Final Mend (22 page)

Amy greeted her at the door with an enthusiastic smile. “Winona! We're so glad you're here. Just wait until you see what's for dinner.”

“What is for dinner?”

“I can't tell you. It's a surprise. Come on in.” She moved aside and let Winona enter, much like an adult host would do. Winona had a feeling growing up with Jake and Brandon had a lot to do with her social skills.

Sadness washed over her. She would have loved to meet Jake's cousin. Regrettably, she'd never have met Jake if not for Brandon's death. Oh, how life sometimes threw punches. Painful punches. She didn't want to muse over those punches right now.

“You have to stay out of the kitchen until dinner,” Amy warned. “Garret and Reagan are drinking a lemonade outside. You can join them there.”

“Thanks.” Winona slid the back door open and saw Reagan. “Hey.”

“Hey, sweetie,” Reagan greeted. “Sit down. Have a glass of lemonade.” She indicated the pitcher and glasses nearby. “Amy made it. Squeezed the lemons and everything. It's fresh.”

“Isn't she an amazing little girl?”

“She is,” Reagan agreed. “We were just talking about how wonderful and funny she is.” Reagan took Garret's hand and smiled. Glad to see they were getting along, she assumed they had made up and all was well, but she wasn't about to ask.

“She banned me from the kitchen. Told me to join you two outside.”

Reagan laughed. “Any idea what they're cooking in there?”

“No idea. But your house smells heavenly. Like garlic and basil. I'm thinking something Italian.”

“Maybe spaghetti?”

“Homemade spaghetti with his own special sauce, since Jake's involved. He probably baked his own pasta. Do you have a pasta machine?” Winona asked.

“Actually, yes, we do. It's never been used, but we bought it on spur of the moment once. We wanted to start cooking together and learning new recipes. I hope he's breaking it in for us.”

They continued to talk about Jake, Amy, food, and anything else that came up. They sipped lemonade and watched as clouds continued to darken the sky.

“I'm thinking about getting a cat,” Winona said out of the blue.

“Huh?”

“Would you mind if I adopted a cat?” she asked Reagan.

“Mind? Why would I mind?”

“Because I'm living in your condo. And I didn't want to have a cat in there if it bothered you.”

“Not at all. There was a cat there before I was. It'd be perfect. Will you adopt one from the shelter?”

“Yes.”

“I'd like to go with you. Maybe I'll adopt one, too.”

“I'm thinking of asking Amy to come along. She can help us choose one. It might be fun for her.”

“Sounds great. She and Jake went swimming together today down at Tanyon Lake. And dirt biking. Who would have thought she'd be so good at dirt biking? He took her on an outdoor tour, to the campsite we were at when Naomi was chased by the bear. She couldn't stop laughing when Garret told her the story. They had a picnic, then went grocery shopping for this meal they're cooking. Made a whole day of it. Sounds like they had a wonderful time.”

Winona bit down on her disappointment that they hadn't asked her to join them. Why should they ask her? They needed their alone time and she didn't want to intrude.

“I'm sure she'll want to show you her pictures later. She's quite a photographer.”

Amy slid open the door and stuck out her head. “Dinner's ready! Time to wash up.”

They gathered at the dining room table, where it had already been set. Amy walked around the table with Jake, helping to serve the meal. It was as Winona had guessed, only better. Spaghetti, garlic bread, and a salad with sparkling white grape juice and a small strawberry tart for dessert. Winona had never tasted anything so wonderful. Garlic and basil exploded on her tongue. Lively chatter surrounded the table, warming the room.

The storm came with pelting rain and boisterous thunder. They watched a movie afterward, and when Amy started yawning, Jake told her it was time to bed.

Her eyes widened. “Can't I stay in here a little longer?”

“You stayed up way too late last night. You need to get a good night's sleep.”

“But it's thundering,” she said, her voice shaking. Peeping at Winona, she asked, “Can you come with me? Tuck me in and let me fall asleep?”

Winona laced her fingers through Amy's small ones and glanced at Jake before responding. He smiled and nodded.

