Fight For My Heart (17 page)

“Idiot I can’t fly because the altitude isn’t good for the baby, not because I take up too much room, you wench.” I roll my eyes, then my body so I can stand up from my seat on the floor.
“Sorry shit, I’m not pregnant I wouldn’t know. Geesh.” She stands as well and we walk to the kitchen. “So, I’m hungry, what would you like to eat? Hmm…” She digs through the fridge to find something to cook. Did I mention I love that she can make damn near anything? Ahh the good life.

“I want pasta, chicken pasta, with that pesto sauce you make.” Yum.

I sit at the breakfast bar and talk to her while she makes her way around the kitchen with grace; she’s chopping, and mixing, and boiling, and sautéing; the girl has some serious skills. We make idle chat until she’s done and then move onto the living room to eat our dinner. She flips on the channel and asks what I want to watch.

“Go to the Sports Network, Vin’s fight is tonight so I want to see the interviews and watch him get ready.” I tell her as I get comfortable on the sofa cushion. I talked to him this morning, but he sounded weird for some reason, not exactly unaffectionate. I mean he said he loves me and he would be back as soon as the fight was over, but still something was off. I usually don’t talk to him before his fights, he says talking to me makes him jittery because I cannot be there to cheer him on.

Cadence finds the channel and we watch the TV watching the announcers finish talking about the last fight that just finished before they move onto the main event after taking a quick commercial break they should get to it. And finally my man is up.

“Hello world! It’s Mike and Lou coming at you from the MGM in Las

Vegas, Nevada. Welcome to the main event everyone, its t-minus 10 minutes until the real show is about to begin. As always it’s a pleasure to watch the first contender Vincent Santiago, since his career has started spectacularly thus far into the association. I have never seen a man who throws an upper-cut combo punch the way he does either, Tonight should be a real treat for you ladies especially, and of course gentlemen. Young Santiago has been quiet in the media lately no fiancé getting attention, no more talks of the soon to be baby being born, and especially no other women throwing themselves all over the newspapers trying to cook up attention. So we gotta ask, what exactly is going on back home?” The first commentator says all of this with a slimy ass look on his face, like he really wants to know. All he cares about is the dirty gossip though and we all know it.

The second commentator decides to finally chime in. “Well Mike, since you have rather elaborated our first opponent, let’s get to the second shall we…” He then goes on a spill about how strong and quick Keno Jones is and how he, as well, is undefeated coming into the bout tonight. Then the screens go to keno’s room to show his listening to music, getting tapped up, throwing punches with his team, and the finally showing a screen of his fights and records from the beginning of his career to now.

“Whoa whoa hold of a second Lou, we just had a breaking news announcement. We’re going to Santiago’s locker room now.” This comes from Mike. The screen goes to Vin’s room and there with him are the three people I cannot freaking stand. “We’re going down to Vincent’s live feed now Lou.”
All of a sudden there’s a break in the system and then we’re obviously getting live feed again. “Hello everyone, I just wanted to say how incredible it was to reach a deal today with Vincent’s people on a deal that will serve both sides.” There’s applause from the press. Vin is listening to music sitting on a chair, his hands already wrapped and his head is in his hands. He’s not participating in the press conference around him, he looks like he’s in his own world right now. I see my mother and Frank holding hands and then, Frank throw his arm over his daughter’s shoulders. He gives her a warm smile as well before continuing, “I would also like to announce that my lovely daughter here and Vincent were just married last night...” I don’t hear the rest of what he has to stay. I bolt up from my chair and run as fast as my belly will allow out of the room.

“Te..! Taleah!” Cadence is running behind me. I manage to make it to my room and into my bathroom before all the delicious food we just ate comes back up. I dispel everything into the toilet until my stomach starts to ache. Cadence grabs a wash cloth and wets it before dotting my face with it. I’m glad my hair was already pulled into a sloppy knot on my head or else I would have had vomit in my hair. I lean back and look at her while she tries her best to clean me up. She’s not saying a word at all to me. Just waiting for me to speak.

“Why? Why does this keep happening to me? I’m not this dumb girl. I’m not weak and pathetic, so why Cadence?” My voice is barely above a whisper as I finally feel myself break down.
“No, Te, you are not weak and you sure as hell don’t deserve this.” She helps me stand and brush and rinse my mouth. “Come let’s get you to bed, eh?”

