Finally Found (20 page)

That question resounded in her mind. While Cammie would have loved to have melted into him, she couldn’t allow herself to do that. Look what he had done to her sister. Look how Cin had suffered all those years. How could she allow herself to develop feelings for a guy who had caused her sister so much pain? The answer was clear. She couldn’t
. The best she could do would be to enjoy him now, in the moment. Remember that he wasn’t built for long-term relationships. Think of him as simply a friend…or better still…a friend with benefits…and save entanglements of the heart for those who could potentially stick it out. Theirs was to be nothing more than a mutually beneficial relationship. He was helping her. She was helping him. That would suffice.

So she tried to rest a moment, wrapped in his warmth. She ran her fingers up and down his arms, felt his muscles rippling under her fingertips as he periodically squeezed her close. While this was a totally foreign experience, it also felt welcome in an unexpected way. Her body felt heavy and comfortable. It would have been so easy for her to drift off, to let her mind go blank, but she just couldn’t. Something in her couldn’t allow that, couldn’t let her rest and grow accustomed to an experience she might never get to repeat. She would end up no better off than her sister, thinking and dreaming about an impossible future, nursing a hurt, and suffering the shame.

Staring at his face in the darkened room, she reached out, cupped his face in her hand. Sighing, her decision made, she slid slowly out from under his arms, slipped her legs out through the enclosure his own made. Then with one lingering look, she passed through the bathroom back into the safety of the top bunk. Though she scooted into the corner as best she could, it didn’t feel nearly as cozy as she remembered it. With a frown on her face, she finally fell asleep.

Bereft. He never understood what that word meant. The minute he woke up alone, however, it was the first thought that came to mind. Adam felt bereft without Cammie there. She was supposed to be here. He went to sleep with her, locked in, and somehow she was now gone. Hopping from the bed, he rushed to the bathroom and walked through to his old room. While he knew that she wouldn’t make a very big lump on the top bunk, there was no lump at all. Had she stayed with him all night and then just left first thing in the morning? Judging by the bed, the way the mattress was still slightly warm, that wasn’t the case. They had slept apart despite all his efforts to the contrary. He returned to the bathroom, flipped on the lights, shut the door, and decided to take a shower. Before Cammie, he took showers to get clean. Ever since Cammie, his showers had been multipurpose. He found he was always trying to get clean and recover from her closeness. A nice hot shower would make a world of difference.

By the time he reached the kitchen, he found Haley, Sam, and Cammie deep in discussion. “What size wedding do you think you would like to have?” He heard Cammie ask as he walked through the door. He shouldn’t have been
surprised to discover that she was taking notes.

“Morning,” he commented as he walked directly to the coffee pot. “Working already this morning? I thought you’d still be in bed.” He stared at her, willing her to meet his eyes, but she clearly had decided to keep that discussion private. “How’s the cocktail party coming? Our guests will start arriving around 7pm. Need my help with setting up?” He knew he was being pushy, but he was desperate to spend more time with her and he could actually feel his opportunities slipping away.

“Well,” Haley said when Cammie didn’t answer, “I’d like to keep it small, intimate, no more than say…one hundred guests.”

“Wow, that is small for a society wedding, but oh so much more manageable.” She smiled as she typed more into her phone. “Any color scheme or theme you may have in mind?” She asked these questions like she had been doing this her entire life, not like someone who had just recently started her own business.

“Seriously? Do people know this information when they are just in the beginning wedding planning stages?” Haley laughed nervously.

“Actually, there are some women who spend their entire lives planning their wedding. They are just waiting to find the guy to stick the ring on their finger, then they are off and running.” Cammie leaned in conspiratorially. “I’m glad you aren’t one of those.”

The discussion soon turned to food and Adam, seeing he was simply in the way, left the room and headed to his favorite spot in the great room, the chair closest to the fireplace. How did she do that, act like he didn’t exist, like his presence was inconsequential? He sighed and paced for a moment. There had to be something he could do to pass the time. He had already done as much as he could on her advertising campaign until he reached the office and the design team on Monday. What was left? Then it occurred to him, he could finish the list. For some reason the words from
Schindler’s List
came to mind.
The list means life
. While this wasn’t the same life and death situation, it was the difference between an attempt of a future with Cammie and no possibility at all. He rose suddenly and purposefully from the chair and headed to the bedroom. When he arrived he opened the dresser drawer, pulled out the list, and studied it.

