Feast of Saints (19 page)

Jake stilled immediately. Retreating, he moved the hand that had been stroking her sex to her behind, but kept his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her pressed against his unrelenting erection. His breathing was ragged.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her face buried in his chest. Guiltily, Lilly realized that she had been the one to elevate the situation to the level of imminent sex by practically ripping off his clothes. He’d started it, yes, but only with his kiss. She had escalated it.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea.” She meant trying to have sex with him here, miles from anywhere, but as the words came out of her mouth, she knew it sounded like she was rejecting him. As her instinct for self-preservation returned slowly, her stomach twisted with an unsettling feeling of dread that overrode her stabbing desire. Sex with Jake was not going to make things more comfortable for her at work. She chose not to correct the impression her words gave.

“Alright,” Jake said quietly. He relaxed his hold on her and gently pushed her away. “I’m just going to stretch my legs. I won’t be far.”

With him out of the tent, she dressed and tried to rationally think through what had just happened, but each time she did, all she could feel was longing. Pressing her thighs together, hard, she tried willing away the throbbing ache. When it wouldn’t subside, she finally just made her mind go blank.

Jake stayed out of the tent at least a half hour. Lilly was practically catatonic, trying to control her emotional and sexual turmoil, when she heard the purr of the gently pulled zipper, Jake obviously trying not to wake her.

Rather than pretend sleep, she just silently watched as he got in the tent. Just as she had seen him staring at her last night, she was sure he could see the reflection of the moonlight in her gaze and would know she was awake. He didn’t say anything as he folded himself into his sleeping bag, zipped it up and laid down.

Lilly watched his profile. Tomorrow we’ll hike out of here, and it’s back to work next week, she thought. Day after unrelenting day unfolded in her mind. Her touching his face, his back, his chest, his hands and feet. Just thinking it caused the stabbing desire to return. What if he had been the one to reject her? She could never have faced him again.

She reached over and slipped her little hand under his folded ones on his chest.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” Jake turned just his head to look at her face in the moonlit tent.

“Just not yet, and definitely not here.” Trying for a lighter mood, she said, “I’m already afraid I’m not going to be able to walk out of here tomorrow, and I think sex with you is going to be… physically challenging.”

To her surprise, Jake laughed and pulled her against him, wrapping an arm under her. “Okay, Pixie.”

Their relationship had done a one-eighty at the speed of light, and she’d all but promised to have sex with him at some vague time in the future. With a small smile, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 15

When Lilly awoke, the sun was bright, and she could hear Jake moving around outside. She could tell by the sun’s sparkle through the nylon and the steamy warmth of the tent that the morning was well under way. Rather than hopping out of bed – or sleeping bag – she stalled. Truthfully, she wasn’t quite ready to face Jake yet. She felt shy and unsure of herself.

She wondered what exactly had happened last night. That is, she recalled exactly what they had done and said, but she didn’t know what it meant.

She was pretty sure Jake was still seeing Sierra Nighly. She had seen them together at the opening night if Tyler’s
Sound of Music
production and Sierra was one of the few people on Jake’s standing “to be admitted” list at the studio.

She did not find the idea of a casual affair appealing. To Lilly, sleeping together was something reserved for a steady boyfriend, a potential marriage partner.

Even if he were unattached, it wasn’t like she and Jake could date. Maybe if she didn’t work so closely with him all day. Or work for him. She had learned from watching others that dating in the workplace usually ended with one person, invariably the woman, quitting.

What if they had a fight? It’s not like she could just take a break from him for a day or two. What if he didn’t like her all that much once he got to know her better, or got tired of her? She’d still have to work with him, touch him, every day.

With a strong feeling that she was going to end up a loser in this relationship, or whatever it was about to become, she started having second thoughts in earnest. In all her scrapes growing up, she’d finally learned to stop trying to tackle the bigger, more powerful girl or guy, and to avoid trouble before it started. In her later teens and college years, she developed a highly tuned sense for trouble brewing, and that sense was spinning off the chart now. She suddenly felt fearfully sick that she had set herself up for failure, emotionally and professionally.

In a fit of self-preservation, a flood of practical reasons came to her why she should not complicate her working relationship with Jake by sleeping with him. There was the perception of favoritism that would embarrass her with her colleagues. There was the fact that he was a celebrity, and by dating him she would be inviting the public to scrutinize her, her family. Then there was her grueling schedule. She really didn’t have time for a boyfriend.

Jake smiled warmly at her when she got out of the tent. Biting her lip, she gave him a tight smile, grabbed her toiletries and slipped into the woods. Stretching her ankle, she was relieved to feel the stiffness work its way out. She thought she’d be okay hiking out. When she returned, Jake had taken down the tent and was stuffing the ground sheet in his pack.

“There’s tea,” he said, glancing at her and indicating the log where there was more than just tea.

Lilly sat on the log next to the buffet he had laid out for her. There was hot oatmeal, a breakfast bar, an apple and a steaming cup of tea. “Thanks,” she said, feeling uncomfortable sitting while he did all the work. She was so used to bustling around him while he sat, the role reversal was disconcerting. Munching on the breakfast, she looked around, everywhere but at Jake, who was putting all of the heavy gear in his backpack.

