take care of myself. Then this nice young man happened along and noticed that I was having some difficulty—so he offered to help me get to the bus station. Itwas a good thing, too. I almost passed out before we got there. It was awful. Everything went black. This man—Jake—kept saying that I was too ill to travel alone, and he insisted on calling Charlotte for me. He was kind enough to sit with me until she got there, wasn't that nice of him? Well, Charlotte walked in and saw me with him. She blew up, of course. She naturally thought the worst. She's never said a civil word to me, Verlan, not since the day I married you.”

Verlan was silent, frowning. Finally he said, “You're not telling me something. What made you sick?”

I hesitated, my heart pounding. I had been waiting for this moment for six long weeks. Now it was here, but nothing was as I had planned. The renewed closeness between us had withered again, leaving only a stifling resentment in my heart. But I was beginning to show, and I couldn't put it off forever.

“I'm pregnant,” I said simply.

He sat beside me and took my hand. A growing silence, more eloquent than any amount of words, filled the trailer. I waited, sensing a battle within him. Finally he looked at me. His eyes were shadowed, but his voice was light as he said, “Well now, what do you know. Another baby. When's it due?”

I stared at him. “Another baby? Verlan, in case you'd forgotten, this is my first.”

“Oh, I know that. What I meant was, Lucy told me two weeks ago that she's expecting, too. That'll be two more babies by next winter to add to the family. Let's see . . . that will make twenty-seven, all together.”

Suddenly he grinned and patted me, “So that's why you were sick, huh? I didn't expect you to get pregnant so fast. You're so young. It wouldn't have hurt to have waited for another year, but it's too late to think about that now, isn't it?” He smiled again, broader this time, resigned to the news. Then he leaned over and quickly kissed me. “Zion's certainly growing. Good for you.”

He stood, grabbed his jacket, and stepped toward the door. Then he hesitated and turned, watching me with a strange look in his eyes. “Don't make a habit of turning to other men, Susan.” he finally said. “I'm sure you know that I won't put up with it. You're my wife, and I expect you to behave as such. 'Night, sweetheart.”

After he was gone I huddled in the bed, alone and desolate, crushed beyond belief. My hand went to the tiny lump in my tummy, feeling how hard it was. He's not one bit happy about the baby, I thought dully. It's just one more. Number twenty-seven. My baby is just surplus! Hot tears dropped onto my pillow.

I can't go on, I thought throughout the long night. I'm too weak and selfish to be a woman in the church, to live this way. Oh, is it wrong to need my husband's arms around me, to need the feeling that I'm loved and protected, to want to feel like my child is special?

“Lord,” I suddenly cried out into the stillness of the trailer, “Oh, Lord, I wanted my husband to be excited about our baby!”

I tossed in the bed, suddenly remembering the thoughtfulness and concern the sailor, Jake, had shown me. I remembered the warm feeling of his arm around my shoulders, the caring way he had felt my forehead and rubbed my cold hands. He had truly seemed concerned about my welfare, had treated me as if I were special and important. I had liked the feel of his hands. I tightly closed my eyes, squirming with shame as an unbidden longing swept through me. But I couldn't deny it. I wished Jake were here, his arm around my shoulders, his eyes friendly and gentle.

“Oh, God in Heaven, no, no, I can't think such things,” I groaned, sickened by my own weakness. “I don't want to think about another man—or wish for his presence. It's wrong! Sinful!” Yet, from the back of my mind surged the memory of Lillie with Verlan. How could it be right that Verlan could hold Lillie in his arms without a twinge of guilt? Even as the thoughts stormed inside me, I remembered that it was God's plan. A man was created to have several wives, as Father Abraham had. As King David of old had. All the Old Testament prophets had lived polygamy. It was the supreme test for God's chosen people, an opportunity for growth that the ordinary person didn't have. It was what separated the Christians who were merely saved, from those who actually attained godhood. Loneliness here on earth was a woman's lot, just as having to deal with, and support, many women and children was a man's. It would be different in heaven. I had to believe that.