“Of course,” Winona said as she stood and walked with Amy down the hall to her room.

Thunder clapped, bounding into the walls. They both jumped. Winona laughed.

“I don't think it's funny,” Amy said as she huddled closer to Winona's legs.

Winona flipped the switch to light Amy's room and sat with her on the bed. “There's nothing to be afraid of.”

“Would you read me a story?” Amy asked.

“I have a better idea.” She opened the drapes, raised the blinds, and turned off the lights. “Let's watch the storm and let it tell us its story.”

“But it's a scary story,” Amy whined and she gripped Winona's hand.

“No, it's not. It's a beautiful story.” Thunder rumbled, then crashed. “Doesn't that sound like a bowling alley to you?”

Amy shrugged.

“Sometimes, we're scared of things we don't know or understand,” Winona said. “So let's watch the storm and get to know it. Of course, you always want to watch from indoors with the window down. Lightning can be very dangerous. But we're safe inside like this.”

Lightning zigzagged down the sky and thunder boomed. Amy jumped, but before she could whimper, Winona exclaimed, “Wow! Did you see that?”

“Yeah,” Amy said reluctantly.

“Beautiful. Let's watch for another.”

“There's one!” Amy pointed, growing more enthusiastic.

“How long do you think before it thu—”

Boom
.

Winona jumped. Amy giggled and snuggled closer.

“Which do you like the best?” Winona asked as they continued to watch flashes of light. “Lightning that flashes, or zigzags?”

Amy shrugged. “The zigzag is pretty cool.”

“Do you know the loud boom of thunder is only the sound of the lightning? And since light travels faster than sound, we see it before we hear it?”

Amy furrowed her brow and jumped at another crash.

“Seriously, watch for the next lightning. Then you'll know to expect the loud boom.”

“It's true.” Jake's voice was like the deep sound of thunder, and Winona jumped again. She turned to him, her heart quickening. He walked in and sat beside Amy.

“Or maybe it really is the sound of angels bowling in heaven,” Winona said.

Amy giggled again. “That would be pretty cool.”

“That's what I always believed when I was your age.”

They watched the storm as it faded and before long, Amy was sprawled across Winona's lap, asleep. Winona's heart swelled as a bond of kinship tightened around her. Sure, Amy knew her parents, but she was still somewhat orphaned, as Winona had been. Jake loved her like a father would; that much was obvious.

Still, as her bond for this child tightened, so did her objectivity. This was all temporary, and she couldn't afford to love this little girl. Amy would be going home soon, Jake right along with her, and she'd have to pick up the pieces of her life when they were gone. It'd be easier if she remained neutral. She'd like to be a good influence, but she couldn't fall in too deep.

“Thank you for that,” Jake said softly.

Winona caught his gaze as lightning flashed across his face. A dim light from the hall highlighted him and for a moment, she was hooked and couldn't look away. But then she smiled and glanced out the window.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Winona asked in an attempt to not make this any more complicated than it already was.

“Not particularly. We went swimming and dirt biking today.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Winona said. She swept a finger across her brow where hair tickled and tucked it behind her ear. It didn't stay and swooped to tickle her cheek. She ignored it, realizing her hair was a token of her feelings of vulnerability. She continued. “I was wondering if I could take her with me to the animal shelter sometime soon. I want to adopt a cat, and Reagan said it was okay since I'm staying in her condo. Reagan even said she might adopt one. I thought it'd be fun to take Amy. Then we can run to the store for a scratching post and food and stuff.”

Jake leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You'd make an excellent mother.”

Her heart pitter-pattered, her ears ringing with a warning. God, this felt good, being beside him, having Amy's head on her lap. The bond of love and trust wrapping around her. She felt like she was part of a family.

“You'd make an excellent father,” she said, smiling at him. Her skin quivered as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Warmth spread over and under her skin, settling in her belly and tingling through her toes.

He kissed her briefly on the mouth and they remained huddled together for a while, watching the storm pass, the rain mellow, the lightning ease.

