“He seemed pretty confident that you’d win the fight
tomorrow.” Her voice is almost a whisper as her arms tighten around
my waist.
I school my voice and try to be as convincing as I
can. “Look, I don’t want you to worry about this fight. Everything
will go as planned. I’ll get another shot at the title in a year,
maybe two. It’s just one fight. Okay?” The truth is I’m
disappointed I won’t be destroying Del Toro in front of a live
audience tomorrow. But in this situation, the prize for losing
outweighs the heavyweight title.
I search the room again for my mom. We fall into
silence for a few minutes until I spot a familiar smile in the
crowd.
“There she is.” I lift my chin in her direction.
“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh.” It seems Raven’s
calm demeanor was nothing more than an intermission. She’s back to
bouncing.
“Joey, my baby!”
My mom rushes to us, dropping her bags and throwing
her arms around my waist. At a generous five foot five, she’s been
hugging me around the waist since I was sixteen. It’s been a few
months since I saw her last, but she looks the same: Dark hair
without a hint of gray, styled to perfection. Her fashionable
clothes, pristine makeup, and designer bag making her seem younger
than her fifty-three years. Yep, hasn’t changed a bit.
“Mom. This is my girl, Raven. Raven, this is my
mom.”
Pulling back, she takes a side step and grabs both
of Raven’s hands. “It’s so nice to meet you, Raven. You’re just as
beautiful as Joey described.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Slade.”
“Please, call me Katherine.”
“Thank you, ma’am . . . um, Katherine.”
With Raven’s hands still in her grasp, my mom looks
at me. “You did good, son. She’s beautiful and polite.”
“Yeah,
she
is.” I shake my head. “I still
can’t believe you thought I was gay.”
Raven stares at me aghast while my mom shakes her
head and smiles.
Dropping her hands, my mom slips her arm into the
crook at Raven’s elbow. “Come on, dear. Let me tell you about the
time when my Joey was four and he ran around the front yard naked
pretending to be a superhero called Super Weenie Man.”
“Shit, Ma.”
Raven giggles.
“Watch that mouth, Joey. You’re in the presence of
ladies.”
Grabbing her bags, I walk behind two of the three
women I love the most in the world.
***
“Jonah, wait up!”
I’m heading into the training center, after dropping
my mom and Raven off at my house, when Blake’s voice causes an
about face. I have a quick training session and a short meeting I
need to wrap up so I can get back to them for dinner.
“What’s up, Blake?”
“Dude, we got problems.”
We’re standing on the sidewalk outside the training
center’s doors, and Blake looks around like he’s checking for
snipers.
“Ah, shit. What now?”
“Okay, I was at Zeus’s last night and I ended up
hooking up with this new girl, Sherry, or Terry . . . Mary?” His
eyes go skyward as he scratches his cheek and shakes his head.
“Whatever. She mentioned that a guy—”
“Zeus’s? I thought you tagged Camille last
night?”
His body freezes. “Camille! I can’t believe you
unleashed that crazy . . .” He closes his eyes and rubs his temples
as if to organize his thoughts. His eyes open and he glares at me.
“We’re gonna talk about that, but first the stripper.”
I nod, unable to manage the smile that is wreaking
havoc on my face. It’s not often Blake has issues with girls.
“So, the stripper,” he continues, “told me a guy
named Dominick had offered her a job as an escort. I guess she
thought that’d impress me.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyway, she told me
a few of the girls accepted his offer and—”
“You gonna get to the point where you tell me what
the fuck this has to do with me?”
“Dude, listen. And stop interrupting. Shit.” He
folds his arms across his chest, hangs his head, and blows out a
frustrated breath. “I asked her who accepted his offer. She said
she wasn’t sure, but that more than a few were interested.”
“So? I don’t give a shit what Dominick does. As long
as he leaves Raven out of it.”
“The new girl told me she overheard a convo in the
dressing room. Dominick’s hiring for a special job. One that takes
place the night of the fight. At The Mandalay Bay Arena. You think
that shit’s a coincidence?”
“Maybe he needs some fresh girls for all the
high-rollers that’ll be hitting up the fight. Dominick has to know
better than to fuck with me on fight night. I’m going to be making
him a rich man.” Or, a richer man.