Finished packing, Jake came to squat in front of her. “How’s your ankle?” he asked. Reaching for her leg, he eased it out of her loosely tied boot and gently examined her.

“It’s fine,” she said, pulling her leg away from him abruptly. She wiggled her foot in the air to demonstrate her wellbeing and stuffed her foot back into her boot. To avoid his gaze, she leaned over to tighten up her laces. She took her time, hoping he’d get up and move away from her. Jake stayed put, waiting for her to look at him. Lilly felt nervousness steal over her. Hugging her knees to keep them still, she finally peered up at him, struggling to find something to say that would reestablish some distance between them. Jake’s eyes narrowed at her tense expression, focusing on her trembling lips.

Uncertain and apologetic, she started, “Jake, about yesterday, last night.…”

At her words, shutters went down on his expression.

She continued, going for a professional tone, “I shouldn’t have unburdened myself like that.” She skipped over what else had happened. “I think… I know I’ve found my groove. It’s not going to be…”
unbearable
, she almost said… “too much work from here on out.”

Trying for a lighter tone, she smiled, “Being almost eaten by a bear puts things in perspective, you know?” At his hardening expression, she said, “I’ll be fine. Really.”

Not giving him a chance to contradict her, she gathered up and stashed the trash from her breakfast and grabbed her pack. She didn’t wait for him as she headed down the mountain trail.

The next few hours passed in silence punctuated only by footsteps. After one hour, her ankle started throbbing again in time to every down step. She tried regulating her breathing, which helped for a half hour or so, until real pain started to break through.

To keep herself from panting, she whispered meditative chants from her yoga class, struggling to breathe deep and easy. Sweat broke out on her face despite the cool air.

When she finally rounded a bend and caught a glimpse of the gray of the gravel parking lot at the trailhead a mile below, she sighed with relief. Stopping for a second, she heard Jake come up behind her. She started off again as soon as she saw him out of the corner of her eye.

Pain shot up her leg at her first step, causing her to stumble dangerously close to the steep edge of the trail.

“Lilly!” Jake shouted in warning.

Grabbing her sleeve, Jake pulled her back from the edge and then turned her around and took in her sweat-drenched face.

Pulling out his cell phone, he texted Wil. Wil immediately texted back. He was waiting for them in the parking lot.

Shrugging out of his pack, and pulling hers off of her, he leaned down and unlaced the boot on her injured ankle, pulled it out and inspected it.

“Goddammit, Lilly,” he bit out. He unlaced the other boot and removed it too, setting them by the packs. Without asking, he scooped her up and started down the trail.

“Put me down!” she demanded.

“That stuff’s expensive,” she protested, pointing back over his shoulder at her pack and boots.

Jake, his jaw clenched, said, “Wil’s coming for them.”

“Well, put me down anyway.” When Jake kept walking, she tried to reason with him, “Jake, you can’t carry me for a mile. It’s dangerous.”

Jake stopped and looked at her, his face close to hers. “You have two choices,” he said. “I can carry you like the stubborn child that you apparently are, or you can climb on my back. You’re not walking any farther on that ankle.”

“I’m fine. Put me down.”

“No.” He started off again. The trail was steep and narrow. Holding her like this, he could easily trip and fall, and they’d both go down the side of the mountain.

“Fine,” she finally said. “Put me down and I’ll piggy-back.”

More gently than she would have thought him capable of in this mood, Jake set her down and stepped to squat in front of her. Lilly felt ten years old as she scrambled onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist. Jake stood in a fluid move and started off again, his breathing regular. She consoled herself by thinking that she probably didn’t weigh much more than the pack he’d packed for himself this morning. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she watched the last mile of trail slip by in front of them.

“Thank you,” she finally said, realizing she really might have hurt herself if she’d continued to be so stubborn.

“You’re welcome,” he said, with a touch of sarcasm.

Halfway down, they met Wil coming up the trail. Wil looked questioningly at Jake, piggybacking Lilly off of the mountain.

Jake didn’t bother to explain, saying only, “About a half mile up. Leave what you can’t carry safely.” Wil nodded and edged past them on the narrow trail.

Starting off again, Jake said to Lilly, “I’ll replace what gets left behind.”

“Oh, no. It’s okay.” She didn’t want him to think her ungrateful or petty about the gear left behind. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes. I do.” Then, after a moment, “Maybe you were right. Maybe things wouldn’t have gone so… badly if I hadn’t insisted on coming with you on this trip. It’s the least I can do.”

Jake’s real meaning wasn’t lost on her. He was letting her off the hook. Not wanting to argue with him further or confuse the situation when it looked like they might be getting back on track, she didn’t contradict him. But, still feeling ungracious and trying to unburden herself of the feeling, she said, “I just want the boots. Can you text Wil, and ask him just to get the boots?”

