Authors: Michelle Betham
It wasn’t exactly the most enthusiastic of invitations, but then it wasn’t as if he was head-over-heels in love with this girl. He felt something for her, sure. He just wasn’t sure what that was or where it was going. And just what kind of mess it was all going to cause.
‘I’ve got a couple of free days coming up, so you won’t mind if I come down and see you?’
‘No. I won’t mind. Look, Ellen…’ He sat back, pushing a hand through his messed-up dark hair.
‘Yes?’
He let out another heavy sigh, throwing his head back. Over the phone wasn’t really the right place to tell her he had no intention of taking this relationship anywhere further than the bedroom. Because of their history he really needed her to understand that. But over the phone wasn’t the right place. ‘Nothing. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Oh… okay. Well, I’ll see you sometime tomorrow, then. I’d better go book that train ticket.’
‘Yeah. See you tomorrow. Call me when you get into London.’
He put the phone down and threw his head back again. What the hell was he doing? Was his need for some kind of distraction really this desperate?
The doorbell cut through his thoughts, saving him from sinking into some kind of self-pitying analysis of how fucked-up his life was becoming again. He stood up, kicking his chair back before heading out into the hall, checking his watch as he went.
‘Do you know what time it is?’ he asked, swinging the front door open and finding Max on the doorstep.
‘I’m very much aware of the time, Ryan. My watch cost the best part of three grand so it’s extremely accurate. Can I come in?’
Ryan stood aside to let him through. ‘Something wrong?’
‘No. Just the opposite, as it happens. You going to offer me a drink?’
‘What did your last slave frigging die of?’
‘Exhaustion. Whiskey on the rocks, please. Slice of lemon on the side.’
Ryan threw him a look.
‘Okay. Hold the lemon. Anyway…’ He sat down on the arm of the sofa, clasping his hands together in his lap as he waited for Ryan to fix his drink. ‘I’ve just had word back from the police. There won’t be any charges brought against you.’
Ryan swung around, almost spilling Max’s drink in the process. ‘Really?’
‘Really. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be any repercussions from the F.A. or Newcastle Red Star.’
‘Can I get back to playing?’
‘Well, I’ve had a word with Dave French and he’s meeting with the Red Star board tomorrow, but he can’t see a problem with you returning to the squad.’
‘When?’
‘I don’t know, Ryan. I’ll let you know when I hear something from the club. But, listen, kiddo. Mud sticks, I’m sure you know that.’
‘I didn’t do anything, Max.’
‘You almost did. You were this close, and you know that. Now, it’s possible it
will
all blow over and soon you’ll be nothing more than yesterday’s news. But, on the other hand, as I said before, there
may
be repercussions.’
‘Like what?’ Ryan asked, handing Max his drink, but resisting the urge to get one of his own. Something told him he was going to need a clear head now.
‘Like the captaincy being taken from you.’
‘Jesus…’ Ryan sighed, leaning back against the sideboard. ‘They’d really do that?’
Max arched an eyebrow as he took a sip of whiskey. ‘They can do what the hell they like, kiddo. And, to be quite honest with you, that’s the lenient end of the spectrum.’
‘Is that what they’re gonna do?’
‘Dave mentioned it, yes. It may only be temporary, I don’t know. But if I were you I’d just shut up and take it.’
Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets, staring down at the floor. ‘And what about my transfer request?’
‘I’d forget that for now.’
‘And what if I don’t
want
to forget it, Max?’
‘Listen, don’t rock the boat any more than it already has been, okay? I know you want to move down here because you want to be with your baby, but right now is not the time to go demanding anything from a club that has given you more second chances than it’s humanly possible to give. You hear me?’
‘That’s bullshit, Max.’
‘It’s the way it’s gonna be, Ryan. You’re coming out of this relatively unscathed and for that you should be incredibly relieved. So you keep your head down, you behave yourself, and you say thank you to Newcastle Red Star by becoming that model player you were well on your way to becoming before all this hit the fan.’
‘Jesus, Max, I can’t be up there while Rico’s down here.’
‘Well, you’re just gonna have to get used to it. You’re not the first father to be separated from their child for a job, and some people have got it a hell of a lot harder than you have. With your money you can afford to be coming down here whenever you’ve got a spare afternoon.’