“I’ve got a really bad feeling about this,” Blake
mumbles.
There’s nothing I can say. This whole situation
sucks. The only thought that brings me peace is that, by Sunday,
Raven will be all mine and we can move on with our lives. I rub my
eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose to soothe the throbbing
headache this conversation brought on.
“Remind me when I decide to settle down to find a
girl without baggage. Preferably one with no family.” He holds up
his hand and starts ticking off fingers with each stipulation. “No
kids, ex-husbands, psycho dads, fucking skeletons in the closet.
None of that shit.”
“It’s gonna take a special girl to put up with your
ass, Blake. You got no room to be picky.”
“I’m serious, man.” He points at the ground. “I’d
rather stay single my entire life, banging anyone who can keep up,
than take on some chick with issues. You can tattoo that on my ass
if you don’t believe me.”
The serious mask on his face tightens into a scowl.
“Oh, and thanks a lot for pushing that crazy bitch Camille on me
last night. I got her in the elevator, just about to do her, and
you know what she said?”
I shrug. I’m still pissed at that chick for
upsetting Raven, but I have to give her credit for freaking Blake
out.
“She said if I wanted to get up in there, I had to
prove myself.” His voice pitches high. “She said I had to submit
her to the ground before she’d let me fuck her. I’m looking to get
off, and she wants jiu-jitsu foreplay. Who does that shit?”
Unable to hold it in a second longer, laughter
bursts from my mouth.
“It’s not funny, man. It’s whacked. I had blue balls
for two hours before Kerri, or whatever the fuck her name was, at
the strip club got me off.”
“I can’t believe you couldn’t get a submission on a
girl. Maybe they can open up a spot for you on their team. Teach
you a thing or two.”
Blake’s look of disgust only makes me laugh
harder.
“Oh, real nice. You’re a dick, you know that?” He
stomps off and through the doors.
~*~
Raven
“So, Raven, tell me about your family. Does your mom
live here in town?”
Water spews from my mouth. I choke and gasp for
air.
“Oh, goodness, honey, are you okay?” Katherine hands
me a dishtowel and pats me on the back.
She’s been busy making dinner and filling me in on
Jonah’s milestones growing up. The subject change took me by
surprise.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you. Just went down the wrong
pipe.”
“You scared me.”
You think that scared you? Ask me again about my
mom.
I’m not happy about opening the closet doors to my
soul and revealing my dark secrets to the one person in the world I
want to like me. But, I can’t lie to Jonah’s mom either. She’s
going to find out eventually, and what will she think then? If I
plan on being a part of Jonah’s life, I need to be honest, upfront.
What’s that saying? The truth will set you free.
More like the
truth will keep you single.
She’s cutting vegetables, oblivious to the fact that
I’m about to drop a bomb directly on to her sweet head. Maybe
she’ll forget if I change the subject.
“So, you were telling me about your parents?”
Too late.
I’ll talk around it. That will give her enough to be
satisfied, and I won’t have to tell her the ugly truth.
“My mom lives in town, yes, and so does my . . . um
. . . my dad.” Saying the word makes me want to spit to clean out
the dirty.
“Are they still married?” Her questions are so
casual and every day. Nothing more than a little small talk with
the girl who’s dating her son.
Boy, is she in for a
surprise.
Just get it over with! It’ll be easier that way.
I bite my lip, working up my nerve. “Uh, no, they
were never, um, married.”
This sucks.
“Oh, that’s too bad. What do they do? For work?” Her
eyes are fixed on the task before her, chopping and dumping into a
bowl.
“My mom is in sales.”
Please, let that be
enough.
My stomach churns. This already feels like a lie.
“What does she sell?
My shoulders slump in defeat. Might as well get it
over with. I check the clock on the microwave. Jonah should be home
soon. I wish he were here now.
“Herself. My mom is a call girl.”
Her chopping ceases and she turns toward me,
the
question burning in her eyes. “Call
center
girl?”
I scrub my face with my hand. “Call girl.”
Katherine’s knife drops on the counter with a clang.
Her eyes are huge and her mouth moves, but no sound comes out.
