Jane’s expression epitomized innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”
A frown puckered her brows. “Rick Martin found my work on the blog, right?”
“Of course.”
“Jane.”
The redhead released a heavy breath. “Fine. No.”
“No what?”
“Rick didn’t discover your work on the blog, hon. Your work found him.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m the one who gave Rick your photographs.”
Surprise jolted through her. “What? How’s that possible? How did you even get—” Jen’s breath hitched. “Cash.”
Jane scrupulously studied the label of the tequila bottle.
“Cash gave you my photographs, didn’t he?” Jen demanded.
The other woman lifted her head and offered a sheepish shrug. “He brought over a memory stick with your stuff on it the day of Sadie’s party.”
“He did?” She had no idea whether to be angry at Cash for invading her privacy or thrilled that he had.
“Don’t be mad at him,” Jane said quickly. “He had good intentions, hon. He said you weren’t planning on submitting work to any of the bigger magazines, but he thought you were too talented not to. He made me promise not to tell you.”
“Why?”
“He didn’t want you to think he was interfering in your career. And if
TW
was interested, he wanted you to think you’d done it on your own. But I think trying to keep it a secret was silly,” Jane said with a shrug.
“He went to great lengths to make this opportunity happen for you, and I think you deserve to know that.”
Jen’s heart constricted. As annoying it was that Cash had copied her pictures without her consent, his intentions had been anything but malicious. Hell, he clearly knew her better than she’d thought. She’d been second-guessing herself with that portfolio for days—obviously he’d decided to speed up the process.
And now, thanks to Cash, she might land a job with a magazine she’d never have dreamed of showing her work to out of fear she’d be laughed out of the prestigious building.
But Cash had believed she could do it. He’d believed in her from day one.
“I might be in the minority here, but I’m pretty sure Hot Stuff is in love with you,” Savannah said with a grin. “Like big-time in love.”
The other women nodded fervently.
“Oh yeah,” Annabelle agreed. “A man doesn’t take on the task of personally getting a girl her dream job if he doesn’t love her.”
Jen felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her. She wasn’t surprised to hear everyone’s assessment of Cash’s feelings—she already suspected how he felt. No, what startled her was the multitude of emotions swirling in her chest. She’d been trying so hard to keep an emotional distance, but who was she kidding? Her emotions had entered the picture a long time ago.
She was in love with Cash.
Her heart felt both lighter and heavier as she absorbed the truth. She loved Cash. She loved his gruff voice and toe-curling kisses and rough hands. She loved his strength and unceasing support and the way he laughed. She loved that he didn’t mind the way she stuck Post-its all over his apartment, how he grumbled every time she forgot to hang up her towel in the bathroom, his willingness to cook every time she burned something in the kitchen.
From the moment they’d met, Cash had accepted her for who she was. Supported her. Encouraged her. Introduced her to passion she’d never known.
And she knew now, without a shred of doubt, that even one day with Cash McCoy would be worth however many months without him.
“Holy shit,” she mumbled.
From her cross-legged perch on the floor, Annabelle chuckled. “You love him too.”
Jen shook her head to clear the fog from it. “Yeah, I think I do.” Amazement trickled through her. “How did that happen?”
“Love has a way of sneaking up on you.” Smiling, Savannah swiped a tortilla chip from the bowl on the coffee table and popped it in her mouth. “Same thing happened to me with Matt.”
“I wanted a casual fling. I never expected… I didn’t want to fall in love with him,” Jen said softly.
Annabelle frowned. “Why not? Cash is a great guy.”
“I know, but…” She hesitated, not wanting to talk about her military issues with a roomful of military wives and girlfriends. “I’m just blindsided, I guess. I don’t know what this means for us. I went in looking for a fling, and now…”
“I tried to have a fling once,” Holly spoke up in a faraway tone. “When Carson and I met, all I wanted was to have some fun, but that stubborn brother of yours, Jen, well, he convinced me to give a relationship a shot. And now it’s five years later, and look at us.”
Jen swallowed. “Hol—”
“Sometimes I wonder if I should have dug my heels in and left it as a fling.” Tears welled up in Holly’s alcohol-glazed eyes. “But I know that if I could do it again, I’d make the same damn decision.” She wiped her eyes with the vicious swipe of her hand. “Because no matter how infuriating he can be, I know he’s the love of my life.”
“All right. The kids are asleep and I’m ready to rob you losers of all your money,” John Garrett announced, striding into the spacious den with a baby monitor in his hand.
The den was packed with SEALs, beers and open wallets. Poker night was a twice-monthly tradition, hosted at a different house each time, and Cash looked forward to these gatherings. His teammates were damn good men. Good company too, and he felt honored to be included in what had been a tradition long before he’d come on board. Aidan Rhodes was also a recent addition to poker night, but he’d already been close to most of the guys thanks to his tight-knit friendship with O’Connor.
Sitting down, Garrett tossed the baby monitor to Becker, who placed it on the green felt poker table. “The girls went down okay?” the lieutenant commander asked.
Garrett nodded. “Fell asleep holding hands. It was pretty fucking adorable.”
On the other side of the table, Seth snorted. “You know, just ’cause you put the word
fucking
in front of it doesn’t make you less of a pansy for saying the word
adorable
.”
Garrett rolled his eyes. “A man thinking his kid is adorable doesn’t make him a pansy, Masterson. You’ll find that out one of these days.”
“Never,” Seth vowed. “No kids for me, thank you very much. I’m getting my tubes tied.”
The other men laughed, Cash included. Seth’s pessimistic position about children was nothing new; the man was adamant about never siring a child. Which was probably a good thing, because the thought of a little mini-Seth with big-Seth’s smart mouth was kinda terrifying.
