"And when I buried them using every coin I had left to buy them a stone, I buried them alone. In this entire city—this entire country—I was the only one there to say goodbye."
For the first time since beginning the story, Cherry looked at Berlin. Her eyes weren't sad or angry, no rage or mourning; they just
were
. "Don't ever say that I don’t understand loss, Berlin. I just haven't let it win."
*~*~*
Berlin was conflicted again, even more so than she had been when she first realized she wanted—but couldn't have—Cherry. Then, it had been simple.
No, Berlin, you cannot have her; you'll destroy her
. By taking her to the graveyard, Cherry had changed everything.
Cherry had been exposed to the soul-crushing loss Berlin was made of and had proved herself to be immune to the infection. Cherry was stronger than Berlin had ever thought, more resistant, more resilient. Cherry wasn't as weak as Berlin was; maybe …
Maybe Cherry would be okay. Maybe it was okay for Berlin to want her, to be with her. Maybe they could really be together.
The thought was mind-blowing.
*~*~*
"Have you ever been in love, Cherry Babe?"
Cherry smiled at the nickname, no longer a tease, and stretched out a little more under the tree she and Berlin rested beneath instead of practicing or doing anything at all, really.
"When I was six, with the girl next door."
Berlin laughed. "No, I mean really love someone."
Cherry thought through her wording before saying, "Never before, no."
They were quiet for some time before Cherry got up the nerve to ask, "Could anyone ever compare to Danni for you?"
"Danni was the greatest man I've ever known," Berlin said slowly. "I loved him, but I was never in love with him. We took care of each other, but we were never lovers. We were like family."
"Have you ever been in love?" Cherry whispered.
Berlin rolled over to meet Cherry's eyes and carefully said, "Never before, no."
Cherry wasn't entirely sure how it happened; she just knew that she couldn't be so close to Berlin anymore without
doing
something. She reached up to wrap her arms around Berlin's neck, pulled her down, and kissed her until they were both breathless.
Berlin pulled back a bit, looking into Cherry eyes as they tried to remember how to breathe.
"I love you." Cherry watched for Berlin's reaction, saw her eyes go even darker.
"Goddess, Cherry, I love you, too."
Then they were kissing again, and it was completely different from the last time. This kiss was filled with heat and intention, a touch of desperation mixed with an overwhelming need, and it went on and on and on.
"Berlin," Cherry gasped, pulling her mouth away. "Bee."
Berlin slowed, resting her forehead against Cherry's as they shared breath. "Yeah?"
"Make love to me."
Without a word, without an argument or cocky remark, Berlin took Cherry's hand and led her home.
Things settled down after that day with surprising ease. The tension had been broken and replaced with something far sweeter and more fulfilling for both women, and a feeling of home surrounded them both.
Days came and passed; arena fights came and went. Slowly but surely their savings were growing while Cherry worked double time to make up for her setback.
It was amazing to Berlin just how similar her life was to how it had been before Cherry. She ate and slept and fought in her own little world, but knowing that Cherry shared that world with her gave everything meaning. She had a purpose; she was not only living again but living for something, for someone, with someone.
The bitter mourning for her son began to dissolve, replaced by a refreshed view of life and the world, a fight to not only survive but to
live
.
Berlin had never been happier, and it was all because of Cherry.
*~*~*
Cherry gasped, gagging on the water Berlin offered her. The fight had been extensive and taxing; every muscle on her body was sore and aching. She coughed up several mouthfuls before she managed to get any down.
"Goddess, Bee," she panted, "that was—"
"I know." Berlin took the water and gave her a push back onto the arena floor. "Knock her out, Cherry Babe!"
Cherry stumbled, caught herself as Bela entered the arena, and stumbled again.
Bela was a
beast
, easily six feet tall with rippling muscle over every inch of her body. Her thighs were comparable to Cherry's waist; her upper arms were comparable to Cherry's head. As she approached, Cherry was literally overshadowed.
Cherry swallowed, hard. Whereas most fighters were built with pure sex appeal, Bela the Bull was built to conquer. Hers was the rare sexual fantasy, but she was popular nonetheless.
