Fear and Aggression (12 page)

“
Are we in any imminent
danger, Mike?”

“
At our speed, I have a
window of about five minutes for large objects—maybe sixty seconds
for smaller objects. We will have to watch closely until we are
back on our charted course.”

“
Sir, are we heading back
on-course, or back to that planet?” James asked with a degree of
desperation.

Steve did not answer. Kenny looked around as
if to say, “Where am I charting towards?”

“
Do you know what is going
on now, Kenny?” asked Steve.

“
No, still working on it,”
he replied as he turned back to his work.

“
Let’s go back to the
planet,” exclaimed Bob. “We can check it out, and then get back on
track. Rev up the speed a bit, and we’ll be right back to where we
need to be.”

“
We went off about four
hours ago,”stated Kenny. “We’re lucky to be alive. It looks like we
headed into as open of a region as we could have. How close to that
planet did we come, James?”

“
Real close, Kenny—real,
real close—nearly orbit range. We could have easily been
goners.”

“
What happened, Kenny?”
asked Steve.

“
Merick punched in a 9
instead of a 6,” explained Kenny.

“
Let me see that,” Bob
said as he headed towards Kenny. He looked at the readout and
uttered, “oops.”

“
What’s the reverse course
time frame?” asked Steve.

“
I’m working on that now.”
Kenny was the best pilot in the fleet, and he was showing his worth
right now. “It’s not looking good, though.”

“
Fourth dimensional travel
doesn’t work like 3D travel,” Mike started in. “It might take half
an hour to go one way, but to stop, turn around and head back, it
could take weeks. Plus our destination is not exact. We only know
generally when James got the readings.”

“
We are in very open
space, sir. We should be able to set a re-course back towards that
planet. If James’ readings are correct, we may have found exactly
what we are looking for,” Kenny explained.

“
Captain, Kenny’s right.
Even if the planet turns out to be nothing, at least we will have a
safe orbit to re-chart our course and get back to where we are
supposed to be. If there is something there, then we won’t have so
much explaining to do when it gets out that we were this far out of
our way,” said Mike. Mike had Steve’s ear more than anyone else.
James did not have any reason to argue with any of the logic, so he
looked eagerly at the Captain. Bob was careful not to bring any
more attention to himself, so he just sat there and looked
on.

“
Re-chart our course back
to that planet, Kenny.”

“
Yes, sir. There is only
one likely star, and I’ve already got a re-course charted. We can
adjust for planetary orbit as we get closer.”

“
How long?”

“
Less than a day,
sir.”

Roloff sat in his easy chair with a book. He
looked as relaxed and content as possible. In truth, though, he was
longing for Aspiria to return. Caryell had gone to his room, and
was taking a nap. It had been a busy few days, and Roloff was
anxious to relax and unwind with Aspiria. He wanted to take her on
a walk, and enjoy her company and conversation. They had both been
out and walking that day, and he knew that she may come home too
tired for a walk. That was why he was reading. If Aspiria was
tired, then she might at least sit next to him, while he read. Then
he could put the book down, and talk with her. If she came home
with energy, then he could easily suggest that they go on a
walk.

The book was not engaging him, and his mind
frequently wandered. A portrait of Aspiria kept catching his eye.
She was always beautiful, but in this portrait, her beauty had been
captured to perfection. Aspiria had the unique quality of being
both an early and late bloomer. She was pretty and attractive as a
young girl—the prettiest of all the young girls her age—but, she
had grown more beautiful over time. Roloff believed that this was a
fact, and not merely the opinion of the man who loved her then, and
loved her even more now. In addition to her physical beauty, she
had a grace and a way that she carried herself that seemed to grow
in charm as the years went by. She was as a dark red rose that was
beautiful and perfect before it opened. Then, as it opened, its
beauty and features continued to unfold and increase. Aspiria
charmed everyone she met, man, woman, and child. Her beauty was not
merely his opinion, it was apparent to him, and to everyone she
knew.

Aspiria had grown up poor, but not
excessively so. Her father was hard-working, and her mother was a
charmer, also. They farmed, and Aspiria was comfortable working on
it. Aspiria was the youngest of four children, the older three
being boys. The boys were hard-working and good students. Each of
them left the country as they completed their schooling, and went
to the city. They were successful in their careers, and would
occasionally send some money their parents’ way. But Aspiria did
not have much in the way of fancy clothing, or entertainment. She,
however, never considered herself unfortunate. Roloff had known her
oldest brother from school. They were not close friends, but were
good acquaintances. Aspiria had not caught his eye when he was in
school—she was too young—but later he would see her occasionally in
town, and she began to attract his attention. When he became aware
of some of her families struggles, he offered to help. The youngest
boy was getting set to leave home, and Aspiria, with her mother and
father alone, would struggle to keep up with the farm.

Roloff had good opportunities, but saw to it
that he could help her family on the farm. It was likely that he
would have done this anyway, even if a beautiful young woman would
not have been there. But it didn’t hurt his urgency and motivation.
He spent hours each week on the farm, earning a meager wage. He
often ate dinner with Aspiria and her parents. There was not much
time for flirting and courting during the work, but their love for
each other grew and grew. Almost in unison, both of Aspiria’s
parents’ health began to fade. Aspiria took to more and more
nursing and Roloff took on more of the farming duties. His other
occupations were suffering, and it was too much work for one man
alone.

Aspiria, one day, came out to where he was
working. She brought him a fruit drink, and they sat down to talk.
She told him how much all that he did for her family meant to her.
She knew that he was suffering in his other endeavors. She clearly
did not have a plan for herself, or her parents, but she loved
Roloff, and wanted the best for him. She told him that she did not
know how they would continue to pay him. Aspiria was beginning to
take over her parent’s finances, and was only recently aware of the
meager salary that Roloff was receiving.

