Authors: Annalisa Simon
“It’s been
almost two years and he hasn’t had another girlfriend or anyone serious in his life. He still has your pictures on his desk at work and he calls you his wife still. I am asking you for his sake and for yours to just hear him out. You know how much he hides his feelings sometimes but inside he is really broken. A mother knows!”
“What about me Marianne? H
e really hurt me back then too!” protested Candasee. “I thought I had the dream life and the dream husband and it broke my heart to know that he did not want the real me! I have a relationship with someone who does now and I don’t want to make the mistake of giving that up before I’ve even had a chance to see where it could all lead!”
“
Candasee, he does want the real you, but I will let him explain that to you! Inevitably, someone is going to get hurt in this situation but it is time for it to be resolved. I want you to know that I will love you and accept you no matter what you decide!” said Marianne opening her arms and hugging Candasee.
Darius stepped out onto the porch and observed the two women holding each other
under the glow of the lights. Was it so bad to want his family together again? He thought as he watched them. No, it wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it was the right thing to do even if he had to take drastic measures to do so.
“Mom, Candasee, we are ready to serve the first course and you know the staff
have been instructed to serve the guests of honour first!” he said, reluctantly interrupting their moment.
Marianne and Candasee exchanged knowing looks before linking arms and returning inside with Darius following
closely behind.
“Th
at sounds like you Mom,’ said Candasee giving Marianne one final squeeze before holding her hand.
“I’m so glad you are here tonight Candasee, this is the best
wedding gift I could have possibly gotten right now. I missed you so much,” she said sincerely.
“I wouldn’t have missed tonight for anything either!”
They walked in together and after being seated dinner was served. It was absolutely delicious with a menu of wine soaked poultry, vegetables, candied potatoes, salads and more.
Candasee was sure that this time her metabolism would shut down! Desserts consisted of various cream pies and rum soaked fruit cakes and the sense of festiveness was high. Many of the guests had moved out to the dance floor
, some were taking pictures with Courtney and Marianne and Francis were already there dancing and smiling among everyone else having a great time.
“May I have this dance?”
Candasee recognized Darius’ scent first and then his voice as she looked over her shoulder and up into his eyes as he loomed above her. Darius wasn’t really the type to dance to music of this quick soca genre so she regarded him with a puzzled look.
“Seriously, I want to dance with you tonight!
Hey, we can’t let Mom and Francis have all the fun when we are half their ages!” said Darius, gesturing to where his mother and Francis were really having a grand time on the dance floor.
“No
I guess we can’t! I must say that Francis knows how to move his hips though!” said Candasee with a chuckle as she admired his moves. “But you on the other hand always avoided the dance floor when this kind of music was playing, what gives?” she asked now turning slightly in her chair.
“Maybe, I’m seeing life a lot differently these days!” he replied. “So will you dance with me or will my hand continue to hang here in the air unaccepted?”
Candasee thought about what he said again and looked out at the dance floor at the fun those two were having together. Usually that would be her, but somehow tonight she was the one on the sidelines with a mind filled with thoughts and questions and the mood to dance was not really there. But Darius had a point, they were young and full of life and if Marianne and Francis could celebrate, why shouldn’t she? Those two did not look at all like they were in their sixties.
“Okay, I will dance one number with you!” she agreed with her thoughts moving fleetingly to Nathan
and what he would think if he witnessed this scene. Marianne was right, she was a bundle of emotions and confusion and she needed to know for sure that she was over Darius before she moved on with Nathan. They walked over to the dance floor and they both began to move to the music.
“Hey not bad Mr. Brogan, so you have been hiding all this rhythm from me all along?” asked Candasee
with a laugh as she noted Darius’ fluid movements.
He took her by the hand and with a flourish s
pun her around and brought her back full against the length of his body as the song climaxed to its end suddenly.
“
No, I’ve danced to songs like this before, just not very often,” he said leaning down and whispering softly in her ear. “That wasn’t the song I wanted to dance with you to by the way, but it’s this next one I requested especially for you!”
At that moment
the DJ announced that they were slowing down the tempo and going a little old school and that everyone should hold the person they loved. Couples all over the floor drew near to each other as the first strains of the song began to play, “
I’d Die Without You
” by PM Dawn.
He’d tricked her into dancing with him
! She was immediately stunned by the intimate memories the song evoked. It was this song which played the night Darius asked her to marry him and on the many nights he treated her to candlelight dinner followed by lovemaking that she felt then had branded her as his for life! It was also this song that she’d listened to almost every night in tears that first year they were apart.
Candasee tried to pull away but Darius held her firmly against him and threaded his arms around he
r waist while holding her hands in his.
“Darius, everyone is going to notice that we are dancing in the wrong dire
ction!” protested Candasee still trying to free herself without causing a scene.
“I don’t really care what they think
Candasee, just listen to the words!” he whispered again.
“I already know the words, let me go, you tricked me!”
“Candee, I’m not going to let you go.”
His warm breath tickled the tendrils of hair
which were cascading around her ears and neck and the low timbre of his voice was warm, inviting and familiar. She relaxed a little allowing her body to mould to his more. As they swayed to the music the words filled her mind with a message that was long overdue.
...