“Where the fuck is Carson?” Garrett suddenly asked. “He’s late.”
Cash averted his eyes, but nobody glanced his way, which told him that Carson hadn’t blabbed about what went down in Becker’s hallway over the weekend. Thank God, because the last thing he felt like doing was justifying his feelings for Jen to anyone else.
“Well, we’re not waiting for him anymore,” Ryan announced, reaching for the deck of cards. “I, for one, am ready to milk Texas for all he’s worth.”
“Why do you assholes always target me?” Jackson demanded.
“Because your poker face sucks,” Matt drawled as he took a sip of his beer. “So does McCoy’s. You two are easy money.”
The banter continued as Ryan dealt the first hand. Jackson, of course, tried bluffing his way into the pot, only to lose five bucks when Ryan and Aidan suckered him into going all in. Laughter ensued, followed by Jackson’s grumbling that his poker face had yet again failed him.
As money changed hands and chips clinked in the center of the table, Cash sipped his beer, his thoughts drifting to Jen. As much as he liked hanging out with the boys, he kinda wished she were here too. He’d grown accustomed to her company over the past two weeks. Not just having sex with her, but simply having her around. Watching TV while she messed around with her camera, cooking dinner while she worked on her laptop. He liked how they could be in the same room and not have to be wrapped all over each other.
Other girls he’d dated expected him to sit there holding their hands and constantly make conversation, but Jen was perfectly content doing her own thing while he did his. She didn’t push for them to be joined at the hip, or make demands of him. She was happy no matter what they were doing, and he appreciated that.
“I swear, if Shelby comes home as drunk as she did last time, I’m divorcing her,” Garrett was saying. “I’m beginning to dread the words
girls’ night
.”
Cash lifted his head. “They don’t get that drunk, do they?” he said with a frown.
Ryan joined the conversation with a groan. “Last time, I spent the entire night holding Annabelle’s hair while she puked out ten gallons of tequila.”
“Hey, I love girls’ night,” Matt argued. “Savannah did the dirtiest striptease for me last time, but then again, my girl’s better at handling her liquor than your pansy ladies.”
Becker suddenly growled, jabbing a finger at O’Connor. “Don’t get me started on Savannah. She and Jane went shopping last week and I got a credit card bill for six hundred dollars. Six hundred dollars worth of lingerie, for chrissake.”
“Oh come on. Like you didn’t benefit from that shopping trip.”
“I certainly did not,” Becker said stiffly.
“I call bullshit. After Savannah modeled what she’d bought, I didn’t let her leave the bed for a week. And Savannah told me she and Jane made identical purchases.” Matt cocked a brow. “Did Jane get that lacy black mesh thing with the garter belt?”
“No,” Becker muttered.
“No?”
The lieutenant commander sighed. “She got it in red.”
As everyone laughed, Cash experienced the most bizarre pang of envy. He found himself wishing that he could contribute to the conversation. Not that he wanted to talk about what kind of lingerie Jen wore, but the idea of calling her his “girl” and sharing stories appealed to him.
Man, he really had it bad.
“All right, enough with the chick talk,” Seth announced. “I feel like I’m at a teenage girl’s slumber party.”
Ryan shuffled the deck, but before he could deal a fresh hand, they were interrupted by the arrival of Carson.
The room fell silent.
“Wow,” Dylan remarked. “You look like shit, LT.”
Cash wholly concurred. In fact, he’d never seen Carson look so…
wrecked
. Clad in faded jeans and a T-shirt boasting several holes, jaw covered in stubble, blond hair tousled as if he’d repeatedly run his fingers through it. And his expression reflected nothing but sheer misery.
“Sit down,” Garrett said quietly. “I’ll grab you a beer.”
“In a minute,” Carson said in a tired voice. His blue eyes shifted to Cash. “McCoy, a word?”
With a nod, Cash stood up, ignoring the bewildered looks he received from the others. He followed Carson out of the den, and they headed toward Garrett and Shelby’s kitchen, where Carson made a beeline for the sliding door leading to the backyard. The night air was balmy when they stepped outside.
Carson dropped into a wicker chair and pointed to the chair across from him. “Sit.”
Cash sat, then waited.
After several long moments, Carson cleared his throat. “How’s the lip?”
“It’s fine.”
A pained look flashed across the other man’s face. “I shouldn’t have slugged you like that.”
Cash sighed. “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t do worse.”
Carson rubbed the stubble coating his chin in a gesture of pure frustration. “Holly’s staying with her sister again.”
“Aw, fuck. I’m sorry, man.” Cash had never seen Carson look so dejected, so beaten, and his heart went out to the guy.
“Look, about that woman you and Jenny saw me with,” Carson started.
“You don’t have to explain. It’s none of our business.”
“Her name’s Angel Whittaker. She’s…ah, the therapist I’ve been seeing.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I started seeing her a month or two before we got deployed.” Carson hung his head. “Holly and I were having problems then too. And once we got back, things just got worse, so I called Angel. She was on vacation, but I convinced her to meet me for coffee so we could talk about…you know, about everything.”
“Is she helping?”
“Not really, but I’ve realized that’s because I was talking to the wrong person. I
should
have been talking to my wife instead of babbling on to some stranger about how much things suck. Angel told me I wouldn’t fix anything unless I start openly communicating with Holly. Jenny said the same thing, but idiot that I am, I’m going around thinking everything will fix itself, or that having a baby might make things better. I’m an asshole, huh?”
“You’re not an asshole. Well, not all of the time.”
Carson flashed a dry grin. “Thanks.”
“So what now?” Cash asked.
“Now I try to convince my wife how much I fucking love her. I know it’s tough for her, with me gone for long periods of time, but it’s tough for me too. I love that woman to death and I don’t care if we have ten kids or no kids. I just want Holly.”