Roloff inquired about her parent’s
condition. Aspiria began to talk, and as she did, she shed a few
tears, though her emotions were never completely unchecked. Roloff
gently brought his hand to her cheek and wiped away a tear. He had
never touched Aspiria before. Aspiria was conscious of this, and
was briefly taken aback. Roloff noticed that this had affected her.
His love for her burned within him. He reached down to hold her
hand, which she made available to him. They held hands, and she
talked. They looked at each other, as only those who are deeply in
love with each other do. Roloff asked if he could take her on a
walk that evening, after her parents had retired. Aspiria was
slightly taken back again, and hesitated, not knowing how to
respond. Yet her love and confidence grew as she looked into
Roloff’s eyes. She felt safe, loved, and protected by him. He told
her that he would not have dinner with her this evening, but that
he would return at 7:30 to take her on a walk.

Aspiria had been accustomed to attention by
young men. Whether at church, community socials, dances, or just on
visits into town, she had been shown interest by nearly all the
young men in town. She was only kept from more social activity by
the labors of her family farm. She was neither awkward nor
uncomfortable in the company of the young men. But with Roloff, it
was not the flirtation of a young man. She felt a deep love from
him, and she shared that love in return. Until this afternoon, it
had been left unexpressed. But touching her cheek, and hands, and
asking her on an evening walk, brought her feelings to the surface.
She had a number of duties to perform that evening, but she also
wanted to look her best. She fretted, perhaps for the first time,
about what her wardrobe held. Roloff had seen her in most of her
outfits either at the farm, or at church. She settled on a simple
pretty blue dress that she could also wear appropriate shoes for
walking. She spent some time on her hair, and put in a beautiful
blue flower.

Roloff showed up promptly at the door. He
carried a bouquet of red flowers. He too, had spent some time on
his appearance. As she presented herself, she could tell that he
approved, thoroughly approved. It was Roloff now that was taken
aback by the impression her beauty made on him. She asked him in,
and explained that she had a few things left to attend to for her
parents. They really were not well, and she was concerned about
leaving them for the evening, but she did not share this with
Roloff. He sat down, and then got up and wandered around. He had
been in the home nearly every day for months, and had become
accustomed to eating dinner here regularly. But, somehow, he felt a
little awkward and uncomfortable, waiting for her for this date;
his first date with Aspiria.

She returned within ten minutes, and smiled
that she was ready. Again, he was taken aback, and felt that he was
looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. They walked, at
first side by side without holding hands. The conversation was more
choppy and awkward than it had ever been between the two of them.
They both settled momentarily and Roloff took Aspiria’s hand. She
was no longer uncomfortable with his touch. They walked in the
direction of a small hill, not far from Aspiria’s farm. The top
provided a nice look out, with a beautiful view of the city in the
distance. Roloff sometimes came here on his own, when he wanted
time to ponder, and was looking for inspiration. As they reached
the top, Roloff was relieved that they were alone. Dusk had begun,
but they could still see the city, with a gorgeous sunset on the
horizon. Roloff told Aspiria of some of his adventures in the city.
Aspiria laughed. She had a beautiful laugh. Had he ever heard her
laugh before? He longed for something to say to evoke more
laughter, but it wouldn’t come. Still, she was smiling, and he was
melting inside. They had not stopped holding hands. Roloff reached
for her other hand and she gave it to him. The breeze blew softly,
and her long, dark brown hair moved gently in the breeze.

“
I love you, Aspiria,” was
all he said. Neither he, nor she said anything for quite some time.
The sun was setting, and the breeze brought a slight chill to the
air. Roloff put his arm around her shoulder, and brought Aspiria
in. They looked at the sunset, and the fading image of the city off
in the distance.

“
I should be very happy,
if you would marry me, Aspiria. I would be happy to live with you
and your parents and take care of the farm.” Roloff had no thought
of taking her from her parents in this time of need.

Aspiria let the words distill upon her. She
did not feel any inclination to utter her thoughts verbally. She
had accepted his offer in her heart, and that was all that mattered
to her. She felt close to Roloff, physically, emotionally and
spiritually. She had no plan when she had gone to him this
afternoon on the farm. Yet, somehow, everything at this moment felt
like it was according to plan. It felt right, and she felt joy
swelling within her. She did not utter any words, but leaned her
head back on his shoulder. She began to dream of their life
together, and of the family that they would raise. It was nearly
completely dark. Stars had begun to make their entrance on the
clear night sky. Both sets of eyes moved slowly from the horizon to
the star sprinkled sky.

“
You shall be the perfect
father, Roloff,” she said sweetly, and dreamily. She looked at him,
and smiled more prettily than ever before. Roloff smiled
too.

“
Then we are to be
married, Aspiria?”

Once again, she did not answer immediately.
She had forgotten that she had not yet answered him. But she peered
into his loving eyes, with her loving eyes. “Yes, we are my
love!”

Roloff leaned in and gave her a soft, gentle
kiss. They held each other and watched the stars. A shooting star
came across the sky. They looked at each other as if to ask if the
other had seen it, but instead kissed again. It was dark, and a
little brisk. They held hands and walked back towards Aspiria’s
farm.

Roloff’s book had become an afterthought as
he lingered on this sweet memory. Aspiria walked in the door. She
was even more beautiful now than she was then.

“
Ah, dear, how are
you?”

“
I am well,” Aspiria said
as she walked over to the couch and sat beside Roloff. She leaned
up close and laid her head on his shoulder, as they held hands
instinctively.

“
Are you
tired?”

“
No, I’ve walked a bit
today. I’m ready to get off my feet for a few minutes. Is Caryell
home?”