“Stay here tonight?” Jake asked. When she hesitated, he continued. “You don't even have to stay with me. I just don't want you out on your bike tonight. What if it storms again?”

“It won't take me ten minutes to get home.”

“That's too long. It's after midnight. The streets are wet.”

“I don't have clothes. A toothbrush.”

“So leave in the morning before we head to the animal shelter.”

“What would Reagan and Garret think?”

Jake chuckled. “Probably about the same thing they've been thinking the last three weeks when I stayed at your place. Besides, they did the same thing before they married.”

“What about Amy?”

“We'll be up long before her.”

Winona studied outside, into the darkness, and felt lost and forlorn, as if blackness was all her future held. She wanted to be here, with Jake, with Amy, but she knew it couldn't last. Just like everything in her life.

Placing his fingers under her chin, he turned her face to his. “Would you stop pushing me away?”

“I'm not,” she said. But maybe she was. Maybe she should. He would leave eventually, in the next week, so why not prepare herself emotionally now?

“Yeah, you are. I say one thing about marriage and you tense up. There. You're doing it again. I wasn't even talking about us.”

Her tension had nothing to do with him speaking of marriage, but she took a deep breath and tried to relax her shoulders. Still, discomfort lingered in her belly. Her heart ached. A residing ache of “what ifs” and “never wills.” Jake was here for one reason only: Amy. He'd wanted to hire Winona, and now he didn't need to. Now he'd go back home, and she didn't plan on following. This was her home, and it'd taken her almost her whole life to find it.

Jake dropped his hands, but she didn't turn away. Though it was too dark for their eyes to meet, her gaze held onto his shadow. “And what if I was talking about us?” he asked after a silence that leapt through the walls like the thunder.

“Oh, Jake, don't be silly. We're way too different to be talking about things like that.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I spent my life running and searching, and now I'm ready to settle in one spot. You have way too many opportunities to tie yourself down in a relationship.”

“You can have a relationship without being tied down.”

“Oh, like having your cake and eating it, too?”

“That's not what I meant. And I'm not asking for forever with you or anyone else. I'm just asking for right now.”

“And you have right now. Don't make any more of it than it is.”

Jake's chest rose and he blinked hard. Winona knew she was the one complicating things, imagining a perfect life with this man and his goddaughter. She was the one making more of it than it should have been. And she was pushing him away. He'd admitted his addiction to sex, and she'd laughed and said she expected exclusive but didn't push him for more. Didn't push him to commit.

“Yeah. Okay. Well, good night.” Jake kissed her on the cheek, but the kiss was mild and left a trail of condescension with its heat. He rose and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

• • •

Jake almost nuzzled her neck and begged her to stay, but he froze. No way. He wouldn't beg. He loved her with Amy, appreciated everything she and her family had done for Amy, but he couldn't promise to settle or be here through the thick and thin of life. Not that she was asking.

He tried to convince her he'd never hurt her or leave her or take her for granted, but how could anyone predict the future? He'd done that before, and everything had come crashing down on him.

He stood and walked out the door without glancing back. Amy was still in Winona's lap, but she could shift Amy aside and sleep with her, or go home. It was her choice, and he wasn't going to convince her otherwise.

Before Brandon's death, his relationships with women had been flighty and shallow. He was too busy focusing his future on being the best triathlete he could be, and staying sober. Which wasn't hard to do when he was training. But now he realized even with Brandon and Amy—he was lonely.

His parents had died young, but they'd died together and they'd died in love. He always hoped for the same. Well, not to die young, but to find a love as strong as theirs had been. That was why it'd been so tough to lose them, and why he'd covered his pain and grief with drugs and alcohol.

Their love for him and for each other was something most kids and most adults would never have a chance to experience. He felt sorry for those people. People like Winona, who had been abandoned to an orphanage, only now she was beginning to feel like part of a family with her brother and her brother's family. Still, she had so much love in her heart. Enough love to go searching for a brother who may or may not want anything to do with her. Enough love to accept a man and a child into her heart and her life, all the while knowing she might lose them in the end.