Jake surprised her by pulling her own phone out of his front shirt pocket and handing it back over his shoulder to her. He must have grabbed it from her pack. Holding on to Jake with one arm, she turned on her phone with her free hand then handed it to him to punch in Wil’s number. As the phone powered up, the first thing she saw, which Jake could easily read too, was a text from Mike.

“Pick u up Lk Jen trlhead. Crashing w me 2nit?” the text read.

Silently, Jake handed her back her phone and recited Wil’s number so that she could tell Wil herself what she wanted.

Jake carried her all the way to the parking lot and squatted down to let her off beside the SUV. Standing, they both heard the crunch of the wheels of an arriving car.

Mike parked his beat-up Jeep next to the Explorer and hopped out.

“Hey Tiny, how’s it hangin’?” Surprise registered on his face as he took a closer look at her companion. “Wow. Jake Durant. Cool! I love your movies, man,” he said enthusiastically, sticking out his hand.

Jake, who was usually gracious with fans, looked coolly at Mike. For a moment, Lilly thought uncomfortably that Jake was going to refuse to accept Mike’s hand, and then when he did take it, she wished he hadn’t. Alarmed, she registered a shade of Allegrezza in his expression. Mike, oblivious to the tension, pumped Jake’s arm enthusiastically, while Lilly watched Jake warily.

When Jake didn’t break the handshake at a normal interval, Mike finally picked up on the tension. His grin faltering, he tugged his hand out of Jake’s firm grasp and looked from Jake to Lilly.

“Everything okay, here, Tiny?”

Lilly had never met a more free-spirited person than Mike. It could be annoying sometimes, like when he showed up with six new friends in tow to a private dinner party, but being mean to Mike was like kicking a puppy. Lilly glared at Jake, who turned to glare right back at her.

“I’m taking you to get that ankle looked at,” said Jake.

“No, you’re not. It’s fine. A little ice and it will be fine.”

Mike looked down at her bootless feet. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you about it later,” she said. Deciding formal introductions were definitely not in order, she tugged on Mike’s arm as she hobbled over to the Jeep and perched on the bumper to wait for Wil.

Jake stomped off to the trail, Mike gaping after him. “What’s with that guy?”

“It’s been a long two days,” was all she could say. Feeling stupid and humiliated, she blinked away tears and stared off across Jenny Lake.

Twenty minutes later, Jake returned, carrying her pack and his, with an out of breath Wil trailing behind him carrying her boots. Opening the hatch on the Explorer, Jake emptied the packs. Leaving the camping gear in the Explorer, he repacked her pack with her personal items—wallet, extra clothes, toiletries—and carried it over, dropping it in the back seat of Mike’s open topped Jeep. Stopping in front of Mike, he stuck out his hand. Mike stood and took Jake’s proffered hand reluctantly.

With a firm shake and a stern sideways look at Lilly, Jake said to Mike, “Take her for an X-ray. Don’t take no for an answer.” He turned toward the Explorer. Over his shoulder to her, he said, “I’ll see you in LA.”

Lilly let Mike drive her to the urgent care center on the edge of Jackson Hole. While they waited for the X-ray technician, she apologized to Mike for ruining his morning off. Mike turned to her, not mincing words, “So, what’s with the scary actor dude? I thought he was going to rip my arm off this morning. Is that an act, or is he psycho?”

“He’s okay,” she said hesitantly, not really sure.

“How long is this gig gonna last, Lilly?”

“I don’t know. We’re supposed to do the bulk of the remaining studio shots when we get back to LA, and then there are a few weeks on location in Italy, New York and Hawaii. Then editing starts, although I won’t be called in for that unless reshoots are necessary. This is my first rodeo with a major studio picture like this, but I’m guessing two or three more months.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know. I seem to keep falling into things. I’ve been so busy since starting this job, I haven’t even seriously considered the other offers. I’ve seen them come through but haven’t had time to think about what I can do schedule-wise. I think I may need to hire an agent.”

“Got anyone in mind?” Mike asked with obvious interest.

Mike was a great buddy to hang with, but his work ethic was a bit sketchy. She couldn’t imagine depending on him to organize her business. Quickly, she added, “This guy Phillip, who runs Mjicon for Jake, handles all kinds of talent. They’ve got a whole department devoted to managing folks who do what I do.”

In fact, when Phillip had sent her the contract for
Feast
, he had done a soft sell job on the benefits of signing a long-term, open-ended contract with Mjicon, talking about all the agency had to offer, including managing her schedule and providing health insurance. At the time, she’d felt intimidated by the work ahead of her designing Jake’s character. She had put off making such an important decision about her future.

“Nothing broken,” the nurse said after calling them back to the examining room. “You need to take it easy, though, for at least a week. Elevate it as much as possible to keep the swelling down.”

She nodded obediently, knowing that that was going to be impossible. The nurse gave her a few pain pills and a prescription for crutches that she knew she wouldn’t fill. Mike insisted on wheeling her out to the Jeep in a wheelchair, although for him it was as much an excuse to do wheelies in the parking lot as to keep her off her feet. Laughing, and too tired to protest, Lilly let him zoom her around before depositing her into the Jeep.