Cherry's last thought before the fight started was that she should have kissed Berlin goodbye.
The fight was over in a matter of minutes but not fast enough for Cherry. Bela pounded on her, beating her down again and again with a ferocity that even a fully rested Cherry would have had trouble competing with. As it was, Cherry was not one to give up and kept coming back for more, even when her body screamed at her to stay down.
When it was over, she barely managed the dozen foot drag before collapsing into Berlin's arms.
"Never again," she croaked out, shaking her head as Berlin poured water over her, waiting for her throat to be fully functional again. "No more."
She choked on the water but forced it down anyway, gasping and sputtering, before setting off stiffly.
"Where are you going?"
"To find Neel," Cherry answered. "I have to catch him before he leaves, or these double fights will be the death of me."
*~*~*
Cherry was pacing back and forth in the arena tunnel, but Berlin was completely at ease, even as Cherry rambled about fight options for the pair of them.
"Did you know about this?" Cherry demanded, turning on Berlin, hands on her hips.
Berlin couldn't help the grin that broke across her face. "Yes."
"I knew it! I
knew
something was going on. You've been acting funny for days, and
I told you
I was on to you. Why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't need to know." Berlin's shrug and voice were too casual.
Cherry narrowed her eyes. "Berlin."
Berlin couldn't keep up the façade and laughed. "You're funny when you get worked up like this."
With an indignant shriek, Cherry launched herself at Berlin, knocking her from her seated position to one sprawled across the dirt.
"Hey! Hey! Save it for the match!"
With one last jab to Berlin's ribs, Cherry got to her feet and strutted onto the arena floor.
The crowd went wild when Berlin followed; somewhere among them, two sponsors were preparing for big winnings.
As they circled, Cherry informed her, "I'm not going to go easy on you."
Berlin grinned. "I might have to, to make it seem like a fair fight."
With a cry, Cherry threw herself at Berlin's legs. Their fight had begun.
It was long and exciting, and the audience was certainly getting their money's worth. Berlin and Cherry were evenly matched, Berlin's forethought and strength against Cherry's reactionary contortion. They knew each other's moves and thought processes intimately; there were possibly no better-paired fighters in The Zone.
That was what the advertisements had said, and it was proving to be true.
Each time it seemed a breath away from ending, the fight would change. Berlin had Cherry in a chokehold so Cherry flipped up and over Berlin's head, breaking free. Cherry tangled around Berlin, pinning her, but Berlin flexed and kicked her way through Cherry's weak spot.
Just when Cherry thought the fight would only end when both of them passed out from exhaustion, Berlin stumbled, opening herself up wide for attack. Cherry pounced and a flurry of kicks and punches later Berlin lay pinned beneath her.
Cherry's cut of the prize money was quite impressive—even after her sponsor took an additional share for no reason—and she babbled about the fight ceaselessly as she and Berlin stripped out of their armor and cleaned up. Cherry trailed off when she saw Berlin smiling to herself and demanded, "What?"
"Nothing. I haven't heard you like this since we first met."
Cherry's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're changing the subject. There's something else."
Berlin turned away, the half-smile still on her face.
"Did—Did you let me win?"
Berlin just grinned in response, and Cherry tackled her without thought or warning, knocking the air out of her when they crashed to the floor. She hadn't fully registered the fact that they were both naked until Berlin's slick thigh slid between hers, making her breath catch.
A naked wrestling match ensued, punctuated with little gasps whenever sensitive areas were teased. Finally though, Cherry emerged victorious, straddling Berlin's hips and holding her wrists above her head.
"You let me win," she panted accusingly.
"Not this one."
Cherry's eyes went wide. "You
did
let me win!"
Berlin smirked up at Cherry's astonished face, wriggling a little to test that she really couldn't move. "What are you going to do about it?"
Cherry's slow grin was hungry and dark. "We're naked, I'm on top of you, and you can't move. I'm going to do whatever I want." She ducked her head to take one of Berlin's nipples into her mouth and sucked hard.