‘It’s not the frigging same, though, is it?’
Max finished his drink, fixing Ryan with another of his stern, no-nonsense looks. ‘I’ll keep you posted on any more developments. In the meantime, you just behave yourself, alright? Nothing stupid.’
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know, Ryan. You’ve done plenty of stupid things in the past. Pick one.’
‘I fucking hate you sometimes.’
‘Yeah. The feeling’s mutual.’ Max walked over to him, quickly squeezing his shoulder, allowing the tiniest of smiles to appear. ‘I’ll see myself out.’
‘Hang on a second, Max.’
‘What?’
‘Is there any… does anyone know how all this started? Who leaked it all to the press, I mean? Because somebody must have done.’
Max shrugged, digging his hands in his pockets. ‘No idea. Does it matter?’
‘Yeah. It matters to me. Because I think I know who’s behind it.’
Max narrowed his eyes. ‘I’m not sure I want to hear this.’
‘I think… Jim Allen. I think he’s behind this, Max, I really do…’
Max put a hand up to stop Ryan from saying any more. ‘Okay, I’ve heard enough. Forget it, Ryan. Don’t even go there.’
‘Seriously, Max. I really think he’s the one who started all this.’
‘And why would he do that, huh? Why?’
‘People keep asking me that…’
‘People? Who the hell else have you been talking to?’
‘I might have said something to Debbie – Debbie Hogan. Gary Blandford’s wife, Amber’s friend.’
‘Yes, thank you, Ryan. I’m well aware who Debbie Hogan is. Why were you talking to her?’
‘Because she was there, Max. She was there, and I needed to talk to someone because I just had this hunch…’
‘You had a
hunch
? You’re telling me you think Jim Allen is behind all this because you had a
hunch
?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘No, not really. Look, Ryan, just leave it, okay? I know you and Jim Allen have never had the best of relationships, but do you really think he’d do something like this?’
‘Yeah, I do. Look, I know there doesn’t seem to be any kind of logical reason why, now. I mean, he’s won, hasn’t he? He’s got Amber back, he’s a god over at Endleigh so he’s sorted there. Jesus, he’s even got my son! But I just have a feeling…’
‘Well, I’m sorry, kiddo, but you can’t go throwing accusations around just because you’ve got a “feeling.” It doesn’t work like that. So if I were you I’d just be grateful that you’ve come out of this fairly well and stop over-analysing everything.’ Max kept his eyes on Ryan for a second or two, watching his expression change. ‘It’s all in your head, Ryan. All this venom you’ve still got for your old boss, it’s all in your head.’
‘You think?’
‘She married him.’
‘I know that, Max. And I’m not…’
‘You need to forget whatever feelings you still have for her and get on with your life. And I know that’s hard now because of Rico, but for your own sanity, Ryan, just try and get it together, okay?’
Ryan said nothing; what
could
he say? That somewhere in the back of his mind he
wasn’t
hoping Amber would come back to him? He’d be lying. He was always going to hope Amber would come back to him. Always.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow,’ Max said with a kind smile, before leaving Ryan alone. With his thoughts. With his hopes. With his dreams that may or may not come true.
‘You sound a bit odd, Debbie. Everything alright? There’s nothing wrong with Jodi, is there?’
‘No. Jodi’s fine, everyone’s fine. I’m just tired, that’s all.’
‘Yeah. That’s the excuse I always use whenever I’m trying to avoid talking about something.’
‘I’m not trying to avoid… okay, I am.’
Amber sat bolt upright in Jim’s office chair, her attention suddenly piqued. ‘Come on, then. Spill.’
‘I don’t know if I… he made me promise not to say anything.’
‘
Who
made you promise not to say anything? Come on, Debbie. You’re gonna have to tell me now.’
Amber heard Debbie sigh heavily down the line.
‘Ryan.’
‘
Ryan
made you promise not to say anything? About what?’
Another sigh.
‘Debbie!’
‘He’s still in love with you, Amber.’
Amber threw herself back against the huge, black-leather chair, briefly closing her eyes. ‘I kind of know that already, Debbie. He told me so himself only the other day.’
‘He did? Did he also…?’
Amber sat upright again, resting her chin in her hand. ‘Did he also, what? Jesus, Debbie, this is like pulling teeth. I’ve had easier conversations with Rico.’