I’m not finished yet. “Her pimp . . . well, he’s my
. . . my uh . . . he got her pregnant.”
She adds head shaking to the list of silent
responses.
“I don’t . . . or, um, never had a relationship with
either of them.” I exhale a long breath.
There. I did it.
My teeth rake over my lower lip. I count the tiles
on the floor. Silent seconds tick. I prepare for the speech about
my being trash and no good for her son. I straighten my spine,
ready for her attack on my character. Dragging my eyes to meet
hers, I lurch in shock.
Her eyes are the exact shade of Jonah’s. And just
like Jonah, filled with compassion. Not judgment. I relax a
fraction under their gaze.
“That’s an incredible story.” Her voice is gentle
and calms my nerves. “You must have been through a lot growing up.
I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you.” She picks up
my hand and holds it in hers. “You know what you are, Raven?”
I shake my head
no
, fearing that my voice
will break the consoling cocoon her words provide. I’m desperate to
know.
What am I?
“You’re like that single wild flower that grows from
the crack in the pavement: miraculous growth with no water source
or fertile soil. A person walking by would step around that flower
to avoid crushing it. It’s not like the field of wild flowers you
tromp through carelessly, crushing them under your feet, knowing
that the next day will bring a hundred more.”
She pauses to place her hand on my cheek. “You’ve
managed a life through your obstacles. It may be a lonely life, but
a life nonetheless. Surviving is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s
something to be
proud
of.”
She sees me as worthy. Not a weight in Jonah’s life,
but special. A miracle.
I want to express what her words mean to me, but
can’t organize my emotions fast enough. Tears pool in my eyes. I
blink, and they overflow as her speech runs on repeat in my head,
leeching out the poison left behind in my soul.
She brings a kitchen towel to my face and wipes my
tears. Her kind smile is more than I can handle and I sob.
“Oh, honey.” She pulls me into her arms. I’m
completely lost in her embrace. She holds me tight, speaking words
into my hair about strength and release.
My cheek presses into her shoulder, soaking her
shirt with my tears. I startle when a pair of strong arms pull me
away from her. So deep in my sorrow, I didn’t hear him come in. The
familiar smell of citrus and spice relax my muscles, and I bury
myself into Jonah’s chest.
“Mom. What the fuck happened?” Anger laces his
voice.
I can’t see Katherine’s face, but her whispered,
“It’s okay, Joey” has him relaxing against me. He takes a deep
breath and holds me until I calm.
“Baby?” He kisses my head and rubs my back.
I lean away from Jonah, but he keeps his arms
tightly around my waist. I wipe my face, feeling exposed and
embarrassed. “Sorry. It’s stupid—”
“No, Raven, don’t do that. Don’t belittle your
strength with embarrassment. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Katherine’s eyes are wet with tears.
I nod and simply say the only thing I can, “Thank
you, Katherine.”
Staring at Jonah’s neck, I’m unable to lift my gaze,
fearing what I might see in his eyes.
“Hey. Look at me.”
I brave a glance.
He’s smiling tenderly, bringing forth both dimples.
“You okay?”
I nod.
“Right.” He kisses my lips, then the tip of my nose,
and finally my forehead.
“My son is lucky to have you, Raven. I’m very proud
of him, and I’m equally proud of you.”
Warmth floods my chest, flowing into my cheeks and
pulling on my lips. I look from Katherine to Jonah.
“You girls have fun today?” He doesn’t take his eyes
from mine. His voice is soft and I appreciate the change to a
happier subject.
We hang out in the kitchen while Katherine puts the
finishing touches on dinner. Jonah steals pieces of food off the
counter and she slaps his hand. For the first time, I see Jonah as
a boy while he playfully teases his mom. I laugh as she reprimands
him for drinking milk straight from the carton. She fills him in on
his sister and her husband. He laughs at the stories about his
nephews getting into trouble.
I’m nothing more than a spectator to this beautiful
display of family. I watch in silence as envy piggybacks my
happiness.
After a delicious meal, I excuse myself to clean the
kitchen so Jonah and his mom can have some time alone. Drying the
last dish and putting it away, I head straight to Jonah’s garage
for some quiet time with the Impala.