At least he had a plan. Finish the list. Find Cammie’s sister. Somehow make it right. Live happily ever after.

That last part was really vague. While he couldn’t be sure that he meant to have a future with Cammie, he was certain that in order to have a future with anyone, he had to do this. Returning to the living room, he settled into his chair and went to work.

It had taken an entire po
t of coffee, one cheese Danish, a bowl of the leftover fruit salad, and a section of egg casserole, but as he read over the list one last time, he was reasonably confident he hadn’t forgotten anyone. Sam soon joined him in the great room. Maybe because he had finished what had seemed at the time like a most impossible task, he was feeling rather playful when his brother sat across from him on the loveseat.

“Still working on that list,” his brother said with a superior look. Adam loathed those moments. It was as if his brother had to constantly remind him that he was the disappointment, while Sam was the dutiful one.

“No, actually, I finished.” Adam gave him his best Cheshire cat grin.

“Really. So you know who Cammie’s sister is?” He smirked at his brother.

Frowning, he admitted, “No, I still have no idea who she is. Crap. I’m going to hell.” He glanced around and reconsidered. “Nope, I’m already there, trapped in a house with a woman who loves to hate me and my brother and his future wife who live to torment me.” He sighed.

“Let me see,” Sam urged. “I bet I can find her in two seconds flat.”

“Shall we bet on that?” He arched an eyebrow as he offered the challenge.

Pausing, Sam considered it. “Knowing you, I should never be a betting man.” He reached for the paper Adam held out to him and sat back in the chair.

While he looked at it, Adam asked, “So what brings you out here. Already bored with planning your own wedding?” He chuckled.

“No, not at all. They are just talking wedding cakes and…I decided to leave it to them.” He cleared his throat.

“Aha! You only wanted to be around for the tasting, right. And what’s to taste? You know that you are only going to get the white cake with the traditional buttercream frosting. You are a seriously vanilla guy.” Adam smirked.

Sam bristled. “I am not. I eat lots of kinds of cake.”

“Name one.” Adam leaned in. “Really, just one.”

Leaning on the arm of the sofa, he considered. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. He started to raise his finger as if he had the answer. Then he lowered it. Finally, he sat back in his chair and shrugged. “Never mind.”

Chuckling, Adam commented. “I bet Haley is vanilla, too.” Then he winked. “So, what’d you come up with? Which one is Cammie’s sister?”

“Of course, if you had her name, it would be too simple.” Sam sighed. “Do you ever feel like you open yourself up to this kind of scrutiny because of the choices you have made?”

Frowning, Adam responded calmly, “I never considered the consequences for my actions, Sam. I never once thought…oh, some day I may meet someone who will take offense to my past. I never really thought about settling down or meeting anyone. That wasn’t the kind of lifestyle I lived.” He leaned forward, “And I liked it that way. It was safe. There are no expectations like that. I could tell the women straight out that I wasn’t calling, I wasn’t staying over. Most of them took it as a challenge. I knew that. In some ways it felt wrong. In others…well, I had warned them. I came with my handy dandy disclaimer. If they refused to believe they needed to read the fine print, then they only had themselves to blame. Now…we’re here, of course, and it all looks a whole lot different to me.” He clapped his hands together. “So lay it on me. Who’s the lucky sister?”

“I looked over this list twice, and while it is substantial…meaning I could have missed something…I don’t think so. She’s not on here. You forgot her.” He gave him a sour look.

“That’s the thing. I went over it in my mind again and again. I didn’t. Every girl I even kissed, groped, or screwed is on there.” He scoured the list one more time while Sam looked on.

“What about the time at the party for those twins?” Sam chuckled as he recalled that party.

“That was just the kissing and groping…but it was my first kissing and groping with twins so…that was cool. See, they are right here.” He flipped the list around and started pointing at the names in question.

“Right.” Sam started thinking again.

It was clear to Adam that this discussion could go on for hours and they’d still be no closer to figuring out who Cammie’s sister was. Luckily, at that moment, their discussion was interrupted. Haley came out and plopped down on the love seat with Sam. “Whew.” She began. “I had no idea how much went into wedding planning. We should elope.”