‘It’s nothing, chick. Just me being stupid.’
‘Did he also, what, Debbie? You’re not getting out of it that easily. When did you speak to him anyway?’
‘Just before he left for London. He came to see me because he needed to talk about… about something.’
‘Like what?’
There was another pause. Another moment of silence that only served to make Amber nervous.
‘It’s nothing, Amber, really. He was just upset, about all the negative publicity, and what it might all mean for his career, but it’s all alright now, isn’t it?’
‘Sort of, from what I can gather. Debbie, I’m struggling to understand this conversation, really I am.’
‘Yeah. I kind of wish I hadn’t started it myself.’
‘Did he say something else to you? Ryan, I mean. Apart from the obvious.’
A longer pause this time, and Amber clearly heard another heavy sigh come down the line.
Just tell me, Debbie, will you? I’m not going to shoot the messenger, alright? Whatever he’s said, it can’t be that bad, can it?’
‘I’m just worried he’s going to go back to what he used to be, Amber.’
Amber waited a second or two before responding to that, because she wasn’t entirely sure that was what Debbie had really wanted to say. ‘Okay, look, I’m getting bored of this now, so, I’m gonna love you and leave you, Debs. Ryan isn’t going to revert back to his old ways, I’m almost 100 per cent sure about that. And whatever it is he told you, you’re obviously not going to tell me…’
‘Amber, babe, I really
am
worried about him.’
‘I’ll speak to you soon, Debbie. Give Gary my love and Jodi a big hug from her godmummy.’ She threw her phone down on the desk, once more throwing herself back against Jim’s leather chair.
‘What’s that phone ever done to you?’ Jim smiled, closing his office door behind him.
Amber looked up, returning his smile. ‘Nothing. It’s Debbie. Sometimes talking to her is like entering the twilight-zone.’
Jim raised an amused eyebrow. ‘You two had some kind of disagreement?’
‘No,’ Amber sighed, getting up and walking over to him, straightening his jacket collar before kissing him quickly. ‘She just starts these conversations and then backs away from telling me something she obviously wants to tell me at the last minute.’
Jim’s expression changed from amusement to confusion.
‘She said she’d spoken to Ryan before he came down to London, and he’d said something to her that he’d made her promise not to tell me…’
‘Like what?’
‘That’s what I’ve just spent the past five minutes trying to get out of her. In the end I gave up. Whatever it is it’ll be pointless.’
Jim’s arm fell around her waist, pulling her closer. ‘Well, it can’t have been important, whatever it was. Anyway, shouldn’t Ryan be heading back home soon?’
‘He’s going tomorrow. He wanted to spend one more day with Rico. He’s not back training with Newcastle Red Star until Monday.’
‘Is he okay about being stripped of the captaincy?’
‘He seems fine about it. What’s bothering him the most is that Max has advised him to quit with the transfer talk and just keep his head down at Red Star for the foreseeable future.’ She looked up at Jim, right into those green eyes of his. ‘Is it really bad of me to be relieved about that? I mean, of course I feel for him. If I had to be away from Rico for any length of time it would devastate me. But I almost breathed a sigh of relief when he told me. He loves Rico so much, Jim. And I still feel so selfish for separating them like this.’
Jim squeezed her waist, kissing her gently, and Amber felt that familiar calm start to spread through her the second his lips touched hers. That was the effect he had on her. ‘Ryan Fisher is all grown up, Amber. People keep telling you that and you refuse to believe them. You keep saying that the person he was back then and the person he is now are two completely different people, so quit worrying about him and let’s just get on with our lives, okay?’
‘Is that an order?’
He smiled his all-encompassing, overwhelming smile and Amber felt her stomach dip and dive in the familiar, beautiful way it always did when he smiled at her. ‘Yeah. If it has to be.’
She reached up and slid a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down for another, longer kiss. ‘Okay. I’ll stop worrying about Ryan.’
‘Promise?’
She returned his smile, running her thumb lightly over his mouth. ‘I promise.’
‘Good.’
She stood on tiptoes to kiss him once more, pressing herself against him and then regretting it. ‘I’d better go.’ She smiled again, letting her hand drop, resting it against him. He was hard, and she would have loved nothing more than to see to that for him, but her timing was more than a little off. ‘Sorry.’