Is it my turn to hold you by your hands, and tell you I love you and you hear me, Is it my turn to totally understand, to watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing... If I have to give away the feeling that I feel...If I have to sacrifice whatever baby, whatever baby...If I have to take apart all that I am...baby there’s nothing I wouldn’t do..Since I’d die without you! Oh I apologize for all the things I’ve done, and now I’m underwater and I’m drowning...Take every little piece of my heart....Take every little piece of my soul...
The fresh scent of Candasee’s hair was intoxicating and Darius closed his eyes and allowed himself to become reacquainted with her warmth and the feel of her body against his.
This was where he wanted to be again. Literal shockwaves were pulsating between their bodies as they swayed together to this song.
“Do you feel that Candee? The connection between us is still there!” he stated
.
Candasee closed her eyes and bit down on her lips still unwilling to admit that she was
so powerfully affected not just by the song but by the sizzling electricity that was filling her from head to toe being this close to Darius again. It had always been like this for them! This earth shattering, all consuming passion and desire for each other was something she’d grown to cherish because she could see when she looked at other couples that theirs was an extraordinary union.
Darius noted her silence and turned her around slowly to face him disconnecting their bodies for a few seconds as he drew her arms up and around his neck to continue their dance.
The unwelcome feeling of separation that surged through Candasee then and the feeling of connectedness that returned once her arms were around Darius’ neck told her immediately that she was treading a thin line with trouble.
“I wanted to see your eyes, because even though you might not want to respond to me your eyes always t
ell me the truth you try so desperately to hide,” said Darius softly as he looked intently at her.
Immediately Candasee tried to look down and away, knowing that besides the
startling colour of her eyes, they were also very expressive and she could never hide her feelings on anything she felt strongly about.
“Darius, why are you doing this to
me? I’m not yours anymore,” she whispered with her voice shaking. She felt the hot prick of tears begin to form behind her eyelids as she said so. How could she tell him that with this one song she remembered it all, the good times and the bad times and that they’d had more good than bad? That her heart still burned as she thought of him, touched him, inhaled his manly scent and heard his voice. That her eyes had followed him around the room as he greeted the guests and that she admired the way he spoke to everyone with such respect and affection. That she loved the way he treated his mother, that she’d felt like a queen in his life and she’d loved how he treated her, until those dark days began!
“Candasee, I just want you to see what I see, feel and know. We still love each other, nothing has changed there!
So give me a chance, hear what I have to say.”
Candasee tried to conceal the sob that began rising in her throat and her body began to tremble as hot tears flowed out of her eyes
. Darius tightened his arms around her waist protectively. Tonight they would talk and he would tell her everything and he hoped that she would understand and forgive him.
Candasee raised her head and looked at Darius
but his eyes were now closed and his brows furrowed as he concentrated on some thought in his mind.
She could lit
erally sense his heart hammering in his chest. As she did more hot tears welled up in her eyes as she considered all of the unspoken words that remained between them and she once again buried her face in his shoulder not wanting him to know how much she was affected by this. Her makeup would be ruined by now and so would be the shoulder on Darius’ tux, but somehow none of that really mattered any more.
When she left him
two years ago, she went straight to the airport and flew home to Barbados and filed divorce papers immediately. She refused to take his calls, preferring her lawyer to do the talking. They’d only spoken briefly, but she hadn’t been civil and they were both extremely stubborn. They had never even discussed what the problems were. It was just shouting and accusations, blame and criticism and they forgot in the midst of all of that to communicate. He buried himself in his work and she ran home to Barbados.
Why was Darius so against her choice back then?
She wondered again and she found herself now slowly pounding his chest with her hands as they now slid from around his neck.
Darius
had to get Candasee into another room soon before she broke down completely. She wouldn’t appreciate in retrospect, them having it the most important discussion of their lives in front of so many guests. Taking her by the hand, he led her to another room down the hallway in the house after quietly signalling to one of his security detail to begin taking the guests back over to the mainland. He’d hired about ten helicopters for the evening to manage transporting the many guests, so flying them back to Derrien Island would be very easy.
He had already spoken to his mother about his plans and she decided to call him in the morning
, so leaving the party at this time shouldn’t require any of his attention. Ramon and his team had everything under control. The only person who would have his full attention now was Candasee.
He removed the handkerchief from his
jacket pocket and handed it to Candasee after helping her to sit down on one of the lounge chairs. He was having a hard time controlling his emotions and could sense his own tears weren’t too far behind.
“Why Darius? Why
can’t you leave well enough alone?” asked Candasee now loudly, her voice now broken with sadness as she faced him in the empty room now that they were alone.
Darius knelt on the floor before her and took her hands in his before he began to speak.
“Candasee I beg you to hear me out with what I am going to say to you. I love you with every fibre in me and I don’t even know where to begin saying how sorry I am. I know the song was only a miniscule beginning but you have to know this, I feel as though I have been dying a slow death ever since we divorced and I don’t want this life without you anymore . I need to tell you why your dancing bothered me so much then and why it doesn’t anymore now. When we were still married I wasn’t able to explain it even to myself and I had to do a lot of soul searching before I allowed myself to realize the true root of my anger toward you. Baby, it was never you and I let something from way back in my childhood surface and destroy the one relationship I treasured.”