Berlin arched her back as much as she could, a strangled cry escaping her throat, and Cherry's grin widened. This was going to be fun.
"This is it, Cherry Babe!" Berlin tossed the final coin onto the pile she had recounted three times. After months of savings, Berlin could finally buy her way out.
To celebrate, Cherry swung herself into Berlin's lap and kissed her thoroughly. Berlin was too excited to focus.
"We're going to get out of here." She couldn't stop grinning at Cherry. "We'll pool the money from the rest of our fights and buy your—"
"No." Cherry shook her head. "Absolutely not."
"Cherry—"
"I'll buy my own way out, Bee. I'm not taking your money." Her voice softened. "Save it for later. Your inn won't be free. Save up for that."
*~*~*
It should have made a bigger impact on Berlin as Cherry began to change. She should have noticed sooner; she should have been on her guard. Still, Cherry had so much fight, so much determination … How was Berlin to know she'd grow
comfortable
?
Once upon a time, all Cherry could talk about was Valeria. They'd lie awake late at night, making plans and sharing dreams. They made plans for Berlin's inn, choosing foods and tableware; they dreamed about what colors would be in the rooms.
As time dragged on, these conversations became few and far between before finally stopping altogether.
Cherry had become comfortable in The Zone.
*~*~*
Berlin found Cherry on the house steps one afternoon crying over the letter in her hands, and her heart sank. "Oh, Cherry, I'm so sorry." She sat beside her, wrapped an arm around her, and pulled her close. Cherry, however, remained stiff and unyielding.
"I was going home to him." Her voice was flat as she pulled away. "I was strong for him. I was going to get out of here and make sure he was okay. I was going to take care of him."
"I know, Cherry. I know."
"No, you don't know!" Cherry snapped. "He's not
dead
; I wish he was. He abandoned me!" She crumpled the letter into a ball, threw it as far as she could, and stormed into the house. Berlin retrieved it before following.
Inside, Cherry stood in the middle of the room, not going anywhere, not looking at anything.
"Cherry, what happened?"
Cherry looked up at her, eyes red and wet from tears and rage, her hair disheveled, her face a mess.
"My father hasn't written me in a year. A year of me worrying my ass off to get back to him; a year of me going out of my mind with fear. He gave up my life to
this
to pay his debts because he couldn't handle my mother dying, but I was a good daughter for him. Letters and thoughts of him kept me alive, and now," she gestured to the wrinkled paper in Berlin's hands, "now, he's 'severing ties' with me! I've been gone for years, he says; it's time to accept that I'm not coming back. He's accepted it and moved on with his life; he got married to a girl barely older than me! My letters only drag them down, and he doesn't want me to contact him ever again. I'm not his daughter anymore."
Cherry gasped for air, suddenly unable to get enough, and collapsed to the floor, sobbing and screaming, "He was my father! I was his daughter! He abandoned me!"
Berlin immediately dropped to her knees beside her and held her tight as Cherry clung to her.
The tears kept coming no matter how hard Cherry tried to stop them. Years of memories bubbled to the surface, making the betrayal even harder to bear.
Every time she thought she had hiccupped herself under control, a fresh wave of tears dragged her under again.
Berlin got her into bed somehow and lay beside her, holding her tightly all night.
When Cherry finally had no more tears to cry, she curled up against Berlin's chest. "None of that matters anymore. As long as I'm with you, I would be happy here forever. As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."
Berlin's breath caught, and her heart began to race. It had finally happened. She couldn't run, even as desperately as she wanted to, but as soon as Cherry fell asleep, she made her escape.
Wandering through The Zone in the dark, well after curfew, made it easier for Berlin to breathe but not any easier to think as the barrage of thoughts kept up their assault of her mind, screaming blame.
You idiot! This is your fault! You destroyed her!
As much as Cherry would counter these accusations, Berlin knew they were true. She had poisoned Cherry.
She had known from the start that Cherry was too good for her, too pure, too spirited. Berlin was dark and tainted, and by loving Cherry, by allowing Cherry to love her, she had passed on her disease and infected Cherry.