I turn to my room and change into something comfortable, because I can see right now that I’m about to lose it. “I can’t sleep in here, the bed, it smells like him.” I turn my face to her hoping she understands.

“Come on, you can sleep with me.” We go to her room, but not before there’s a loud banging downstairs at the door. “I’ll take care of whoever it is. You just lay down and try to rest. I love you girl.” I lay in her bed and listen to the shouting and phones ringing before Tony bursts into what I assume is my room. “Te?!” He shouts.

I don’t move or speak, just listen to Cadence talking while he probably is looking for me. The door to Cadence’s room hits the wall and Tony stops when he sees me, all those tears I was holding back come now, but not in an ugly cry, this is silent and full of heartbreak, he sees this and says nothing as he takes off his shoes then climbs into bed, turning me into his chest and holding me.

Yet again he’s there for me when Vin isn’t
, this should be a bad sign by now.

XoXoXoXoXo Vin doesn’t come home the next day or week after the announcement.

I’m not going to say I’m surprised, probably off to Fiji or some bull shit ass place with his new wife. His father came by; devastated wasn’t even the words to describe what he was feeling for me. Rico is here and not leaving my side. Saying he’s going to beat the shit out of Vin when he sees him. What I find odd about all of this is why Marco and Rico weren’t in Vegas with Vin to begin with. I’m too numb to ask, so I don’t. I go on with my life though as if nothing happened. I go to class when I’m supposed to, eat like I have been these past months, and sleep when I’m not doing the former two.

Everyone wants me to say something, but what’s there to say? I got tricked again? I fell in love, when everyone told me not to? I was lied to in the worst way? Or, maybe the fact that I have a baby with a deceitful man? Those are all questions I see in their eyes, they want to ask them, accuse me of them, but they don’t dare speak.

Now, it’s Friday, and Tony’s football game is tonight. Everyone begged me to go, but I couldn’t. I’m not ready for more of the whispers and finger pointing I’ve been receiving all week. It’s bad enough I’m pregnant and probably looking a mess without everyone pointing it out.

Marco left to take care of god knows what, and I’m guessing Rico needed some Rico Sauvé time, so I’m here at home alone. Trying again, to not feel as pathetic as I do. I heat up a meal of fried chicken, macaroni, and greens that Cadence left for me on the heater in the kitchen. I am just about done when I hear the jiggle of keys in the lock. I don’t pay attention because everyone has keys to the townhouse these days. I hear footsteps go upstairs walk around then come back down, as they reach the kitchen I look up into those beautiful hazel eyes. But, they look tired and puffy this time around, not the vibrant way they did when they made love to me last Tuesday before they left for the airport, or how happy they were when he kissed my belly telling it “daddy will be back soon”, no these are eyes full of regret.

We stare at each other without speaking, his saying ‘I’m sorry’ and mine asking ‘why?’

“Baby” he breathes the words; almost sounding choked up about it. That one word or name or whatever the fuck else you want to call it hits a bad spot on my soul and I just lose it.

My heart was breaking. I thought I was strong enough to deal with this life, but obviously I was wrong. I looked around the room, and my eyes fell on
him
. He seemed lost. He looked at me like he’s never looked at me before. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. This was unlike him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I yelled out in frustration as I ran upstairs and started packing his bags, while he continued to look at me. He usually fought me on everything. He probably thought I was a waste of time after all he had to go through.

I was done. “Are you just going to stand there? Say Something! Anything!” I yelled at him. “If you want any kind of future with me, you’d better tell me the truth. That it’s all lies. Please...” I feel my strength slipping away... “You promised me... I’m begging you to say something.” The tears were coming, even though I was trying my hardest to keep them in check. No, I had to stay strong this time.

My heart, being the in-love fool that it is wanted to tell him to chase me . . . to make me forget all those other times. But then what? Cry again? I always end up feeling like I’m a fool. It is so depressing as to why I cannot just move on, be happy, meet someone new, someone that can respect me and not make me feel as low as I do right now. But, no. Why? Because I gave my heart away, damn near 12 years ago to a boy who would once again break it.

No, I can’t do this to myself again. For the first time in our relationship, I
will
come first. I will protect my heart this time, because I have done this too many times, and it’s not just my future that I have to worry about now. I made many mistakes, but the biggest one was accepting his excuses. But not this time. Now I’m finally promising to myself to change, pack his shit and make him leave..

After all, he had to know this would happen. That I wouldn’t just let him give me those sad hazel eyes and guilty look, thinking all would stay the same, as it was before.
“Baby, Please. Listen to me.” He pleaded. “There’s so much more to this than you think, but I need a chance to explain. Baby, just listen to me. I know you’re pissed, but at least listen to what I have to say.”

I looked at him and thought, “
Wow, he’s going to explain, but not ask to stay
” What else was I expecting anyway? I spent the last few months in this relationship wishing for a better outcome, but instead I got burned time after time. He lived his life while I barely held onto someone who was never mine and never wanted to be mine.

“You want to
explain
? Please do.” I stopped what I was doing and waved my hand to the seat at my make-up mirror. I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him sit on my bed, the bed I just bought new sheets and a duvet for,
Hell no!

He looked at the chair I pointed to then the bed, made a face, then looked at me. “You changed the bed, why?” The sounded hurt, but fuck him.

“Uh huh, you don’t ask questions. I do what I want in MY home. You can do whatever you want with your and your WIFE’S home.” I made sure to get my point across with the ‘my’ and ‘wife’s’. His lies and deceit weren’t for me and wouldn’t be well received this time. I let everything in our “before Vin and Taleah” relationship go after his speech a couple of months ago. I believed everything he said, because I wanted better for our baby and for me, but he ruined that when he said “I do” to someone who wasn’t me. Not saying that I was waiting for proposal, I love him though and hoped to one day be where Carmen’s bitch ass was. To have my man be my husband, just thinking that made tears swell in my eyes.

“Baby, please don’t cry” Vin tried to come near, but I pushed him away and moved to the other side of the room.

“Don’t touch me, just talk. This is your one and only chance.” I forced my voice to sound strong, because I was feeling anything but it.

“Ok, so I went to Vegas and you know the routine, I train, eat, and sleep. Well on the last night before the fight, a couple of my sparring partners came to me and said they wanted to go out, but they needed me because they couldn’t get the VIP treatment without me, I didn’t want to go, I wanted to relax and wait for the next night, but they wouldn’t let up, so I agreed. Remember we talked that night” he looked at me, trying to convince me of his truth. I did remember talking to him that night before he went out, he was complaining about not wanting to go. And I had said, “Only one month before our daughter is here so you might as well go and enjoy it, just not too much babe.” How stupid I was to think he wouldn’t enjoy it too much.

“You are not stupid baby” Vin said, damn it, shit, freaking thoughts always slipping out. “I was stupid, anyways, so I went out and we just so happen to ‘run into’” He used quotation marks. “Carmen and a few of her girls, she usually travels with. There were five of them, and about eight of us, not that it matters, but what I didn’t know was that two of her friends were dating two of my guys.” He looked at me to make sure I was following. I nodded, but stayed away from him. “So she automatically had a reason to stay with us, or me should I say, I fended her off all night and told her I love you and didn’t want her anymore. She was persistent and kept creeping onto at the booths in every club we went to. We were VIP so of course the alcohol was flowing, shot after shot appeared and I took them to distract myself. I know I wasn’t reaching over my limit though. I was keeping control of how far apart I was taking the drinks, I seriously have no fuckin idea how I ended up so drunk. Next thing I know I’m being carted to the dance floor and girls are around me. I kept my hands off, I swear baby, and I didn’t touch any one of them. I kept seeing Carmen creeping up to me, by the fifth club I was trashed, and couldn’t tell who from who.” He looks guilty now and I want to slap his ass because I know what is coming.

“I love you babe goodnight, that’s the last text I got from you, every time a girl pushed herself onto me that’s what I read, by that time all I could see was you. So again I was wasted by the fifth club I remember Carmen dancing up to me, then saying those exact same words and all I heard was your voice” I have tears coming down now. I remember that text, the baby kicked and he wasn’t there to make her go to sleep. “She said ‘babe let’s get married for our family I love you so much’ all I saw was you, then I blacked out. I don’t remember anything after that, I blacked out. I woke up…” He stops and breathes through his nose.